So, I Watched Head Cheerleader Dead Cheerleader (2000, Dir. by Jeff Miller)


Heather Connelly (Tasha Biering) is the head cheerleader at her high school.  The football team is struggling and some people think that it is because they have been jinxed by their terrible cheer squad.  One night, while she is at home alone, Heather keeps getting calls from a stalker while someone kills the cheer coach and all of the other cheerleaders.  The budget is low and the acting is terrible but the killer carries a sharp blade and every kill features a close-up of a body part getting cut off so if you’re into that, I guess this movie is for you.

There were two things that stood out about this movie.  Blaming the cheer squad for your football team sucking is not cool but it is something that happens.  I cheered in high school and we always took more blame for our team losing than the team itself did.  It was weird because we really weren’t even a big sports school.  We didn’t even have our own athletic field.  Our football team had to go over to our rival high school to practice!  But somehow, it was the cheerleaders who got all the dirty looks whenever the team went o-10.

Secondly, the movie opens with a voice mail to the director for a cheer mom threatening to sue him if “your movie Head Cheerleader Dead Cheerleader” led to any trouble for her daughter’s cheer squad.  I have no doubt that the voice mail was real because I met a lot of crazy cheer moms when I was in high school.  You know those stories you hear about mothers who get so invested in their daughter’s cheerleader career that they tribe to bribe the cheer coach or hire a hitman to take out their rival?  We invented that in Texas!  Taking a director to court is actually one of the less extreme things that I’ve heard about a cheer mom threatening to do.  I think the mom was worrying over nothing, though.  No one would mistake anyone in this movie for an actual cheerleader.

 

October True Crime: Chicago Massacre: Richard Speck (dir by Michael Feifer)


Richard Speck was the worst of the worst.

A petty criminal-turned-drifter, Richard Speck fled Texas to avoid being sentenced to prison for his part in a grocery store robbery.  He eventually ended up in Chicago, where he lived with his sister and her husband and found occasional work as a seaman.  When he couldn’t get work on a boat, the alcoholic Speck supported himself by mugging and burglarizing.  It’s not known when he committed his first murder, though it is suspected that it occurred back in Texas.  It is known that, in July of 1966, Speck’s sister and brother-in-law finally got sick of dealing with him as a houseguest and Speck ended staying in a series of rooming houses and homeless shelters.  On July 13th, the 24 year-old Speck mugged and raped at 53 year-old woman before then breaking into a townhouse that was occupied by nine student nurses.  Over the course of the night, he raped and murdered eight of nurses.  The only survivor hid underneath a bed until Speck left.  She later told police that Speck spoke with a soft Southern accent, had an acne-scarred face, and a tattoo that read Born to Raise Hell.

It was the tattoo that led to his capture.  Two days after the murders, with the city of Chicago in an uproar and the police launching a city-wide manhunt to catch the killer, Richard Speck attempted to kill himself by slitting his wrists.  He was taken to Cook County Hospital, where Dr. LeRoy Smith saw Speck’s tattoo and called the police.

Though protesting his innocence, Speck was convicted of the murders and sentenced to die.  He was spared the death sentence when the Supreme Court briefly outlawed capital punishment.  From prison, Speck eventually admitted that he had killed the nurses but he claimed that he was so drunk and high that he had no idea what he was doing.  After Speck died of heart failure in 1991, a videotape would emerge of a cocky Speck telling his fellow prisoners that he knew exactly what he was doing and he never felt a bit of guilt.  “Just wasn’t their night,” was Speck’s explanation for why the murders happened.  Speck also said that if the public knew how much fun he was having in prison, they would have released him for sure.  Richard Speck is the type of evil specter who seems to exist to specifically challenge those of us who are opposed to the death penalty.  If anyone has ever deserved to be executed in the most painful way possible, it was Richard Speck.

The 2007 film Chicago Massacre stars Corin Nemec as Richard Speck and the film’s makeup department deserves a lot of credit for transforming the handsome and normally quite personable Corin Nemec into the horribly poc-marked Richard Speck.  Sometimes, monsters truly do look like monsters and that was definitely the case of Speck.  Nemec plays Speck as being a natural-born deviant, a soulless sociopath who has no control over his impulses and who never seems to understand why the world is so disgusted by his crimes.  It’s a truly frightening performance.

The rest of the film is a flawed and heavily fictionalized account of Speck’s crimes, imagining that Speck was actually a casual acquaintance of one of the nurses that he killed and suggesting that she was the main reason why he broke into the townhouse to begin with.  The history nerd of me cringed when a police chief (Tony Todd) announced that his lead detective (Andrew Divoff) only had two days to solve the murders because the Democratic Convention was coming up.  (Speck committed the murders in 1966, two years before the Democrats came to Chicago for their ill-fated convention.)  Todd’s police chief says that he’ll be forced to sweep the murders under the rug if they’re not solved quickly but I’m not really sure how that would happen, given the enormity of the crime and the panic that reportedly swept through Chicago as a result.  As much as I hate to single out any one performer for criticism (because I usually assume that a bad performance has more to do with the director and the editor than the actor), Joanne Chew, cast in the role of the sole survivor of Speck’s rampage, delivers her dialogue so awkwardly that it sabotages what should have been some of the strongest moments of the film.  (Then again, even the best actress would perhaps be challenged by a line like, “I will look the devil in the eye.”)

Filled with flashbacks to both the murder of the nurses and Speck’s life as Texas criminal, Chicago Massacre is an undeniably icky film but given that it’s about Richard Speck, it really should be.  When it comes to a criminal like Richard Speck, it’s always tempting to try to look at his life for clues as how to prevent a future Richard Speck from committing a similar crime.  But, with Speck, there’s little to be learned beyond the fact that he did what he did because he had no conscience or sense of guilt to mitigate his impulses.  Speck had a terrible childhood but many people have had terrible childhoods without turning into mass murderers.  Speck was mentally unwell but many people deal with their mental health without turning into mass murderers.  In the end, he was a monster.  Thankfully, he was also enough of a dumbass to get a tattoo that made it impossible for him to hide from his crimes.

What Lisa and the Snarkalecs Watched The Other Night #150: A Mother’s Revenge (dir by Fred Olen Ray)


On Saturday night, my friends the Snarkalecs and I turned over to the Lifetime Movie Network and we watched the premiere of the latest Fred Olen Ray thriller, A Mother’s Revenge!

amothersrevencgecrop

Why Were We Watching It?

Well, the obvious answer is that the film was on the Lifetime Movie Network and it was directed by Fred Olen Ray!  However, I have to admit that I nearly missed A Mother’s Revenge.  Because it was the night before Mother’s Day, Lifetime was planning on broadcasting a film about a basketball player and his mom.  I was definitely not looking forward to watching that but then my friend Trevor informed me that, on the Lifetime Movie Network, A Mother’s Revenge would be airing at the exact same time!  YAY!

I then went on twitter and I discovered that not only was A Mother’s Revenge the latest film from Fred Olen Ray but that it also involved Gerald Webb, the producer and star of A House Is Not A Home and the favorite actor of snarkalecs everywhere!  Once I discovered that all of my fellow snarkalecs would be taking part in the live tweet, there was no way that I wasn’t going to join them!

What Was It About?

It was about a mother and how she got revenge!

(That’s the one line version.)

More specifically, it’s the story of Jennifer (Jamie Luner), a pill-popping, recovering alcoholic who travels to Buffalo so that she can watch her daughter, Katey (Aubrey Whitby), graduate from college.  From the minute that Jennifer arrives, things refuse to work out the way that she wants.

First off, Katey wants to spend some time with her friends as opposed to hanging out with her mother.

Secondly, Jennifer’s ex-husband (Jason-Shane Scott) has also shown up for the graduation and tension, both sexual and otherwise, is everywhere.

Third, Jennifer accidentally grabbed the wrong bag at the airport.  Supercreepy Conner (Steven Brand) wants his bag back and he’s willing to both commit murder and kidnap Jennfer’s daughter to accomplish his goals.

And finally, Buffalo’s best detectives (played by Gerald Webb and Richard Lounello) suspect that Jennifer may be mentally unstable.  Once a dead body shows up, Jennifer automatically becomes their main suspect.

All in all, Jennifer has quite a bit to be upset about…

What Worked?

I liked A Mother’s Revenge.  Fred Olen Ray kept the action moving at a steady pace and I appreciated the way the film emphasized how one totally random mistake (like grabbing the wrong bag at the airport) can change someone’s life forever.  It nicely conformed into my own point-of-view, which is that the universe is basically as chaotic and unpredictable as a Werner Herzog documentary.

Jamie Luner appears in a lot of these movies and she knows how to balance melodrama and pathos.  She and Aubrey Whitby were totally believable as mother and daughter.  Also believable was Steven Brand, who was properly creepy as the sadistic Conner.

A Mother’s Revenge was shot on location in Buffalo and it must be said that the city looked really good.  The Mayor of Buffalo, Byron Brown, made a cameo appearance and who can blame him?  A Mother’s Revenge made me want to visit his town.

Another great thing about A Mother’s Revenge is that a lot of the film’s crew and cast joined in with the live tweet and they were all very gracious, informative, and handled the occasional snarkiness with class and good humor.  What I especially enjoyed was seeing some of the tweets from the various citizens of Buffalo who had been involved with the production.  It was one of the most positive live tweets that I’ve ever taken part in and it generated the type of good vibes that you normally don’t associate with film twitter.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked!

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

I’ve actually grabbed the worng bag before.  I did not get blackmailed as a result but maybe I was just lucky.  (However, I did get a week’s worth of new clothes, none of which really worked for me.  I was sad.  Hopefully, the Goodwill appreciated my donation.)

Lessons Learned

Be careful about grabbing the wrong bag.  And, if you do grab the one bag, don’t let anyone find out.