Street Fighter (1994, directed by Stephen E. de Souza)


What does the M. stand for in M. Bison?

Originally, it was supposed to stand for Mike but my theory is that it stands for Marvelous because how else can you describe Raul Julia’s performance as the villain of Street Fighter?  Julia was dying of stomach cancer when he played Bison, a condition reflected by his gaunt appearance.  But Julia still obviously threw himself into every scene, delivering every melodramatic line as if it was the most important piece of dialogue that he had ever been trusted with delivering.  As a film, Street Fighter is an overedited mess that features one of Jean-Claude Van Damme’s worst performances.  Raul Julia saves it, though.  He gets some of the worst lines and transforms them into the best lines through sheer determination.  That man could have read the phone book and made it interesting.

Jean-Claude Van Damme is Col. Guile in this early video game adaptation.  This isn’t one of Van Damme’s better performances.  He doesn’t really play the Guile from the game.  Instead, he’s just Van Damme with a blue beret and an American flag on his bicep.  Far better are Damian Chapa as Ken and Bryon Mann as Ryu, even though neither gets to do as much as a fan of the game would want them to.  Ming-Na Wen is a promising Chun Li but, instead of focusing on her fighting skill, the movie gets bogged down in trying to set her up for a sequel that would never come.  Are you a fan of Cammy?  Don’t get excited because all Kylie Minogue does is ask Guile if he’s okay.  I did like Wes Studi as Sagat and Gregg Rainwater and Peter Tuiasosopo as T. Hawk and Honda but it still feels like only Raul Julia gives a performance that can compete with the video game version of his character.

There were four editors credited for Street Fighter and maybe that explains why the fights are a mess and the plot is impossible to follow.  It’s a video game adaptation and I don’t demand much but I would like to know who is winning each fight.  The film’s visual scheme, meant to duplicate the look of the game, showed some promise but the editing gave the movie a frantic feel that made it difficult to really appreciate the production design.

There’s never really been a good Street Fighter film but I still think it could happen with the right cast and crew.  If Mortal Kombat could (eventually) be turned into a decent movie, why not Street Fighter?  I still don’t think anyone will ever top Raul Julia as M. Bison, though.  Raul Julia made you believe in Pax Bisonica!

“And peace will reign and all humanity will bow to me in humble gratitude.” — M. Bison

Linda Blair In Oz: Fatal Bond (1992, directed by Vince Monton)


Fatal Bond is another Australian exploitation flick starring Linda Blair.

In this one, Linda plays a hairdresser named Leonie.  When a drifter named Joe (Jerome Ehlers) crashes a birthday party that Leonie’s attending, it’s lust at first sight.  Even though Joe is a violent womanizer who steals milk and headbutts anyone who looks at him crossly, Leonie still takes him home with her.  Soon, Joe is crashing in Leonie’s bedroom and Leonie is providing Joe with an alibi whenever the police come looking for him.  (Joe says that he has a lot of parking tickets.)  When one of Joe’s one night stands turns up dead, Leonie starts to suspect that Joe might be responsible.

Like Dead Sleep, Fatal Bond features Linda Blair as an American who lives in Australia and who has bad taste in men.  While Linda Blair has never been a great actress, she’s almost always brings grit, determination, and a will to survive to her roles.  Unfortunately, none of that is on display in Fatal Bond, where she’s such a pushover that she lets Joe take over her life.  There’s not really much to the whole serial killer storyline either, especially not when the murderer’s identity will be obvious to anyone watching.  There’s also another subplot in the movie about Joe searching for his brother, who has gone missing.  Fatal Bond doesn’t know if it’s a Linda Blair thriller or a standard Australian crime film.

Don’t be fooled by the sexy cover art.  I love a good Linda Blair movie but Fatal Bond was just boring.  If you do see the film, keep an eye out for Joe Bugner, the former heavyweight boxer who once fought Muhammad Ali.  Bugner has a small role as a lowlife criminal in Fatal Bond.  His partner-in-crime is Mel’s younger brother, Donal Gibson, stepping into a role that was originally earmarked for Russell Crowe.