Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.11 “Games People Play/The Sweet Life”

Posted on September 23, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

“Smiles, everyone …. SMILES, DAMMIT!”

Episode 7.11 “Games People Play/The Sweet Life”

(Dir by Cliff Bole and Don Weiss, originally aired on January 14th, 1984)

Three women who all work for a toy company come to Fantasy Island. Nora Leonard (Lynda Day George) has closed off her heart after getting hurt in too many past relationships. Barbara Jessup (Jenilee Harrison) wants her boss to look past her appearance and realize that she really does have a brain to go with her beauty. Sandy Hoffman (Berlinda Tolbert) wants to have the courage to present her ideas….

Oh hey, it’s a Wizard of Oz thing! Except it’s not. There’s no Dorothy and there’s no Toto. There’s a corporate spy named Steven Curry (John McCook), who wants the details of the company’s new video game and who also falls for Nora. And there’s Dick York as Mr. Sutton, who wears a bowtie as all toy company execs do.

What there is not is an interesting fantasy. Even with three separate fantasies in one, this storyline was pretty blah. Everyone seemed a bit bored, even the usually dependable Lynda Day George.

The other fantasy was slightly more interesting, but only because it featured the great character actor Kevin McCarthy as Daniel Koster. Daniel wanted to give his wife and his children the lifestyle they could have had if Daniel had been rich. In fact, Daniel sent his family to Fantasy Island ahead of him so that they could enjoy being rich without him around. (What?) I was always under the impression that guests at the Island only stayed for a weekend. Daniel comes to the Island and discovers that his family appears to be very happy, even if his son is still writing bad poetry. (There’s no money in poetry, Daniel gruffly explains and, as a poet, I can say that’s very true.) Along with his son’s rhyming habits, Daniel has other things to deal with, like his bad heart.

In fact, Daniel dies of a heart attack while on the Island but not before realizing that his family always loved him, even if they weren’t rich. Having Daniel die was depressing. What made it even worse is that Roarke apparently knew Daniel was probably going to die on the Island but he didn’t really seem to do anything to try to prevent it from happening. Instead, he just made a bunch of cryptic comments to Lawrence about how Daniel’s weekend on Fantasy Island could be his last. Lawrence looked concerned but didn’t do anything to help. Why is Lawrence even there?

Eh, this episode. I always enjoy watching Kevin McCarthy and he gives a typically solid performance but otherwise, this was a disappointing trip to the Island.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.5 “Roarke’s Sacrifice/The Butler’s Affair”

Posted on August 12, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Roarke is haunted by a past love.

Episode 7.5 “Roarke’s Sacrifice/The Butler’s Affair”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on November 12th, 1983)

This is an odd episode. Both of the stories deal with love. In one of them, Lee Meriwether plays a woman who is in love with her butler, Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. She comes to Fantasy Island with a group of friends, all of whom are very judgmental about the idea of Meriwether dating a member of the help. Mr. Roarke deals with the situation by threatening to reveal all of their secrets. He explains that he does a thorough background check on everyone who comes to Fantasy Island. I’m not sure if I buy that because some really bad folks have come to the Island. Anyway, this story ends with Zimbalist starting to loosen up and Meriwether saying that she was going to continue to train him to be her boyfriend once they returned to the mainland. I’m not sure if this is so much a love story as much as it’s a “I want to have sex with someone who I pay so they can’t ever say no” story.

The other story is a bit more interesting. Julie Mars (Cyd Charisse, who I adore) is a dancer who walks with a cane. It turns out that she and Roarke have been in love for years and the implication is that Roarke spent time with her off of the Island. This is really a big deal. It goes against everything that has always been implied about Roarke in the past. Roarke never leaves the Island, that’s what we believed. It turns out we were wrong. He’s not only left the Island before but he’s fallen in love. Julie’s fantasy is to be able to dance again. Roarke grants her fantasy and Edmond Rome (Cesar Romero) wants to puts her in a show. Roarke knows that the only way Julie can continue to dance is if she forgets the love that she has for Roarke. That doesn’t quite make sense but Roarke just goes with it. She leaves the Island, acting as if Roarke is just a friendly acquaintance as opposed to being the love of her life.

That was sad! What made it especially sad is that Roarke doesn’t really have anyone to talk about all of this. Tattoo was close enough to being an equal that Roarke could open up to him. Lawrence is just a butler. Some people confide in their butler. Some people — as seen in this very episode — fall in love with their butler. Roarke, however, is lost without Tattoo.

Poor Roarke!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.17 “King of Burlesque/Death Games”

Posted on May 20, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“Smiles, everyone, smiles!” It’s time for another two fantasies.

Episode 6.17 “King of Burlesque/Death Games”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on March 12th, 1983)

I’m going to deal with the first of this week’s fantasies very quickly because, quite frankly, it’s not every interesting. Rich Little is Tom Vail, a wall street accountant who wants to be a burlesque comedian. He gets his fantasy. He performs at the Fantasy Island Burlesque Revival. He wears a hideous suit with a big bowtie. He falls in love with a dancer. The always likable Red Buttons appears as a Burlesque veteran. It’s not a bad fantasy but it’s not terribly interesting.

Meanwhile, Vanessa Walgren (Joanna Pettet) has come to the Island to compete in the “First Annual Fantasy Island Pentathlon.” However, Mr. Roarke knows that she’s there for another reason. She wants to kill him! A year ago, Vanessa’s husband was lost at sea while on his own fantasy. (He wanted to retrace the route of the Kon Tiki.) Vanessa blames Roarke and she’s put a bounty on his head. Roarke sighs and says, “Fine, but if you don’t kill me by the end of the weekend, you have to leave the Island and never bother me again.” Vanessa agrees….

WHAT!? What type of vengeance is that!? Seriously, if you’re obsessed with vengeance, you don’t just shrug and accept an arbitrary rule from the person you’re trying to kill.

Anyway, Roarke is the judge for the Pentathlon so he’s got various athletes trying to kill him over the course of the entire weekend. He even gets cut during a fencing match! (“If you can bleed, you can die!” Vanessa declares in a wonderfully over-the-top moment.) Whenever anyone fails to kill him, Roarke says, “Get off my Island!,” which is rally cool. Tattoo wonders why Roarke is allowing this to happen. Why doesn’t Roarke order Vanessa to get off the Island. Roarke is all like, “I can’t tell you, just trust me.” The final event is a skydiving competition and I’m not really sure how you compete at that but whatever. Despite Vanessa’s efforts to sabotage his parachute, Roarke lands safely.

Vanessa then offers him two glasses of wine. One glass is poisoned! Can Roarke pick the right glass? Roarke is like, “Screw this,” and finally reveals that Vanessa’s husband is not dead. Instead, he’s a secret agent who had to fake his own death but who is now ready to be reunited with Vanessa….

Again, WHAT!? Seriously, that came out of nowhere.

Reunited with her husband, Vanessa apologizes for trying to murder Roarke. Roarke says it’s fine because Mr. Roarke is very forgiving.

The burlesque fantasy was boring (loved the costumes, though!) but the revenge fantasy made up for it. I love it when Fantasy Island embraces the melodrama. Plus, this fantasy actually gave Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize quite a bit to do. All in all, this was a good trip to the Island!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.2 “Dancing Lady/The Final Round”

Posted on January 21, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Fantasy Island feels familiar.

Episode 6.2 “Dancing Lady/The Final Round”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on October 23rd, 1982)

It’s another dancing and boxing episode!

I have lost track of how many Fantasy Island stories have centered around either dancing or boxing but I know that they’ve been the subject of multiple episodes every season. The fantasies always seem to play out the same as well. A young boxer has a shot at the championship but taking one wrong blow could end their career or even their life. And a woman with a boring job — usually, she’s a receptionist — wants to be the world’s greatest dancer but, in the end, discovers that love is the most important thing. Usually, the familiarity of the stories is a part of Fantasy Island‘s charm but I have to admit that I spent this entire episode wondering if I had seen it before. The fantasies felt so familiar that, ultimately, everyone just seemed to be going through the motions.

The dancer was Kristy Lee (Lynda Goodfriend), who was given a special powder that would give her the ability to be the world’s greatest dancer. I know what you’re thinking and no, it was not cocaine. Instead, it was dust that had been gathered from the world’s greatest theaters and which had magical powers only when used on Fantasy Island. Using the dust, Kristy auditioned for a spot in a musical showcase starring Ray Tucker (Ken Berry), a down-on-his-luck dancer looking to make a comeback. Unfortunately, Kristy was so good that Ray feared she would overshadow him. Ray had to find his confidence and Kristy had to learn that she could dance beautifully even without the magic dust because, according to Roarke, the power of love is all one needs. (That laughter you hear is coming from every dance teacher I’ve ever had.) The highlight of this fantasy was Ray Bolger, playing a Broadway producer who happened to be an old friend of Roarke’s. Bolger and Ricardo Montalban, two old show business pros, seemed to really enjoy working together. As well, Bolger’s producer had a nice scene where he and Tattoo spoke in French to each other. It was a fun little moment and, if nothing else, it indicated that both Roarke and Tattoo have lives outside of greeting people on Fantasy Island.

The boxing story featured Al Molinaro as Max, a trainer who wanted to train someone for an exhibition match against the world champion. Max got his chance to train the enthusiastic Tommy Rudolph (William R. Moses) but, when Max’s ex-girlfriend (Rue McClanahan) warned him that one more concussion could possibly kill Tommy, Max had to make a decision. Would he push Tommy to keep fighting or would he thrown in the towel after Tommy took a few shots to the head? Max, of course, did the right thing.

As I said, it was all pretty predictable and familiar. At least Tattoo got to have some fun. Along with speaking French, he also got to put on a bookie outfit and then take bets on the outcome of the fight. When Roarke told Tattoo to cancel all the bets, Tattoo replied that being a bookie was his fantasy!

Hey, it made me laugh,

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.20 “Forget-Me-Not/The Quizmasters”

Posted on December 3, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Tattoo is still missing.

Episode 5.20 “Forget-Me-Not/The Quizmasters”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on April 10th, 1982)

Amnesiac Ellen Layton (Jill St. John) comes to the Island in hopes of remembering who she was in her past life. Ever since she was tossed off a horse and struck her head, Ellen has not been able to recall a single detail of her old life. Roarke agrees to help, using another one of those magic plants that seem to grow in abundance on Fantasy Island. However, Roarke also shows Julie a hologram that reveals that, in her previous life, Ellen was a ruthless businesswoman who fired people at the drop of a hat.

As quickly becomes obvious, amnesiac Ellen is far happier than corporate Ellen. Afterall, amnesiac Ellen has all sorts of friends on the Island and she even has sleazy Mike Collins (Dan Gautier) pretending to be in love with her. (In what I believe is a Fantasy Island first, we hear the thoughts of Mike and several other men when they first learn that the wealthy and beautiful Ellen can’t remember anything about her past life.) But when Ellen’s real husband (Brett Halsey) comes to the Island looking for her, she has to decide if she wants to go back to who she used to be or if she wants to continue being the carefree amnesiac that she’s been for the last several months. Which will she choose?

You already know the answer to that one. Ellen’s fantasy really wasn’t that interesting. I preferred the first part of the show’s other fantasy. Two game show hosts (Gene Rayburn and Jan Murray), who are both in love with the same woman (Vikki Carr), come to the Island because they want to compete in the ultimate game show. Roarke actually sets up a game show for them, with himself as host and a studio audience. The two men are asked a question. The first man to answer correctly is given the choice of opening one of four doors. Three of the doors contain prizes, like love and money. The other door is the …. DOOR OF DEATH!

One of the joys of this episode is watching Ricardo Montalban play a game show host. He appears to be having a blast, especially when he gets to dramatically remind the two contestants about “the Door of Death!” And, while the two men do manage to open up two of the doors successfully (leading one contestant rescuing Vikki Carr from being burned at the stake as a witch and the other contestant robbing a 1920s bank), the third door that the two men open is THE DOOR OF DEATH!

Unfortunately, the Door of Death turns out to be a bit anticlimatic. The two men and the women they love have to survive in the wilderness while being pursued by an archer whose fantasy is to — *sigh* — hunt the most dangerous prey of all, man. The show just did a Most Dangerous Game knock-off just two episodes ago so why do it again? Fortunately, both of the game show hosts and the woman they’re fighting over survive. They leave the Island together, their love triangle unresolved.

The game show had a lot of potential but this episode was disappointing. Unfortunately, Tattoo was not in this episode and Julie served as Roarke’s assistant. Nothing against Julie but the whole game show thing seemed like it would have been a perfect set up for some Roarke/Tattoo banter. This show was definitely better with Tattoo than without him.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.16 “The Challenge/A Genie Named Joe”

Posted on November 5, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Fantasy Island reminds us why we love this show in the first place.

Episode 5.16 “The Challenge/A Genie Named Joe”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on February 13th, 1982)

Now, this is a great episode!

Julie doesn’t appear in this episode, beyond the usual stock footage that appears at the start of every season 5 episode. In fact, Julie isn’t even mentioned in this episode. Instead, it’s Roarke and Tattoo all the way. Roarke and Tattoo greet the visitors together. Tattoo is the one who helps Roarke put the fantasies together. Roarke and Tattoo say goodbye to everyone at the end. In a way, this episode felt like a throwback to the first two seasons of Fantasy Island.

The fantasies feel like throwbacks to the first two seasons as well, with both of them featuring interesting guest stars and just enough twists to keep things interesting. We’ve got one comedic fantasy and one dramatic fantasy but the comedic fantasy is not too silly and the dramatic fantasy is not too serious. The episode manages to strike a pretty good balance between the two so, for once, neither fantasy feels rushed or short-changed.

The comedic fantasy features Kim Darby as Rebecca Walters, who wants to find a husband who is courteous and handsome. Tattoo takes her out to the magical Fantasy Island lagoon, where she meets a genie named …. well, he has a really long genie name but fortunately, he’s happy to be called Joe (Larry Linville). Joe can grant Rebecca three wishes. As always happens with genies, Rebecca wastes her first two wishes. For instance, when she says that it’s a little bit too warm for her, Joe grants her wish and temporarily turns Fantasy Island into a winter wonderland, complete with snow and Christmas music playing. (Seriously, the sight of snow on Fantasy Island was surprisingly charming, as was Tattoo’s shocked reaction.) In the end, of course, Rebecca comes to discover that she loves Joe. Joe transforms from a genie-into-a-man and they leave the Island together. It was a charming and cute fantasy. Both Darby and Linville seemed to be having fun with their roles and they had a surprising amount of chemistry together. This was a fun fantasy.

As for the dramatic fantasy, it allowed us to learn a little about the history of the Island. Apparently, centuries ago, the Island belonged to a Spanish sea captain. Ruthless tycoon Douglas Picard (Vic Morrow) came across the deed to the island after he moved into a villa that once belonged to the captain. Picard claims that the Island is legally his. Roarke points out that the deed is several centuries old and that it would take years for the legal system to sort out who owned what. Picard challenges Roarke to three challenges to decide who will own the island, challenges that will test the mind, body, and spirit of the two men. The person to win two of the matches also wins the Island. Roarke agrees.

Here’s the thing that I find interesting about all of this. First off, it’s implied that the Spanish sea captain was a part of the Spanish Armada. Why would the Spanish Armada have been in the South Pacific? Even more importantly, though, was the island still capable of granting fantasies when it was owned the Captain? Are the fantasies created by the Island or by Mr. Roarke? The case for the Island being magical can be found in this very episode, in which Tattoo takes Rebecca to a lagoon inhabited by a genie. Throughout the series, there have been many such locations on the Island. But Roarke himself is clearly more than just the charming owner of a resort. Ricardo Montalban once said that he felt Roarke was a fallen angel who was doing penance on the Island. That’s an interesting idea and would certainly explain why Roddy McDowall’s Devil always seemed to want to steal Roarke’s soul. Of course, the Blumhouse film and the recently-canceled reboot both suggested that Fantasy Island has had many different caretakers but I’m not sure that I consider either one of those to be canonical. I kind of like the idea Roarke having lived on the Island for centuries, like Richard on Lost.

Anyway, the three competitions are actually pretty interesting. The first one is a chess match that is won by Roarke. The second one features Roarke and Picard arm-wrestling over a killer spider. Roarke is in on the verge of winning that one but allows Picard to have the victory rather than kill him. The third competition is to do something selfless that improves someone else’s life. (I’m not sure how the winner would be selected but we’ll just go with it.) Picard gives money to a charity that he knows little about. Roarke, however, wins because he made Picard’s sister, Eunice (Jane Powell), happy by choosing not to kill Picard. Picard is so happy to finally see Eunice happy that he decides he doesn’t need to take ownership of Fantasy Island. Everyone leaves the Island a better person than they were when they arrived. Yay!

As I said before, this episode felt like a throwback to the earlier seasons of Fantasy Island. This was a great trip to the Island!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.10 “A Very Strange Affair/The Sailor”

Posted on September 24, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week’s episode is about angels and Flying Dutchmen.

Episode 5.10 “A Very Strange Affair/The Sailor”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on January 2nd, 1982)

This episode begins not with Mr. Roarke meeting the plane but instead with him heading out alone to the beach, where he meets a ghost ship that is being steered by Captain Hendrik Van Horton. Captain Van Horton is the legendry Flying Dutchman, the sailor who cursed God when he failed to defeat the Spanish fleet and who is now cursed to sail the ocean until he finds a woman who not only loves him but who is “willing to sacrifice her life” for him. Every seven years, Captain Van Horton is allowed to spend two days on dry land and he almost always comes to Fantasy Island.

And yes, this all sounds very intriguing and it is an interesting way to open this episode. I’m so used to the stock footage of Roarke driving down to the docks that it’s always a bit jarring to see something different. However, Captain Van Horton is also played by the reliably stiff (if likable) Peter Graves. Graves’s deadpan and straight-forward acting style made him the ideal actor for certain roles, usually as a professional of some sort. However, Graves’s rather stoic persona did not make him the best choice to play a tortured sea captain, cursed to sail on the ocean for an eternity.

As for his fantasy, the captain is lucky enough to be on the Island at the same time as Laura Myles (Florence Henderson), whose fantasy is to fall in love with an old-fashioned man’s man. She falls for the Captain, despite the attempts of her ex-boyfriend, Bill (Brett Halsey), to win her back. Unfortunately, the Captain loses his temper and punches the well-meaning Bill. Bill is willing to forgive the Captain but Mr. Roarke explains that the Island police are not as forgiving. (Doesn’t Mr. Roarke control the police? It’s his Island!) Captain Van Horton needs to marry Laura and then leave.

Captain Van Horton explains that he’s fallen in love with Laura but he can’t ask her to die for him. Laura says that she would be willing to die for a man who she has known for a day and half. Roarke then reveals that Laura doesn’t have to die. She just has to be “willing to die.” (Wow, what a silly curse!) The Captain and Laura sail off together but you have to wonder how the Captain feels about discovering, after hundreds of years of wandering, that there was an easily exploitable loophole to the curse.

As for the other fantasy, Ron (Dick Smothers) needs some confidence so he’ll be able to talk notorious tightwad, J.D. Stoneman (Hans Conried) i,nto investing in an orphanage. Roarke rings a bell and summons an angel, Miss Harbringer (Shelley Smith). Miss Harbringer gives Ron a pep talk and even goes to talk to Stoneman herself. Of course, Miss Harbringer’s real purpose is to make Ron’s wife, Elaine (Arlene Golonka), so jealous that Elaine will take over and encourage Ron to talk Stoneman into giving him the money.

Anyway, Miss Harbringer flirts with Stoneman and convinces him to invest in a good cause. But she allows Ron and Elaine to believe that it was Ron’s powers of persuasion that convinced Stoneman to invest. It’s kind of sad that Ron and Elaine forget about Miss Harbringer as soon as they get their money but Roarke says that’s the way it is for angels. I don’t think that’s true, though. I bet George Bailey never forgot Clarence.

(Atta boy, Clarence!)

Tattoo is not in this episode so it’s Julie’s turn to assist Mr. Roarke. What’s odd is that the episode doesn’t even offer up any explanation as to where Tattoo has disappeared. This episode was a bit on the blah side so it definitely could have used Tattoo. A random llama shows up at the end of the show and I liked that. Llamas are cute. But otherwise, this was a forgettable trip to the Island.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.5 “Mr. Nobody/La Liberatora”

Posted on July 2, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion, YouTube, Plex, and a host of other sites.

This week, Charo shows up but Tattoo doesn’t.

Episode 5.5 “Mr. Nobody/La Liberatora”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on November 7th, 1981)

Once again, we have an episode the features only stock footage of Tattoo shouting, “The plane, the plane!” Otherwise, Herve Villechaize is not in this episode.

What excuse does Mr. Roarke come up with this week to explain Tattoo’s absence?

He’s hung over.

Seriously, that’s what Mr. Roarke goes with! He explains to Julie that Tattoo was up very late, helping another guest celebrate a drunken fantasy. It must be said that Ricardo Montalban seems to be quite amused to be labeling his sidekick a drunk. Apparently, Herve Villechaize was holding out for more money when this episode was shot and I’m guessing Tattoo being hung over was a “take that” on the part of the show’s producers. To be honest, it feels a bit petty.

It falls to Julie to help Charles Atkins (Sherman Hemsley) fulfill his fantasy. Charles is a short man who has been picked on by bullies all his life. He wants to feel strong and confident. Julie gives him a potion that she thinks will give him “inner strength” but — whoops! — instead it turns Charles into the world’s strongest man. As Roarke admonishes Julie for not being specific when she ordered her potion, Charles embarks on a wrestling career. Can Charles defeat Sampson Smith (H.B. Haggerty), the most savage wrestler in the world? Or will he instead fall in love with Sampson’s publicist, Carrie Wilson (Vernee Watson) and realize that true strength comes from inside? We all know the answer. A more important question is whether Mr. Roarke will ever be foolish enough to let Julie handle a fantasy again?

This fantasy was nothing special. The comedy was a bit too broad, though I did like the heartfelt performances of both Sherman Hemsley and Vernee Watson. The main problem is that the whole thing hinged on Julie screwing up in a way that really didn’t make any sense. Surely, she would have been smart enough to make sure she had the right potion before giving it to Charles. I mean, not being careful with your potions sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen. Surely, Mr. Roarke would have kept a closer eye on his goddaughter as she handled her first fantasy ever. Poor bumbling Julie doesn’t really work as a sidekick. The show suffers without Villechaize’s snarky attitude.

Villechaize’s absence means that we also miss the chance to see him acting opposite Charo and that just seems like a crime against pop culture. I have to admit that I was a little worried when I saw Charo’s name in the opening credits, largely because I thought she would be playing her silly Love Boat character. Instead, Charo plays a world-famous guitarist named Dolores DeMurica, whose fantasy is to go back to the days of Spanish California and meet her ancestor, the famous El Lobo Rojo. (El Lobo Rojo is basically Zorro but if Fantasy Island’s producers weren’t going to give Herve Villechaize a raise, they certainly weren’t going to pay for the rights to Zorro.)

I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by Charo’s fantasy. There was a lot of swashbuckling action, Cesare Danova and Alex Cord both gave good supporting performances, and Charo seemed to be energized by playing a character who, while comedic, was not quite as silly as The Love Boat‘s April. Charo actually gave a pretty good performance here and the entire fantasy was fast-paced and fun to watch. It would have been even more fun if Tattoo had shown up but it was not to be.

This episode was a mixed bag, with one forgettable fantasy and one entertaining fantasy. In the end, both fantasies would have been better with Tattoo.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 4.20 “Delphine/The Unkillable”

Posted on April 9, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion.

Smiles, everyone, smiles!

Episode 4.20 “Delphine/The Unkillable”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, Originally aired on April 11th, 1981)

For our first fantasy, Dr. Paul Todd (Randolph Mantooth) is a paleontologist who feels that the first life on Earth was silicon-based and that the missing link lives underneath a volcano on Fantasy Island. He comes to the Island with his girlfriend, Liz (Annette Funicello) and his assistant, Kyle (Alex Cord). With Roarke’s weary approval, they head off to the volcano to search for proof of Todd’s theory.

And they do find proof! After Kyle attempts to sexually assault Liz, she falls through a crevice and finds herself in the lair of …. well, it appears to be someone who is waring a rubber suit but Paul and Kyle are convinced that they’ve found their silicon man! (Kyle attempting to force himself on Liz is seemingly forgotten.) The Silicon Man appears to be immortal, which proves to be a bit of problem when it decides to carry of Liz. But then the Silicon Man falls in a pool of lava and dies so I guess he wasn’t immortal. At the end of the show, Tattoo suggests that the The Silicon Man was made of lava and that’s why he was vulnerable to it but …. what?

Mr. Roarke doesn’t seem to be that worried about the Silicon Man or the fact that one of the island’s volcanoes is spewing lava. He’s more concerned with his goddaughter, Delphine (Ann Jillian).

According to Roarke, Delphine is the daughter of one of the Island’s oldest families. She has spent the last few years off the Island, working as an assistant for a magician named The Great Zachariah (Carl Ballantine). Delphine’s secret is that she actually does have magical powers! She’s the one who does all of Zachariah’s tricks for him. However, Delphine now wants to marry Greg (Don Galloway) and she doesn’t want him to know that she can move stuff with her mind and make people materialize out of thin air. Her fantasy is to lose her powers.

Zachariah, not happy about the prospect of losing his assistant, comes to the Island and teams up with fortune-telling Madame Cluny (Doris Roberts) to trick Delphine into revealing her powers and driving Greg away. Myself, I’m not really sure I understand why her magic powers would be a deal-breaker. I mean, Delphine can literally do anything! And, as we see in this episode, she only uses her powers for good. Why would Greg have a problem with that?

On the plus side, Ann Jillian (who starred in another show that I reviewed on this site, Jennifer Slept Here) gives a good performance as Delphine and it’s easy to imagine an alternate version of the show where she played Roarke’s sidekick. On the negative side, the rest of the show and both of the fantasies are just silly and never make any sense.

This was not a memorable trip to the Island. Seriously …. silicon?

Retro Television: Fantasy Island 4.15 “Loving Strangers/Something Borrowed, Something Blue”

Posted on February 27, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion.

Sorry for running late with the review today. Are you prepared for some romance?

Episode 4.15 “Loving Strangers/Something Borrowed, Something Blue”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on February 14th, 1981)

It’s a special Valentine’s Day episode of Fantasy Island!

Now, I have to admit that my first reaction to this was to think that I would be pretty depressed if I spent a Valentine’s Day at home, watching Fantasy Island. But then I realized that’s pretty much what happened to me this year. I had the excuse of a sprained ankle, though. Add to that, I was watching The Love Boat instead of Fantasy Island and Jeff and I still had a romantic time, even if I was stuck on the couch for most of the day.

(For the record, my ankle is doing much better. It only hurts with every 20th step now.)

Anyway, both of this episode’s fantasies are about falling in love.

Tom (Peter Marshall) and Margaret Wilkerson (Jane Powell) have been married for 25 years. It’s been a happy marriage but they’re both curious whether they would still fall in love if they met each other as the way they are now. Their fantasy is to meet again for the very first time. Mr. Roarke warns them that this might not be a good idea but Tom and Margaret still choose to walk through the Door of Forgetfulness and immediately forget that they know each other or that they’re married. Uh-oh — Tom’s flirting with a younger woman! And Margaret just met international man of mystery, Cesar Romero. Well, that marriage is doomed. Or is it?

No, of course, it’s not doomed. This is Fantasy Island and it’s Valentine’s Day. Still, you do have to wonder why Roarke grants fantasies that could so easily go terribly wrong. What if Tom and Margaret hadn’t eventually found each other again? How would that be explained to the members of their family in Indiana? Does Mr. Roarke ever worry about getting sued?

As for the other fantasy, Jack Foster (John Gavin) wants to marry Pamela Archer (Shelley Smith) on the Island. The wedding is being planned. Tattoo is calling people to order the cake and the plates and the silverware and it’s actually kind of neat to see Tattoo do something other than glare at Mr. Roarke. However, Pamela has not told Jack the truth about her trampy past and she fears that, if the truth comes out, it will destroy Jack’s campaign to be governor of Illinois. (I don’t know what she’s worried about. It’s not like Illinois has a reputation for being run by ruthless political machine or anything.) Pamela wants to marry Jack but …. OH NO, IT’S MARJOE GORTNER!

Marjoe plays Nick Corbin, who was apparently Pamela’s pimp in her previous life. He’s come to Fantasy Island to drag Pamela away from Jack and Pamela feels that she has to go with him in order to protect Jack. Jack reveals that he knows about her past and he doesn’t care. He then confronts Nick, who pulls a knife on him. OH NO! Fortunately, Mr. Roarke appears and literally tosses Nick 20 feet into the air. I’m not kidding, either. MARJOE GORTNER GOES FLYING!

With Nick taken care of, Jack and Pamela have an incredibly tacky wedding. Mr. Roarke walks Pamela down the aisle because apparently, Pamela has no family. That’s kind of sad.

But the important thing is that everything worked out. To be honest, neither fantasy was that interesting but I’m always happy to see Marjoe Gortner. No one glowered quite like Marjoe!