Retro Television Review: T and T 3.20 “Wild Willie and the Waves”

Posted on October 25, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, the second-to-last episode of T and T is all about the Czar of Canadian Surf Guitar!

Episode 3.20 “Wild Willie and the Waves”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on May 19th, 1990)

A fat bald man named Willie (Gordon Masten) walks into Decker’s gym and tells Turner that he needs helps getting into shape. Turner looks at Willie and says, “That’s a lot to take off, brother.” Willie explains that he’s planning on making a comeback. “A come back from what?” Turner growls. Willy reveals that he’s actually Wild Willy, the Czar of Canadian surf guitar!

T.S. Turner has never heard of Wild Willy but Decker is a huge fan. He’s even written a song called Surf Cincinnati, in tribute to his hero. However, Decker points out that Wild Willy died years ago in a plane crash in Brazil. Willy says that his manager convinced him to fake his own death as a way to push up record sales. Willy says that he’s spent the past two years lost in the Brazilian jungle. (So how did he get so fat?) Decker believes him but Turner is skeptical.

But, after Wild Willy tries to break into his old house to see his wife Francine (Terri Hawkes) and confront his manager, Big Steve (Nigel Bennett), Turner starts to change his mind. Big Steve claims that this Wild Willy is an imposter but, after Willy is nearly killed by a miswired electric guitar, Turner does some digging and discovers that Big Steve is about to sign a record deal to release all of Wild Willy’s previously unreleased material. “Willy is worth more dead than alive!” Terri exclaims.

Fear not. It all works out. Big Steve is defeated by Turner, Willy, and the power of rock and roll. Wild Willy doesn’t lose any weight but he still makes a comeback. He also steals Decker’s song and turns it into a hit. Decker is heart-broken but Terri says, “That’s rock and roll!” Hey, Terri — you’re a lawyer. Maybe you could help Decker file a lawsuit as opposed to just making fun of the poor guy? I mean, it seems like a good idea to me but what do I know?

This episode felt very familiar. People were always wandering into Decker’s Gym and claiming to be someone famous. The main problem with this particular episode is that Wild Willy was such an annoying and over-the-top character that it was hard to really care about whether or not he made his comeback or not. Add to that, why is Decker writing songs about Cincinnati when it’s totally obvious that T and T takes place in Canada?

Next week …. it’s the final episode of T and T! How will the saga end?

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.17 “Nightmare”

Posted on October 4, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Terri is approached by a man who claims to be a political refugee. But is he really? It’s a good thing T.S. Turner doesn’t have anything better to do than help her out.

Episode 3.17 “Nightmare”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on April 28th, 1990)

While walking down the street in Canada, Terri is approached by a desperate man (William Colgate), who introduces himself as Sebastian Fuentes. He explains that he was a newspaper editor in his native country of San Miguel. After a left-wing death squad killed his family, Sebastian fled to North America. Now, he needs Terri’s help to be designated a refugee. He claims that there are people from San Miguel who want him dead and, for that reason, he cannot risk going to the authorities or even being seen in Terri’s office. He says he has to hide, no matter what.

Terri doesn’t know anything about immigration law. Both T.S Turner and a sleazy lawyer named Kerr (Don Allison) warn her that she shouldn’t be so quick to believe Sebastian’s story. But something about Sebastian’s fear touches Terri’s heart and she agrees to help him.

Unfortunately, it turns out that both Turner and Kerr were correct. Sebastian is actually a colonel who murdered the real Sebastian. The nightmares that haunt him are not about watching his family being killed but instead about being the killer himself. The people who are searching for him are not government agents but instead the relatives of the people who he victimized in his home country. Eventually, Sebastian’s real identity is discovered by some fellow refugees (one of whom is played by a young Jill Hennessy) and he ends up in prison, haunted by his crimes.

This was an unusually serious episode of T and T. Indeed, it was shot more like an episode of Monsters than a typical episode of this show. Unfortunately, with the exception of Don Allison’s performance as the sleazy Mr. Kerr, the acting in this episode was pretty dodgy and it was easy to guess that Sebastian was going to turn out to not be who he said he was.

Probably the most interesting thing about this episode is that it aired 34 years ago but the issues that it deals with are the same issues that are going on today. Dictators are still coming to power and abusing their citizens and, as a result, refugees are still flooding over the border. The immigration system is still broken and it doesn’t appear that anyone is truly interested in finding a way to fix it. This episode aired in 1990, long before men like Venezuela’s Maduro came to power. The issues that are dealt with in this episode existed before the current crop of dictators and they will undoubtedly continue even after people like Maduro fade into history.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.15 “The Butler Duet”

Posted on September 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week …. oh my God, it’s a surprisingly good episode of T and T!

Episode 3.15 “The Butler Duet”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on April 14th, 1990)

Sometimes, one screenshot tells you everything that you need to know about an episode.

In this episode, T.S. is indeed hired to bodyguard a parrot. The parrot, named Higgins, has been named the sole beneficiary of Mrs. Wells’s will. Mrs. Wells’s children (one of whom is played by comedian Colin Mochrie) want to declare their mother incompetent. While Terri does her best to defend Mrs. Wells in court, T.S. works with Mrs. Wells’s butler (Ian White) to protect the parrot.

How does T.S. protect the parrot? By putting on a tuxedo and working as the Butler’s assistant. “Dinner is served,” T.S. Turner growls at one point. Of course, to the surprise of no one, it turns out that the Butler is really the one whom is behind the effort to make Mrs. Wells look mentally incompetent. “It’s always the butler,” Turner growls after grabbing the Butler in the courtroom. Turner, it should be noted, does a lot of growling in this episode and I was happy about that. What’s the point of casting Mr. T if he’s not going to growl at anyone?

With the Butler exposed, Mrs. Wells is ruled to be mentally competent and I guess that means that Higgins is going to be one rich bird. Good for Higgins. I like parrots. I could never own one, of course, not with my love cats and my dislike of hearing my own words repeated back at me. But still, they’re good for television shows and movies. I think it’s a shame that Higgins didn’t have more of a Canadian accent but whatever. You can’t have everything, I guess.

(How do parrots learn to talk? And how difficult would it be for me to teach a parrot to like give an hour long speech or something? I think next year’s state of the union address should be delivered by a parrot. I mean, if a parrot were president, there would be no war. There would be no government and things could go bad really quickly. It would probably work better as a TV show than a real-life thing.)

This was an incredibly silly episode but it was also oddly likable. For one thing, the judge in the courtroom was fascinated by the parrot and it was hard not to smile at him trying to get the parrot to talk while the witnesses testified. As well, the episode was smart enough to realize that there’s no way that Mr. T cannot be amusing while wearing a tuxedo.

By T and T season 3 standards, this was a surprisingly good episode.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.14 “Mr. Big”

Posted on September 13, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Fritz and Nobby return and Terri actually gets to do lawyer stuff for once.

Episode 3.14 “Mr. Big”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on April 7th, 1990)

Fritz (Dominic Cuzzocrea) and Nobby (Avery Saltzman) are back!

Fritz and Nobby were two incompetent crooks who appeared in a handful of episodes of T and T. When they first appeared, they were murderers who tried to kill T.S. But, T and T being the type of show that it was, they soon become lovable bumblers who constantly needed Turner to save them when their plans went awry. In this episode, Fritz and Nobby hire Terri to defend them when they’re accused of running the biggest theft ring in Canada. Terri’s defense is that Fritz and Nobby are too stupid to be masterminds and she calls T.S. to the stand to testify to just how dumb the two criminals are. In the end, the real Mr. Big is exposed and the judge agrees that Fritz and Nobby are too stupid to go to prison. Unfortunately, the stupidity defense rarely works in real life so don’t try it the next time your in court. Then again, if you’re taking legal advice from T and T or from someone who is reviewing T and T, there’s probably no hope to begin with.

(Then again, it’s totally possible that the defense might work in Canada. Canadian judges are probably nicer than American judges.)

Turner being called to the stand does lead to quite a few flashbacks, though not enough to make this an official clip show. Interestingly, a lot of the flashbacks are taken from the episode that aired right before this one. So, in case you forgot what happened last week, this episode is here to remind you of the time that T.S. Turner faked his own death in order to outwit a superstitious gypsy. What? Seriously, I’m still trying to figure that episode out.

Usually, Fritz and Nobby kind of annoy me but they actually made me smile in this episode. They may be criminals but they’re also friends and there’s something sweet about Fritz not wanting Nobby to killed in prison. As well, this episode actually allows Terri to enter a courtroom and show off her legal skills. There’s nothing all that believable about T and T’s courtroom scenes but at least this episode exists to remind us that Terri does more than just hang out in Decker’s gym.

As with most of season 3’s episodes, Mr. T seems to be bored with the whole thing but Dominic Cuzzocrea and Avery Saltman make for a likable comedy team. By T and T standards — and especially by season 3 standards — this was an enjoyable episode.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.12 “Thief of Hearts”

Posted on July 5, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Terri’s ex-boyfriend is in town and T.S. is largely indifferent.

Episode 3.12 “Thief of Hearts”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on March 24th, 1990)

Terri’s ex-boyfriend from college, Zack (Patrick McKenna), is in town. He tells her that he’s in town testifying as an expert witness in a trial but soon, he also reveals that he’s involved in another get-rich-quick-scheme. He’s looking for investors to fund a search for a treasure that was lost at sea. While Turner reacts with his usual indifference, Terri worries that Zack is conning all of her friends.

This was a bizarrely inconsequential episode of a show that, by its third season, had pretty much lost whatever reason it once had for existing. It’s an episode about Terri dealing with her past and her future but since we really don’t know much about Terri — beyond the fact that she suddenly showed up at the start of the third season and everyone on the show has been acting like she’s always been around — there’s not really much emotional resonance to be found in an episode about her having to deal with a former boyfriend who might be a conman. Watching this episode, I again reflected on how weird it is that no one ever mentions Amy or why she’s no longer on the show. I’ve always assumed that, since they share the same last name, Terri is meant to be Amy’s sister but it seems odd that her ex-boyfriend wouldn’t even ask how Amy or any other member of Terri’s family is doing.

This episode wasn’t a total loss. Patrick McKenna gave a pretty good performance as Zack. And I’ll admit that I did laugh when Detective Hargrove went from trying to arrest Zack to agreeing to invest in his scheme. For the most part, though, this was an episode that didn’t add up to much. Mr. T looked even more bored than usual.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.9 “Movie Madness”

Posted on May 17, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, things get really, really silly.

Episode 3.9 “Movie Madness”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on March 3rd, 1990)

Fritz and Nobby are back!

Who?

Fritz (Dominic Cuzzocrea) and Nobby (Avery Saltzman) are two criminals who appeared in two episode of the second season of T and T. The first time they appeared, they pulled a gun on T.S. Turner and threatened to kill him, The second time, they were portrayed a bit more comedically as lovable bunglers. This third episode finds Fritz and Nobby at their most cartoonish.

Fritz wants to rob a Chinese jewelry store that happens to be right next to Decker’s gym. So, he and Nobby walk into the gym and tell Decker that they’ve reformed and they want to shoot a boxing movie starring him. Decker agrees to act. (“I could have been a contender!” he announces.) Then Terri shows up and demands to know what Fritz and Dobby are doing at the gym so they ask her if she wants to be the female lead. (“I have always depended on strangers being kind,” she says.) The boxing movie becomes a love story. Then, when the gym starts shaking due to the efforts to break through the wall that the gym shares with the jewelry store, Fritz explains that they’re testing the special effects for the big earthquake scene. It’s a boxing love story disaster film!

Where is T.S. Turner during all of this? Well, he doesn’t show up until the final 10 minutes of the episode. He immediately suspects that Fritz and Nobby are up to no good. “I’m going to pull the plug on your permanently!” he growls.

One would think that Fritz and Nobby would be smart enough to get out of the gym but they still try to blow up the wall, even with Turner nearby. That’s a big mistake as Turner proceeds to grab them and turn them over to the police.

What a weird episode. First off, Decker has been dumb in the past but he’s never been this dumb. Secondly, Terri apparently knows Fritz and Nobby despite the fact that she wasn’t around during the second season. Not only has this show failed to explain why Amy is no longer on the show but it also continually acts as if Terri has always been present despite not showing up until the start of third season. We’re just mean to accept that Teri has always been the second T in T and T. (How Orwellian.) Finally, T.S. Turner is absent for most of the episode. Why would you go to the trouble to build a show around Mr. T and then not use him?

This was all pretty silly and pretty dumb, even by T and T standards. Remember when this show at least pretended to be a crime drama?

Oh well. There’s only a handful of episodes left! We’ll make it.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.3 “Halfway to Nowhere”

Posted on April 5, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Terri and Turner take down the loathsome head of a halfway house.

Episode 3.3 “Halfway to Nowhere”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired January 20th, 1990)

Roman (Louis Ferreira) is an angry young man who is on parole and who has been living at a halfway house that is run by Eddy (Danny Pawlick). When Roman discovers that Eddy has been harassing Roman’s girlfriend, Sissy (Krista Bridges), Roman attacks Eddy. Eddy kicks Roman out of the halfway house and attempts to have him sent back to prison.

Terri just happens to be in the police station when Roman is brought in and, just like Amy used to do before her mysterious disappearance, Terri declares herself to be Roman’s attorney. (One gets the feeling that the show’s producers just crossed out Amy’s name on a bunch of scripts and wrote in “Terri.”) Roman turns out to be a terrible client who refuses to talk to anyone, including the attorney who is trying to keep him out of jail. Terri finally calls up T.S. Turner and asks him for help.

Turner’s reaction is to growl about how late it is.

Seriously, what’s going on with Turner this season? He’s in an even worse mood than usual. Maybe he’s mad because Amy has mysteriously vanished without explanation. After all, Turner owed Amy. Amy was the one who got him out of prison. It made sense that Turner would always be willing to drop everything to help out Amy. Terri is just some random lawyer who has shown up out of nowhere.

Terri, it should be said, is not a very good lawyer. At the parole hearing, she puts Eddy on the stand and asks him a bunch of questions, despite not having a clue as to how Eddy is going to respond. She also dramatically announces that she will be calling Sissy as a witness before she knows whether or not Sissy has agreed to testify. When Turner steps into the courtroom without Sissy and shakes his head because Sissy refuses to testify, Terri is forced to walk back her words. I doubt that parole board appreciated that and they probably took their frustration out on Terri’s client.

In the end, Sissy does agree to wear a wire and Eddy stupidly talks about all the crimes that he’s committed as the head of a halfway house. Eddy ends up getting arrested and Sissy and Roman are reunited briefly. That said, it appears that Roman is still going to go back to jail because Terri is a terrible attorney.

On the plus side, this episode featured one of the most loathsome villains to ever show up on T&T and it was satisfying to watch Terri and Turner take him down. On the other hand, it would have been even more satisfying if Terri wasn’t terrible at her job and if Turner didn’t seem to be annoyed by even having to be in her presence. This episode was a mixed bag but at least it looked like Eddy was going away for a long time.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.2 “Hargrove’s Call”

Posted on March 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, T.S. investigates a shooting involving a retired police officer. I wonder what Amy would think of all this.

Episode 3.2 “Hargrove’s Call”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on January 13th, 1990)

Bitter, retired cop E.V. Richter (J. Winston Carroll) lives alone, in a house that sits in a neighborhood that has seen better days. He spends his days drinking and his nights fighting with the teenagers who live in the neighborhood. One night, the teens are setting off firecrackers in an alley behind Richter’s house. When Richter yells at them, one of the teens starts to approach his house with a firecracker. Richter shoots him and then tries to plant a gun on the body. However, by the time the police arrive, the gun has disappeared.

The wounded teen’s mother recruits Terri and Turner to prove that her son wasn’t carrying a gun when he was shot. While Turner investigates and tries to discover what happened to the gun, Detective Dick Hargrove (David Hemblen) most deal with his own suspicion that his former colleague is not being honest about what happened.

This was an interesting episode, in that Richter was definitely the bad guy but he also had a legitimate reason to be upset. Setting off firecrackers behind someone’s house is pretty obnoxious and responding to homeowner’s complaint by trying to toss a firecracker at him is …. well, actually, it’s kind of illegal. At least, it is down here. Maybe it’s different up in Canada. Maybe in Canada, they settle disagreements with firecrackers all the time, I don’t know. That said, when Richter tries to plant the gun, he reveals that he’s gone over the edge and it becomes apparent that if he hadn’t shot the kid over the firecrackers, he would have shot him over something else. T and T will never be known as a nuanced or particularly thoughtful show but at least this episode tried to do something more than just follow the standard “Mr. T growls and beats people up” plot.

That said, I still find it weird and distracting that everyone on the show acts as if Terri has always lived in the neighborhood and has always been some sort of crusader. Two episodes into season three and there’s still been no mention of what happened to Amy or why Terri is now suddenly the one in charge. Are we meant to assume that Terri was always around but not just seen during the first two seasons? Or did something happen to Amy that required Terri to move to Toronto or wherever this show is supposed to take place? The lack of even the most rudimentary of explanations feels weird and distracting. Obviously, T and T was never a stickler for continuity but having a major character just vanish without explanation is a big deal. Shouldn’t Turner be out looking for Amy or something?

Maybe that’ll happen next week. We’ll see!

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.1 “Cracked”

Posted on March 22, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the final season of T and T begins with some changes!

Episode 3.1 “Cracked”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on January 6th, 1990)

The first episode of the third season begins with all new opening credits. We no longer hear about T.S. Turner’s backstory. I guess it no longer matters that Turner was framed for a murder that he didn’t commit and that crusading lawyer Amy Taler got him out and put him in a suit and tie to work as a private investigator.

That’s not all though. Amy herself is no longer listed in the opening credits. Instead, there’s a new T in T & T. Kristina Nicoll joins the cast as “Terri Taler.” Judging by her last name, it’s easy to guess that she is meant to be Amy’s sister. Of course, if the credits didn’t specifically tell you that Terri’s last name is Taler, you wouldn’t have the slightest idea who she was. This episode begins with Terri already well-established as a neighborhood activist and as Turner’s partner. Amy is not even mentioned. It’s as if she just vanished and suddenly, there was Terri.

I have to admit that really bothered me. It’s true that Amy didn’t get to do much during the second season and I can understand why Alex Amini might have wanted to do other things than just stand in the background while Mr. T growled. But Amy was still technically the co-lead and it just feel wrong to not even have someone say, “Hey, what happened to Amy?”

(Joe Casper is also gone without explanation but Joe was never that important of a character to begin with.)

As for the episode itself, the neighborhood is sick of being home to a crack house. While Terri encourages everyone to protest in front of the house and to take pictures of anyone going inside (which sounds like a good way to get some people killed, to be honest), T.S. tracks down the owner of the house and demands that he work with the police to get the crack dealers out of there. T.S even goes undercover as a drug dealer so that he can get into the house himself….

Seriously, in what world, could Mr. T ever go undercover? I mean, even in-universe, it’s established that T.S. is one of the people protesting the crack house. How are the dealers not going to recognize T.S. Turner? And before anyone says it’s because they’re smoking crack, let me just say that I have some doubts as to whether or not they actually were using that house as a crack house. Seriously, it was the neatest and cleanest crack house that I’ve ever seen.

(Not that I’ve seen many crack houses, mind you. I once lived across the street from someone who stole copper wiring for a living and his house was a mess so I assume a crack house would be even worse.)

Eh. The third and final season is not off to a great start, you all. Hopefully, next week, we’ll get an explanation as to why there’s now a different T in T and T.

Retro Television Reviews: T and T 2.15 “Jump Start”

Posted on February 3, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Wait a minute! This isn’t Friday afternoon! This is Saturday morning! Why am I posting my review of this show now?

I’m only human. After a long week, I was so exhausted on Friday that I couldn’t even find the strength to former coherent thoughts about a show as simple as T and T. So, I put off the review until this morning. Of course, I’m still tired. All of this thinking is exhausting. Roll the opening credits so I can take a 90 second nap.

Episode 2.15 “Jump Start”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on February 20th, 1989)

In a rare nod to maintaining some sort of continuity from episode to episode, this week’s episode of T and T opens with a flashback to a previous story. We once again witness how two hapless crooks — Fritz (Dominic Cuzzocrea) and Finn (Ron Gabriel) — tried to pull a gun on T.S. and Decker, just for the clip to fall out of the weapon. At the time, my feeling was that the two crooks were both too incompetent to be viewed as a legitimate threat and this follow-up episode proved me right.

Fritz and Finn are back on the streets, having had their criminal charges dismissed on a technicality. They want revenge on Turner for sending them to jail so they decide to steal his car. However, because they’re both incredibly incompetent, they have to ask Max (Kathleen Laskey, who also played Marlene on Check It Out!) to steal it for them. Just as with so many episodes of Check It Out!, Laskey was this episode’s saving grace. She brought so much badass attitude to the character that you couldn’t help but cheer Max on as she stole Turner’s car.

Unfortunately, Laskey really isn’t in much of this episode. For that matter, Alex, Decker, and even Turner have reduced roles. The majority of the episode is devoted to Fritz and Finn and their total and complete incompetence. I get that it was meant to be comedic but these two characters were so stupid and so foolish and so obviously doomed to failure that there was absolutely no tension as to whether or not Turner would be able to get his car back. As far as I could tell, Turner didn’t even bother to report that his car had been stolen. He just tracked the two guys down and took it back. That’s the power of T and T!

Anyway, this was a throw away episode. I’m not sure why, out of all the villains that have been on this show, T and T decided to bring back the least impressive of them. Episodes like this leave little doubt that all of the serious criminals left Toronto as soon as Mr. T showed up.