Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The entire series can be found on YouTube!
This week …. ugh.
Episode 3.15 “The Long Road Home”
(Dir by Allan Kroeker, originally aired on February 12th, 1990)
This week’s episode starts where most episodes end. Micki and Johnny retrieve the cursed antique. In this case, it’s a yin-yang charm that allows the owner to swap minds with a recently deceased person. That sounds like a really cool antique and I have to admit that I’m kind of annoyed that this is one of those shows where the antique is recovered early. I would have enjoyed seeing the entire search.
I certainly would have enjoyed it more than having to spend the next 40-something minutes listening to Micki and Johnny discuss whether or not to start a relationship while, at the same time, being pursued by an inbred redneck and his brother. This episode goes off the rails as soon as Micki and Johnny step into a roadside diner that is owned by a family of homicidal hillbillies. In order to save their lives, Johnny had to use the cursed antique himself so that he could enter the body of one of the brothers. That went against everything that the show previously established about the cursed antiques. You’re not supposed to use a cursed antique, not even once. Johnny uses it and everything works out fine for him. It feels like cheating and it was something that Ryan would never have done. God, I miss Ryan.
But I want to get back to this relationship nonsense. Since when is Micki attracted to Johnny? Johnny’s been hitting on Micki since his first appearance and she’s never been interested in the past. Now, suddenly, they’re having a relationship talk? It comes out of nowhere. In the end, Micki and Johnny agree not to have a relationship as long as there are still cursed antiques that need to be found and that’s a good idea. Still, the whole thing just felt tacked on.
This episode was dull. Chris Wiggins wasn’t in it and that’s a shame because this episode needed his steady, no-nonsense presence.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!
This week, a nerdy film students takes his love of a 1940s horror film too far!
Episode 2.16 “Scarlet Cinema”
(Dir by David Winning, originally aired on February 20th, 1989)
Darius Pogue (Jonathan Wise) is a nerdy film student who is obsessed with The Wolf Man. When Darius steals an old antique movie camera, he discovers that, by looking through the camera’s view finder, he can bring The Wolf Man to life and send him to kill anyone who annoys him. Darius kills a snooty antique store manager. He kills a bully. He kills his professor. He even sends the wolf after Ryan and a girl that Darius likes.
However, as much as Darius enjoys sending the Wolf Man after people, he wants to be the Wolf Man himself. After allowing the Wolf Man to scratch him, Darius shoots him with silver bullets. Transforming into a werewolf himself, Darius goes after Ryan, Micki, and Jack. Unfortunately, Darius didn’t consider that film stock is full of silver nitrate. Live by the film, die by the film….
This episode was a case where the premise was pretty interesting but the execution didn’t quite work. The episode mixes in archival footage from The Wolf Man with scenes of Darius’s victims meeting their fate. So, for example, one sees Lon Chaney Jr. turning into the Wolf Man and then the viewer sees The Wolf Man killing one of Darius’s classmates. The problem is that the Friday the 13th werewolf makeup doesn’t really look much like the Wolf Man makeup. Regardless of how darkly lit each scene is, it’s pretty obvious that the Wolf Man from the film is not the same Wolf Man that is doing Darius’s bidding. It not only negates the whole idea behind the cursed antique but it’s also pretty distracting for those of us just trying to watch the show. And, again, it’s a shame because the idea behind this episode was actually pretty clever.
Myself, I’ve always liked the original Wolf Man. Eventually, Larry Talbot got a bit too whiny for his own good and it’s pretty much impossible to buy the idea of the hulking, very American Lon Chaney, Jr. as the son of the sophisticated and very British Claude Rains. But, even with all that in mind, The Wolf Man holds up as a classic American horror film, full of atmosphere and featuring a pretty impressive monster. Friday the 13th deserves some credit for making Darius a Wolf Man fan because The Wolf Man, with its portrait of a man being driven mad by a curse that he cannot control, fits in perfectly with the main idea behind Friday the 13th. Darius, like most of the villains on this show, isn’t really evil until he starts using the camera. Each times he picks up the camera, his actions become progressively worse. Just as Larry Talbott was cursed by the werewolf, Darius is cursed by the camera. Much like a drug addict, Darius falls in love with the camera and he just can’t stop using it. His addiction changes his personality as it becomes all-consuming,. Eventually, it drives him to become the Wolf Man himself.
The episode ends with another cursed antique safely hidden away and Darius joining Larry Talbot in the cold embrace of death. There was a lot of potential to this episode so it’s a shame that it didn’t quite work.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!
This week, Mr. T takes on drug dealers and mad bombers!
Episode 1.5 “The Drop”
(Dir by Allan Kroeker, originally aired on February 8th, 1988)
“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us, “a kid’s life is shattered when he’s arrested for dealing drugs. Amy and I try to pick the pieces, with some unexpected help from Renee!”
This episode begins with one of my favorite cop show clichés. A suspected drug courier is grabbed by two cops. They open the envelope that he was carrying and discover a white powder. One of the cops puts some of the power on her fingers and then sticks her fingers in her mouth.
“High grade crack!” she announced.
Hey, just be happy it wasn’t anthrax!
In this case, the accused courier is a 14 year-old named Norm (Gerry Musgrave), who says that he has no idea what was in the envelopes and he was only carrying them because he answered a classified ad asking for delivery people. However, the prosecution is determined to send a message by trying Norm as an adult! Fortunately, Norm is friends with T.S.’s goddaughter, Renee (Rachael Crawford). Renee brings T.S. and Amy onto the case.
“Loosen up, brother, you already convinced us,” T.S. tells Norm, “Now we just got to the convince the court.”
Norm moves into T.S.’s home, where he is looked after by the gospel-singing Aunt Martha (Jackie Robinson). While Jackie helps Norm get settled in, Renee approaches T.S. and says, “I’ve seen the ads on crack. I know what it does.”
“And you want to help Norm,” T.S. says, “Don’t get involved! People dealing drugs are very dangerous!”
Renee does not take T.S.’s advice and instead, approaches the school drug dealer, Bob Douglas (Jeremy Ratchford). She compliments Bob on his red trans am and Bob invites her to meet up with him at a local disco. Renee’s friends tell her that she might be making a mistake but Renee snaps that she can’t look the other way like everyone else at school.
While Renee skips class so she can meet up with Bob at the most depressing nightclub I’ve ever seen (seriously, there’s just one very sad disco ball hanging over the dance floor), T.S. meets with Fat Sam, who is not fat and who is played by future television director Clark Johnson! (As an actor, Johnson is probably best-known for playing Meldrick Lewis on Homicide and later Gus Johnson on The Wire.)
“Fat Sam,” T.S. says, “you’re the coolest dude I know!”
“As long as the dice keep rolling my way,” Fat Sam replies, “Rumor on the street has it that you’re looking for a specific crack dealer.”
“Be honest with you, Fat Sam,” T.S. replies, “I want to bust all the crack dealers but I want this one first.”
Fat Sam makes some phone calls and tells T.S. that the crack dealer he’s looking for is …. BOB DOUGLAS!
“Thanks, Fat Sam, I owe you one,” T.S. replies.
Meanwhile, Bob Douglas has taken Renee to his loft apartment! When Bob discovers the Renee has been searching his apartment while he was distracted, Bob has a paranoid breakdown, accuses Renee of being a narc, and makes a run for it. Fortunately, T.S. and Amy show up in time to catch him and clear Norm’s name! Yay!
This episode suffered a bit because, for all the build-up, it turned out that all Amy and T.S. needed to do to prove Norm’s innocence was to get Fat Sam to make one phone call. It felt a bit anticlimactic, to say the least. This is a case where the limits of that 30-minute running time really worked against the story the show was trying to tell. That said, Mr. T growling against crack is always enjoyable to watch.
Episode 1.6 “Something In The Air”
(Dir by Allan A. Goldstein, originally aired on February 15th, 1988)
“In this episode,” Mr. T tell us, “a radio DJ is the target of an angry phone caller. While Amy fights to keep the D.J. on the air, I get to make a few calls of my own.”
After radio DJ PJ Reynolds (Lee Curreri) encourages his listeners to “take it to the streets,” one of his listeners blows up a mailbox. The district attorney wants to take Reynolds off the air! Fortunately, Reynold is a client of Amy Taler’s! When Louney (Neil Munro), the smarmy D.A. tries to convince Amy and T.S. to deliver a court summons to the DJ, T.S. replies, “Sorry, brother. We ain’t a delivery service!”
Because there’s only one explosives dealer in all of Canada, Turner confronts his friend Whisperer (Martin Donlevy) and demands to know who he has been selling to. Whisperer says that he sold a timer to a man who said that he wanted to take down Reynolds. “He sounded like someone who was used to getting what he wants.” Somehow, T.S. figures that this means Louney is behind the bombings. Turner needs Louney to call the show again but Reynolds has voluntarily taken himself off the air.
“Let’s talk responsibility,” Turner snaps at the DJ, “That’s the big talk!”
Convined that he has a responsibility, Reynolds goes back on the air and Louney can’t help but call him. Though Louney hangs up before the police can trace the call, T.S. is staking out Louney’s house and, as soon as Louney steps outside with a briefcase bomb, Turner goes after him. It leads to a car chase that ends with T.S. capturing Louney and forcing to Louney to defuse his latest bomb right before it detonates.
A grateful PJ promises that, from now on, he’s going to be “Mr. Mellow” on the air. When Amy says she doesn’t think it’ll happen, PJ says, “You’ll have to tune in and see.”
“Not me, brother,” T.S. replies, “I’m going to stick to my TV …. it’s my favorite medium!”
I liked this episode because it stood up for free speech. Any show that exposes a power-crazed bureaucrat, I’m going to enjoy.
Next week, Amy and T.S. search for …. THE SILVER ANGEL!
Through the Shattered Lens 