Ingvar Eggert Sigurðsson | Through the Shattered Lens

In some other galaxy, a bunch of annoying farmers are living on the moon of Veldt. The evil army of the Motherworld, led by Atticus Noble (Ed Skrein), wants to conquer the moon and steal all of the grain for themselves. A bunch of rebels — including a long-winded former general named Titus (Djimon Hounsou) and painfully dull former solider of the evil empire named Kora (Sofia Boutella) — are on the moon and help the farmers prepare for battle. And then the battle happens and the movie ends and somehow, it takes more than two hours to tell this extremely thin story.

Admittedly, I have not seen the first Rebel Moon but I doubt it makes much of a difference. I’ve seen enough science fiction movies and enough Zack Snyder films that I feel like I can follow this sequel without having seen the first film. In fact, the only question that I have as a result of not seeing the first film is whether the absolutely ludicrous flashback to Kora’s past was lifted from the first film or was it specifically shot for the sequel? The flashback reveals that Kora became a rebel after her mentor attempted to frame her for the murder of a good space emperor and his family. I have to admit that the overwrought, slow motion-heavy flashback did inspire a few chuckles on my part. There was an orchestra playing in the background of the scene and they continued to play, even while the emperor and his family were being murdered. You have to wonder just what exactly the musicians were thinking while all of that was going on.

As for Rebel Moon Part Two, it has some nice visuals but the story is a mess and there are some moments that simply leave you wondering whether to laugh or sigh with frustration. There’s the fact that the fearsome imperial spaceships are apparently fueled by men shoveling coal into a furnace. There’s the fact that fearsome imperial space laser gun takes forever to aim and fire, presumably to give the rebels time to sabotage the ship. (That seems like a pretty big design flaw.) There’s the fact that the evil empire turns out to be so inept that it’s hard to feel like the farmers really needed to spend as much time training as they did. By the end of the film, I felt like I probably could have beaten up the evil empire single-handedly. They just weren’t that impressive.

The main problem is that the farmers were kind of annoying and, even when they finally did fight the evil empire, it was still hard to feel that they still didn’t have any control over their own fate. First, they were being ordered around the bad guys. Then, they were being ordered around by Titus and the rebels. Titus, himself, is one of those annoying characters who can’t ever say anything without turning it into a speech. On the one hand, Titus insists that the farmers don’t have much time to get ready. On the other hand, Titus continually wants to waste what little time they have by giving a monologue. Kora, meanwhile, rarely speaks. This has less to do with her being a strong, silent warrior and instead it’s all about her not really having much of a personality.

The majority of the film’s runtime is taken up with the battle and it’s hard not to notice that for all of the explosions and presumed death, most of the main characters somehow manage to survive. It left me thinking about we were supposed to celebrate the survival of the Daily Planet staff at the end of Man of Steel, despite the fact that thousands of others undoubtedly died while Superman and General Zod were ripping apart Metropolis.

To be clear, there are quite a few Zack Snyder films that I really do like. I am not, by any means, an anti-Snyder person. I thought Sucker Punch was a masterpiece. I admire and respect what he did with Watchmen. I’m not a fan of his work with the DCEU but then again, with the exception of the first Wonder Woman, I’m not really a fan of anyone’s work with the DCEU. The important thing is that I think that, with the right material, Zack Snyder can be brilliant and I love the fact that, even in his lesser films, he still goes all out to bring his vision to life. As a director, Snyder is not scared to go over-the-top with sweeping, dramatic moments. He’s someone who understands that movies — especially action films — should be big. But Rebel Moon 2 never really works. If anything, it sometimes feels like Snyder on auto pilot. I’ll always be willing to take a chance of Zack Snyder but I hope that doesn’t mean having to watch Rebel Moon 3.

If I wasn’t already scared of heights, I definitely would be after seeing Everest.

Based on a true story, Everest tells the story of two expeditions attempting to climb to the top of Mt. Everest. One expedition is led by a New Zealander named Rob Hall (Jason Clarke), an experienced climber who, we’re told, pretty much invented the entire industry of taking commercial expeditions up to the top of Mt. Everest. Criticized by some for being a “hand holder” who gets too emotionally involved with his clients and, as a result, cheapens the Everest “experience” by helping weaker clients make it to the top of the summit, Rob is married to a fellow climber, Jan Arnold (Keira Knightley). While Rob tries to lead his clients to the highest place on Earth, the pregnant Jan stays home and waits for his return.

The other expedition is led by Scott Fischer (Jake Gyllenhaal). Scott and Rob are friendly rivals, with Scott taking a much more hands off approach to his clients. (It’s not a coincidence that Rob’s company is called Adventure Consultants while Scott works for Mountain Madness.)

Everest details what happens when the two expeditions are both caught in a sudden blizzard and find themselves trapped at the top of Everest. The rest of the film is about the attempts of a stranded few to make it back to civilization. A few make it, though not without suffering a good deal of pain and, in one particularly case, sacrificing a few body parts as a result. Tragically, several others fall victim to the whims of nature, some dying of hypothermia while others, hallucinating from the lack of oxygen, literally walk off the side of the mountain.

Everest is one of those films where men die tragically but we’re supposed to find some sort of comfort from the fact that they died doing what they loved. To be honest, I usually have a hard time buying into these type of narratives. For instance, I love shopping but I wouldn’t expect anyone to be happy for me if I died while looking for a new purse. (In fact, that’d probably upset me if not for the fact that I’d be too dead to know about it.) At the same time, guys seems to love movies like this and I think, in the future, Everest will probably be remembered for being the epitome of a guy movie.

And that’s not meant to be a criticism on my part! Everest does what it does with a lot of skill and confidence. It’s an exciting film that, once the disaster hits, will leave you breathless. And yes, at the end of the film, I did shed a tear or two. Narratively, there’s really not a surprising moment to be found in the entire film. I went into Everest not even knowing it was a true story and I was still able to guess who would survive and who would not. But Everest‘s amazing visuals make up for the predictable narrative. The term “visually stunning” is probably overused (especially by me!) but Everest is truly a visually stunning film. For someone like me — who has asthma, a huge fear of heights, and who lives in North Texas (where, regardless of what you may see in the movies, the land is remarkably flat) — Everest is probably as close as I’ll ever get to climbing a mountain.

I should also mention that it never ceases to amaze me that Josh Brolin was born in Santa Monica, California because, on the basis of this film and No Country For Old Men, he is one of the most convincing Texans to appear in the movies. In this film, he plays Beck Weathers, a Dallas doctor who is a member of Rob’s expedition team. Usually, of course, if a Texan (especially one who is specifically identified as being a Republican, as Beck is at the beginning of a film) shows up in a movie, you know he’s going to end up being the villain. Fortunately, Everest was based on a true story and, as a result, Beck turned out to be one of the most compelling characters in the film. (If you know the story behind the film, you already knew that. However, I went into Everest blind.) Josh Brolin brings a lot of strength to his role and to the film overall.

Everest may predictable but it’s still an exciting film. Make sure that you have someone beside you to whom you can hold on and that you see it in 3D!