Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Mitch has a day off but still has to work.

Episode 2.21 “The Vortex”

(Dir by L. Lewis Stout, originally aired on May 9th, 1997)

Mitch has the day off and he’s spending it with Ryan!  No matter what else one might say about Baywatch Nights and the direction it took as the production budget grew smaller, David Hasselhoff and Angie Harmon made for a cute couple and, as this episode began, I was kind of looking forward to watching them spend the day together.

Unfortunately, when they come across a fortune teller’s shop, Ryan insists that they go inside and discover their future.  Mitch mocks Ryan for “believing in that stuff” and says that there’s no such thing as psychic powers or being able to see the future, despite the fact that, over the course of the second season, Mitch has both gotten psychic powers and traveled through time.  Seriously, I get that Mitch was supposed to be the skeptic of the group but, by this point in the series, Mitch has seen and dealt with enough that his continual skepticism is just not believable.  Especially after last week’s episode, Mitch should be prepared to accept anything.  If this was a Lovecraft short story, Mitch would be ranting about the things he’s seen while locked away in an insane asylum.

At first, the store appears to be deserted.  Ryan sits at the fortune telling table and, when an actress (played by Priscilla Inga Taylor of Malibu CA), comes in the store, Ryan is able to tell her that she’s going to get the next role for which she auditions.  (I’d like to think that Taylor is playing her Malibu CA character, Traycee, here.)  After the actress leaves, Mitch and Ryan are suddenly joined by the owner of the shop, Wahote (Floyd “Red Crow” Westerman).  Wahote invites them to step behind a curtain and into a vortex and soon, Mitch and Ryan find themselves ten minutes into the future and watching as their future selves receive a call from Teague telling them that they need to investigate a boat that’s come back from the Amazon.  Future Mitch complains about always having to do things on his day off.  What I find strange is that neither present not future Mitch and Ryan seem to be curious as to why Teague, who apparently has connections with the CIA, is always asking the two of them to do these things.

A mysterious woman (Elaine Bilstad) shows up and says something about pollution and the rain forests.  Mitch and Ryan jump around in time and eventually, future Ryan and Mitch have to help present Ryan and Mitch get off the boat because the boat is full of mutants that have been created by pollution.  Or something.  To be honest, I had a hard time following the plot of this one.  Time travel nonsense is always a bit difficult for me to follow and the constantly moving camera was a bit of a distraction.

To give credit where credit is due, this episode had a good deal of atmosphere and, as I said earlier, Hasselhoff and Harmon were a likable team.  But the episode’s story was nearly incoherent and the fact that Mitch was still a skeptic at the end of the episode required too great of a suspension of disbelief.  During this episode, all I could think about was how obvious it was that Baywatch Nights was on its last legs.

Speaking of which …. next week, we finish up Baywatch Nights!  It’s time for it all to end.