Tag Archives: Horrorthon

4 Shots From 4 Films: Chopping Mall, Demons 2, The Fly, The Hitcher

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

This October, we’re using 4 Shots From 4 Films to look at some of the best years that horror has to offer!

4 Shots From 4 1986 Horror Films

Chopping Mall (1986, dir by Jim Wynorski)

Demons 2 (1986, dir by Lamberto Bava)

The Fly (1986, dir. by David Cronenberg)

The Hitcher (1986, dir by Robert Harmon)

6 Haunted Locations That Deserve A Film Of Their Very Own

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

At last count, there have been an estimated 24 films made about the Amityville Haunting.

TWENTY-FOUR!  From the release of the first movie in 1979 to 2018’s The Amityville Murders, filmmakers have not been able to get enough of the Amityville Haunting.

But you know what?  That house in Amityville isn’t the only place that’s reputed to be haunted.  There are supposedly haunted locations all across the country that haven’t gotten half the attention of the Amityville Hoax!  Here are 6 haunted locations that I think deserve 24 films of their own.  I sincerely hope that I’ll get to review some of them for 2021’s horrorthon!

1. The District of Columbia

There are so many places in Washington D.C. that are reputed to be haunted that it’s difficult to narrow them down.  Abraham Lincoln is said to wander the hallways of the White House and supposedly, you can sometimes hear Thomas Jefferson playing his violin.  The ghost of murdered actor John McCullough is said to haunt the National Theater while literally thousands of dead politicians are said to still be hanging out in the the Capitol.  So, instead of narrowing it down to one location, how about one big movie about all the ghosts in D.C?  Maybe it could be an installment in the Ghostbusters franchise.  Seriously, it’s time to clean up Washington!

2. Cherry Hill (Albany, New York)

This stately farm in New York has a long, distinguished, and sometimes sordid history.  In 1827, a resident at the farm — John Whipple — was shot and killed.  Accused of his murder was his socially prominent wife, Elsie, and her lover, a drifter-turned-handyman named Jesse Strang.  Strang was convicted of the murder and sentenced to hang, though not before the judge called him “a serpent.”  In a nationally-watched trial, Elsie was acquitted of being an accomplice.  While Jesse was publicly hanged (the last such public hanging in Albany’s history), Elsie returned to Cherry Hill and lived out the rest of her days in peace.  The ghosts of Jesse, Elsie, and John are said to still haunt Cherry Hill.  To be honest, this one would make a good movie even if you totally left out the ghosts.

3. Burlington County Prison (New Jersey)

Who doesn’t love a good prison haunting?  Burlington County Prison operated from 1811 through 1965.  At the time that it closed, it was the oldest operating prison in the United States.  154 years is a lot of time to collect a host of spirits.  Reportedly, the third floor of Burlington County Prison is full of the ghosts of prisoners.  Meanwhile, a ghost of a tall man dressed in a correction officer’s uniform has also been spotted, making his rounds.  Just imagine if all those ghosts got free!

4. Dead Women Crossing, Oklahoma

Seriously, that’s the name of the place!  This unincorporated community was named after the murder of Kate Dewitt James, a local school teacher who, after having gone missing in 1905, was found dead and decapitated near Deer Creek.  When Kate went missing, she was traveling with her 14-month old daughter.  Local legend had it that, before her disappearance, Kate had spent the night at the home of a local prostitute named Fannie Norton.  A detective later discovered that the baby was being looked after by two of Norton’s acquaintances.  When the baby was rescued, she was discovered to be healthy but her clothes were covered in blood.  When Norton was questioned by police, she committed suicide.  Kate’s murder was never officially solved but it’s said that her ghost can sometimes be seen walking along the Creek, searching for her baby.

5. White House Tavern (Newport,Rode Island)

White House Tavern was constructed before 1673 and is thought to be the oldest operating tavern in the United States.  It’s said that, in the 1720s, a well-dressed man checked into the tavern with a companion.  The next morning, the man was found dead next to the fireplace and his companion had vanished.  Apparently, his ghost still appears near the fireplace, where he’ll often ask the living to help solve the mystery of his death.  To me, this sounds like the makings of great mix of crime and horror.  Or maybe you could cast Will Ferrell as the ghost and turn it into a comedy.  Either way, this is a film waiting to be made.

6. Houston Zoo (Houston, Texas)

The Houston Zoo is said to be haunted by it’s first zookeeper, Hans Nagel.  Apparently, he was shot in 1941 while spying on teenagers in a parked car.  In life, Hans was a flamboyant cowboy who wowed the crowds by wrestling pythons.  In death, it’s said that his spirit still wanders around the zoo.  Personally, I think Matthew McConaughey was born to star in this movie.

Horror Film Review: Knock Knock (dir by Eli Roth)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

 

Knock Knock starts out as a satire of vapid male fantasies before then becoming a vapid male fantasy.  It then transforms itself into a satire of vapid torture porn before then becoming vapid torture porn.  And, in the end, your main response will probably be, “Eh, who cares?”

Keanu Reeves plays Evan, an architect who has a nice house, a nice family, and a nice dog.  He also has an injured shoulder, which leads to him staying home while his wife and children spend the weekend at the beach.  Evan is looking forward to having the house to himself, especially when it starts to rain.  I mean, who wants to be at the beach in the middle of storm, right?  That night, Evan is relaxing in his home when he hears someone at the door.

Knock knock.

Two young women, Genesis (Lorenza Izzo) and Bel (Anna de Armas), are standing on his front porch, soaked.  They tell him that they’re looking for the address of a party and that their phone has gotten wet and could they please come inside for just a few minutes and get online and find the correct address?  Evan agrees.  Genesis and Bel enter the house.  They tell him that they’re models.  They tell him about their girlfriends.  They talk about their sex lives and Evan responds with a goofy smile.  They ask if they can take off all their clothes and toss them in a dryer.  Evan agrees.  “Uh, I’ve got some robes,” Evan says and it’s a funny line because Keanu Reeves sounds sincerely bewildered when he says it.

Anyway, you can tell where this leading.  It starts with a threesome and then it ends with the house getting destroyed and people getting buried alive and, to be honest, it gets a little bit boring after a while.  Perhaps if Evan was truly a loathsome character, as opposed to just an awkward Keanu Reeves, there would be some sort of joy in watching Genesis and Bel taunt him while destroying his home and destroying his wife’s artwork but instead it just amount to a bunch of repetitive taunting.  Despite all of their talk about how Evan represents the 1% and how quickly Evan was willing to cheat on his wife and potentially destroy his family, Genesis and Bel don’t come across as being revolutionaries or avenging angels.  Instead, they just seem to be overcaffeinated with no real reason for doing what they’re doing beyond the fact that there wouldn’t be a movie otherwise.

Keanu Reeves gives a strange performance in this film.  At the start of the film, he actually seems like he’s perfectly cast.  When Genesis and Bel first show up at his door, there’s some genuine wit to found in his confused reaction to the two girls.  But then, as the film progresses, Reeves has to start pretending to be desperate and that’s never really been his strong suit.  Perhaps because he’s trying to keep up with the hyper performances of Lorenza Izzo and Anna de Armas, Reeves starts to shout every single line and it just becomes rather humorous before then becoming rather dull.  “STOP IT!  I COULD GO DEAF!”  he shouts when the girls force him to listen to loud music.  Later, when he curses the girls, he sounds like a cartoon character talking about how much he hates Bugs Bunny.  I like Keanu Reeves but he’s just not a very good shouter.

I’ve defended Eli Roth in the past and I imagine that I’ll do so again in the future but it’s best to keep the door closed on Knock Knock.

Horror on the Lens: Robot Monster (dir by Phil Tucker)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s horror film is a true classic of its kind, the 1953 science fiction epic Robot Monster.

Now, I should admit that this is not the first time that I’ve shared Robot Monster in October.  I share it every year and, every year, YouTube seems to pull the video down in November.  That sucks because Robot Monster is one of those weird films that everyone should see.  So, I’m going to share it again.  And, hopefully, YouTube will let the video stay up for a while.

As for what Robot Monster is about…

What happens with the Earth is attacked by aliens?  Well, first off, dinosaurs come back to life.  All of humanity is killed, except for one annoying family.  Finally, the fearsome Ro-Man is sent down to the planet to make sure that it’s ready for colonization.  (Or something like that.  To be honest, Ro-Man’s exact goal remains a bit vague.)

Why is Ro-Man so fearsome?  Well, he lives in a cave for one thing.  He also owns a bubble machine.  And finally, perhaps most horrifically, he’s a gorilla wearing a diver’s helmet.  However, Ro-Man is not just a one-dimensional bad guy.  No, he actually gets to have a monologue about halfway through the film in which he considers the existential issues inherent in being a gorilla wearing a diver’s helmet.

Can humanity defeat Ro-Man?  Will Ro-Man ever get his intergalactic supervisor to appreciate him?  And finally, why are the dinosaurs there?

All of those questions, and more, are cheerfully left unanswered but that’s a large part of this odd, zero-budget film’s considerable charm.  If you’ve never seen it before, you owe it to yourself to set aside an hour and two minutes in order to watch it.

You’ve never see anything like it before.

Enjoy!

Music Video of the Day: We are Water by HEALTH (2010, dir by Eric Wareheim)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

This video starts out on a very disturbing note.  Thanks to slasher films, we’re all used to seeing people being chased through the woods by a machete or knife-wielding maniac.  However, by putting this particular maniac in his underwear, this video makes the subtext clear.

But then, just when the video is reaching it’s darkest point, things get empowering thanks to a well-aimed pointed stick.  I can’t tell you how many slasher movies I’ve watched and wondered, “Why don’t you just kick him in the balls when he approaches?”  Well, this video features a lot more than kicking.

And then the wig comes off and you can interpret that however you want.  The most important thing is that the big fat perv got stabbed in the dick.

Enjoy!

(Yes, this video was directed by Eric of Tim and Eric fame.)

Horror on TV: The Veil Episode 5 “The Crystal Ball” (dir by Herbert L. Strock)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

On tonight’s episode of The Veil, a writer (Booth Colman) is heartbroken when his lover, Marie (Roxane Berard) leaves him so that she can marry his boss (played by Leo Penn, father of Sean).  To help soften the blow, Marie gives the writer a parting gift, an ornamental crystal ball.  However, it doesn’t turn out to be much of a gift because the only thing that the writer can see in the ball are visions of Marie cheating on her husband!  Boris Karloff both hosts and plays the role of the writer’s uncle.

This is one of the lesser episodes of The Veil but it still has its entertaining moments, largely due to the performances of Roxane Berard and, of course, Boris Karloff.  I guess my main problem with this episode is that it doesn’t so much end as it just stops.  I was waiting for one big twist but …. oh well!  Listen, it’s got Boris Karloff in it and you should always watch as much Karloff as possible in October!

Enjoy!

The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: Broken Ghost (dir by Richard Gray)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Odd film, Broken Ghost.

It opens with two bikers slowly approaching a big house that appears to be sitting out in the middle of nowhere.  They enter the house, we hear gunshots, and then suddenly….

….a new family is moving into the house!  The Day family is full of secrets, some of which we learn about immediately and others of which are only gradually revealed.  Samantha Day (Scottie Thompson) has recently bought the local drug store and is frustrated by the fact that her husband, William (Nick Farnell), is impotent.  William is a moody artist who is struggling to get over an addiction to pornography.  And then there’s their teenage daughter, who insists on being called Imogen (Autry Haydon-Wilson) even though her real name is Grace.  Or maybe she now wants to be Grace and her original name was Imogen.  To be honest, it’s hard to keep track because everyone refers to her by both names throughout the film.  We do know that Samantha occasionally calls her the wrong name because everyone yells at her about it.

Anyway, Imogen is the reason that the Days have moved to a new house.  Apparently, something bad happened at Imogen’s old school and, as a result, she’s changed her name and her hair.  Imogen is an interesting character and Autry Haydon-Wilson does a good job playing her.  Imogen’s moods swing back and forth, between depression and angry, insecurity and defiance.  You’re on her side as soon as you meet her.  Imogen suffers from a severe vision impairment and the film occasionally shows the world through her eyes.  It’s a uniquely threatening place.

As soon as the Days move into their new home, strange things start to happen.  The television turns on at random and it’s usually showing porn.  Imogen starts to hear a voice calling her name.  Samantha finds herself tempted to run off with every strange man that she sees at the local bar.  William, at least, finds himself artistically inspired.  When his wife and his daughter point out to him that the house is obviously haunted and that it might be a good idea to move somewhere else, William replies, “I’m doing my best work!”

It turns out that the house has quite a history, one that goes beyond those two bikers that we saw earlier.  The house was previously owned by another artist, one who murdered his wife and his children.  When William finds the murderer’s artwork, he starts to slip even further into insanity.  Could it be that William is possessed by the murder’s malevolent spirit or is there a twist lurking in the shadows….

Yes, there is a twist.  I won’t spoil it, beyond saying that it was a pretty bad twist and that it didn’t really make any sense.  In fact, it made me want to throw something at the television.  But, oh well.  I guess we should be happy that Broken Ghost tried to do something unexpected.  Still, as a result of the twist, the movie ends on a rather sour note and it’s hard not to feel that one member of the Day household has been excessively punished while another member of the family has basically gotten away with acting like a complete asshole.  And that’s all I’ll say about that.

So, it’s a flawed film that doesn’t really work but there are still some effective moments.  As I said, Imogen’s an interesting character and I almost wish that the film had dropped all of the supernatural mystery stuff and instead just focused on her character and her struggle to move on with her life.  Say what you will about the script but the cinematography is gorgeous and full of atmosphere.  There’s good moments all through Broken Ghost.

It’s just a shame about that ending.

Horror Scenes That I Love: The Painting Comes To Life In The Conjuring 2

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Obviously, you don’t have to be from a Catholic background to find this scene from The Conjuring 2 totally creepy but it definitely helps.

I remember watching this scene in the theaters.  As soon as Vera Farimga stepped into that room, I was like, “Uhmm …. see the painting?  Uh, there’s a painting behind you.  You might want to turn around and look at the painting….”

I really liked The Conjuring 2 and the first Conjuring as well.  I even liked the Annabelle films.  But one thing that I’ve always noticed about haunted house films is that nobody ever just turns on the lights.  It always seems to me like so much trouble could be avoided just by turning on the lights in every room and leaving them on.  Scary things only seem to happen in the dark.

Anyway, enough of my rambling!  Here’s today’s scene:

Book Review: The Hell Candidate by Graham Masterton

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

First off, ignore the fact that the cover for the 1981 first edition of The Hell Candidate credits Thomas Luke as being the author.  This book was written by Graham Masterton and, with its combination of sex, violence, and transgressive political commentary, it’s easily identifiable as being a Masterton novel.  Why was it published under the name Thomas Luke?  Perhaps, at the time it was published, it was felt that the British Graham Masterton wasn’t a well-enough known name in the United States.  Or maybe it was felt that the book would prove to be so controversial that it had to be published under a pseudonym.  Who knows?  All subsequent editions of the book have credited Graham Masterton as being the author so, obviously, it’s no longer controversial (or even outlandish) to suggest that an American politician might be in league with the devil.

The Hell Candidate is told from the point of view of Jack Russo, a PR man who has been hired to work on the presidential campaign of Hunter Peal.  At the start of his campaign, Peal is a calm and rather even-handed candidate, advocating common sense solutions for America’s problems.  Everyone acknowledges that he’s a good man but no one gives him a chance of actually winning his party’s nomination.  That all changes when Peal’s personality suddenly changes, seemingly overnight.  Suddenly, Peal is loud, profane, and angry, a candidate who promises to destroy America’s enemies and make everyone at home rich.  His managers worry that Peal has gone insane and prepare themselves for a disaster on the campaign trail.

Instead, it turns out that the voters really like this new, profane and insane Hunter Peal.  No matter what Peal says or does, the crowds love him and soon, Hunter Peal is moving into the White House.  Is it because the people truly love this aspiring dictator or is it because Hunter Peal made a deal with the devil?

The Hell Candidate is an effective novel, precisely because we know that most politicians would gladly make a deal with the devil if it meant a chance to set up residence in the White House.  Indeed, what was presumably meant to be shocking when this novel was written is rather common place now.  I mean, seriously — profanity on the campaign trail?  Oh my!  Bragging about your ability to destroy your enemies?  Horror!  Cynically abusing the power of the office of the presidency?  OH MY GOD!  What makes the book memorable, though, is its suggestion that the voters don’t necessarily need to be influenced by the devil to vote for a candidate like Hunter Peal.  Instead, the book suggests that a dictator is secretly what most voters desire.

In the end, the book suggests that the Vatican might be able to help us deal with a Satanically-possessed president but who can save the American people from themselves?