Live Tweet Alert: Watch There’s Something Wrong With The Children with #ScarySocial


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, Deanna Dawn will be hosting 2023’s There’s Something Wrong With The Children!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  The film is available on Prime.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Mini Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.5 “Symphony in B Sharp”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

Hi, everyone!  I sprained my wrist yesterday and today, it still hurts to type so, just as with T and T, today’s review is going to be a quick one.  You might even call it a mini-review!

Episode 2.5 “Symphony In B Sharp”

(Dir by Francis Delia, originally aired on October 31st, 1988)

Oh, Ryan!

You would think that, by this point, Ryan would know better than to fall in love with anyone, seeing as how he had to leave one girlfriend behind in a Mennonite village and he lost another girlfriend to an insane news anchorman.  Add to that, Ryan has also seen Micki repeatedly lose the people with which she has fallen in love.  But, once again, the episode finds Ryan falling in love.

This time, his lover is Leslie Reins (Ely Pouget), who plays violin in the local symphony.  Her former boyfriend, Janos Korda (James Russo), was believed to have been killed in a car accident but instead, he’s alive but terribly scarred.  He hangs out in the rafters and the basement of the symphony hall and kills anyone who get too close to Leslie.  He has a cursed violin that is slowly healing his disfigured appearance in return for Janos using a sharpened bow to kill people.  Janos’s newest target is Ryan.

Yep, it’s Phantom of the Opera all over again, with Leslie Reins’s last name deliberately invoking the name of a past actor who played the Phantom, Claude Rains.  It’s not a bad episode.  There’s plenty of atmosphere and James Russo makes for a good villain.  That said, the cursed antique is not that interesting and the whole episode leans a bit too much into the Phantom of the Opera story.  It was a bit predictable, right down Janos accidentally killing Leslie before taking his own life and Ryan ending yet another episode in tears, with a concerned Jack and Micki watching from a distance.  Ryan listens to a recording of Leslie playing her violin and swears that he’ll never fall in love again.  We know that’s not true, Ryan.  I guess we should be glad that Ryan is no longer looking to hook up with his cousin but still, it’s hard to feel that the guy just can’t get a break!

Next week, hopefully, things will look up for Ryan.  (It would seem that they certainly couldn’t get any worse.)  We’ll find out soon enough.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.9 “Reaper”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, on Monsters, an elderly man tries to make a deal with Death.  Because if there’s anyone you can trust to honor a verbal agreement, it’s the Grim Reaper.

Episode 2.9 “Reaper”

(Dir by John Lafia, originally aired on November 26th, 1989)

Robert Ross (George D. Wallace) is a bitter old man who is living out his final days in a retirement home.  Not even the sight of one of his neighbors celebrating her 103rd birthday can cheer up the angry Robert.  However, things look up for Robert when he meets a new nurse, an incurable optimist named Sheila (Barbara Billingsley).  Robert falls in love with her and Sheila seems to be falling in love with Robert as well.

What a terrible time for Dr. Morton (Curt Lowens) to show up in the middle of the night!  Now, it should be understood that Dr. Morton is not actually a doctor nor is he human.  Instead, he’s the Grim Reaper and he’s come to collect Robert’s life.  Robert begs for a few more years and offers to do anything to live.  The Grim Reaper makes a deal with Robert.  If Robert kills three people, the Reaper will allow him to live.  The requirement is that Robert has to personally kill each person and that he has to kill when the Reaper tells him to.  At the same time, Robert can pick his victims.  The Reaper is not particular about who he takes away with him.

Robert agrees and soon discovers that murder isn’t as difficult as he thought.  After the first two murders, Robert is able to rise from his wheelchair and he starts to move around with a spring in his step.  He’s ready to ask Sheila to marry him but then he spots Dr. Morton in the nursing home.  Dr. Morton explains that it is Sheila’s time, unless Robert can send him a third life.  Robert agrees but it turns out that he’s not the only one at the nursing home who has made a deal with the Grim Reaper.  Afterall, how else do you think that woman has lived to be a 103?

Especially when compared to last week’s disappointing episode, Reaper is superior episode of Monsters.  Along with telling an interesting story (and, for once, this is an episode that feels neither rushed nor padded for length), this episode featured strong performances from Wallace, Billingsley, and Lowens and a memorable villain in the form of the skull-faced Grim Reaper.  Director John Lafia does a good job of creating and maintaining a properly ominous and creepy atmosphere.  The image of the Grim Reaper standing in the dark hallway of the nursing home is genuinely unsettling.  This was a good and effective episode that ended with a properly macabre twist.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 2.5 “Circle of Fear”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, something is stalking Ryan!

Episode 2.5 “Circle of Fear”

(Dir by Bruce Kessler, originally aired on October 27th, 1996)

This episode opens with a blonde woman performing some sort of strange, witchcraft-related ceremony in the middle of the woods, spinning around until she apparently dies.  The next morning, Diamont Teague approaches Mitch and asks him to head out to the woods and investigate the scene of the ceremony.

As I watched Diamont talk to Mitch about witchcraft, it occurred to me that the Baywatch Nights format change that occurred between the end of season one and the start of season two led to some unanswered questions.  For one thing, where has Garner disappeared to?  Are Mitch and Ryan still private eyes or are they now just hobbyists?  (We haven’t seen them in their office since this season started.)  Even more importantly, who is Diamont and how does Mitch know him?  Why is Diamont continually asking Mitch and Ryan to investigate every strange thing that happens in Malibu?  Does Diamont work for the government or is he just someone who is obsessed with the paranormal?  Where does Diamont live?  Where is Diamont from?  Why can’t Diamont ever investigate anything on his own?  Why does he always tell Mitch and Ryan to do it?  At the start of the season, Diamont pretty much just showed up out-of-nowhere but everyone on the show acts as if he’s been around forever.

At the site of the witchy ceremony, Mitch and Ryan find the remains of an altar and a burned book.  A trip down to the local occult library reveals that the book is an ancient magical text.  Ryan buys an edition of the book and she takes it home with her.  Sitting alone in her new apartment, Ryan finds herself mysteriously compelled to read aloud from the book.  That turns out to be a mistake as Ryan soon finds herself being followed by a spirt that apparently wants to possess her and causes harm to come to anyone who annoys her, including a flirtatious waiter and an obnoxious plumber.  Can Mitch and Ryan drive the spirit out of Ryan’s apartment without Ryan losing her security deposit?

I enjoyed the episode, even if I’m still not quite clear on why Mitch and Ryan are taking orders from Diamont.  After being underutilized over the past few episodes, Angie Harmon steps into the spotlight here and she gives a strong performance, especially in the scenes where she’s first realizing that an unseen spirit is manipulating her and her actions.  Harmon’s down-to-earth style provides a nice match to David Hasselhoff’s more “dramatic” style of acting.  (Indeed, there’s a part of me that thinks this series would have lasted longer if it had dropped the Baywatch connection and instead focused on Angie Harmon solving mysteries and battling ghosts, goblins, and ghouls.)  Baywatch Nights seemed to really hit its stride with this episode.

Next week, Mitch and Ryan travel into the past!

The Films of 2024: The Mummy Murders (dir by Colin Bressler)


Alexis (Leila Anastasia Scott) is a San Antonio news reporter who, while sitting in a small cafe, is approached by a man named Joe (Jason Scarbrough).

At first, Joe just seems like an appreciative fan of Alexis’s reporting, albeit a bit of creepy and pushy one.  But it’s only after Joe sits down, removes his glasses, and starts to speak about his life to Alexis that the truth becomes apparent.  Joe says that he’s the serial killer who has been terrorizing San Antonio for the past few months.  His trademark is that he mummifies the bodies of his victims.  At first skeptical and then increasingly disturbed, Alexis listens as Joe calmly discusses his life, from his childhood as the son of a mortician to his time in the Army, to his current life as a killer.  As the conversation continues, it becomes apparent that Joe has a connection to Alexis and her family.

First released on January 2nd (and therefore, the first film of 2024), The Mummy Murders is a low-budget serial killer film that was filmed on location in San Antonio.  I have to admit that I’m a bit weary of serial killer films, just because there have been so many of them that they can sometimes feel rather interchangeable.  There’s only so many times you can sit through someone giving a long-winded explanation of their motives and their techniques before you start to wonder what the point of it all truly is.  Personally, I am of the opinion that Lars Von Trier pushed the serial killer genre to its logical conclusion with The House That Jack Built.  Matt Dillon plunging into the abyss was not only a fitting end for his character but also a sign that we had learned just about everything that there was to learn about what makes a serial killer tick.  There’s nothing left to discover.

That said, when taken on its own terms, The Mummy Murders is effectively creepy.  Again, it’s an extremely low budget movie and, towards the end of the film, the boom mic makes a presumably uninvited appearance.  There’s some holes in the film’s plot and I took issue with a lot of the choices that Alexis made throughout the film.  But Jason Scarbrough gives an effectively unhinged performance as Joe and the film deserves a lot of credit for not trying to make him into some sort of erudite, witty Hannibal Lecter-style murderer.  Instead, Joe is a believable creep who takes pride in his crimes because they’re the only thing for which he’s ever shown any ability.  Joe looks at both Alexis and the audience with a thousand-yard state, leaving little doubt that there’s zero room for kindness or empathy in Joe’s death-obsessed mind.  In an especially creepy moment, Joe talks about his excitement when, as a pre-teen, he discovered that the body of a girl on whom he had a crush had been brought to his father’s mortuary.  It’s icky and it’s creepy but it’s probably a more realistic portrayal of the killer’s sick mindset than what is found in most films.

As a final note, The Mummy Murders was shot on location in San Antonio.  San Antonio’s a lovely city.  More films should shoot down there.

The Films of 2024: Sunrise (dir by Andrew Baird)


In the Pacific Northwest, animals are being killed and their blood is being drained.  Some of the locals theorize that it’s the work of the Red Coat, a legendary creature that demands constant sacrifices to keep it at bay.

Reynolds (Guy Pearce, with a wild preacherman beard) doesn’t care about the Red Coat.  He’s more upset about the fact that he and his buddies are feeling displaced in America.  He’s been driven to rage by the fact that there’s a family named Loi living in his community.  He hates immigrants.  He blames minorities for every problem that America is facing.  He says “ain’t” instead of “is not” because that’s the way this film lets us know that its characters are supposed to be blue collar.

Reynolds has murdered Mr. Loi (Chike Chin) and he’s targeting Yan Loi (Crystal Yu) and her teenage son, Edward (William Gao).  Fortunately, the Loi Family has a protector.  Fallon (Alex Pettyfer) wanders through the misty countryside with a grim look on his face and a darkly-colored wardrobe that is designed to let us know that he’s seeking vengeance.  Along with defending the Loi Family, Fallon has a personal reason for seeking vengeance on Reynolds.  Fallon also has an insatiable need for blood….

Sunrise is a somber, slowly-paced, and rather shallow-minded film.  It takes itself very seriously and it definitely wants you to know that it has important stuff on its mind, unlike those other vampire films that just seek to be entertaining.  Of course, as any student of the grindhouse knows, an entertaining film can often be the most effective form of propaganda around.  People aren’t going to think about your message is they’re bored out of their mind.

At times, Sunrise seems to think that it’s the first film to ever use vampirism as a way to comment on current events, which I’m sure would be news to Bram Stoker, Jean Rollin, Anne Rice, Stephen King, Kim Newman, John Carpenter, Werner Herzog, Francis Ford Coppola, Spike Lee, Abel Ferrara, Guillermo del Toro, Kathyrn Bigelow, David Conenberg, Bill Gunn, Dan Curtis, and just about anyone else who has ever written or directed anything that involved a vampire.  Reynolds rants and rave about his hated of immigrants in speeches that are so overwritten and so florid that they verge on parody.  (At one point, he saps at a deputy for not drinking an American beer.)  His character is a fever dream of what Leftists think blue collar workers sound like when they’re not cheering their favorite football team or laughing about climate change.  I suppose the filmmakers deserve some credit for having enough discipline to realize that having Reynolds shout, “This is MAGA country!” would be a bit too heavy-handed for even this film but one can tell that the temptation was definitely there.

At first, I thought that the film’s cinematography would be its saving grace but eventually, I got bored with all of the artfully composed shots of the misty northwest.  There’s really not much difference between Sunrise‘s visuals and the visuals of the Twilight films.  Then I thought that Guy Pearce’s intensity might elevate the film but then I realized that Pearce has played this same character several times and he’s been more interesting in other films.  As for Alex Pettyfer, he’s just as boring here as he was in Magic Mike.  In Magic Mike, he at least danced.

Interestingly, this film — with its portrayal of rampant racism in the American northwest — is an Irish production that was shot not in Washington or Oregon but instead in Belfast.  That perhaps explains why the characters often sound like they learned how to speak by watching American cop shows on television.  Personally, I am not amongst those who feels that people should only be allowed to make movies about their own countries.  I don’t believe in limiting the imagination in that style.  As an American of Irish (and Italian and Spanish) descent, I think that an American filmmaker would be totally justified in directing a film about Ian Paisley’s followers terrorizing the Catholic minority in Northern Ireland.  (They could even shoot it around Austin, Texas.)  Or maybe someone could make a movie about that Irish basketball team who refused to shake hands with an opposing team because the team was from Israel.  All’s fair.

Live Tweet Alert: Join #ScarySocial for Tell Me A Creepy Story!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 9 pm et, Tim Buntley will be hosting #ScarySocial!  The movie?  2023’s Tell Me A Creepy Story!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  I’ll be there tweeting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Tell Me A Creepy Story is available on Prime and Tubi!

See you there!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.4 “Tails I Live, Heads You Die”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, a flip of the coin leads to tragedy!

Episode 2.4 “Tails I Live, Heads You Die”

(Dir by Mark Sobel, originally aired on October 21st, 1988)

Finally, Jack, Micki, and Ryan have a night to relax.  Jack does some reading while Micki poses for Ryan, who is apparently a sculptor now.  Micki says that it’s unfortunate that Ryan is stuck having work at Curious Goods when he has so much artistic talent.  Micki has a point, even if this is the first time that we’ve heard about Ryan’s artistic interests.

Suddenly, the phone rings.  A reporter named Tom Hewitt (Bill MacDonald) is calling because he’s heard that Jack is an expert in the occult.  Tom says that he’s tracked down a Satanic cult that is planning on doing something big.  He tells Jack where he can find all of the evidence that Tom has gathered over the course of his investigation.  While Jack and Ryan head over to the bus depot where Tom has hidden his research, Micki stays at the store.  As for poor old Tom, he ends up dead with the image of a bloody ram’s head imprinted on his forehead.

Looking through Tom’s papers and photographs, Jack discovers that the head of the Satanic cult is a taxidermist named Sylvan Winters (Colin Fox) and that Sylvan is in possession of a coin that is imbued with Satanic energy.  When the owner of the coin flips it, it leads to the death of whoever is standing nearby.  After the coin kills someone, it can be used to bring someone back to life.

First, Jack goes to the taxidermy shop with Ryan but the two of them fail to find the coin.  Later, Jack returns with Micki and the two of them stumble on a Satanic ceremony.  When they are spotted by Sylvan and the cultists, Jack and Micki make a run for it.  Sadly, they get separated.  While Jack manages to escape from the cultists, Micki is caught by Sylvan.  Sylvan flips the coin and …. KILLS MICKI!

Seriously, Micki’s death took me totally by surprise and it actually left me feeling really upset.  I’ve got red hair.  Micki has red hair.  Micki tends to be a skeptic.  I tend to be a skeptic.  Micki was pretty much me on this show!  And now she’s dead?  Agck!

Arriving at the taxidermy place, Ryan sobs over Micki’s body and then tells Jack that, after he gets the coin and destroys Sylvan, he is done with the cursed antiques business.  Ryan says that he’s ready to live his life and he can’t handle losing anyone else close to him.  (Remember that Ryan’s father was killed by a cursed pipe last season.)  

Returning to the taxidermy studio, Ryan and Jack discover that Sylvan is planning on using the coin to raise two powerful warlocks and a witch so that they can combine their power to bring Satan into the world.  However, Ryan and Jack steal Micki’s body from the morgue, put a mask on her to make her look like the witch that Sylvan wants to raise from the dead, and then the replace the witch’s body with Micki’s body.  As a result, Sylvan brings Micki back to life.  (Ryan and Jack’s plan is incredibly complicated and I’m kind of surprised that they were able to pull it off.  But who cares as long as Micki is no longer dead.)  Satan gets angry, the taxidermist studio collapses. and Ryan grabs the coin and flips it in front of Sylvan.  Sylvan dies but the coin is still out there.

But no matter!  The important thing is that Micki comes back to life!  Yay!  And Ryan decides not to leave Curious Goods, mostly because he’s in love with his cousin, though that’s something that the show rarely acknowledges.

By the time this episode came around, Robey, Chris Wiggins, and John D. LeMay had developed into a tight enough ensemble that Ryan’s tears and Jack’s anger over the death of Micki felt very powerful and very real.  As well, Colin Fox was a wonderfully hissable villain.  He was so smug that I couldn’t wait to see him get his comeuppance.  This was an excellent episode.

Next week, Ryan falls in love with a cursed violinist because Ryan is never allowed to be happy for long.