Retro Television Reviews: T and T 2.1 through 2.4 “Straight Line”

Posted on November 10, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, season 2 begins with a supesized episode.

Episodes 2.1 through 2.4 “Straight Line”

(Dir by George Mihalka, originally aired on October 24, 1988)

Straight Line, the second season premiere of T & T, is one story that is told over the course of four, 30-minute episodes. According to both Wikipedia and the IMDb, all four of those episodes aired on October 24th, 1988. To me, that would seem to suggest that Straight Line originally aired as a made-for-TV movie and that it was later split up into four episodes for syndication. It’s something that happens with a lot of shows, especially when it comes to season premieres. Straight Line was also apparently released, direct to video, as a stand-alone film in 1990 and you have to wonder how many people ended up renting it without realizing that they were spending their money on a super-sized episode of T & T.

The second season begins with some changes to the opening credits. Most of the supporting cast — including Decker, Aunt Martha, Sophie, and Detective Jones — no longer appear in the opening credits. (Decker and Aunt Martha do appear in the episodes but both David Nerman and Jackie Richardson are credited as being “guest stars.”) Instead, it appears that there are now only three regular members of the cast — Mr. T, Alex Amini, and Sean Roberge as a new character named Joe Casper. (Roberge previously appeared during the first season, playing a character named Fabian.)

Joe Casper is a teenager who is in a bit of trouble. He’s gotten involved with a neighborhood gang known as The Future and when the Future disrupts a campaign event for a reverend who is seeking to become Toronto’s first black mayor, it leads to a bomb going off and killing Joe’s mother. Distraught by what’s happened, Joe attempts to jump off a bridge but T.S. Turner (who was at the rally) approaches Joe and says, “Take it easy, little brother,” and that’s all Joe needs to hear to turn himself into the police. Joe is going to need a good lawyer so T.S. calls Amy, who rushes over the police station and….

OH MY GOD, WHAT IS AMY WEARING!?

Amy explains that she was at a banquet when T.S. called but still, I would probably put on a coat or something before heading over to Toronto’s dirtiest police station.

Anyway, Amy is able to keep Joe out of jail. Joe is sent to a juvenile rehabilitation center that is run by Dr. Hammel (Kenneth Welsh). Dr. Hammel is an ally of the preacher who is running for mayor and everyone thinks that Dr. Hammel is a good and devoted social activist. Of course, the audience automatically knows that Dr. Hammel is the bad guy because he’s played by Kenneth Welsh, who I imagine is best-known in America for playing the totally evil Windom Earle in Twin Peaks.

T.S. investigates The Future and discovers that there started out as a neighborhood watch before being transformed into a bunch of Neo-Nazis. He also discovers that Dr. Hammel is the one who is behind the organization. T.S. and Amy have to expose Hammel and they better hurry because the preacher running for mayor has been assassinated and Hammel has just announced that he’s running for mayor of Toronto!

This all may sound pretty exciting but the second season premiere is actually a bit dull. The main problem is that, as opposed to the first season, T.S. doesn’t get to do much in the episode. He’s rather subdued and there’s none of the quirkiness that made the character so memorable during the first season. He doesn’t talk about his love for cookies. He hardly calls anyone, other than Joe, “brother.” There’s not even a scene of him hitting a punching bag. It’s disappointing! As well, he and Amy were separated for the majority of the show, which kind of goes against the whole idea of them being T and T. Instead, the majority of the episode was devoted to introducing Joe. The episode ended with Joe, tears streaming down his face, walking away with T.S. and apparently renouncing his former affiliation with The Future. Since Joe is in the opening credits now, I assume he’s going to become T.S.’s ward for at least the next few episodes.

Hopefully, the next episode will features T.S. acting more like T.S. Otherwise, this is going to be a long season.

Horror on TV: The Hitchhiker 5.12 “Spinning Wheel” (dir by George Mihalka)

Posted on October 15, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On tonight’s episode of The Hitchhiker, Patti D’Arbanville is perfectly cast Wendy, a performance artist who uses her disturbing nightmares for inspiration and who finds herself losing her grasp on reality.

The episode originally aired on August 5th, 1989.

Retro Television Reviews: T and T 1.9 “On Ice” and 1.10 “The Latest Development”

Posted on September 8, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, T.S. insults the national sport of Canada and Amy battles city hall.

Episode 1.9 “On Ice”

(Dir by Alan Simmonds, originally aired on March 7th, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us, “Decker is forced to face the truth about a long-time friend.”

Though T and T took place in a generic city, the show itself was filmed in Canada, with a largely Canadian cast and crew. Hence, it only makes sense that the show would eventually do an episode that centered around hockey. This episode opens with Mr. T’s friend, Decker (David Nerman), coaching a junior hockey game. While the players skate on the ice and chase the puck, Decker deals with fans like the loud Mrs. Mowby (Jayne Eastwood), who is apparently convinced that she knows better how to coach the team than the actual coach! Unfortunately, Decker is yanked out of the game by two detectives who announce that he is under arrest for “theft of over $2,000.”

After T.S. Turner and Amy bails Decker out of jail, Amy explains that it appears that over $25,000 has been embezzled from the Junior Hockey Association. Decker admits to being the association’s treasurer but he also admits to not being good at numbers. He explains that his old friend, Goldie Stanski (played by Sean McCann), usually goes over the books for him.

“Goldie?” T.S. growls, “You trusted a guy named Goldie!?”

Decker explains that Goldie has been his friend for years. Goldie was his former coach! And, indeed, when Mrs. Mowby demands that Decker be kicked out of the Junior Hockey League, Goldie argues that Decker has not been convicted of anything, not that it does Decker much good. However, Detective Jones (Ken James) informs T.S. that “word on the street” is that Goldie has a gambling addiction.

Decker takes T.S. to his next practice and introduces T.S. to the team. They ask T.S. if he’s going to join them on the ice.

“No thanks, brothers,” T.S. replies, “I don’t play no sport when you can get frostbitten indoors. Besides, I think hockey’s an old ladies’ game …. Look at the ton of equipment you guys wear!”

After practice, Decker is arrested for a second time after the detectives, having gotten an anonymous tip, search his locker and just happen to find a bus ticket that leads to a bag full of money. Fortunately, Amy is able to bail him out of jail again, much to the relief of her spacey administrative assistant, Sophie (Catherine Disher), who has a crush on Decker.

T.S. has decided that Goldie is setting up Decker. Now, he just has to get Goldie to give himself away.

“I think with a little persuasion,” T.S. tells Amy, “he might do something foolish …. Friendly persuasion, of course!”

T.S.’s style of persuasion is to show up in Goldie’s apartment and tell him that everyone knows what Goldie’s done while drinking a glass of milk. “Thanks for the milk,” T.S. growls before leaving. When Goldie responds by going to the gym and pocketing more money from the hockey’s charity fund, Amy, T.S., and Decker are there to chase him out on the ice and catch him. If you’ve ever wanted to see Mr. T drive a Zamboni, this is the episode for you.

Decker’s name is cleared and he’s re-instated as coach. Yay!

This was a totally predictable episode but I kind of liked it. Mr. T on a Zamboni was just a ludicrous enough image to make the entire show work.

Episode 1.10 “The Latest Development”

(Dir by George Mihalka, aired on March 14th, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us, “Amy and I fight City Hall …. and City Hall fights back!”

When a dumb, 13 year-old kid named Nick (Toby Proctor) breaks into a construction site and takes a bulldozer for a joyride, he accidentally destroys a truck. The owner of the site, Enzo Malec (George Touliatos), is determined to throw the book at Nick because he’s an evil developer and he wants both Nick and his grandmother, Cora (Helen Hughes), out of their home.

It turns out that one of Amy’s former classmates, Brian Brack (Richard Comar), works in the city’s legal department so she heads down to City Hall in an attempt to guilt him into allowing Cora to stay in her home. For once, we actually get to see Amy doing legal work, which basically amounts to wandering around with a file folder and rolling her eyes while having conversations with other people.

Meanwhile, T.S. takes Nick down to the construction site and convinces Malec to let Nick work off his debt as a construction worker. T.S. arranges for Cora to move in with gospel-singing Aunt Martha (Jackie Richardson) while Nick moves in with Decker.

Suddenly, building inspectors show up at Amy’s office and start searching for violations. “Brian Brack is responsible for this, isn’t he!?” Amy says, while the inspectors write her up for not having a window that opens quickly enough. That’s a $2,000 fine! Upon discovering that they are now going to war with city hall, T.S. tells Amy, “This could be a title bout!”

Amy confronts Brian at a fancy restaurant and tells him that she has discovered that he has invested in Enzo Malec’s development. She demands to know who he and Malec paid off at city hall. Brian tells Amy that she doesn’t know who she is missing with. Amy responds by tossing a drink on him. In a case of amazing timing, Alderman Kent (Mark Walker) shows up and asks if Amy is going to be joining him and Brian for lunch. Hmmm …. I wonder who the corrupt politician could be.

Meanwhile, T.S. and Decker help Nick deal with his anger by training him to box.

“I know how to fight!” Nick says.

“To win, you need a strategy,” T.S. replies.

T.S. proceeds to knock down a 13 year-old.

While T.S. is teaching Nick how to fight, the city is threatening to shut down Aunt Jackie’s foster home! When T.S. finds out, he puts on his dark jacket and starts to head off to City Hall so he can presumably beat up the mayor. Instead, Amy convinces him to hold off by revealing that Brian and Alderman Kent have been taking bribes from Enzo Malec. When T.S. heads down to the construction site, Malec panics and, later that night, he tries to burn a bunch of incriminating files. However, it turns out that he’s being filmed by Amy and the local news.

And that apparently fixes the whole thing!

This episode felt rushed as it basically only had 30 minutes to deal with an hour’s worth of complications. It only took one boxing lesson for Nick to let go of his anger and it only took one confrontation with T.S for Enzo Malec to make one sloppy mistake. That said, I appreciate any episode that portrays municipal government as being thoroughly corrupt and irredeemable. Fight the system!

Next week: Amy’s car gets stolen!

Retro Television Reviews: T. and T. 1.1 “Extortion in Chinatown” and 1.2 “Mug Shot”

Posted on August 11, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Now that we’ve finished up The Master, it’s time to review a new show on Fridays. After much thought, I’ve decided to go with a Canadian show called T. and T., which featured Rocky III‘s Mr. T as an ex-con turned private investigator who worked for a crusading lawyer named Amy Thaler (Alex Amini). Why did he work for Amy? Let’s let the opening credits explain things:

The show was also produced in Canada for their Global Television Network but it aired in syndication in the United States and, despite the fact that it was technically a drama, each episode was only 30 minutes long. So, feel free to think of T. and T. as being a part of the Degrassi Cinematic Universe.

Episode 1.1 “Extortion in Chinatown”

(Directed by Doug Williams, originally aired on January 11th, 1988)

“In this episode, an extortion ring turns up the heat in Chinatown. It’s up to Amy and me to put out the fire!”

So begins the first episode of T and T, with Mr. T gruffly telling us what’s going to happen in the episode that we’re about to see. This is followed by the opening credits, in which we get the backstory about how T.S. Turner (Mr. T) was thrown in prison for a crime he didn’t commit and how Amy Taler (Alex Amini) got him released so that he could work for her as a private investigator. It’s a good thing that the opening credits tell us all that because the episode itself doesn’t provide any sort of backstory for T.S. or Amy. If you were a viewer who missed the opening credits, you would have no idea why T.S. and Amy were working together. To be honest, I’m a bit confused by the conditions of T.S.’s release. It sounds like he was released specifically so he could work with Amy. So, if Amy fires him, does that mean T.S. goes back to jail?

While leaving court, T.S. and Amy are approached by their teenage friend, Renee (Rachael Crawford), who introduces them to her friend, Kin Ling (Wayne Lam). Kin explains that his father, Ho Ling (Harvey Chao), owns a grocery store in the city’s Asian district but that he is being extorted by a gangster named Quang (Leonard Chow). Unfortunately, the Lings are undocumented and fearful of going to the authorities. While Amy tries to make a deal with the prosecutor’s office to keep the Lings from being deported, T.S. confronts Quang at his health club. T.S. tells Quang to back off so Quang sends his thugs down to a gym owned by T.S.’s friend, Decker (David Nerman). When T.S. sees that Decker has been beaten up, he decides to confront Quang at his office.

“A couple of your boys took their chopsticks to a friend of mine, didn’t do his health no good!” T.S. explains to Quang. Quang throws a ninja star at T.S., which causes T.S. to pass out. Quang’s men stuff T.S. in the trunk of their car and drive out to a river so that they can dump his body. However, it turns out that T.S. has woken up in the trunk and, as soon as they stop the car, T.S. bursts out of the trunk and tosses Quang’s men into river.

“I can’t swim!” one of them shouts.

“Then surf!” T.S. snaps back.

T.S. returns to Ling’s shop, just in time to capture Quang and to save the shop from being blown up. (It’s a good thing he did, since both Amy and Ho Ling were tied up in the shop.)

“Mr. Quang,” T.S. says, “Don’t you know what is taken by force is lost by force? So, take a long look around you because it’s going to be a long time before you see this place again!”

Later, at the courthouse, Amy informs Ho Ling that he was now have “official status” in Canada. “Welcome aboard, brother,” T.S. adds.

This was an odd first episode. You would expect the show to start with Amy getting T.S. out of jail and maybe some sort of explanation about how T.S. is now going to work as her private investigator. Instead, as the show opens, it appears that Amy and T.S. have been partners for a while and there’s very little said about either one’s backstory. As an introduction to the characters, the show failed but perhaps the backstory doesn’t matter when the star of the show is a performer like Mr. T. As for show’s actual plot, it was a bit predictable and Quang was not exactly an intimidating villain but, with only a 30-minute running time, at least the action moved quickly.

Episode 1.2 “Mug Shot”

(Directed by George Mihalka, originally aired on January 25th, 1988)

“In this episode,” Mr. T informs us, “an innocent picture turns into a deadly situation as Amy and I get a lesson in photography.”

Sounds like fun!

“He sings pretty good but he just don’t rap! And rappin’ is where it’s at! Can you dig it?” is what Mr. T has to say when Amy asks him if he’s ever heard of a singer named Adam Dalton (Mark Holmes). Dalton’s manager, Sam Roman (Rex Hagon), is suing Amy’s newest client, photographer Kate Richardson (Marnie McPhail). Roman is suing for two million dollars because he wants possession of some pictures that Kate took of Dalton. Kate is insulted that Roman is only willing to pay $5,000 for them.

Amy and Turner investigate why Roman is so determined to get those pictures and it turns out that is has nothing to do with Adam Dalton. In fact, Dalton turns out to be a nice guy who takes Amy out to dinner and then insists on helping T.S. solve the case. Instead, it turns out Kate took some pictures of the owner of a trucking company mere moments before he was murdered by a bunch of union goons. Evil union boss Gallagher (Terry Harford) is pressuring Roman to get the pictures. Take that, North American labor movement!

It may seem like a big case but, due to the show’s 30 minute run time, it’s resolved quickly. Gallagher tries to attack Kate and Amy at Kate’s studio. T.S. grabs him and tosses him through a door in slow motion. Kate is so grateful that she gives T.S. a camera and Adam and Amy go to lunch. Awwww!

This episode opened with a really fun scene in which Adam filmed a music video while surrounded by dancers who were holding plastic tommy guns. And I actually enjoyed the scenes of the gruff T.S. Turner having to deal with the perpetually enthusiastic Adam. That said, this is an episode that really would have benefitted from an extra 30 minutes. The mystery was kind of intriguing but the resolution ultimately felt a bit too rushed.

Next week, T.S. confronts the man who framed him!

Horror Film Review: My Bloody Valentine (dir by George Mihalka)

Posted on October 14, 2021 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Poor Mabel.

In the 1981 slasher film, My Bloody Valentine, Mabel (played by Patricia Hamilton) is the sweet old woman who has convinced the mayor of Valentine Bluffs to reinstate the annual Valentine’s Day dance. The dance had been a tradition, up until the great mine explosion of 1960. Harry Warden was the only miner to survive the explosion, which everyone agreed wouldn’t have happened if the two mine supervisors hadn’t left their post to attend the dance. (Why two middle-aged men were so eager to attend a teenage dance party is a question that is never really explored.) Harry went mad in the mine and resorted to eating the other miners to survive. AGCK! The next year, Harry killed the two supervisors and was promptly sent off to mental asylum. Meanwhile, the annual dance was canceled because I guess it was easier to blame the dance than the mining company or the corrupt union bosses.

Mabel, however, has brought the dance back and it’s probably not a minute too soon because the town of Valentine Bluffs is one of the most depressing towns I’ve ever seen. The sky is permanenlyt overcast. Everyone spends all day down in the mine, getting covered in soot and trying not to die. At night, they go to the bar and get drunk and argue with each other. If the men need to talk about their feelings, they have a drink at the local junkyard. Among the slashers films that came out in the early 80s, My Bloody Valentine is unique for taking place in an authentically blue collar milieu. These aren’t upper class teenagers who are about to be targeted by a demented killer. These are tough men who work hard all day and who are apparently really into Valentine’s Day dances.

Unfortunately, we all know that it’s impossible to move on from a decades-old murder. No sooner has the Valentine’s Day Dance been announced than some old drunk starts telling everyone that they’re doomed. People start to get strange and bloody packages in the mail. A man dressed up like a miner kills Mabel and stuffs her into a washing machine, which seems like an overreaction on the part of The Miner. It does, however, make one thing very clear. If even sweet old Mabel can die, then anyone can die.

After Mabel’s death, the mayor and the sheriff announce that the dance is off but those miners are really into Valentine’s Day so they decide to throw a party anyway. A few of them go down into the mine, which is not necessarily what I would want to do at a party but whatever. I just don’t like soot. Unfortunately, our brave heroes go down into the mine at the same time that the Miner shows up at the party and starts killing people.

The assumption, of course, is that the Miner is Harry Warden but most member of the audiences will have seen enough slasher movies to know better. There’s two obvious suspects. There’s Axel (Neil Affleck), who has a temper and knows how to use a pickax. And then there’s TJ (Paul Kelman), who also has a temper and knows how to use a pickax. Axel and TJ are both in love with Sarah (Lori Hallier) but only one will get to ask her to be his “bloody valentine.”

Among horror fans, My Bloody Valentine is notorious for having been heavily edited to get an R-rating. Supposedly, cuts were made to every single death scene and, even with the cuts, this is still a notably gruesome film. The scene involving the showerhead impalement is especially macabre, even if it has obviously been edited. The Miner is not one of those talkative, quippy, fun-loving murderers that eventually became a staple of the genre. Instead, he’s notably cruel. The murders he commits feel personal and calculated. He’s not one of those movie slashers who just kills anyone unlucky enough to discover Camp Crystal Lake. Instead, he has a plan. In the end, the Miner is one of the more frightening of the killers to come out of the early 80s slasher boom.

My Bloody Valentine works far better than it has any right to. The mine is a notably creepy location and the film does a good job of creating an atmosphere where you really do believe that anyone could die at any minute. The film plays out like a nightmarish urban legend come to life and it provides an example of the giallo-inspired thrillers that slasher films used to be. Despite being a Valentine’s Day film, it’s one that your really should watch for Halloween.

When you’re watching either this film or the 2009 remake, be sure to offer up a prayer to Mabel. With her love of Valentine’s Day, she made it all possible.