Jaye P. Morgan | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Gopher sings!

Episode 3.6 “Gopher’s Greatest Hits/The Vacation/One Rose A Day”

(Dir by Alan Rafkin, originally aired on October 13th, 1979)

What a pleasant cruise this turned out to be!

Two sisters, Joan (Joanna Cassidy) and Olivia (Jaye P. Morgan), are apparently regulars on the boat. They sail so often that Captain Stubing literally jumps for joy when he sees that they are once again on the ship. Joan and Olivia always take the cruise together and usually, they have a wild time. But this year, Olivia is shocked when Joan shows up with her husband, Byron (Conrad Janis)! Byron is a bit uptight and not at all happy when he starts to hear stories about how wild his wife and sister-in-law have gotten in the past. He assumes that Joan has cheated on him. She hasn’t but Olivia has cheated on her husband. In the end, Olivia continues to have fun and Joan decides that it’s time to settle down. This story suffered a bit because Byron came across as being insufferably self-righteous but Joanna Cassidy and Jaye P. Morgan were believable as sisters. As someone who has enjoyed a wild vacation or two with her sisters, I could relate.

Meanwhile, Janet Latham (Martha Scott) is taking her first vacation since the death of her husband. Her florist, Henry (Don Ameche), is also on the cruise. Every day, during their marriage, Janet’s husband would have Henry deliver a single white rose to Janet. After her husband died, Henry continued to deliver the roses to Janet. He allowed Janet to believe that her husband had arranged for her to continue to receive the daily roses but it turns out that Henry has been delivering them on his own because he’s fallen in love with her. Janet does fall in love with Henry on the ship, though she fears that she’s betraying her husband’s memory. Fortunately, by the end of the cruise, she’s ready to take another shot on love. This story worked wonderfully, largely due to the sincere and heartfelt performances of Martha Scott and Don Ameche. There was a tremendous amount of sincerity to their love story and it was impossible not to smile at the sight of them leaving the cruise together.

Finally, Julie has a problem! The singer that she scheduled to perform in the Acapulco Lounge gets the mumps and has to cancel at the last minute. Julie has to find a replacement. Fortunately, it turns out that Gopher has a great singing voice. He performs at the Lounge, wearing a pink tuxedo and acting like a drunk brat packer. The audiences loves him. The captain, once skeptical, applauds. Gopher thinks that they love his singing but actually, they all think that he’s parodying a bad lounge act. When the captain congratulates Gopher for being a brilliant comedian, the crestfallen Gopher says that he’s only going to sing in the shower from now on. So, Julie arranges for a fake shower to be placed in the middle of the Acapulco Lounge so that Gopher can sing Danny Boy while Isaac holds a watering can over his head. Again, the captain loves it. This was undoubtedly a goofy storyline but goofiness was Fred Grandy’s strong suit and it’s hard not to smile at his over-the-top interpretation of Mack the Knife.

This was a good episode that really showed how much fun The Love Boat could be at its best. From the sentimental Don Ameche/Martha Scott storyline to Fred Grandy dancing around the pool, this was an entertaining cruise.

Vic “The Bomber” Bealer is an amateur boxer who appears to be poised to escape from life in his dreary hometown. He is such a good fighter that he is on the verge of making the U.S. Olympic Team and he is so good-looking that everyone, from his teenage girlfriend (Anne Archer) to his gay manager (Ned Glass) to a woman he meets at a gas station, automatically falls in love with him. However, after his girlfriend tells him that she is pregnant, Vic abandons both her and boxing. When she leaves town to have an abortion, Vic starts boxing again but then he learns that she may not have actually had an abortion and Vic leaves for Los Angeles, to see both her and his son.

Sadly, there is something about boxing that has always brought out the pretentious side of some filmmakers and that is the case with The All-American Boy. This episodic film (which claims to portray “The Manly Art In Six Rounds”) tries to present Vic as being an anti-hero but mostly, he just seems to be vacant loser. Vic sulks through the entire film, despite not really having much to sulk about. When one of his conquests asks him what he is thinking, Vic replies, “I ain’t thinkin'” and the movie provides no reason to doubt him on this point. I was not surprised to learn that The All-American Boy was filmed in 1969 and was deemed unreleasable until the combined success of Midnight Cowboy and Deliverance made Voight into a star. On the plus side, when he made the film, Jon Voight looked like he could actually step inside the ring and throw a few punches. On the negative side, the boxing scenes go heavy on the slow motion which, when overused, just looks stupid. Raging Bull, this film is not.

When it comes to The All-American Boy, Duke has the right idea: