Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th 3.19 “The Tree of Life”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The entire series can be found on YouTube!

This week, it’s Johnny vs the Druids.

Episode 3.19 “The Tree of Life”

(Dir by William Fruet, originally aired on May 7th, 1990)

Johnny randomly runs into a distraught woman who claims that, years ago, her daughter was abducted and her husband murdered by obstetrician  Dr. Sybil Oakwood (Gale Garnett).  When Jack and Micki doubt the woman’s story, Johnny investigates on his own and discovers that Dr. Oakwood is kidnapping newborn girls and raising them in her fertility clinic.  It turns out that Dr. Oakwood is a druid and she’s trying to breed future Druidic priestesses.

(Don’t yell at me, this is the show’s interpretation of druidism.)

This was the next-to-the-last episode of Friday the 13th and it just feels like the writers were tired and uninspired.  Suddenly, for the first time in three years, Jack and Micki are skeptical about reports of the paranormal.  Johnny is back to being impulsive and, if we’re to be honest, kind of stupid.  He tells the distraught mother that her daughter is being held prisoner at the fertility clinic and then is shocked when the mother runs off to the clinic without waiting for Johnny to accompany her.  Once again, it all leads to a cult and an underground cavern.  This entire episode feels like it was recycled from previous episodes.

I’m not an expert on paganism so I’m not going to get into whether or not this episode accurately portrayed druidic beliefs.  I will say that the druids in this episode acted like every other cult that’s ever appeared on this show.  They’re just like the Satanic cult that showed up at the end of season 2.  Making them druids is probably one of those things that sounded good when the episode was pitched.  The word “druid” brings to mind Stonehenge and all the rest of that good stuff.  But, narratively, there was nothing gained nor lost by making them druids.  The show treated them like any other self-destructive cult.

This episode was a bit dull.  It felt like the show was taking one last shot at getting audiences to replace Johnny as Ryan’s replacement.  The whole thing just felt uninspired.  It certainly left your brave reviewer bereft of inspiration.

Next week, we come to the conclusion of Friday the 13th: The Series.

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.23 “The Maestro”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The entire series can be found on YouTube!

This week, it’s personal for Jack!

Episode 2.23 “The Maestro”

(Dir by Timothy Bond, originally aired on May 22nd, 1989)

Famed choreographer Anton Pascola (Colm Feore) is fond of saying that great art requires pain and he would know.  A former dancer, Anton was injured in an accident and now walks with a pronounced limp.  He has devoted his life to choreography and he has a small company of dancers who are devoted to him, despite his fearsome temper.  Because Anton’s dancers tend to be accident prone and also suicide-prone, there are frequent openings in his company.

Pascola’s newest dancer is Grace Cowell (Cynthia Preston).  Grace is young and naive and she thinks her dreams are about to come true.  She is also the daughter of one of Jack’s best friends.  When she takes Jack, Ryan, and Micki to a Pascola-choreographed performance of Romeo and Juliet, they are shocked to hear that the lead actors recently leapt out of a window together.  When Jack discovers that one of the cursed antiques is a Victorian music box that plays an amazing symphony but also forces the listeners to dance until they die, he realizes that Grace is in danger.

For all the time that they spend searching for cursed antiques, it’s amazing how often Jack, Ryan, and Micki just happen to stumble across one being used by someone they know.  I understand, of course, that it’s meant to add an extra personal element to their adventures.  Trying to save the daughter of his (never-seen) best friend adds something to the story that wouldn’t be there if Jack was trying to save someone he wasn’t personally close to.  But, at times, the way that this show depends on coincidence can get to be a bit much.

That said, Jack’s personal connection to this week’s antique does lead to one of the show’s most devastating endings.  Proving that he practices what he preaches, Anton dances to the music box’s symphony while an audience watches.  He dances until he dies.  Unfortunately, Grace is dancing with him and she dies as well.  This is not the first time that someone close to the main characters has died on this show.  What makes this episode unique is Jack’s reaction.  Jack has always been the wise father figure who helps to keep Micki and Ryan strong.  But when Grace dies, Jack has a breakdown.  He goes from obsessively trying to clean Grace’s blood off the music box to throwing antiques across the shop.  For once, it’s Micki and Ryan who have to calm down the distraught Jack.

The episode has more than a few plot holes and Grace’s actions often don’t make sense.  Even after she discovers that Pascola is killing his dancers, she still wants to work with him.  The implication is that she’s been brainwashed by his claims that art requires pain but there’s a difference between pushing yourself and killing yourself.  If Grace had previously acted like someone who had a death wish, the episode would not only make more sense but it would actually be a good deal more interesting.  That said, as someone who grew up going to dance classes and rehearsing and performing, I’ve certainly known my share of Anton Pascolas.  This was an episode to which I could relate.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th 2.8 “Read My Lips”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, Oscar will haunt your nightmares….

Episode 2.8 “Read My Lips”

(Dir by Francis Delia, originally aired on November 21st, 1988)

When you watch as much horror as I do, you automatically assume that anyone who is a ventriloquist is going to have an unhealthy relationship with their dummy.  Sometimes, the dummy is alive.  Sometimes, the dummy is possessed.  Sometimes, the dummy is just a dummy but the ventriloquist has decided that it’s alive and urging him to kill.  (For some reason, evil ventriloquists are always male.)  I’ve seen a lot of creepy ventriloquist dummies but nothing quite compared me for Oscar….

AGCK!  I mean …. LOOK AT THAT THING!

Oscar is at the center of this week’s episode of Friday the 13th.  Oscar is wearing a boutonniere that once belonged to the noted ventriloquist, Adolf Hitler.   The boutonniere not only brings Oscar to foul-mouthed life but it also inspires whoever owns Oscar to commit countless murders.  When we first see Oscar, he is owned by Edgar Van Horne (played by a youngish Billy Drago).  After Edgar attempts to break his bond with Oscar, Oscar drives Edgar crazy and then invites another ventriloquist, Travis Plunkett (John Byner), to be his owner.  Things don’t turn out well for Travis either.

Sadly, Jack is not in this episode.  With its emphasis on desperate nightclub performers and Oscar’s corny sense of humor, it’s hard not to feel that this storyline would have been right up Jack’s alley.  Instead, it’s left to Micki and Ryan to deal with Oscar and the ventriloquists.  Micki’s best friend from high school, Gabriella Montrose (Linda Griffiths), is planning on marrying Edgar but, needless to say, that all goes out the window once Edgar loses his mind and end up in a mental hospital.  For the most part, Micki and Ryan are largely bystanders in this episode.  All of the action revolves around Oscar and his unfortunate owners.

Billy Drago gives a wonderful performance as Edgar, making him both frightening and, in the end, surprisingly sympathetic.  Edgar is desperate to escape the clutches of Oscar but, in the end, it turns out that he’s grown addicted to performing with Oscar and the attempt to quit cold turkey leads to him losing his mind.  (Many episodes of Friday the 13th feature storylines that felt as if they were meant to be a metaphor for drug addiction and that’s certainly the case here.)  John Byner plays his role a bit more broadly than Drago but still, it’s hard not to feel bad for Travis as he comes to realize that he’s in over his head with Oscar.

This was an effectively creepy episode, even if it did owe an obvious debt to the 1978 film Magic.  Oscar makes for a memorable monster.  Hopefully, he’ll never be seen again.