Ice Cream Man (1995, directed by Norman Apstein)


When he was a young boy, Gregory Tudor was traumatized when he witnessed the gangland-style execution of the neighborhood ice cream man.  He was retraumatized when he was sent to an insane asylum.  Now, Gregory (Clint Howard) has grown up and he’s the ice cream man!  Everyone in the neighborhood loves his ice cream but the local kids suspect that he’s using human body parts to get the flavor just right.  It turns out that the kids know what they’re talking about.

Ice Cream Man almost feels like a zero-budget precursor to Stranger Things, with the kids knowing what’s happening in their town while the majority of the adults are too self-absorbed to notice.  One of the kids is a Macauley Culkin look-alike known as Small Paul (Mikey LeBeau).  He comes to admire Gregory and his murderous devotion to ice cream.  The movie’s really stupid but it’s clearly not meant to be taken seriously and Clint Howard really throws himself into his role.  One thing that makes Ice Cream Man enjoyable is that you know Ron Howard had to sit through it because his brother’s in it.

The most interesting thing about Ice Cream Man is the number of recognizable actors who appear in tiny roles.  David Warner is the town’s reverend.  David Naughton is a clueless father who is married to Sandahl Bergman.  Jan-Michael Vincent is a detective.  Olivia Hussey is Gregory’s former nurse.  Former baseball player and future senatorial candidate Steve Garvey plays another parent.  With the exception of Vincent, it’s hard not to believe that the members of the cast didn’t have anything better to do.  Never underestimate the appeal of a quick paycheck.

Clint Howard has said that a sequel is in pre-production.  The Ice Cream Man will return.

Retro Television Review: The Last Fling (dir by Corey Allen)


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1987’s The Last Fling!  It  can be viewed on YouTube and Tubi.

Phillip Reed (John Ritter) is an attorney who has never gotten married, despite all of his friends trying to set him up with single women.  Even his law partner (Scott Bakula) worries about how Phillip’s love life is going.  Phillip’s married best friends (Paul Sand and Kate Zentall) think that Phillip is scared of commitment.  Phillip’s mother (Paddi Edwards) thinks he’s gay.  Joanne Preston (Shannon Tweed) enjoys sleeping with him but she owns a lot of cats that make him sneeze.  And since he’s played by John Ritter, you better believe that every sneeze is more dramatic than the last.

Gloria Franklin (Connie Selleca) is engaged to marry Jason Elliot (John Bennett Perry) but she worries that her rigidly controlled lifestyle has caused her to miss out on enjoying her time as a single person.  When she finds out that Jason is going to go to Las Vegas for a wild bachelor party, she decides to have one last fling of her own.

Phillip and Gloria meet each other at the zoo.  (Again, because Phillip is played by John Ritter, there are multiple shots of him making monkey noises while looking at the gorillas.)  Gloria tells Phillip that her name is Marsha Lyons.  Their meeting leads to Phillip and Gloria/Marsha spending the weekend in Mexico together.  (A very young, pre-Saved By The Bell Mario Lopez shows up as the kid who gives them their renal car.)  Despite an unseen mishap that causes their car to catch on fire, Phillip and Gloria spend a romantic night at a villa.  When Phillip wakes up the next morning, he’s convinced that he’s finally found the woman with whom he wants to spend the rest of his life.  However, Gloria is already gone.  She leaves behind a video confession, in which she tells Phillip that she’s going to be getting married.

Phillip returns to Los Angeles, determined to track down the mysterious Gloria and stop that wedding.

The Last Fling is an uneven romantic comedy.  It starts out as an amiable and sweetly funny film, with both Connie Sellecca and John Ritter giving likable performances.  But once Phillip returns from Mexico and starts searching for Gloria, it gets a bit too manic for its own good.  Instead of being a funny movie about two human beings looking for love, it instead becomes a live-action cartoon with John Ritter running from one location to another while being chased by Gloria’s husband-to-be.  The movie ends up getting so frantic that it actually becomes a bit annoying, which is a shame considering how things started.  By the end of the movie, Phillip is so obsessive that it’s hard not to feel that Gloria would be better off just staying single and maybe spending the next weekend in Mexico with Scott Bakula.

The director of The Last Fling played Buzz in Rebel Without A Cause.  Fortunately, no one plays chicken in this movie.