Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 1.26 “The Triatholon”

Posted on January 30, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, season one comes to an end!

Episode 1.26 “The Triathlon”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on May 23rd, 1999)

Stads wants to enter the Malibu triathlon but training for it is such hard work and, over the past few episodes, Stads has gone from being an athletic and likable go-getter to becoming perhaps the whiniest character to have ever appeared on a Peter Engel-produced teen sitcom. Scott volunteers to help Stads train which freaks out Jason because Jason still has feelings for Stads.

First, Jason tries to train for the triathlon too but it’s too much work for him. So, Jason arranges for Murray to occupy Scott at the restaurant on the night before the triathlon. Murray demands a lot of shrimp. He follows Scott into the walk-in freezer. Murray accidentally locks them in! I guess they’re dead now.

Meanwhile, Jason pulls out his relationship scrapbook and keeps Stads up so late that she oversleeps and misses the triathlon. Stads isn’t too upset about it because at least she got to spend time with Jason. But then, after Murray and Scott are rescued from the freezer, she finds out that Jason arranged for Scott to miss their final training night. Scott and Stads team up to get revenge and somehow, it leads to Jason dressing up in armor and riding a horse across the beach.

This show is so stupid.

Meanwhile, Traycee slips on the restaurant’s wet flood and decides to sue Peter so that she can appear in a commercial for a personal injury lawyer. Peter goes out of his way to be nice to Traycee, leading to Traycee thinking that Peter wants to marry her and….

This show is so stupid!

But let’s give some credit where credit is due. Brandon Brooks (who played Murray) and Priscilla Inga Taylor (who played Traycee) were the best things about the first season, largely because they both so embraced the absurdity of their characters. While the rest of the cast often seemed to be sleepwalking through their roles, Brooks and Taylor totally threw themselves into their roles and they were responsible for what few laughs the show did achieve. And I’ll admit that I laughed at Taylor and Brooks during the finale. (I laughed when Taylor sang her little song about suing Peter. And I laughed at Brooks muttering, “Surfing” over and over again because he wanted to make sure those were his last words.) They deserve a lot of praise for their work.

The season finale ends with Stads and Jason, the two least likable characters on the show, sharing a kiss while the audience goes, “Whoo!” The finale really reminded how much the show changed over the course of the first season. True, Jason remained a sociopath. However, Scott actually become a halfway decent human being. Due to some very bad writing, Stads went from being likable to being whiny. Murray went from being annoying to genuinely funny. Peter went from being cool to being dorky. Traycee went from being a background character to one of the show’s highlights. And Sam went from being the center of the show to someone who was lucky to get any lines whatsoever. The pilot featured Jason and Scott as high school students but now, Scott is a part-time sportscaster and we never hear any talk of homework or anything else involving school. Change can be good but, in the case of this show, it’s just evidence that no one was really sure what Malibu CA was supposed to be about.

Next week, we start the second and final season. Yay.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.25 “The Yacht”

Posted on January 23, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Jason and Scott do something stupid!

Episode 1.25 “The Yacht”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on May 16th, 1999)

Because they’re dumbasses, Scott and Jason accidentally destroy their father’s new watch. At first, they try to do the right thing and buy him a new watch. But it turns out that watch cost $2,000!

How can they possibly raise $2,000?

Hey, here’s an idea! Maybe they can just borrow Murray’s yacht and throw a casino night! (Actually, the yacht belongs to Murray’s father but whatever.) Surely, that’ll be enough to raise $2,000!

Uhmm …. hey, guys? Let’s think about this logically. It’s a casino night. Now, admittedly, you’ve got the yacht for free because it belongs to Murray’s Dad. Still, you have to rent (or buy) all of the slot machines, roulette wheels, and poker tables that are necessary for a casino night. You have to pay the dealers at each table. You probably have to pay security to keep an eye on all the money that’s floating around. You have to pay for all the refreshments. If you have the money to put on a casino night then guess what? YOU’VE GOT THE MONEY TO REPLACE YOUR DAD’S WATCH!

Good Lord, this show is stupid!

Anyway, Murray shows up at casino night wearing a white captain’s uniform and for once, I agreed with the audiences applause. Murray looked good! Brandon Brooks has been this season’s saving grace and he was the best thing about this episode. Unfortunately, Murray panics when he hears that his father is coming home early. He tries to steer the yacht back to the docks and instead, he accidentally hits a reef. The $2,000,000 yacht sinks!

We have spent this entire season hearing about what a monster Murray’s Dad is. This is the first episode in which he actually appears and he turns out to actually be a pretty cool guy. Yes, he’s upset that his yacht sank. And yes, Murray’s in some trouble. But Murray’s dad says he’s still proud of Murray for taking responsibility. Awww, what a great guy!

And what a stupid episode!

Actually, speaking of stupid, check out the B-plot. Stads wants to star in a film about lifeguard training. Since Traycee’s an actress, she agrees to teach Stads how to perform on camera. Stads accepts Traycee’s help but doesn’t ever really seem to appreciate it. As you can probably guess, Traycee ends up with the role and Stads gets even more upset. At this point, I’m a little bit bored with episodes that center around Stads getting upset about stuff. Stads is always upset about something. Even when something good happens to her, Stads gets upset about it. Stads started out as an interesting character but, halfway through the season, the show’s writers decided to just make her into a permanent killjoy.

Speaking of killing joy, this season is nearly over! Next week, season one comes to a close.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.24 “Uncle Charlie”

Posted on January 16, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, a special guest star is forced to appear on the show.

Episode 1.24 “Uncle Charlie”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on May 9th, 1999)

Jason and Scott are totally excited because their Uncle Charlie is coming to visit. As they explain to Murray, Uncle Charlie has been in the Marines for 30 years and is a total badass. Murray says that he tried to join the Marines but was classified as being “FW.” “Freaking weirdo,” Murray says. Peter then says that he doesn’t like it when Charlie comes to visit because Charlie always make fun of him for being too thin. Really when this show started and Peter was supposed to be like a seriously cool surfer dude?

Anyway, Charlie shows up and he’s played by Dick Butkus. After finishing up both Hang Time and Half-Nelson, I thought I was done with reviewing anything to do with Dick Butkus but nope, here he is in yet another Peter Engel-produced show! I imagine that Butkus did this show as a favor to Peter Engel or maybe Butkus was just under a contract that he couldn’t get out of. Still, it’s hard not to notice that Butkus does not appear to be particularly enthusiastic about appearing on Malibu CA. While it’s true that Butkus always came across as being more of an ex-athlete than an actor (because, of course, that’s exactly what he was), Butkus still at least made an effort on Hang Time. In Malibu, CA, Butkus seems to be struggling to stay awake.

Uncle Charlie is upset because the Marines want him to consider retirement. Charlie works out his frustration by having Jason and Scott do calisthenics. (He’s not their favorite uncle anymore!) But then Charlie starts hanging out with Murray and Murray encourages Charlie to be a beach bum. That sounds good to Charlie and I have to admit that I think Dick Butkus hanging out on the beach in a Hawaiian shirt with Murray actually had a lot of potential. I’m as surprised as anyone that Murray has turned out to be this show’s saving grace but he has. I guess we should be glad the Marines didn’t take him.

Charlie’s new beach-centric philosophy becomes a problem when Charlie finds himself being considered for a job at a military school. The school doesn’t want beach bums! Can Jason and Scott straighten Charlie out? Will Jason ever manage to get through a scene without looking straight at the camera for his cue? Who cares?

As for the B-plot, Traycee has tickets to the Beastie Boys. She invites Stads and Sam to come to the concert with her. Awwww, how nice! “You’ve only got two tickets!” Stads snaps because, for some reason, the show has decided that Stads should always be in a bitchy mood. (Remember when the show started and Stads was vaguely likable?) Sam and Stads compete for the title of Traycee’s best friend. Years later, Paris Hilton had a reality competition show based around the same concept.

This episode was dull. When not even Dick Butkus can make your actors look good by comparison, you’ve got a problem.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.23 “The New Cook”

Posted on January 9, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week’s episode is stupid! Let’s get to it.

Episode 1.23 “The New Cook”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on May 2nd, 1999)

After a relative in Texas breaks his leg — *sigh* I can already tell you that I’m going to hate this episode — Peter announces that he has to go down to the Lone Star State to look after the ranch because, of course, everyone who lives in Texas owns a ranch. (Except for me apparently.) Peter leaves Jason and Scott in charge of the restaurant. Jason points out that he doesn’t get paid to be an assistant manager. He gets paid to be a waiter and you know what? Jason is perhaps the biggest douchebag to ever appear on a television show but, in this case, he’s absolutely correct.

Seriously, does Peter not have any adult employees that he can leave in charge? Jason and Scott are not managers. They are just his good-for-nothing sons who he hired because they were too irresponsible to be left on their own. Scott has grown a bit more responsible over the course of the season but neither he nor Jason really has the track record of someone who you would leave in charge of a complicated business. Jason and Scott do some pretty stupid things in this episode but it’s all Peter’s fault for being dumb enough to give them so much responsibility in the first place.

With Peter gone, it falls to Jason and Scott to hire a new chef for the kitchen. They hire Inga (Victoria Silvstedt) because she’s tall, blonde, and apparently comes from a country where there are no laws about nepo kids sexually harassing their new employees. Unfortunately, it turns out that Inga cannot cook. The head chef refuses to work with her and storms out of the restaurant. Because neither Jason nor Scott can work up the courage to fire her, they try to teach her how to cook. Then they try to run the kitchen themselves. A bunch of Texans are coming to the restaurant and they’re expecting lobster. Uh-oh, Traycee set all the lobsters free! She dumped them in the ocean. Hey, Traycee, you probably just killed all of those lobsters! Can no one on this show think?

(And seriously, what was this episode’s deal with Texas?)

Scott and Jason have to figure out what to do about their guests who claim to be from Texas but who all have the fakest accents that I’ve ever seen. Bleh. Screw this storyline. It’s too stupid. I’m done talking about it.

Meanwhile, in the B-plot, Murray is visited by the legendary surfer, Webfoot Wilson (Peter Flanders). Webfoot says that he’s putting together a charity for injured surfers. But, after Sam and Stads see Webfoot stealing money from the Surf Shack’s cash register, they realize that he’s just a con artist! Will they find the courage to tell Murray that his friend is a thief? Of course, they will. What a stupid B-plot but I will give credit where credit is due. Brandon Brooks’s performance as Murray was probably the only thing that worked about this episode. Murray may have started out as a standard weird sidekick but Brooks was actually able to make him into a surprisingly likeable and occasionally even funny character.

Next week …. oh, who cares? Something will happen.

Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 1.22 “Mom’s Gift”

Posted on January 2, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Well, I guess it’s time to get back to reviewing this show….

Episode 1.22 “Mom’s Gift”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on April 25th, 1999)

After using the money that their Dad gave them to buy themselves a Nintendo, Jason and Scott realize that they’ve forgotten to get a birthday gift for their mom. They panic, though I’m not sure why. Their mother is living in Saudi Arabia, with her new husband and his family. It’s time for Jason and Scott to admit that she no longer cares about them. And even if she is expecting a gift, it takes a while to ship something from California to Saudi Arabia. It’s not like she’s going to somehow know that they waited until the last minute. Stupid Jason! Stupid Scott!

Jason and Scott decide to make their mom a video tape of their lives in Malibu. (Yeah, guys, that’s a lot better than jewelry.) They invite Sam and Stads to share their favorite Scott and Jason memories and then both Murray and Traycee decide to get in on it as well and….

Yep, it’s a clip show.

Oh, clip shows! Every show, good or bad, has them. They’re cheap. They’re easy to produce. And they certainly are boring to watch. That’s especially true when the clips come from a show, like Malibu CA, that still hasn’t figured out what type of story it’s trying to tell. Hey, remember when Dennis Haskins ran for mayor of Malibu? Remember when Stads and Jason were briefly a couple? Remember when Scott and Sam were even more briefly a couple? This show was all over the place and the clips in this episode mostly serve to remind us that Malibu CA never really settled on a consistent tone.

Probably the most interesting thing about the clips was that they revealed that Sam and Stads used to actually have personalities beyond just being killjoys. When this show started, Stads actually had a sense of humor and Sam actually …. well, Sam never really had much of a personality but still, at least she used to do more than just sit in the background and comment on Murray’s weekly shenanigans. The clips also reminded us me that Jason and Scott used to both be sociopathic. Now, at least, Scott is vaguely responsible and level-headed. Jason, meanwhile, remains a douchebag.

Happy birthday, mom!

Oh well. What can you really say about a clip show? It’s so rare to see a good one. Even the clip show they did for The Office sucked. I guess I should be happy that this was the first episode of Malibu CA that I reviewed for 2025. The clips reminded me of why I was so happy to have an excuse to take a break from reviewing this stupid show but still, a clip show of Malibu CA is still less painful to review than an episode where you actually have to pay attention to the plot.

Happy New Year!

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.21 “Scott’s Secret Dream”

Posted on December 12, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, I continue I wonder why I ever started reviewing this show in the first place.

Episode 1.21 “Scott’s Secret Dream”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on April 18th, 1999)

This week’s episode of this terrible show revolves around the local television news. Everyone is looking for a job.

Traycee, for instance, gets a job as the weather girl and spends her time saying that she doesn’t want it to rain in Malibu so she’s decided that it will be sunny instead. The judgmental and humorless station intern is not amused by any of this. Anyone who has watched this show should have little trouble guessing that the intern is Stads.

(It’s kind of sad how, in just a few episodes, Stads went from being the fun, kooky lifeguard to being a hyperjudgmental killjoy.)

Jason is excited because the station is sponsoring a jingle contest. He wants to be a professional songwriter so maybe this could be his chance! Jason does manage to win the contest but he spends so much time working on the jingle that he keeps his brother, Scott, from getting so much-needed sleep.

Scott has a secret dream. He wants to be the station’s sports reporter. (How about finishing high school first, Scott?) Even Stads thinks that Scott would be a good sports reporter. Unfortunately, Scott shows up for his audition exhausted and blows his big chance. The station hires someone over the age of 17 to be the sports reporter.

Fortunately, for Scott, the newly hired sports reporter turns out to be a sexist pig and he’s fired after he follows Jason’s advice and hits on the station manager. (Why is anyone following Jason’s advice about anything?) So, Scott gets another chance to audition but this time, he drinks too much coffee and ends up jumping on the news desk and dancing.

(Because, y’know, that’s something you totally do if you drink a lot of coffee.)

Can Jason and Stads get Scott a third audition? Yes, they can but the way they do it is so stupid that I don’t even want to talk about it. The important thing is that Scott gets the weekend sports job and …. well, I guess he’ll just work as a busboy at the restaurant for the rest of the week.

(I’m starting to think this show isn’t very realistic.)

Meanwhile, Peter is upset because he’s single and he’s taking out his frustration on Murray. So, Murray sends Peter a note from a secret admirer and …. you know what? This is too stupid to talk about. Brandon Brooks, as always, deserves some credit for bringing a touch of genuine sweetness to Murray’s odd behavior but …. no, no, I’m not going to talk about it. This whole subplot was just too stupid. Brandon Brooks and Ed Blatchford were probably the closest thing this show had to genuinely talented actors but the show always wasted them in the dumbest B-plots.

When I first started reviewing this show, I disliked both Scott and Jason equally. As this season has progressed, Scott has grown on me a little because, unlike his brother, he’s not a total sociopath. Scott, at the very least, seems to want to be a good person. Jason, on the other hand, just seems like he’s destined to go to prison for cheating someone out of their life savings.

Thank God, it’s the holidays! This is my last Malibu, CA review for 2024. My reviews of this show will return on January 2nd. Until then, I’m free from the Collins brothers!

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.20 “The Older Woman”

Posted on December 5, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, things get even dumber than usual. Forever summer!

Episode 1.20 “The Older Woman”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on April 11th, 1999)

Tracyee wants to try to out for the Lakers cheerleading squad. Unfortunately, she makes the mistake of sharing her plans with Samantha and Stads, both of whom are morally offended that Tracyee would actually want to do something that could bring her 1) a steady income and 2) the fame that she’s desperately been searching for since this show started. Stads and Sam both declare cheerleading to be sexist and degrading. However, when they find out that the auditions will be televised, they decide to try out so that they can denounce the Lakers on television.

(Of course, unless the try-outs are being aired live, it’s probable that anything Samantha or Stads said would have been edited out of the program. Add to that, it doesn’t seem to occur to either one of them that they would also probably be ruining Traycee’s chance of making the squad as well.)

Now, I should point out that this is just the B-story. Only a few scenes are devoted to Murray training Sam, Stads, and Traycee before their try-outs. In the end, Murray is such a good coach that he’s the one hired for the cheerleading squad. The most (and really the only) interesting thing about this B-story is that it shows just how unlikeable and one-dimensional both Sam and Stads became as the first season progressed. There’s really no reason for them to even involve themselves in Traycee’s quest to become a Lakers Girl. Traycee indicates that she knows that it’s all sexist and exploitive but — and this is key — she doesn’t care. As soon as Traycee indicates that she doesn’t care, that’s the signal for Stads and Sam to back off.

(One of the consistent things about all of the teen sitcoms produced by Peter Engel was that feminists, whether they were Jessie Spano on Saved By The Bell or Julie on Hang Time, were always portrayed as being shrill, humorless, and, worst of all, hypocritical.)

As for the main plot — hey, it’s stupid too! In fact, it’s both stupid and creepy! Peter has hired a graphic artist named Laura (Odile Corso) to redesign the restaurant’s menus. Peter seems to like Laura and Jason decides that he’s going to help his father get laid. (He doesn’t put it that way but that’s still the general idea.) However, while Jason is trying to convince his father to ask out Laura, Laura decides to ask out Jason.

This is a bit awkward, seeing as how Jason is supposed to be a high school student! Even worse, the episode ends with Peter explaining that Laura was too young for him and suggesting that Jason should have asked her out. Again, why would a successful and attractive woman in her mid-to-late 20s want to date a shallow high school student who works in his father’s restaurant? This is not the first time that I’ve wondered if this show’s writers remembered that Jason and Scott were established, at the start of the season, as being high school students. Then again, even if Jason wasn’t a high school student, he would still be a sociopathic nepo baby so maybe Laura just has bad taste in general. As for Peter, he ends up dating a dentist, who is played by Deborah Shelton (who, in presumably better times, had a key role in Brian DePalma’s Body Double).

This was a dumb episode, even by the standards of Malibu, CA.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.19 “Jason’s New Job”

Posted on November 21, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, I continue to torture myself by watching this dumb show.

Episode 1.19 “Jason’s New Job”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on February 28th, 1999)

Frustrated with always being the one who is accused of screwing things up at the restaurant, Jason decides to get a new job. That seems a bit petulant on his part, especially when you consider that Jason is the one who is always screwing everything up. But anyway….

Jason ends up working at a gym. His job title is Customer Relations. His actual job is cleaning up after people. He’s a janitor, basically. Meanwhile, at the restaurant, Peter hires another waiter, who is also named Jason and who is totally responsible. He’s so responsible that Peter and Scott start calling him “Super Jason.”

And I’ll say this …. as stupid as this show is and as much as I regret deciding to watch and review it, the Super Jason thing was kind of funny. Mostly it was funny because the other Jason is such a douchebag that it’s fun to watch him get humiliated.

Anyway, Super Jason “cleans out” the restaurant. Peter thinks that means that Super Jason is really working hard to keep the place clean but no, actually, Super Jason stole the cash register, the deep fryer, the security cameras, and just about everything else he could get his hands on. What’s funny is that, even when Peter and Scott are looking at their now empty restaurant, they still keep calling the guy Super Jason.

Suddenly, a food critic shows up. She’s not amused when she’s told that she can’t have what she wants because the kitchen has been cleaned out. She’s going to give the restaurant a bad review! Oh no! Oh wait, there’s Ordinary Jason with a plate of food. He saves the day by making her order. How does he do that when there’s no supplies left in the restaurant? Who knows?

Meanwhile, Murray and Tracy are convinced that they (and Stads) have been cursed with bad luck. They convince Stads to put on a bird costume and dance on the beach. A guy who likes Stads sees Stads doing it and cancels their date. Stads is like, “My friends betrayed me!” Seriously, when did lifeguards get so whiny?

This episode was pretty stupid, if slightly (and just slightly) more amusing than the typical episode of Malibu, CA. As I watched, I thought about the show’s pilot, in which both Jason and Scott were sociopathic, Peter was a cool surfing legend, Stads was the tomboy lifeguard, Murray was crazy, and Samantha was the girl that Jason and Scott were both in love with. The pilot introduced us to the principal of the high school and suggested that she and Peter were in love with each other. Now, 19 episodes in, Scott is the responsible one while Jason is an immature douchebag. Peter is now a dorky restaurant owner. Stads is whiny. Samantha is so bland that it’s easy to forget that she’s on the show. Neither the high school nor the principal have been seen since the pilot. And Murray and Tracy are probably the only redeeming things about this show, if just because Brandon Brooks and Priscilla Inga Taylor really throw themselves into playing those ludicrous characters.

Next week …. oh, who cares? It’ll be dumb whatever it is.

Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 1.18 “The Dude of Love”

Posted on November 14, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Someday, I’ll finish this show and move on to something good….

Episode 1.18 “The Dude of Love”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on February 21st, 1999)

This week, on Malibu, CA, Jason has a crush on a girl named Holly (Kristen Miller). Holly, however, is already dating someone else. She says that her boyfriend is an accountant and is too obsessed with work.

Does Jason:

accept that Holly is not single and move on
accept thar Holly is not single and wait to see what happens with her current relationship, or
act like a sociopathic little bitch?

If you guessed the third answer, you obviously know your Malibu, CA!

Needless to say, Jason acting like a sociopathic little bitch is hardly a new occurrence. When this show originally started, I thought that Scott was the more unlikable of the two main characters. He was just so smarmy and self-satisfied. But, as this season has progressed, I’ve come to realize that Scott is just a dumb frat boy who is trying to enjoy himself before his mid-life crisis hits. Jason is so just as smarmy and self-satisfied as Scott but he’s also whiny and that makes him a hundred times more annoying.

(Another annoying thing is that, whenever Jason breaks the fourth wall and talks directly to the audience, he always awkwardly pauses before delivering his lines because the actor is obviously waiting for someone off-camera to cue him. This was especially noticeable in this episode.)

Jason’s plan, as usual, involves manipulating Murray. Murray has been hired to provide surfing updates on the local radio station (which broadcasts straight from the beach because there’s no way Peter Engel was going to pay for an extra set). Jason announces that he’s going to be Murray’s producer. Under Jason’s direction, Murray becomes “The Dude of Love,” offering up advise to lovelorn surfers.

First, Jason convinces Holly that she should call the Dude of Love for advice.

Then he convinces Murray that he’s sick so that Murray will stay home and Jason will able to take Holly’s call. Jason does an imitation of Murray and tells Holly to dump her boyfriend. Since the radio show is being broadcast literally from the beach, everyone can see Jason pretending to be Murray so I’m not really sure how this plan is supposed to work.

Anyway, Holly does not dump her boyfriend and it turns out that he’s not only an accountant but also a weight-lifter. The accountant wants to beat up Murray so Jason confesses the truth. The accountant tells Jason to stay away from Holly and to always save his receipts. Okay, the receipt thing was kind of funny.

Meanwhile, Stads, Scott, and Mr. Collins deal with Honest Ernie (Ricky Paull Goldin), a conman who sold the beach to Tracy. Of course, no one can sell the beach because it’s public property. Honest Ernie also sells fake baseball cards. Anyway, I’m not going to to waste my time detailing this dumb B-plot but the gang tricks Honest Ernie into buying a plot of land in Texas that doesn’t exist. Tracy gets her money back. Yay!

(That’s still technically fraud but whatever.)

Even by the standards of this show, this was a dumb episode. Murray deserves better friends.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.17 “The Game Show”

Posted on November 7, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Why do I do this to myself?

Episode 1.17 “The Game Show”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on February 14th, 1999)

Scott has been promoted! His father has made Scott the new weekend manager of his restaurant, The Lighthouse. Jason is offended, even though Jason regularly comes to work late and is rude to the customers. Strangely enough, though, the other workers at The Lighthouse, the majority of whom have probably been working there longer than both Jason and Scott, are not offended that a major promotion was given to the boss’s inexperienced jerk of a son. Seriously, Scott has only been in Malibu for a few months and he’s gotten in just as much trouble with Jason. Neither one of them deserves a promotion.

Jason and Scott are selected to appear on Blind Date, a dating game show that airs on Malibu’s public access channel. (Not surprisingly, the show is hosted by Tracy.) Jason makes a $300 bet with Scott that he can win the date. Jason’s plan is to cheat by sneaking a look at the audition tape of the girl who will be selecting her date. Scott discovers that Jason is cheating so he cheats by convincing Tracy to invite a different girl on the show. During the show, Jason realizes what Scott has done and calls him out. Tracy disqualifies both of them, which means that Murray wins the date.

I got a headache just writing that paragraph.

Meanwhile, Stads puts on a fat suit so that she can research how people treat the obese. A lifeguard named Darren (Brody Hutzler) asks Stads out while she’s in disguise. Stads is excited to finally have a date but will Darren still want to date her when he finds out that Stads is thin?

Every Peter Engel-produced sitcom did at least one episode where one of the main characters found themselves being forced to either go on a date or work with a fat person. Usually, these episodes ended with the standard message of “It’s what’s inside that counts,” and then the fat character, having served their purpose, would never be seen or mentioned again. The theme of this episode of Malibu, CA seems to be that some people don’t care about physical appearances and seriously, what the Hell’s wrong with those people? Stads learns that not everyone is turned off by a few extra pounds and wow, those people are weird! It’s not a great message for a sitcom aimed at teen girls, to be honest.

As usual, this episode struggles because almost everyone on the show comes across as being a sociopath. Scott is promoted for no good reason and immediately gets an attitude. Jason breaks the fourth wall to brag to the audience about how he’s going to lie, cheat, and steal. Stads may not be a sociopath but she is remarkably shallow in this episode. It’s always strange the way that this show insists that Stads, who is blonde, pretty, and athletic, can somehow never get a date. Maybe it would help if she had a better name. Stads probably sounds a bit too much like Stabs.

Murray and Tracy are, at this point, is the only decent characters on the show, largely because they’re both open and honest about who they are and they’re not ashamed of their quirks. Brandon Brooks and Priscilla Inga Taylor both seemed to have understood that it was pointless to try to give “real” performances on this show and their willingness to full embrace the over-the-top silliness of their characters went a long way towards making them tolerable.

Next week, the agony continues!