Love On The Lens: The Amy Fisher Story (dir by Andy Tennant)


Poor Mary Jo Buttafuoco!

As seen in the 1993 made-for-tv movie, The Amy Fisher Story, Mary Jo (Laurie Paton) was just a normal Long Island housewife.  She was married to an auto mechanic named Joey (Anthony John Denison).  She had a family and a nice house and a seemingly perfect life.  But, one day, a teenage girl named Amy Fisher (played by a young Drew Barrymoe) showed up at her front door and claimed that her younger sister was having an affair with Joey.  When Mary Jo accused Amy of lying and then said she was going to call her husband, Amy pulled a gun and shot Mary Jo in the head.  That Mary Jo survived, albeit with partial facial paralysis, was a miracle.

The Amy Fisher Story was the third of the movies to be based on the true story of Amy Fisher and her affair with Joey Buttafuoco.  If Casualties of Love portrayed Amy as being an obsessed stalker who targeted a saintly man and if Amy Fisher: My Story portrayed Amy as a vulnerable teen who was groomed by a sleazy older man, The Amy Fisher Story suggests that perhaps the truth was somewhere in between.  As played by Drew Barrymore, Amy Fisher is immature, unstable, and self-destructive even before she meets Joey Buttafuoco.  As played by Anthony John Denison, Joey is a cocky and arrogant womanizer who grooms a teenage girl and leads her to believe that the only thing keeping them from being truly together is the fact that he has a wife.  (If Casualties portrayed Joey as being a dumb, salt-of-the-Earth type of guy and Amy Fisher: My Story portrayed him as being coldly manipulative and cruel, The Amy Fisher Story portrays him as being a self-centered idiot who did whatever he felt like doing without thinking about any possible consequences.)  Of all the performers who played Amy and Joey, Drew Barrymore and Anthony John Denison are the most convincing.  On the one hand, that lends a credibility to this film’s version of the events that led to the shooting of Mary Jo.  On the other hand, it also means that neither of the main characters is particularly likable.

The film instead tries to make a hero out of a reporter named Amy Pagnozzi (Harley Jane Kozak), who finds herself assigned to follow the Amy Fisher story when she would much rather be reporting on the upcoming presidential election.  Pagnozzi pops up throughout the story, commenting on the media feeding frenzy and generally acting annoyed by the whole thing.  The problem with this approach is that, for all of Pagnozzi’s condemnation of the country’s tabloid mentality, she’s still a part of the monster.  It’s hard to have sympathy for someone complaining about how a story is covered when they’re the one doing the covering.

Interestingly, for a film that condemns that way the story was covered, The Amy Fisher Story is probably the most tabloid-y of the three films.  Every sordid detail — from Amy and Joey’s motel meetings to Amy’s work as an escort to her subsequent dalliance with a gym owner — is provided in artfully filmed detail.  The result is a film that can feel a bit over-the-top but that’s exactly the right approach to take when it comes to a story like this.  When you’re making a movie about a suburban teenage escort who shoots her boyfriend’s wife, there’s really not much need or room for subtlety.  The Amy Fisher Story works because it fully embraces the melodrama and it features a performance from Drew Barrymore that remind us that, back before she became a permanently cheerful talk show host, Drew was a force of pure chaos.

When it comes to the story of the Fishers and the Buttafuocos, this is the film to see.

Cleaning Out The DVR: Turkey Hollow (dir by Kirk Thatcher)


turkeyhollow-1

Turkey Hollow was the final Lifetime film on my DVR.  I watched it when it originally premiered on November 21st and I was actually surprised to discover that I enjoyed it.  I’m not sure why it take me so long to get around to writing a review.  It probably had something to do with the holidays…

And speaking of holidays, Turkey Hollow is a Thanksgiving film!  There’s a surprising lack of Thanksgiving films.  There’s a countless number of horror-themed Halloween films and there are millions of Christmas movies but, with the exception of Turkey Hollow and that slasher film that Eli Roth said he might make some day, Thanksgiving has always been curiously underrepresented.  So, let’s start this review by thanking the makers of Turkey Hollow for paying some respect to Thanksgiving…

As for the film itself, it takes place in a town called Turkey Hollow.  The economy of Turkey Hollow is entirely built around raising turkeys to be killed for Thanksgiving.  The most powerful man in town is evil old Eldridge Sump (Linden Banks), who pumps his turkeys full of dangerous drugs and chemicals.

One of the few people willing to stand up to Eldridge is a hippie vegan named Cly (Mary Steenburgen).  As the film begins, Cly is being visited by brother (Joey Harrington) and his two children.  At first, Annie (Genevieve Buechner) and her younger brother, Tim (Graham Verchere) struggle to get used to life Aunt Cly’s house.  Not only does Cly not eat meat but she doesn’t have wi-fi either!  Seriously, it’s crazy…

Tim becomes fascinated by the legend of the Hoodoo, a creature that is said to live in the wilderness around Turkey Hollow.  One day, while at searching for it, he accidentally releases all of Eldridge’s turkeys.  Now, under the bizarre bylaws of Turkey Hollow, Clay will automatically lose her property unless she comes up with $10,000.

However, Tim and Annie have a plan!  They’re going to track down the Hoodoo, take a picture, and sell it to a tabloid.  However, while out searching, they don’t come across the Hoodoo.  Instead, they discover four other bizarre creatures.

turkeyhollow-2

The monsters — which were created by the same people who created the Muppets — are obviously Turkey Hollow‘s main attraction.  They were also the main reason why I felt some trepidation about watching the film.  From the commercials, they looked like they might be a little bit too cutesy.  I was terrified that they would spend the entire movie breaking out into song.  But, when I watched the movie, the creatures actually turned out to be so ugly that they were adorable.  They were cute but they were never cutesy and I appreciated that.

Anyway, Turkey Hollow turned out to be a lot better than I thought it would.  It’s a film for kids but, at the same time, there’s a few jokes for the adults (mostly dealing with Cly’s use of marijuana) and, in the role of narrator, Ludacris is often quick to point out the film’s more … well, ludicrous moments.  At its best, his narration is reminiscent of Aubrey Plaza’s voice over as Grumpy Cat in Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever.

We definitely need more Thanksgiving movies and Turkey Hollow is a good enough start.

Cleaning Out The DVR: Wish Upon A Christmas (dir by Terry Ingram)


WishUponAChristmas

After finishing up with A Gift-Wrapped Christmas, it was time to move onto the final Lifetime Christmas film on my DVR, Wish Upon A Christmas.  Wish Upon A Christmas premiered on December 13th and, much like Becoming Santa, The Flight Before Christmas, and Last Chance For Christmas, it features Santa as a matchmaker.

Well, maybe it does.  Though he has the beard and the jolly attitude, the film is somewhat ambiguous as to whether or not Mr. Tomte (Kevin McNulty) is actually Santa Claus or not.  The facts certainly suggests that he may be.  Before Mr. Tomte shows up in town, Danny (Dylan Kingwell) does make a wish that Santa could bring his single father, Jesse (Aaron Ashmore), a girlfriend.  And then, one night, a bright light flashes in the sky and there’s an explosion in the distance as something crashes to the ground.  Was it a meteorite or was it Santa’s sleigh?  Who can say?  But Danny does come across a silver bauble that Mr. Tomte is somewhat desperately searching for.  Is it just a family heirloom and or is it, as Danny suspects, filled with the magic that allows Mr. Tomte to fly his sleigh?

Meanwhile, Jesse is the much beloved owner of a company that makes hand-crafted ornaments.  He inherited the business from his parents and Jesse is a big believer in tradition.  Despite the fact that it’s cutting into profits, he insists that every ornament be hand-made and that his workers take their time to make each one perfect.  His workers are so happy that they even hum Christmas carols while they’re working.

Unfortunately, the big mean corporate world does not understand what makes Jesse’s business so special.  They send efficiency expert Amelia (Larisa Oleynik) to inspect the company and make some recommendations.  Much like George Clooney in Up In the Air, Amelia makes her living by firing people and convincing them that it’s for their own good.  However, as soon as Amelia arrives in town, she finds it difficult to do her job.  For one thing, she grew up in the town and she’s always had a crush on Jesse.  Secondly, it turns out that she’s not as cold-hearted as she believes.

So, will Amelia fire everyone at the factory?  Or will Danny’s wish come true?

Well, you already know the answer.  This is a Lifetime Christmas movie and there’s nothing really surprising about it.  However — and yes, I do realize that this has become a reoccurring theme when it comes to my Lifetime Christmas movie reviews — Wish Upon A Christmas is such a sweet and good-intentioned film that it would really be silly to be overly critical of it.  You know what you’re getting when you watch a Christmas movie on Lifetime and Wish Upon A Christmas delivers.

Add to that, Kevin McNulty makes for a very likable Santa.  Next year, he should co-star in a movie with The Flight Before Christmas‘s Brian Doyle-Murray in which they play the competing Santa brothers.  It’ll be fun!

Cleaning Out the DVR: Becoming Santa (dir by Christie Will)


Happy holidays!  Well, the year is almost over and soon, it will be time to look back upon all of the films that Lifetime aired over 2015 and announce my picks for the best.  However, before I do that, I need to take a look at the many Lifetime holiday movies that I currently have recorded on the DVR.  (I also need to clear up some space for 2016 because, seriously, that DVR fills up quickly!)

That’s right, it is the season for Lifetime Christmas movies!  And I’m not complaining.  (Or, at the very least, I’m not complaining too much.)  Myself, I love Lifetime movies because of the melodrama, the outrageous plot twists, the out-of-control teenagers, and the psycho boyfriends.  Lifetime Christmas movies tend to be a bit more life-affirming than your typical Lifetime film.  After spending 11 months watching films like Stolen From The Suburbs, Cleveland Abduction, The Bride He Bought Online, and A Deadly Adoption, it takes a bit of adjustment to then watch something like Becoming Santa.  It’s not that Becoming Santa doesn’t have its own merits.  It’s just that it’s so dramatically different from what we usually expect to see on Lifetime.

michael-gross-becoming-santa-lifetime

Becoming Santa was the first movie that I rewatched in my attempt to clean out the DVR for the holidays.  It originally aired on Lifetime on December 12th.

Conner (Jesse Hutch) works for a toy company and is frustrated by the fact that he can’t get children to put down their phones long enough to get excited over a toy horse that he wants to mass produce.  However, despite his work frustrations, Conner is still happy because he’s in love with Holly Claus (Laura Bell Bundy).  In fact, he’s decided that the Christmas holiday would be the perfect time to ask Holly to marry him.  But first, he wants to get the blessing of Holly’s father.

That might be difficult, Holly explains, because her parents live up north.  Way up north.

However, Conner will not be dissuaded.  And, before you can say Meet The Parents and Little Fockers, Conner is heading up north to meet Holly’s parents.  Of course, on the way up north, Conner is conveniently passed out while Holly takes him through the secret portal that leads to the North Pole…

That’s right!  Holly Claus is the daughter of Santa Claus (Michael Gross) and Mrs. Santa (Meredith Baxter).  It takes Conner a while to realize this, though the fact that his future father-in-law has a big white beard and employs an elf named Mario (Gabe Khouth) should have been a big clue.  However, once Conner does figure it out, he’s okay with it.

But will he be okay with the fact that, if he marries Holly, he’ll be expected to take over the role of Santa Claus?  And, for that matter, how can klutzy Conner hope to compete with Holly’s ex-boyfriend, Jack Frost (Tony Cavalero)?  After all, Jack and Holly have so much in common…

As far as Lifetime holiday movies are concerned, I thought Becoming Santa was actually really cute.  The entire cast had a really sweet chemistry, Gabe Khouth brought an unexpected edge to the character of Mario the Elf, and Tony Cavalero was a lot of fun as Jack Frost.  Yes, I did have a hard time believing that Conner would miss so many obvious clues as to who Holly’s parents truly were but then again, it’s a Christmas movie on Lifetime.  It’s probably not too much to ask us to suspend our disbelief just a little bit!

Becoming Santa was a sweet movie.  It’s scheduled to be rebroadcast on Lifetime on Christmas Day.