Tag Archives: Horror

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.12 “Museum Hearts”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

Wow, it’s been more than a little while since I last reviewed an episode of Monsters!  Well, it’s time to get back to it!  Like most anthology series, Monsters can be frustratingly uneven but occasionally, the viewer does get lucky with a really good episode.  Take this week, for instance….

Episode 2.12 “Museum Hearts”

(Dir by Theodore Gershuny, originally aired on January 7th, 1990)

Cheryl (Louise Roberts) comes to the natural history museum to see her husband, Danny (Patrick Breen).  Danny, one of the museum’s curators, said he would be working late in the basement but, as Cheryl discovers, Danny is actually in basement cheating on her with Edwina (Sarah Trigger).

However, the three of them have an even bigger problem that Danny’s infidelity.  While they’re busy arguing in the basement, the museum closes and all the doors are locked.  Danny’s suggestion is that they spend the night having a threesome.  Cheryl’s suggestion is that Danny find a way to get them out of the basement.

Attempting to reach a high window, dumbass Danny climbs on top of ancient coffin.  His foot goes through the wood.  Danny not only cuts open his ankle but he also steps on the mummified remains of Cerridwen (Pamela Dean Kelly), a Druid priestess.  His foot goes through her chest, revealing her heart.  Danny decides that it would be a good idea to grab the heart and take it as a souvenir.  Cerridwen, who is not quite dead, is not happy about that idea.

At first, Danny, Cheryl, and Edwina are terrified about the idea of being stuck with a mummy.  But it turns out that Cerridwen hates cheating men like Danny.  Cheryl and Edwina proceed to sacrifice Danny, allowing Cerridwen to revert back to her youthful appearance.  The three women leave the museum together.

So far, Monsters has been a rather uneven series but I really liked this episode.  A lot of that is due to Theodore Gershuny’s direction.  Gershuny also directed one of my favorite grindhouse films, Silent Night Bloody Night.  Just as in that film, Gershuny creates an ominous and dream-like atmosphere that goes a long way towards making up for the fact that episode’s story is rather predictable.  Fortunately, Danny is such a sleaze that it’s impossible not take some joy out of him getting his macabre comeuppance.  I liked the fact that all three of the women worked together rather than allowing Danny to turn them against one another.  Instead of getting mad at Edwina, Cheryl put the blame for Danny’s infidelity right where it belonged, on Danny.

This was a good episode with a good message.  Don’t mess around in the basement of a museum because you never know what you might find down there.  And, for the love of God, don’t step on a mummy’s chest.

Live Tweet Alert: Join #ScarySocial for Thinner!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 9 pm et, Tim Buntley will be hosting #ScarySocial!  The movie?  1996’s Thinner!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  I’ll be there tweeting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Thinner is available on Prime!

See you there!

Live Tweet Alert: Watch Godzilla, Mothra, And King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack! With #ScarySocial!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, I will be hosting 2001’s Godzilla, Mothra, And King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  The film is available on Prime!  I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Live Tweet Alert: Watch Black Sunday With #ScarySocial!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, Deanna Dawn will be hosting 1960’s Black Sunday, directed by Mario Bava!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  The film is available on Prime, Tubi, and a host of other streaming sites!  I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

The Films of 2024: Roadkill (dir by Warren Fast)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Below, you’ll find the trailer for a film called Roadkill.  Before watching, please be aware that the trailer pretty much spoils all of the film’s plot twists.

On a humid stretch of road that winds through the Florida bayous, a long-haired man with a beard (played by Ryan Knudson) hitchhikes and deals with traumatic flashbacks to his past.  He’s given a ride by a young woman (Caitlin Carmichael) who is driving a red Nova.  At first, most viewers will probably assume that the Driver is in danger from the Hitchhiker.  However, it soon turns out that the Driver has some issues of her own.

And yes, this is the type of film where the two main characters do not actually have names.

As far as violent, low-budget road movies are concerned, Roadkill is …. well, it’s okay.  It’s a film that wears its influences — films like Freeway, First Blood, and No Country For Old Men — on its sleeve and the plots twists are never quite as surprising as the film seems to think that they are.  At the same time, the film does a good job of capturing the atmosphere of the Florida backroads and both Ryan Knudson and Caitlin Carmichael do a good-enough job of bringing their characters to life.  There’s even a few shots of that red Nova driving down the highway at night that are downright good.  The film’s pace is occasionally a bit too deliberate and there’s a chase scene where it’s obvious that neither one of the cars involved are going above the speed limit.  But the final 30 minutes are nicely executed and the film’s ending does stick with you.  Roadkill is the epitome of the flawed film that doesn’t quite work but which still has enough effective moments to remain watchable.

Horror fans will be happy to see Danielle Harris, even if her role is a small one.  Harris plays Allison, a cheerful waitress at a diner.  (A few years ago, Harris probably would have been playing The Driver.)  Harris is likable, even if the role is a bit of a throw-away part.  At least she gets to wear a cute uniform.  Still, watching the film, you can’t help but wonder how a diner sitting in the most isolated spot of the Florida bayous manages to stay in business or why Allison is still working at the diner even after it becomes obvious that the diner’s owner is no longer going to be able to pay her salary.

I guess the main lesson of Roadkill is that you really shouldn’t hitchhike.  But, to be honest, that’s a lesson that everyone should already know.  You should not need a movie to know better than to accept rides from strangers.  I think the more important lesson is the one that becomes obvious during the final 30 minutes, which is that it’s better to wear shorts than jeans in the bayou.  The bayou can be a dangerous place, though we all know that they worst bayou is bayouself.  Thank you, I’ll be here all week and every week afterwards.

You can view Roadkill on Tubi and YouTube.  To quote the poet Bluto, it don’t cost nothing.

Live Tweet Alert: Watch 10 To Midnight With #ScarySocial!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, I will be hosting 1983’s Ten To Midnight, starring Charles Bronson!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  The film is available on Prime, Tubi, and a host of other streaming sites!  I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Live Tweet Alert: Watch Swamp Thing With #ScarySocial!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, Deanna Dawn will be hosting 1982’s Swamp Thing, directed by Wes Craven!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  The film is available on Prime, Tubi, and a host of other streaming sites!  I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Live Tweet Alert: Watch Destroy All Monsters With #ScarySocial!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, I will be hosting 1968’s Destroy All Monsters, starring Godzilla!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  The film is available on Prime, Tubi, and a host of other streaming sites!  I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.7 “Wax Magic”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, Ryan and Jack go to a carnival!

Episode 2.7 “Wax Magic”

(Dir by William Fruet, originally aired on November 14th, 1988)

Unable to get a date, loser Ryan convinces Jack to go to a traveling carnival with him.

(Okay, maybe “loser” is a bit harsh.  I like Ryan and I think John D. LeMay did a pretty good playing him on the series but seriously, in this episode, Ryan is oddly whiny.  Then again, I would think that Ryan would be more careful about trying to date anyone, considering that everyone with whom he falls in love either dies or is his cousin, Micki.)

Ryan and Jack discover that the carnival has been rocked by a series of decapitations.  Ryan suspects that it might involve the creepy wax figure exhibit that is run by Aldwin Chase (Angelo Rizacos).  Aldwin is incredibly jealous of but also very abusive towards his wife, Marie (Susannah Hoffman).  Whenever someone shows too much interest in Marie, they are visited by a wax figure of Lizzie Borden.  Guess who Ryan develops an obviously doomed crush on?

This was an effectively creepy episode and, with its scenes of carnival goers losing their heads, it felt like it had more in common with the Friday the 13th movies than some of the other episodes.  Towards the end of the episode, Jack and Ryan are actually attacked in the antique shop and it’s actually a bit jolting, a reminder that nowhere is safe.  The show ends with a twist about Marie that’s not particularly but it’s effective nonetheless.  In the role of Jack, Chris Wiggins gets to deliver another one of his monologues about the nature of evil and, as always, he pulls it off wonderfully.

That said, Micki is not in this episode and that’s unfortunate.  Micki is the character to whom I relate, mostly because we’re both redheads with big boobs and, therefore, we share the same struggle.  There have been plenty of episode where Jack was said to be off on another mission and, in those cases, that actually raised the stakes because it left Micki and Ryan without their mentor.  But not having Micki present just felt weird.  Unlike Ryan, I guess she was actually able to get a date.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters “Half as Old as Time”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Monsters asks us, “How far would you go to be immortal?”

Episode 2.11 “Half as Old as Time”

(Dir by Christopher Todd, originally aired on December 17th, 1989)

Dying of a brain tumor, elderly archeologist Dr. Miner (played by Leif Garrett, under a ton of old age makeup) visits his daughter Jacqueline (Valerie Wildman).  Jacqueline, who is also an archeologist, lives in the desert and, from the start, it’s obvious that she and her father have a strained relationship.  However, when Dr. Miner begs her to take him to the secret location of a “fountain of youth,” that she’s spent her career searching for, Jacqueline agrees.

Sitting underneath the statue of an evil-looking serpent and overseen by a Native American named Saspondo (Nick Ramus), the fountain does indeed make Dr. Miner young again.  Unfortunately, it only lasts for a short time.  Saspondo explains that if Dr. Miner wants to be both permanently young and immortal, he has to be prepared to sacrifice a family member and let their blood mix with the water.

Oh, hi, Jacqueline!

Dr. Miner doesn’t waste any time killing his daughter and afterwards, he doesn’t seem to be particularly upset over his crime.  (“She was always a disappointment to me.”)  Saspondo, however, reveals that Dr. Miner should have asked more questions about what immortality meant before killing his daughter and then drinking from the fountain.  Dr. Miner may be forever young but he’s also forever be trapped in front of the fountain….

The main joke here, of course, is the casting of former teen idol Leif Garrett as an old man.  Interestingly enough, he’s more convincing when he’s playing old than when he is later allowed to be his then-young self.  When he’s wearing the makeup and walking with a shuffled gait, Garrett has a character to play.  When he loses all of that, he sleepwalks through the rest of his performance.  Nick Ramus, however, gives an excellent performance all-around as the enigmatic keeper of the fountain.

This episode was uneven but effective.  The pace was occasionally a bit slow but the murder of Jacqueline was shockingly brutal, even by the standards of this show.  If nothing else, it showed who Dr. Miner truly was and it made his eventual comeuppance especially satisfying.  Flaws aside, this episode worked.