Tag Archives: Karen Lorre

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.6 “Sandman”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bicyclists continue to get in everyone’s way.

Episode 3.6 “Sandman”

(Dir by Terrence H. Winkless, originally aired on Sept. 21st, 1997)

A hitman named Robert “Sandman” Enright (John Michael Bolger) has been released from prison.  Because Enright was previously arrested by TC, TC decides to start harassing him as soon as he gets out of jail.  For a bunch of dorks on bikes, the Pacific Blue folks sure do enjoy abusing their power.

Anyway, Sandman is out for revenge against the three men who framed him.  And, since TC is tailing him everywhere, Sandman is able to manipulate TC into basically becoming his bodyguard.  The main theme of this episode is that TC is an idiot.

Speaking of idiots, Cory’s boyfriend, FBI Agent Tim Stone (David Lee Smith), confessed that he was thinking of getting back together with his ex.  With Chris’s support, Cory fought for her man.  Myself, I just struggled with the fact that Stone, TC, Palermo — and their actors, Smith, Jim Davidson, and Rick Rossovich — all basically looked like the same guy at different stages of his life.

Finally, Palermo, TC, and Victor played volleyball!  That was at the end of the episode and it went on for a while.  The whole scene felt like the show’s way of saying, “Hey, remember when Rick Rossovich was in Top Gun?  That was cool.”

As usual, this episode featured a lot of tough talk and intense looks, all of which were negated by the presence of grown-ups on bicycles.  Even when TC was spying on the Sandman, he did while sitting on his bicycle.  It just looked dumb.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 2.16 “Movin’ On Out”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

This week, guess who is the worst?

Episode 2.16 “Movin’ On Out’

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on February 19th, 2000)

This episode revisits a familiar theme.  Lisa — this is, the show’s Lisa as opposed to your intrepid, red-headed reviewer — is the absolute worse.  This week, Lisa is annoyed with Traycee because Traycee doesn’t always give Lisa her messages and Traycee sent the plumber home before he could fix the sink.  (Traycee thought Lisa was trying to set her up on a date with the plumber.)  Lisa says, “I can’t live like this” and proceeds to write up a long list of rules that Traycee will have to follow if she wants to continue living in the apartment.

(If I remember correctly, Traycee’s name is on the lease so how exactly Lisa is going to kick her out, I have no idea.)

It’s a really long list.  Traycee decides to move in with the Collins brothers.  The Collins brothers are excited because Traycee is planning on throwing a lingerie party with all of her friend.  (Jason and Scott assume they’ll be invited.)  Lisa tell Jason and Scott that they will regret letting Traycee move in but actually, Jason and Scott love living with her.

Meanwhile, Lisa gets a new roommate, who turns out to be a psychotic wrestling fan.  And really, that’s where this episode should have ended.  Lisa spent this episode acting like a spoiled snob, going so far as to tell other people — like the Collins brothers — not to let Traycee live with them.  Hey, Lisa — IT WAS TRAYCEE’S APARTMENT IN THE FIRST GODDAMN PLACE!  And didn’t we already do this stupid story at the start of the season?  Yes, we did!  This episode should have ended with Lisa realizing her new roommate was crazy.  Instead, it ended with Lisa giving Traycee a not terribly convincing apology.

Anyway, Traycee does move back in with Lisa.  She was tired of the Collins boys always wanting her to throw another party.  Lisa kicks out her new roommate.  Has Lisa ever considered that she might be impossible to live with?

Fortunately, the B-plot was kind of cute.  After witnessing him saving the life of a sea lion, Alex develops a crush on Murray.  Murray likes Alex but he worries she’s too beautiful to ever stick with a guy like him.  Jason advices Murray to act like an obnoxious jackass because women love that.  (Excuse me while I dramatically roll my eyes.)  Murray takes Jason’s advice, even though Jason hasn’t had a girlfriend since Stads abandoned him for Europe.

(Seriously, Stads dumped Jason for a continent.  Ha ha, sucks to be you, Jason.)

This B-plot may have been dumb but you know what?  Brandon Brooks was adorable as the emotionally vulnerable Murray.  Brooks is often the only reason to watch this show.  He manages to play the goofy best friend without turning the character into a Screech-style caricature and that makes him unique amongst the goofy best friends who populated the sitcoms that Peter Engel produced in the 90s and early aughts.  When I watched the pilot, I never would have guessed that Murray would eventually become my favorite character but that is what has happened.  On a show where everyone else is either self-absorbed, bitchy, or just a jackass, Murray’s good vibes are often Malibu CA’s saving grace.

Silent Assassins (1988, directed by Lee Doo-yong and Scott Thomas)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Elite cop Sam Kettle (Sam J. Jones) just wants to get out of Los Angeles and live a peaceful life with his girlfriend, Sara (Linda Blair), but the streets have other plans.  The evil Kendrick (Gustav Vintas) has kidnapped Dr. London (Bill Erwin) and is determined to get the code for a deadly bioweapon.  For reasons that are never made clear, Kendrick has also kidnapped young Joanna (Joanna Chong).  Backing Kendrick up is the evil Miss Amy (Rebecca Ferrati).  Backing up Kettle is Joanna’s uncle, Jun Kim (Jun Chong) and Bernard (Phillip Rhee), the son of Oyama (Mako), the owner of the local dojo.  Can Sam save the world, saved the doctor and the girl, and also save his relationship with Sara?

Silent Assassins is a terrifically fun martial arts movie.  The action is well-choreographed.  The film’s plot doesn’t make a bit of sense.  The movie is full of weird throw-away dialogue, like an offended Ms. Amy announcing that she’s “a biochemist too.”  Chong shows off his moves, Rhee plays his character as a playboy having the time of life, and Jones glowers at the camera as only Sam J. Jones can.  There’s an army of loud ninjas (so much for the silent part) and Vintas is so villainous that he even carries around a red rose as some sort of strange trademark.  The movie is full of weird details and no one seems to be taking any of it too seriously.  Movies like this are why people like me always went straight for the direct-to-video releases when we went to Blockbuster back in the day.

Linda Blair is second-billed.  When Lisa and I watched this movie, she kept track of Linda’s screentime.  Linda’s onscreen for a total of ten minutes and she spends most of that time doing the worried girlfriend thing.  It’s a sad waste of Linda Blair, the one misstep of an otherwise great experience.