Jennifer Jason Leigh | Through the Shattered Lens

Mike Damone

Mike Damone, you little prick.

I’ve watched the 1982 high school dramedy Fast Times At Ridgemont High a handful of times. I’ve reached the point where, every time I watch it, I know exactly what’s going to happen. I know when stoner Jeff Spicoli (Sean Penn) is going to order pizza. I know that Charles Jefferson (Forest Whitaker) is going to go crazy during the big game against Lincoln High. I know that when Stacy (Jennifer Jason Leigh) kisses the sweet but shy Mark Ratner (Brian Backer), he’s going to end up panicking and scrambling for an excuse to go home. I know that Brad (Judge Reinhold) is going to get caught masturbating. I even know when Anthony Edwards, Nicolas Cage, and Eric Stoltz are all going to appear in early performances.

Nicolas Cage, 30 years before he would agree to star in a remake of Left Behind.

In other words, I know exactly what’s going to happen.

But, Mike Damone (played, very well, by Robert Romanus, who is only an actor and shouldn’t be held responsible for the actions of a fictional character) — every time, I find myself hoping you’ll do the right thing and every time, you let me down.

Oh sure. I know that you tried to raise the money to help pay for Stacy’s abortion. I saw the scene of you on the phone in your bedroom, begging people to finally pay for the tickets that you’d sold them. I know that you tried but when you couldn’t get the money, where were you? When Stacy had to ask her older brother, Brad, for a ride to the clinic, where were you? After Stacy left the clinic, she found Brad waiting for her. Brad agreed not to ask Stacy who had gotten her pregnant. He agreed not to tell their parents. Brad was there for his sister. Where were you, Mike Damone?

What really upsets me is that, up until you abandoned Stacy, you were one of the more likable characters in Fast Times At Ridgemont High. I mean, sure — you didn’t get to deliver any classic lines like Spicoli did. And you weren’t adorably shy like Mark. But, Mike Damone — I believed in you! We all believed in you! (Imagine me doing my best Tyra Banks imitation here.) You were a cocky guy who spent all of your time selling concert tickets at the mall but you know what? We all assumed that, underneath all of the attitude, there secretly lurked a good guy. I mean, we could tell that you sincerely cared about your friend Mark and, because we’re all fools apparently, we even thought that maybe Stacy could bring out the real you. When Stacy sat there writing “Mrs. Stacy Damone” on her test paper in history class, we understood. Because, after all, we’ve all had a Mike Damone in our life.

Rat and Mike

But then, what happened? Well, first, you had sex with Stacy despite the fact that you knew Mark liked her. Of course, for all your bluster and talk, it turned out that sex with Mike Damone amounted to 2 minutes of squirming followed by that classic line, “I think I came.” And then you left, saying those words that every girl dreams of hearing from someone she’s just been with: “I’ll see you around.” (Or maybe you said, “I’ll give you a call,” or “I’ve got to go now.” Either way, it was a pretty shitty thing to say, Damone.)

As you may have guessed, Fast Times At Ridgemont High is not your typical teen comedy. In fact, over three decades since it was first released, it remains one of the best and most perceptive films about teenagers ever made. Over on the A.V. Club, Keith Phipps refers to Fast Times as being “a Trojan horse of a teen comedy that balanced lowbrow gags with subtle humor, genuine insight .. and pathos,” and that’s such a perfect description that I’m not at all ashamed to repeat it word-for-word here.

Don’t get me wrong. Though Fast Times At Ridgemont High has a lot more drama than you would expect from a film with the words “Fast Times” in the title, it’s also an undeniably funny film. It’s just that, unlike so many other teen comedies, the comedy comes from a very real place. This is one of those rare films where the characters are funnier than the situations that they find themselves in. You laugh because you relate to the characters. (Admitedly, you might also laugh at what some of them are wearing. Mike Damone’s keyboard print scarf comes to mind…)

Spicoli and Hand

Like many classic teen films — American Graffiti, Fame and Dazed and Confused, to cite just three obvious examples — Fast Times At Ridgemont High is an ensemble piece that follows several different students as they survive a year at Ridgemont High. Sean Penn’s Jeff Spicoli is the character that everyone always mentions as a favorite and indeed, he does get the best lines and his battles with Mr. Hand (Ray Waltson) are definitely a highlight of the film. People also always mention Linda (Pheobe Cates), who has a boyfriend in college and who walks in on Brad while he’s fantasizing about her. And yes, Linda is a memorable character and not just because she bares her breasts during Brad’s fantasy. She’s also Stacy’s best friend and I think we’ve all had a friend like Linda, someone who we looked up to and assumed had all the answers. For that matter, Brad is also an interesting character and there’s something undeniably fascinating about watching as he goes from being a carefree, popular teen to being a guy working behind the counter at 7-11.

(If only Brad had not gotten Arnold that job at All-American Burger…)

Agck!

However, for me, the film will always be about Stacy, if just because she’s the character to which I relate. I know when I was 15, I felt a lot like Stacy and, every time I watch Fast Times, I feel like some of Stacy’s experiences could have been taken straight out of my diary. I had the same combination of confidence and insecurity and the same questions about why boys could talk like men but never act like them. Stacy, of course, is played by Jennifer Jason Leigh who gives a remarkably brave and vulnerable performance in this film. Off the top of my head, I can’t tell you who won the Oscar for best supporting actress of 1982 but it doesn’t matter. Jennifer Jason Leigh should have won it.

Jennifer Jason Leigh in Fast Times At Ridgemont High

Fast Times is often referred to as being a Cameron Crowe film, largely because Crowe famously went undercover at an actual high school while writing the book that served as the basis for his script. And yes, Fast Times is filled with scenes and characters that feel undeniably Cameron Crowe-like. However, Fast Times was directed by Amy Heckerling and thank God for that. Heckerling brings a sensitive touch to material that a male director would be tempted to play solely for exploitation. Cameron Crowe may have written the script but it’s definitely an Amy Heckerling film.

And, sorry, Mike Damone — you’re still a little prick.

Mike Damone, a.k.a. Little Prick

My sixth and (to date, anyway) final home state is Louisiana, where my family called Shreveport home from December of 1996 to May of 1998. Louisiana was the last state I lived in before moving back to Texas, where I’ve remained ever since.

Whenever people find out that I used to live in Louisiana, they always seem to automatically assume that means that I either lived in New Orleans or next door to the family from Duck Dynasty. They always seem to be somewhat disappointed to learn that I lived in Shreveport, which has a lot more in common with East Texas than with the things that most people visualize when they think about Louisiana. However, I will always have good memories of Shreveport and let me tell you why. For most of my childhood, I had a really bad stutter and, as a result, I was extremely shy. However, shortly after my 12th birthday, my stutter went away. Whether it was the result of spending hours with speech therapists or if it’s just something that I outgrew, Shreveport will always be the city where I stopped stuttering. (And, it should be noted, Shreveport may not be New Orleans but it still celebrates Mardi Gras. It’s just that the celebrations in Shreveport are a bit more …. sedate.) So, seriously — don’t say a word against Shreveport.

Besides, Shreveport has a wonderful atmosphere all of its own. In fact, the same thing can be said about all of Louisiana. With its long history and unique culture, Louisiana is perhaps the most atmospheric state in the union and that atmosphere is perfectly displayed in Sister, Sister, an effective little thriller from 1987.

Sister, Sister tells the story of two sisters living in a dilapidated mansion on the bayous. The older sister, Charlotte (Judith Ivey) is in love with Sheriff Cleve Doucet (Dennis Lipscomb) but she knows she can never marry him because she has to watch and protect her younger sister, Lucy (Jennifer Jason Leigh). Lucy is mentally unstable and claims that she can communicate with the ghosts that live in the bayous.

Charlotte and Lucy have turned their mansion into the boarding house and they rent a room to Matt (Eric Stoltz), a congressional aide who is taking his vacation in the bayous. Matt takes an interest in Lucy, which raises the suspicions of Etienne (Bejamin Mouton), a sinister handyman who appears to be obsessed with Lucy himself. As you can probably guess, nobody in this film is quite who he or she appears to be and it all leads to the uncovering of dark secrets from the past.

So, let’s just start with the obvious. The plot of Sister, Sister doesn’t make much sense. If you think about it, you’ll find a lot of improbabilities. So, my suggestion is that you just don’t think about it. Instead, watch the film for the performances of Judith Ivey and Jennifer Jason and the atmosphere of the bayous. Making his directorial debut here, future Twilight director Bill Condon captures a lot of haunting images of the bayou and his direction emphasizes mood over cheap thrills. The end result is a horror film that might not be scary but it certainly is creepy and stays with you after it’s over.

If nothing else, Sister, Sister is an effective B-movie. It’s also a nice showcase for my former home state of Louisiana.