Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 5.7 “Joint Venture” and 5.8 “Revolver, Problem Solver?”

Posted on July 3, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Silk gets a new job and he also gets a gun! It’s a wild time in Indiana with Hang Time!

Hang Time 5.7 “Joint Venture”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on October 30th, 1999)

Somehow, Silk and Eugene are the new managers of Deering’s hottest club, The Matrix!

Right away, this episode the makes the mistake of asking us to suspend our disbelief. I’ve accepted a lot of weird things when it comes to Hang Time, like the entire team spending Christmas in New York and Antonio somehow just moving from Texas to Indiana without his parents. But seriously, why would two high school students be hired to manage a club? And even if you could accept the idea of two high school students being given that type of responsibility, who in their right mind would hire Silk and Eugene? We haven’t seen anything on this show to indicate that either one of them comes across as being the sort of person who could handle that much responsibility.

The club is a big hit but Silk and Eugene are shocked to discover that someone is selling marijuana in the bathroom! Instead of shutting down the club (which is what the show suggests they should have done for some reason), Eugene and Silk call the cops and arrange for two undercover cops to come to the club and arrest the dealer. However, at the same time, Kristy and Mary Beth are trying to write an award-worthy story for the school newspaper and they decide to go undercover as well. Their plan is to buy marijuana from the dealer and then write a story about it.

Yep, who wouldn’t think they were stoners?

Anyway, as you probably already guessed, this leads to the undercover cops trying to arrest not just the dealer but also Mary Beth and Kristy. Michael and Julie see the cops grabbing their friends and, since they don’t know that they’re cops, a huge brawl breaks out. The club is wrecked! For some reason, the cops then call Coach K., who comes down and yells at everyone. Luckily, only the dealer goes to jail. Eugene and Silk lose their jobs, which they never should have had in the first place.

This is the type of episode that I hate, where every single problem could have been solved by everyone not being an absolute idiot. Let’s move on.

Hang Time 5.8 “Revolver, Problem Solver?”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on November 6th, 1999)

Silk’s father is a cop! That seems like the sort of thing that would have been helpful during the previous episode. Anyway, this guy who was arrested by Silk’s father starts threatening Silk. The guy carries a knife and tries to stab Silk at school. Seeing as how that’s attempted murder and the attack was witnessed by Silk’s friends, it seems like it would have been pretty easy for Silk to call the cops and get the guy sent to prison for a decade. Instead, Silk decides to handle things himself by getting a gun.

Yes, really.

Meanwhile, the team needs to raise money so Mary Beth arranges a car wash. Coach K’s car ends up getting flooded with water after the team washes it without rolling up the windows. How dumb are these people? Anyway, the guy who wants to kill Silk shows up at the car wash with his knife. Silk pulls out his gun but the bad guy easily grabs it away from him. In the ensuing struggle, a shot is fired. A window shatters. Mary Beth nearly gets shot. The bad guy gets arrested and Silk get cited for having an illegal gun.

Remember when Coach K made everyone sign that contract not to do anything dangerous during the season? Under the terms of that contact, Silk should have been cut from the team. I mean, Eugene nearly got kicked off the team for wanting to ride a skateboard. Meanwhile, Silk is putting everyone’s lives in danger. But Coach K is a big old hypocrite and Silk is allowed to keep playing basketball for Deering High.

I will compliment this episode, though. For a teen sitcom that was produced by Peter Engel, the fight scene between Silk and the knife guy was surprisingly well-choreographed and filmed. As well, this is the first episode to really allow Danso Gordon to do some acting as opposed to just standing in the background and Gordon does a pretty good job with the role, even if Silk’s action don’t always seem realistic. This was another episode where almost everything that happened was the result of people not having any common sense. It had a good message about being safe and careful with guns but it was still frustrating to watch.

Next week, Kristy hangs out with a goth and Michael discovers that some people are racist. Indiana’s a crazy place.

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 5.5 “Too Good To Be True” and 5.6 “Shall We Dance?”

Posted on June 26, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’ll always remember, me and my friends at Hang Time….

Episode 5.5 “Too Good To Be True”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on October 16th, 1999)

Michael’s father is out of town and — oh no! — Michael has damaged the family car. Michael has to raise the money to fix the car before his father comes home so Michael gets a job delivering pizzas. Since this is a Peter Engel-produced show, this means that Michael has to dress up and talk like a pirate.

Fortunately, Michael meets a real estate agent who happens to be a fan of Deering basketball. The agent gives Michael a job and even loans him the money to pay for the car repairs! Yay!

Unfortunately, Michael is dating Julie again and, as usual, Julie just can’t let anyone else be happy. She decides that the real estate agent is trying to recruit Michael to play basketball at Indiana Tech. Apparently, it’s against the rules for recruiters to offer gifts to students. Julie tells Michael that he has to quit his job and then she gets the rest of the team to tell Michael the same thing. Michael’s first instinct is to tell everyone to mind their own business. And really, Michael has a point here. It’s his life and seriously, I’m sure everyone bends the rules. If he’s a good enough player and if he goes to a school with enough rich benefactors, no one will ever care. But, eventually, Michael quits his new job and refuses to take the money. By the end of the episode, he is once again dressed as a pirate and delivering pizzas.

“I’m proud of you,” Julie says, “you followed the rules.”

(Rules are for suckers.)

Meanwhile, Coach K is totally excited because he’s bought a new telescope so he can watch a comet fly by the Earth. Yay! I’ve been critical of Coach K in the past but he’s actually pretty likable in this episode and Dick Butkus does a good job of playing up his almost childlike excitement over seeing the comet. Of course, Julie pops up to say that the comet is no big deal because Julie has to ruin everything.

Let’s move on.

Episode 5.6 “Shall We Dance?”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on October 23rd, 1999)

At the start of this episode, the audience goes crazy as Michael asks Julie out on a date.

“You two are so getting back together!” Mary Beth tells Julie.

Uhmmm …. last episode, they were back together and Julie was going out of her way to ruin Michael’s future. Once again, we have another example of NBC deciding to show these episodes out of order and allowing continuity to be damned.

Anyway, Michael and Julie start dating again. However, Julie also discovers that she and Antonio love to swing dance! (Over the past five seasons, there’s been absolutely nothing about Julie that suggested she would be into swing dancing but whatever….) Julie and Antonio decide to enter a swing dancing contest and soon, they’re spending all of their time together. Always a force of chaos, Mary Beth subtly suggests to Michael and Kristy that their respective significant others may be falling for each other. Even a bizarre cameo from Dr. Drew Pinsky (who apparently lives in Deering and shops at the local mall) can’t keep Michael and Kristy from getting jealous.

This was actually a fun episode, just because of all of the dancing. Jay Hernandez and Daniella Deutscher did get married after co-starring on Hang Time so Mary Beth wasn’t totally wrong about there being chemistry between Julie and Antonio. If I really wanted to be critical, I would point out that this is yet another episode where Julie is actually pretty self-centered (she abandons Michael in the middle of a date so that she can go practice a new dance move with Antonio) but …. eh. There was too much dancing for me to be overly critical.

There was also a pretty stupid B-plot, where Silk and Eugene tried to film Coach K. losing his temper so that they could send it into America’s Funniest Home Videos. Didn’t the same thing happen on California Dreams and City Guys? It might have happened on One World, too. All of these shows blend together after a while. Still, despite the dumb B-plot, I enjoyed this episode.

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 5.3 “Beer Pressure” and 5.4 “Extreme Eugene”

Posted on June 19, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Julie dates an older guy and Eugene goes …. EXTREME!

Episode 5.3 “Beer Pressure”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on October 2nd, 1999)

Julie’s dating an older guy! (Actually, given that Julie’s been in high school for six years now, he might not actually be that much older.) Brian (Jason Hayes) is handsome, charming, and he owns his own company. He drives a Ferrari and he even scores backstage passes to the Alanis Morrissette concert. In fact, that only thing wrong with Brian is that 1) he encourages Julie to stay out late and 2) he drinks. Despite knowing that Brian has had a few too many beers, Julie goes for a ride with him. One car crash later and Julie’s arm is in a sling and the Tornadoes are having to win without her!

(“Is the Ferrari okay?” Mary Beth asks upon seeing Julie’s sling. I will admit that I laughed out loud at this line. Megan Parlen had the best comedic timing of anyone on the show.)

Fear not, the Tornadoes do win their first game of the season. They win by one basket, of course. For a legendary team, the Tornadoes hardly ever seem to actually blow the other team out. But a win is a win. Michael is not only happy to get the win but he’s also happy that, due to the accident, Julie has broken up with Brian. Michael’s decided he wants to date Julie again, despite the fact that Julie previously broke his heart by dumping him for no good reason.

Meanwhile, Antonio is now renting an apartment. His landlord is Coach K. Though Coach K is not happy after he’s attacked by a swarm of bees that were angered by Antonio’s decision to knock down their hive, he is touched when Antonio says that everyone has made him feel so welcome in his new state. That’s good and all but I’m still confused as to how Antonio, a minor, was able to just move from Texas to Indiana on a whim. The charismatic and likable Jay Hernandez is a welcome addition to the cast but it still doesn’t make any sense for Antonio to be there.

This episode felt oddly familiar. At first, I was sure that Julie had already dated an older man but then I realized that I was thinking about the Raise the Roofies episode of City Guys. It’s difficult to keep all of these Peter Engel-produced shows straight. That said, I appreciated the anti-drinking and driving message and both Megan Parlen and Amber Barretto continued to show their skill at getting laughs from even the most predictable of lines. This was not a bad episode, even if it does seem like Julie should have graduated from college by now.

Episode 5.4 “Extreme Eugene”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on October 9th, 1999)

Eugene is finally a starter but he’s struggling to balance his love of skateboarding with his love of basketball. After Eugene injures his shoulder at a skateboarding competition, Coach K announces that all the members of team are going to have to sign a contract promising not to do anything dangerous — like skateboarding — during the season. Eugene reluctantly signs the contract but, immediately afterwards, he asks Coach K if he can go to a skateboarding competition. Coach K says no. Eugene quits the team.

Everyone gets angry, telling Eugene that he made a commitment to the team and that he signed the contract. Here’s the thing, though. The contract is unfair and Eugene has every right to be upset over it. The only reason he signed it was because Michael and Julie pressured him to do so. Even though Eugene may have bruised up his shoulder at the skateboarding competition, he still came in second. A national skateboarding magazine wants to do an interview with him and put him on the cover. Eugene obviously has a much more viable future as a skater than as a basketball player. So, seriously, screw the team. If the team is so weak that not having Eugene on the court is going to cause them to lose, they probably weren’t very strong to begin with.

(Personally, I suspect Julie was just jealous at the idea of someone other than her appearing on the cover of a magazine. If Julie had been a skateboarder, you can be sure the entire team would have shown up to support her.)

That said, Eugene eventually meets his idol, Biker Sherlock. Considering how stiffly he delivered his dialogue, I’m guessing Biker must have been a real athlete. Anyway, Biker tells Eugene that he should honor his commitment to his team. That’s all it takes for Eugene to see things differently and return to the team, announcing that he is going to give up skateboarding until the season’s over. What a wuss.

Meanwhile, Kristy has arranged for her parents to finally meet Antonio at the mall. However, outside the mall, Antonio and Kristy’s father get into an argument over a parking space without either realizing who the other one is. (Wait, this seems familiar….) So, Kristy grabs Eugene and tells her parents that Eugene is Antonio. (Yes, it’s as stupid as it sounds. It was stupid when City Guys did it too.) Eugene tries to speak in an offensively thick Mexican accent. Cringe!

Later, Kristy’s mother spots Eugene kissing his girlfriend. Kristy’s mother then tells Julie that “Antonio” is a cheater and then Julie tells Kristy and Mary Beth. Marty Beth announces that “El Paso means The Cheater.” Kristy accuses Antonio of cheating on her but then Antonio says that he didn’t and Kristy immediately realizes that he’s telling the truth. Awwwww! They’re so sweet together.

This was a dumb episode. Eugene should have ripped that contract into little pieces. Instead, he gave in and gave up his dreams and now, I will never respect him. For all the talk of what Eugene owed the team, the team never seemed to give much thought to what they owed him.

Next week, a college recruiter might be interested in giving Michael a better future so, of course, Julie makes it all about her.

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 5.1 “Hello and Goodbye” and 5.2 “Managing Michael”

Posted on June 12, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s time for Season 5 of Hang Time! As usual, the new season starts with several cast departures and additions. (Since Seasons 5 and 6 were both filmed at the same time, this season is the last one to introduce new characters.) Season 5 also sees Miguel Higuera taking over as the show’s regular director, replacing Patrick Maloney.

Episode 5.1 “Hello and Goodbye”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on September 11th, 1999)

It’s time for a new school year and a new basketball season! Julie, who has been a senior for four years now, is still the star of the team. Michael and Silk are also ready for another run at the championship. Rico, however, is gone. Silk mentions something about Rico joining the wrestling team. Fear not, there’s a new player named Eugene (Phillip Glasser) and he basically acts just like Rico and Vince. Who knew there were so many goofy Italian basketball players in rural Indiana?

Hammer has also returned but not for long. It turns out that he’s been offered a scholarship to attend a prep school in North Carolina. Accepting the scholarship means that Hammer will gain automatic acceptance to Duke. However, it also means leaving behind Mary Beth. (Silk also gets upset, saying that the team is starting to “feel like the Spice Girls” because everyone keeps leaving.) Hammer doesn’t want to tell Mary Beth about the scholarship until he knows for sure whether or not he’s going to accept it.

Meanwhile, Kristy is having a long-distance relationship with Antonio (Jay Hernandez) but she’s upset because she hasn’t seen Antonio in six months. (Maybe she could have visited him in December instead of spending Christmas in New York.) Because she’s apparently not required to attend classes or clear anything with her parents, Kristy impulsively decides to fly down to Texas. However, no sooner has Kristy boarded her flight than Antonio shows up in Indiana. Upon learning that Antonio is now in Indiana, Kristy flies back from El Paso. Once they’re both back in Indiana, Antonio tells Kristy that he’s decided to move to Indiana and go to Deering.

“To be with me!?” Kristy says, shocked.

“Well, it’s not for the Mexican food,” Antonio replies.

Do any of these characters have parents? I mean, is Antonio’s family okay with Antonio moving to Indiana?

Well, regardless, it’s good that Antonio’s there because, even though he initially turns down the scholarship to stay with Mary Beth, Hammer eventually does leave for North Carolina. The team sees him off at the airport. (Oddly, no family members are present.) Julie says that she’s sure she will eventually join Hammer at Duke. That made me laugh, as Julie’s been in high school for 6 years. Duke has standards, Julie!

This was actually not a bad start to the fifth season. I was sad to see Hammer go because Mark Famiglietti really did grow into the role towards the end of the fourth season. But Antonio seems like he’ll be a good replacement, mostly because he’s played by Jay Hernandez. He and Kristy make for a cute couple. This episode also deserves some credit for having Mary Beth mention that all of her boyfriends have eventually ended up leaving the school. She even mentioned Chris, from the otherwise forgotten first season. I’m a sucker for a good continuity nod.

Episode 5.2 “Managing Michael”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on September 18th, 1999)

This is a weird episode. Michael, despite having never mentioned anything about it before, is the leader of a rock band. Playing keyboards is Eugene, who is apparently now everyone’s best friend. Mary Beth is hired to manage the band but she discovers that Deering’s biggest (and only) rock promoter is a total sexist who refuses to do business with a woman. In order to prove that she can handle the music business, Mary Beth somehow manages to organize an entire music festival on her own. The Moffats, who were a boy band from Canada, even play the show. How did Mary Beth set all this up? I have no idea. All I know is that Mary Beth announced that she wasn’t going to let anything stop her and then, one montage later, the Moffats were singing her a song. I mean, Mary Beth is the character to whom I relate so I’m always happy when she succeeds but, in this case, it’s not really made clear how she managed to pull it off. In fact, the last six minutes of the episode is devoted just to the Moffats performing.

Meanwhile, the University of Illinois is planning on giving Coach K a distinguished alumni award. However, the team thinks that the college is trying to hire Coach K away from them so they spread a rumor that the Coach is an alcoholic ex-con. That’s a little extreme and dumb. Coach K finds out what they’re doing and makes them run some extra laps. Coach Fuller would have killed them but Coach K laughs it off because he’s still going to get his award regardless of his team’s attempt to ruin his life.

Seriously, this was a weird episode.

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 4.25 “Christmas In New York” and 4.26 “Waiting For Mary Beth”

Posted on June 5, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The fourth season finally comes to a close! Seriously, things have been moving so slowly for the Tornadoes that I feel like I’ve spent that last several years trapped in this season.

Episode 4.25 “Christmas In New York”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, Originally aired on December 5th, 1998)

The team is in New York City, celebrating Christmas away from home. Kristy, who is not actually on the team, is with them and feeling homesick. Instead of telling her, “Well, go home since you’re not actually on the team,” Silk and Michael promise Kristy that they’re going to have a “real Indiana Christmas” right there in New York.

(So, I guess everyone’s parents are okay with their children celebrating the holidays in New York. Seriously, this whole New York plotline doesn’t make a single bit of sense. If I was the state of Indiana, I would be offended by how eager Hang Time was to find any excuse to get away from me.)

Kristy comes up with the idea of the team celebrating Christmas by doing “Secret Santa.” Everyone thinks that this is a great idea, except for Mary Beth who points out that Secret Santa means that everyone will only get one gift. “Everyone’s stressing about what to get everyone!” Hammer says, as if somehow mandating that everyone can only buy one gift will make it even less stressful to try to find the perfect one. I’m on Mary Beth’s side here. Add to that, Secret Santa comes with a limit on how much can be spent on each person. Each gift has to cost under $10. What the Hell!? Seriously, I’d rather cancel Christmas than accept a gift that cost under $10.

If Kristy is missing her family, Rico is dreading meeting his. As Rico explains it, his grandfather, Sonny, is a former stand-up comedian who always goes out of his way to embarrass Rico. After meeting Rico and the rest of the team, Sonny decides to move into the hotel and stay with them. Sonny explains that Rico doesn’t want his grandson spending his Christmas without his family. And really, Sonny’s right. SERIOUSLY, WHY ARE THEY IN NEW YORK ON CHRISTMAS!?

Anyway, Secret Santa goes awry when Julie and Mary Beth sneak into the boys’s hotel room and discovers that Michael and Hammer bought them cheap scarves. Mary Beth is so offended that she declares that they’re going to have to buy really cheap gifts for the boys.

“How do I do that?” Mary Beth asks Julie.

“Are you saying I’m cheap!?” Julie yells.

Oh, Julie, everyone knows you’re cheap.

Of course, what they don’t know is that, while Julie and Mary Beth are sneaking around the hotel room, Michael and Hammer are buying expensive gifts at Tiffany’s.

Meanwhile, Rico lies to his grandfather to keep him from coming to the Christmas Party. This leads to Coach K. suddenly declaring himself to be the Ghost of Christmas Future and showing Rico that his future is going to feature his grandchildren abandoning him for the holidays. Rico learns the true meaning of Christmas and he spends the holiday with his grandfather after all. The rest of the team spends the holidays without their families but no one cares because they’re all a bunch of heathens, I guess. I don’t know. As I said before, this whole New York thing is way too weird.

This was dumb. Let’s move on.

Episode 4.26 “Waiting For Mary Beth”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, Originally aired on December 5th, 1998)

After a long season that featured a new coach, three new players, and trips to Texas and New York, the fourth season of Hang Time comes to a close with …. a clip show.

The Tornadoes are celebrating New Years Eve in New York City because why would they want to spend any of their holidays with their friends and family back in Indiana. The entire team is gathered at a fancy restaurant overlooking Times Square. But where’s Mary Beth!? Mary Beth, it turns out, is refusing to leave her room because her appointment with a world famous hair stylist did not go well. Luckily, everyone has a memory to share that provides Mary Beth with the courage to celebrate the New Year.

Eh. It’s a clip show. Clip shows are the worst of the worst.

Next week, Season 5 begins!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 5/28/23 — 6/3/23

Posted on June 3, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Bar Rescue (Paramount Network)

On Friday, I watched the episode that was shot in my hometown and, once again, I was disappointed to see how boring my town looks on film. Jon Taffer transformed the bar into a taco place. The owners abandoned the concept as soon as Taffer left. They subsequently went out of business.

Barry (Sunday Night, HBO)

To be honest, I was happy that at least two characters in Barry managed to get a happy ending. I was expecting everyone to be dead by the end of the show but Sally survived and appears to have found some peace. And Fuches seems to have survived as well. Interestingly enough, Sally and Fuches were the only two characters who, in the end, chose to come clean about who they were and what they had done. Barry was killed by his acting mentor, losing his chance at redemption. NoHo Hank died while still in denial about killing Christobal. And Cusineau ended up doing life in prison and being portrayed as being not only a villain but also as being British in the inevitable movie version of Barry’s life. Barry was a great and often unsettling show.

Beavis and Butt-Head (Paramount Plus)

Young Beavis trained for combat! Old Beavis …. well, old Beavis and Butt-Head are depressing no matter what they do. This week, they tried to get vasectomies because they thought that would make them more appealing to soccer moms. It’s always kind of depressing when a Young Beavis and Butt-Head vignette is followed by one that shows what type of life they have waiting for them.

Dirty Pair Flash (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this anime on Saturday morning. I had no idea what was going on but there were a lot of monsters and a lot of things blowing up. It was fun!

Fantasy Island (Tubi)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Hang Time (YouTube)

On Monday, I finally finished binging Hang Time. I’ve written up all my reviews and they’ll be dropping on weekly basis through September. Read my latest review here!

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Prime)

I watched the first episode of the final season on Saturday morning. I look forward to binging the rest of the season over the upcoming week. I’ll share my thoughts once I’ve finished watching.

The Master (Tubi)

I wrote about The Master here!

Miami Vice (Tubi)

This week, I watched the first sixteen episodes of this classic 80s cop show. My reviews will start dropping in September. For now, I’ll just say that I’m enjoying the show.

New Wave Theatre (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this 80s cable access show on Saturday morning. It was a Christmas episode. It was a bit bizarre. I did enjoy some of the bands that played.

Night Music (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this 90s talk-and-music show on Friday night. The music was great and, for the most part, the bands and musicians were all previously unknown to me. It was educational in the best way.

A Small Light (Hulu)

I watched the first episode of this miniseries on Thursday. I’m going to watch the rest of the episodes over this upcoming week so I’ll save my thoughts until after I’ve experienced the entire show.

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I am now watching this 70s sitcom for Retro Television Reviews! Read my thoughts on the first two episodes here!

Yellowjackets (Sunday Night, Showtime)

The second season is over and I’m still sorting out how I feel about it. I enjoyed the first few episodes but then I found myself gradually growing more annoyed with the show and the characters. The inconsistent pacing particularly got on my nerves. Killing off Natalie, the character to whom I most related, is definitely not going to make me remember this season fondly. I’m at the point now that whenever Lotte pops up, whether it’s the past or the present version of the character, I want to throw something at the screen. Still, it’s an intriguing premise and, as frustrated as I get with the show, it’s worth watching for the cast alone.

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 4.23 “Breaks of the Game” and 4.24 “Window of Opportunity”

Posted on May 29, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last week, the team was heading to the championship and then suddenly, they were taking a trip to New York. Let’s see if this week makes any more sense!

Episode 4.23 “Breaks of the Game”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 28th, 1998)

Remember how the team was in New York during the previous episode?

Well, now, they’re back in Indiana! And they’ve advanced in the championship tournament, making it to the finals! The only problem is that their best player has tested positive for steroids. When Hammer is told that he’s the only member of the team to have tested positive, he swears that it’s a mistake. He gets retested and fails a second time. Hammer swears that he is steroid free. Michael believes him. Silk and Rico think he’s lying and are angry at him for ruining the season. Julie doesn’t really care, she just wants to figure out how to win without Hammer.

Well, the team doesn’t win without Hammer. They come close, especially after they realize that the only reason Hammer tested positive was because of his allergy medication. But, for the first time in a few seasons, they miss that all-important final shot and, for once, it’s the other team that wins by one point.

Coach K tells them not to be too hard on themselves. He says that the true test of maturity is how you handle disappointment and bad breaks. It’s not a bad message, even though we all know Coach Fuller would have found a way to win that game.

Meanwhile, Kristy meets a painter who tells her that he’s obsessed with her red hair. (The same thing has happened to me more than once.) She poses for him but is shocked to discover that, even though she was dressed while posing, he still painted her naked. Julie, Mary Beth, and Kristy sneak into the art show and destroy the painting. Somehow, they don’t get arrested. Personally, I can’t laugh at people destroying paintings. Sadly, that’s pretty much the direction that our society is heading in.

Let’s give this episode credit for dealing with defeat. But seriously — don’t pose unless you’re willing to accept that the artist’s vision might be different from yours.

Episode 4.24 “Window of Opportunity”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 28th, 1998)

The team is in New York City and getting ready to celebrate Christmas! Wouldn’t they rather celebrate in Indiana with their families? And why are Kristy and Mary Beth there when they’re not actually members of the basketball team? I mean, the team won the trip.

Anyway, Mary Beth finds time, during her vacation, to work as an intern at a department store. She impresses the store owner by giving the teen department a makeover and, when her manager tries to steal the credit for her ideas, Mary Beth learns an important lesson about standing up for herself. An even better lesson to learn would be that vacations are not meant for work.

Speaking of work, Coach K is hired to work as a department stare Santa. He forced Michael, Rico, Hammer, and Silk to be his elves because why should any of them actually get to relax on their vacation? Coach K and the Elves are briefly mistaken for being a group of thieves and they end up in jail. But then they’re released because the real thieves were caught. Seriously, that’s the whole storyline.

Ugh. If I had wanted to watch an episode of City Guys, that’s what I would have done.

Next week, season 4 concludes!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 5/21/23 — 5/27/23

Posted on May 27, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I didn’t watch much this week. For whatever reason, I really wasn’t in a television mood. Still, I did catch a few shows and here are my thoughts on them!

Barry (Sunday Night, HBO)

Monroe “The Raven” Fuches has his own compound. NoHo Hank is discovering that being a legitimate businessman still means doing a lot of illegal stuff. The FBI is now convinced that Cusineau was Barry’s accomplice. And Sally and John have been kidnapped. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit nervous about how all of this going to wrap up on Sunday night. I’m hoping for a happy ending but I don’t know if there is such a thing in the world of Barry.

Beavis and Butt-Head (Paramount Plus)

Oh no! Beavis and Butt-Head are dead! Well, actually, I’m sure they’ll find a way to survive being in that car that just got tossed into the car smasher thing. I mean, Old Beavis survived having one of his kidneys explode so it might just be that the boys are immortal and incapable of dying. That’s kind of a scary thought.

Black Bird (Apple TV+)

I finished up this excellent miniseries on Sunday. Paul Walter Hauser chilled me to the bone. Ray Liotta broke my heart.

Bubblegum Crisis (Night Flight Plus)

I watched the fourth episode of this anime on Saturday morning. It features a black car shoving a bunch of motorcyclists out of the way. That was actually kind of neat because everyone knows the frustration of getting stuck behind a motorcyclist (or, even worse, a freaking bicyclist) in heavy traffic.

City Guys (YouTube)

I have finally started in on the 5th and final season of City Guys. You can read my thoughts on the 4th season finale right here.

Forgive or Forget (YouTube)

Robin Givens talked to teenagers who felt that they had been let down by their mothers. Wait …. where’s Mother Love!?

Great Performances (Monday Morning, PBS)

Danai Gurira played the title role in a Shakespeare in the Pak production of Richard III. Gurira was certainly able to capture the character’s ruthless determination but there still wasn’t much depth to either her performance or the overall production.

Hang Time (YouTube)

I’m nearly done with this show. Yay! Read my thoughts on this week’s episode here!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about this week’s episode of The Love Boat here!

The Master (Tubi)

Max Keller, union activist! The third episode of The Master was pretty silly and I wrote about it here!

The Office (Peacock)

“Hey there, Mr. Scott, what you gonna do? What you gonna do? Make our dreams come true!” Can you guess which episode of The Office I watched on Friday afternoon?

Red Dwarf (Monday Morning, PBS)

The long-running British science fiction comedy is now airing on my PBS station so I watched an episode on Monday. Apparently, the last Earthling in existence gave some false memories to his companion, a hologram. The hologram was disappointed to learn that his memories weren’t real. It was funny but it was also kind of sad, to be honest. It made me wonder what I would so if I woke up one day to discover that I was the last remaining person on Earth (or in space, as the case may be).

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

Another season of Survivor has come to a close and I am off the reality show beat until Big Brother returns in August. Yam Yam, to be honest, got on my last nerve because he was so whiny and petulant. He played a good enough game that he deserved the victory but still, I would have preferred to have seen either Carolyn or Carson take home the money. What was up with Carolyn getting zero votes? That sucked! You can read my thoughts on Survivor here!

Yes, Minister (Monday Morning, PBS)

This week, Jim Hacker caused a panic when he threatened to withhold honours from civil servants who did not reduce their budgets. Of course, no civil servant would ever willingly reduce their budget but what’s the point of being a civil servant without the honours? It was all very British but it was also universal. Bureaucrats love to be rewarded for not doing anything.

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 4.19 “Rocky Road To The Playoffs” and 4.20 “Kristy Nightingale”

Posted on May 15, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The championship is approaching, yet again! Hang time!

Episode 4.19 “Rocky Road To The Playoffs”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 14th, 1998)

It’s that time of year again! The team just has to win one more game to make it to the playoffs. Unfortunately, because Michael has been distracted, it’s starting to look like it might not happen. It turns out that Michael has gotten a really bad report card, one that has more C’s than B’s. His father has said that Michael can only play basketball as long as he keeps his grades up. Technically, C’s are passing so I’m not really sure what the problem is but whatever.

After Michael has a shouting match with his father, Coach K says that, while he sympathizes with Michael, he can’t let him play in the big game because Michael has got too much on his mind. As a result, the Tornadoes finish the first half of the game with the score tied! Fortunately, Michael’s father shows up during halftime and has a conversation with his son. Michael agrees to go to summer school and his father says that Michael can keep playing. Michael enters the game during the second half and — yay! The Tornadoes win!

Actually, that’s not a surprise. The Tornadoes haven’t lost an important game since the second season.

While this is going on, Mary Beth and Kristy play a game of one-and-one basketball in order to win a car. It wasn’t a terrible B-plot. Megan Parlen and Amber Barretto were always at their best when they got to do something ridiculous together.

This wasn’t a bad episode. I don’t think there was ever any doubt that the Tornadoes would win that game but the episode finally gave Adam Frost something to do and Frost proved himself to be a better actor than one might have previously expected. All in all, this was a good episode. Even Julie was a little less self-centered than usual. Way to go, Hang Time!

Episode 4.20 “Kristy Nightingale”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 14th, 1998)

Meanwhile, back at the camp….

KRISTY NEARLY KILLS RICO!

Well, seriously, can you blame her? I mean, what do we know about Rico? First, he got addicted to marijuana. (Seriously, do you have any idea how much weed you have to smoke to get addicted to a non-addictive drug?) Secondly, he freaked out because he was dating a tall girl. Finally, at camp, Rico got stung by a bee. Kristy, who is apparently now working as the camp’s nurse, removes the stinger but she doesn’t realize that you’re supposed to keep an eye on someone after they get stung by a bee. Instead, she sends Rico back to his cabin, where Rico nearly dies as a result of an allergic reaction! Luckily, there’s a real doctor at the camp and she gives Rico a shot that saves his life.

Kristy feels terrible. Everyone tells her that she’s being too hard on herself, despite the fact that Kristy did nearly kill someone. Kristy worries that she might not be cut out to be a doctor and, again, that would seem like a fair assessment considering that she nearly killed someone. Still, all the members of the team start faking injuries so that Kristy can fix them. Awww, that’s nice of them! Unfortunately, Kristy overhears everyone talking about how they faked all of their injuries and she loses her confidence again. Fortunately, Michael makes himself useful by breaking his arm for real and Kristy gets to help him and regain her confidence.

WAY TO GO, MICHAEL!

While all of this is going on, the counselors engage in a prank war and remind me of why I’m glad to have never gone to any sort of camp.

As far as the basketball camp episodes are concerned, this was an okay one. But Hang Time is a show that is at it’s best when it focuses on high school. Hopefully, this is the last of this season’s camp episodes.

We’ll find out next week!

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 4.17 “Sharing The Spotlight” and 4.18 “New Girl In Town”

Posted on May 8, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hang Time! This week, YouTube once again tries to keep me from watching every episode of Hang Time.

Episode 4.17 “Sharing the Spotlight”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 7th, 1998)

Julie is told that unless she does better in her Math class and passes her upcoming exam, she might not be eligible to play basketball. OH NO! I hope everything worked out….

Unfortunately, this is one of the two episodes of Hang Time that are not available on YouTube. So, I have no idea if Julie learned a lesson about the importance of balancing academics with her extra-curriculars but I’m going to guess that she probably did.

Let’s move on to an episode that actually is on YouTube….

Episode 4.18 “New Girl In Town”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 7th, 1998)

Meanwhile, at the basketball camp….

Like I’ve said before, it’s not surprising that NBC showed these episodes out of order because, in the 90s, there were no continuity nerds around to call them out online. Still, it’s hard not to get a little annoyed at how little NBC apparently cared about whether or not it was possible to follow the storyline from one episode to another. Even though I can’t watch the previous episode, I can read the imdb plot description and know that it featured Julie in school. Now, suddenly, Julie is a counselor at a summer camp. Admittedly, I tend to be a bit over organized but messiness like this just drives me crazy.

Anyway, at camp, Mary Beth and Kristy get their hands tangled in a basketball net. Julie watches them and refuses to help because she’s having too much fun reminding everyone that she’s not a “bonehead.” Finally, Julie decides to help but soon, she gets tangled in the net as well. “Now I’m a bonehead!” Julie declares.

“Awww geez,” Coach K. says as he walks up with Eve (Alexana Lambros), a new girl at the camp. I haven’t mentioned it before because it was too stupid but “Awww geez” is Coach K’s catch phrase.

Eve is really excited to meet Julie but then again, everyone on this show is always excited to meet Julie. Eve says that Julie inspired her to play basketball but everyone always says that to Julie. Personally, I’m more interested in the fact that this new girl is named Eve. We’ve all seen All About Eve, haven’t we?

And, indeed, it does turn out that Eve will do anything to look good on the court and to show up Julie. Apparently, college scouts are coming to the camp and, since Eve is from a small high school, this might be her only opportunity to impress them. It’ll be difficult to do that with Julie hogging the spotlight. Now, if I was Eve, I would just point out to the scouts that Julie has been in high school for five years. Instead, Eve tries to sabotage Julie by 1) flirting with Julie’s ex-boyfriend, 2) cutting Julie’s shoe laces, 3) spilling bleach on Julie’s clothes, and 4) locking Julie in a storage shed.

GO, EVE!

Okay, admittedly, Eve isn’t going about things the right way but, after four seasons of Julie always being right and perfect, it’s kind of hard not to appreciate Eve as a force of chaos. Eve seems to be having so much fun being bad that it reminds us of just how boring a character Julie really could be. The audience applauds when Eve gets her inevitable comeuppance but I have a feeling that a lot of them were secretly on her side.

Anyway, it all works out. Coach K sends Eve home. The University of Connecticut says that they’ll probably still offer Julie a scholarship. Of course, Julie would have to actually graduate high school first and that’s not going to happen for a while. Hopefully, someone still offered Eve a scholarship. Sportsmanship is overrated.

Next week: the team once again prepares for the play-offs!