Retro Television Review: California Dreams 1.9 “Mother and Child Reunion” and 1.10 “Romancing The Tube”

Posted on October 1, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing California Dreams, which ran on NBC from 1992 to 1996. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Last week, California Dreams dealt with both racism and misogyny. It was two heavy episodes, featuring important lessons about the problems of the world. Would the trend continue? Let us find out!

Surf dudes with attitude, feeling mellow, let’s get on with it….

Episode 1.9 “Mother and Child Reunion”

(Directed by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 7th, 1992)

It’s been over a month since the Dreams last had a gig. Maybe they should break up! Matt thinks that they just need to practice more. (Of course, being a music camp kid, he would say that, wouldn’t he?) Sly thinks that the band need to change its image and be less beach-y. Considering what was going on in music in the early to mid-90s, Sly probably has a point. Anyway, Sly goes out and buys a smoke machine so that the Dreams can use it to change their middlebrow image. Maybe they just need a new lead singer. WHERE’S JAKE!?

Now, the smoke machine and the edgy image stuff is actually kind of cute but the majority of the show revolves around Tiffani and her mom. It turns out that Tiffani’s mom essentially abandoned her when Tiffani was only six. For ten years, Tiffani’s mom worked as a dancer in New York. Now, she’s back in California. At first, everyone is shocked by the fact that Tiffani doesn’t seem to be angry at her mom but it turns out that Tiffani is angry and that anger finally comes out at Tiffani’s 16th birthday party when her mom suggests that Tiffany come live with her for a year.

By the standards of California Dreams’s first season, this wasn’t a bad episode. Kelly Packard did a good job of portraying Tiffani’s anger. Plus, this episode did have one good joke, in which Sly tried to rename the band The California Nightmares in an attempt to change their image. They should have stuck with the new name.

Episode 1.10 “Romancing The Tube”

(Directed by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 14th, 1992)

This was a weird episode. I’ve seen plenty of episodes of California Dreams but somehow, I never knew that Sly and Tiffani were a couple for an episode. Apparently, Tiffany and Sly fell for each other while Tiffany was teaching Sly how to surf. It all led to a “Surf Soul Swapping” ceremony, which was overseen by Peter Tork of the Monkees. However, at the last minute, Tiffani realized that she was just using Sly as a rebound to help her get over her ex. And Sly never really wanted to be in a committed relationship to begin with. So, they broke up and I guess it all worked out in the end.

Meanwhile, Matt, Jenny, and Tony were supposed to paint a room in the Garrison House in return for Mrs. Garrison paying them $300 so they could get a new lighting system. But then they got bored and abandoned the job. Fortunately, the new lighting system turned out to be a bust so they tricked Mrs. Garrison into taking it off their hands. No one learned a thing, which was probably about as realistic as California Dreams ever got.

Weird episode.

Retro Television Review: California Dreams 1.7 “Guess Who’s Coming To Brunch?” and 1.8 “It’s A Guy Thing”

Posted on September 24, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the California Dreams confront racism and misogyny! Let’s see how it goes.

Episode 1.7 “Guess Who’s Coming To Brunch?”

(Directed by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 24th, 1992)

During a performance of “Rain” (which is the first vaguely good song to be featured on this show), an amp blows out. It’s going to cost $300 to replace! Sly suggests that the band take a job writing an advertising jingle but Matt’s all like, “No, man! It’s about the music!” Matt, we’ve heard your music.

Fortunately, Tony has a new girlfriend and she comes from rich family! Her father (played by the same actor who played Zach Morris’s Dad during the Good Morning Miss Bliss incarnation of Saved By The Bell) offers to pay for the amp but he has a condition. “Stop dating my daughter.”

“Ohhhhhh!” the audience gasps.

Tony’s black and his girlfriend (and her father) are white. When the girlfriend’s father says that the relationship will never work because “you two are from different worlds,” everyone knows what he means. This leads to a discussion about race, which was probably quite progressive for 1992 even if it seems rather anodyne by today’s standards. Tony’s girlfriend explains that her father can’t be prejudiced because he gives money to all the right causes. Way to call out white liberalism, California Dreams!

Of course, this discussion about race takes place while everyone tries to write a jingle for Uncle Slappy’s Root Beer. “We can’t lie in the jingle!” Tiffany argues. Has Tiffani never watched a commercial? This band deserves to fail for being annoyingly naïve.

The episode ends with the band playing a song called “One World,” which I was disappointed to learn was not the One World theme song.

Episode 1.8 “It’s A Guy Thing”

(Directed by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 31st, 1992)

In order to force Sly and Tony to confront their own misogyny, Tiffani and Jenny trick them into falling in love with a non-existent French girl named Monique. Kelly provides the French-accented voice over the phone. Jenny wears a wig whenever Monique needs to be seen. It’s kind of a dumb plan but Sly and Tony are both fairly stupid characters. That said, Sly and Tony do eventually learn that Monique is just Jenny in a wig and somehow, this all leads to a boxing match.

Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison tries to figure out how to fix the family washing machine, in a storyline that I’m pretty sure was eventually reused on an episode of One World. Speaking of reusing plotlines, the whole fake girlfriend thing was originally used in Saved By The Bell. Remember when Zach pretended to be a Southern blonde in order to get Screech to do his homework?

This episode features Matt announcing, “Let’s do another tune!,” which is the funniest line in the script. I’m always amazed at how the Dreams can produce that perfect studio sound while performing in their garage.

The Dreams dealt with some pretty serious issues this week! What will they deal with next week?

Retro Television Review: California Dreams 1.5 “The First Gig” and 1.6 “Friends First”

Posted on September 17, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The saga of California’s blandest garage band continues.

Is anyone reading this a surf dude with attitude?

Actually, wait a minute. Didn’t I use the exact same introduction last week? Eh. It’s the first season of California Dreams, a show that was constructed out of unused story ideas for Saved By The Bell. A little bit of deja vu is understandable.

Episode 1.5 “The First Gig”

(Directed by Don Barnhart, Originally aired on October 10th, 1992)

Wimpy California dude Matt Garrison has formed a band called the California Dreams. Matt plays guitar and sings. Matt’s sister, Jenny, plays keyboards and sings. Tony Wickes plays drums and works at Sharkey’s, the most popular restaurant on the beach. Tiffani plays bass and surfs. Matt’s best friend, Sly, wants to manage the band and he even gets them their first gig! Sly arranges for them to play Randi-Jo’s birthday party. Matt totally has a crush on Randi-Jo….

Wait, this doesn’t make any sense. First gig? The California Dreams have had plenty of gigs! They’ve even got a fanbase. Sly already is the band’s manager. And Matt’s been dating Randi-Jo since the show began. What the Hell!?

Well, it turns out that the fifth episode aired of California Dreams was actually the first episode filmed. The First Gig also served as a pilot for the show but, when the show went into production, the pilot was shown during the middle of the season as opposed to the beginning. This, of course, led to a mess of continuity errors….

Of course, that’s not a surprise to anyone who has watched any of the shows that Peter Engel produced as a part of TNBC. Maintaining continuity or, for that matter, any sort of consistency was never a huge concern. And they got away with it because it was the 90s and its not as if the people watching the show could have jumped on twitter and complained about how it didn’t make any sense.

As for the pilot itself …. eh. I can understand why this pilot would have led to a show, as the cast was good-looking in a very nonthreatening way. But good Lord, is the music ever dull! Fortunately, the music would improve sometime around the start of the third season but, while watching the pilot, I found myself wondering why a group of teenagers would want to start a band to play the type of music that their parents probably listened to on the easy listening station. Judging from the pilot, the Dreams were the only teenagers in 90s America who had never heard of Nirvana.

Episode 1.6 “Friends First”

(Directed by Don Barnhart, Originally aired on October 17th, 1992)

Continuity continues to go out the window as this episode opens with Sly trying to convince Sharkey to hire the Dreams to play at his restaurant, despite the fact that we’ve already seen the Dreams playing Sharkey’s several times over the past few episodes.

While Sly tries to make money, Matt’s friend from music camp comes to visit and both Jenny and Tiffani fall for him after discovering that he’s lost over 200 pounds since his music camp days. It leads to a typical TNBC situation in which Jenny and Tiffani learn to not let liking the same boy ruin their friendship. To be honest, my main reaction to this episode was a strange sense of annoyance with Matt. Seriously, he was exactly the type of kid who would go to music camp and come back as a huge music snob. One can just imagine Matt ruthlessly critiquing every other band in the world. “I didn’t care much for that bridge …. the pitch is not perfect …. here’s where you need to drop the chorus….” Shut up, Matt. It’s supposed to be about the feelings and the emotions!

Retro Television Reviews: California Dreams 1.3 “Double Date” and 1.4 “Dream Man”

Posted on September 10, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The saga of California’s blandest garage band continues.

Is anyone reading this a surf dude with attitude?

Episode 1.3 “Double Date”

(Directed by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 26, 1992)

Oh, California! What a confusing place.

When Sharkey (the owner of Sharkey’s) goes out of town, he leaves Tony in charge of the restaurant. He promises that, if Tony does a good job, Tony will get a promotion and more money. But Sharkey, isn’t leaving Tony in charge already a promotion? Anyway, it turns out that Sharkey made a huge mistake because soon, Sly has convinced Tony to hold a luau at Sharkey’s. Tony spends a lot of Sharkey’s money on the luau. Sharkey returns home early and demands that Tony pay back the money with whatever is made at the luay. The luau has to be a success! It’s a good thing that the Dreams will be playing at Sharkey’s.

Unfortunately, Matt has already booked the Dreams to perform at a wedding on the same night! This leads to some conflict between Matt and Tony. The conflict would perhaps be more dramatic if Matt wasn’t a total wimp.

Fortunately, Tiffani suggests that maybe the Dreams could just play both shows, considering that there’s apparently only 2 minutes of distance between Sharkey’s and the yacht club. (The wedding, of course, is taking place at the yacht club. Do poor people even exist in California?)

This episode basically felt like it was left over from the Saved By The Bell episodes where Zach and the gang worked at Malibu Sands …. actually, wait a minute. IT IS! When Mr. Carossi went out of town, Zach and Stacy booked two parties for the same night and had to throw both parties during the same night. History repeats itself. Of course, every time that it does, things get progressively dumber.

For the record, the Dreams would have been a terrible wedding band in real life. Hire a DJ, like my friend Xander. He’ll keep your party going.

Episode 1.4 “Dream Man”

(Directed by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 3rd, 1992)

When Jenny hold a slumber party, Sly and Tony plant a listening device so that they can learn what Jenny and Jenny’s friend Jasmine are looking for in a boyfriend. This leads to …. WAIT A MINUTE! THIS IS ANOTHER SAVED BY THE BELL PLOT! Zach bugged Jessie’s bedroom so that he could learn who Kelly was planning on asking to the school dance. Jessie figured out what was going on and told Kelly to pretend to have a psychotic breakdown.

Anyway, this leads to Sly wearing an Italian suit and a silk tie in an effort to impress Jenny and the audience going, “Wooooo!” But, because Jenny knows about the listening device, Sly ends up getting grape juice splashed on his shirt. “Wooooooo!” the audience continues.

Meanwhile, Tiffani tried to help Matt write a song about a kid named Tommy who can’t swim. The song is supposed to be bad (which leads to Matt learning a lesson about being honest) but the end result is still better than Friends Forever.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 8/28/22 — 9/03/22

Posted on September 3, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I spent most of this week watching old TNBC shows from the 90s. That was my choice and stand by it.

Allo Allo (PBS, Sunday Night)

Michelle needed to send microfilm to London and the cafe needed to prepare for a parade. Meanwhile, with the outcome of the war now becoming obvious, the Germans made plans to assassinate Hitler and escape from France.

PBS is currently showing the final episodes of Allo Allo. There’s only two episodes left and, to be honest, it’s kind of obvious that the show itself was more than ready to be wrapped up by the time it started its 9th series. Watching this week’s episode, it was hard to shake the feeling that everyone appeared to have just been going through the motions. (I recently read that Gorden Kaye, who played Rene, was recovering from a serious car accident, which perhaps explains why he seems a bit more subdued than usual.) Still, Officer Crabtree’s “Good moaning” will always make me laugh, as will Michelle’s “I shall say this only once.”

The Bachelorette (ABC, Monday Night)

The men tell all!

They didn’t tell enough as far as I’m concerned. They should have just sent all the other men home and interviewed Meatball for two hours.

Big Brother (CBS and Paramount+, Everyday)

I’ve been writing about Big Brother at the Big Brother Blog! This week, Kyle was voted out after having his game exposed by Michael and Brittany. Because Kyle’s plan was to target all of the black players because he was convinced they were going to form their own Cookout-style alliance, Kyle was worried that he would be booed when he left the house. I’m not sure if the audience booed him or not. It actually sounded like production abruptly turned off the audience microphones as soon as Kyle stepped through the front door. Julie Chen Moonves got to pretend that she was a serious journalist during her seven-minute exit interview with Kyle. Then Julie cheerfully announced that Zingbot would be on Sunday’s show.

California Dreams (YouTube)

This week, I watched and reviewed 18 episodes of California Dreams. You can read the first of those reviews here!

The Challenge (CBS, Wednesday Night)

Tyson and Enzo survived another week, so I’m happy.

City Guys (Tubi)

I watched 19 episodes of City Guys this week and I wrote and scheduled reviews of all of them. You can read the first two by clicking here!

Full House (MeTV, Sunday Evening)

Uncle Jesse decided to skip the Tanner Family Reunion because he needed to work on a song. Michelle got mad and, as usual, everyone had to rearrange their lives to placate that demented little troll doll. “Uncle Jesse’s not nice nice anymore!” Michelle said. No, Uncle Jesse has a job because he’s a freaking adult. Considering that Jesse has spent the majority of the show either mooching off Danny or Becky, everyone should have been encouraging him to actually do some work on his own for once.

This was followed by a terrifying episode in which Joey auditioned for a children’s show with the help of a big chipmunk doll.

Hang Time (YouTube)

I have been watching episode of this show and scheduling reviews. Look for my review of the first two episodes on Monday! The main thing that I’ve learned from watching Hang Time is that I don’t know a thing about basketball.

Inspector Lewis (YouTube)

On Wednesday, I watched another episode of Inspector Lewis. Lewis and Hathaway were investigating a series of murders surrounding a fake medium. Hathaway spent most of the show wearing a neck brace and contemplating the mysteries of existence. Lewis, as usual, was much more pragmantic in his approach.

The Office (Weekday Evening, FaveTV)

I watched two episodes on Wednesday. First, I watched the second part of the episode in which Pam and Jim got married in Niagara. This was followed by the notoriously silly episode in which Michael became convinced that a pushy insurance agent was a member of the Mafia.

One World (Tubi)

I watched and reviewed 18 episodes of One World this week! You can read the first of those reviews by clicking here!

Open All Hours (PBS, Sunday Night)

Granville threatened to go back to school so Arkwright locked him in the cellar.

Retro Television Reviews: California Dreams 1.1 “Battle of the Bands” and 1.2 “Beat of His Own Drum”

Posted on September 3, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 1992, with Saved By The Bell coming to a close, Peter Engel attempted to duplicate that show’s magic with California Dreams! The story of a bunch of teens who start their own band, California Dreams was basically Saved By The Bell if every episode had centered around the Zack Attack.

The first season of California Dreams centered around Matt Garrison (Brent Gore) and his younger sister, Jenny (Heidi Noelle Lenhart). Matt played guitar and was the band’s lead singer. Jenny played keyboards and sang. Tiffani (Kelly Packard) was the surfer who played bass. Tony (William James Jones) played drums. Sly Winkle (Michael Cade) managed the band. Mr. Garrison (Michael Cutt) and Mrs. Garrison (Gail Ramey) supported Matt’s ambitions. The youngest Garrison child was Dennis (Ryan O’Neill). The Garrisons were a pretty boring family and they would be phased out after this season.

Now, sing it….

Episode 1.1 “Battle of the Bands”

(Directed by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 12th, 1992)

The story of California’s blandest garage band got its start with a simple episode about a Battle of the Bands. As the episode begins, California Dreams has already been formed and apparently already has fans. We’re starting in medias res and there’s certainly nothing wrong with that. In fact …. wait a minute! Where’s Jake!? Where’s Sam!? Where’s Mark Winkle? WHERE’S LORENA!?

(Lorena is the character to whom I always relate.)

Sorry, none of those characters are present in season one. Of the classic California Dreams line-up, only Sly, Tony, and Tiffani were present at the start and, during the first season, all three of them were overshadowed by the Garrisons. Though it’s easy to forget, the band was originally formed by Matt Garrison and his younger sister, Jenny. Matt Garrison is quick to tell everyone that he’s rock and roll. In this episode, he talks about how much he loves obscure bands like The Beatles and U2. I wonder if he’s ever heard of the Beach Boys. Needless to say, without Jake and Lorena, the first season of California Dreams is pretty bland.

Anyway, in this episode, the California Dreams enter a Battle of the Bands contest but they find themselves competing against their hated rivals, Bradley and the Billionaires. We don’t get to hear Bradley’s music but the band looks pretty sharp in their old club jackets. GO BRADLEY! When the Battle of the Bands ends in a tie, this means that California Dreams and the Billionaires will be competing in a run-off for …. well, I’m not sure what the prize is. Probably an Applebee’s gift card or something.

(Actually, I just rewatched the episode. The prize was $500, the majority of which would probably be spent at Applebee’s.)

Sly decides that Matt should date one of the judges, Angela. Matt doesn’t think that he and Angela have anything in common but then Angela reveals that she also likes the Beatles. ANOTHER BEATLES FAN IN CALIFORNIA!? WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING!? Can Matt tell her the truth about why he asked her out and still win the contest? Who cares? Bradley is clearly a better musician. That said, the Dreams win the contest because the show is named after them. Angela forgives Matt after he gives her tickets to a big concert. “Beethoven!” Angela says, looking at the tickets. Sweetie, he’s not actually going to be there.

Meanwhile, Tony decides to get an earring but freaks out when he sees the needle. Wimp.

Episode 1.2 “Beat Of His Own Drum”

(Directed by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 19th, 1992)

Tony has finally written a song that he’s proud of but it turns out that his father doesn’t care about the band. So, Tony tries to win his father’s love by dropping out of the band and playing football. Eventually, Tony fakes an injury to get out of playing football and rejoins the band.

Meanwhile, Matt’s creepy little brother develops a crush on Tiffani. It’s extremely awkward and uncomfortable to watch.

It all works out in the end. Tony’s dad begrudgingly comes to a California Dreams performance and sees Tony perform his song. While Tony sings, we get to see a music video that I guess is supposed to be taking place in Tony’s head. Tony sings and dances with an umbrella while Matt hops around in a green suit and Jenny poses with two ventriloquist dummies. It’s the type of thing that makes O-Town look edgy. But no matter! Tony wins his father’s support. Yay!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television — 12/26/21 — 1/1/22

Posted on January 1, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Happy 2022! I spent most of this holiday week visiting my sister Megan and her family. That’s been a bit of a Bowman holiday tradition since 2008. We watched a lot of TV. We both love Saved By The Bell and California Dreams so that shouldn’t be too much of surprise. Anyway, there’s much to share this week so let’s get right into what I watched during the final week of 2021!

The Bold and the Beautiful (Weekday afternoons, CBS)

This used to be my show! Of course, it’s been a while since I’ve regularly watched The Bold and the Beautiful but, on Wednesday, I decided to tune in just to see what was happening. People were discussing their relationships and talking about fashion while getting ready for New Year’s. Brooke is still on the show. I might start setting the DVR in 2022.

The Brady Bunch (Sunday Morning, MeTV)

I watched two episodes. First, Greg wanted to drop out of high school to pursue a career as a major league pitcher. He was talked out of it. Is there nothing that the Brady kids weren’t good at? What an annoying family! This was followed by an episode in which Marcia promised she could get Davy Jones to play her high school dance and somehow, she pulled it off because everything always worked out for Marcia. Jan, on the other hand….

California Dreams (DVD)

Megan and I watched a few episodes of this classic 90s NBC sitcom on Friday morning. It’s kind of our New Year’s tradition. We both agreed that Lorena and I have a lot in common. We also watched Tony perform that “Next big thing” song of his. He’s so funky!

Dance Moms (Wednesday, LRW)

LRW did a Dance Moms marathon on Wednesday. I watched a few episodes that morning and it made me realize how much I miss this show. It also brought back a lot of memories for me personally, though my mom was never as crazy as the moms on this show. I wonder if Maddie ever returns Abby’s calls.

Since the show aired on LRW, I got to see all those old “real women” commercials that Lifetime used to air, like the one with the woman talking about the time she scolded her mom for saying she needed a man to explain something to her. “You know, that was her generation, ha ha ha.” All I know is that you just made fun of your mother on national television.

Days of Our Lives (Weekday Afternoons, NBC)

It’s been a while since I’ve watched any of the daytime dramas but my sister Megan informed me that a character on Days of Our Lives had been possessed by the devil since September so, on Tuesday, I decided to watch to see what that was like. From what I saw of it, it looked like a lot of fun. With Marlena tied to her bed and speaking in a gravelly demon voice, everyone was getting ready for the exorcism. “We’re not dealing with your mom,” one character explain, “We’re dealing with …. it.” “You shut your mouth or you’re going to get a face full of holy water!” someone else declared. A priest entered the bedroom and Marlena’s daughter said, “You’re a priest again?” Meanwhile, Patch dressed up as Santa Claus, which was charming in its own weird way. Fortunately, everything worked out in the end. These are indeed the days of our lives.

Dexter: New Blood (Showtime, Sunday Night)

I wrote about the latest episode of Dexter here!

Football Game: Bills vs. Patriots (Sunday Afternoon, CBS)

I watched this on Sunday morning with my sisters. I have to admit that I didn’t pay much attention but I do remember that everyone wanted the Bills to win so I felt obligated to cheer for the Patriots. I don’t remember who actually won, though. Football games are really, really long.

Football Game: Cowboys vs. Football Team (Sunday Night, NBC)

I watched this game with my sister Megan and her husband, John. They got really excited whenever the Cowboys scored. I felt bad for Football Team. I figure that it has to suck to be a member of Football Team because everyone they meet is probably like, “Who do you play for?” and when the player says, “Football team,” everyone probably replies, “I know, but which one?” What I’m saying here is that these guys need a real name if they’re going to succeed. For example, the Cowboys pretty much destroyed Football Team on Sunday. I thought the Cowboys were seriously going to score a 100 points before the game ended. Poor generic Football Team.

General Hospital (Weekday Afternoons, ABC)

I watched an episode on Wednesday. Too much talk, not enough hospital.

Hang Time (YouTube)

Hang Time was basically Saved By The Bell except it centered around a high school basketball team in Indiana. It aired from 1995 to 2000 on NBC and it was never that good but it lives on because every episode has been uploaded to YouTube. NBC is pretty aggressive about taking down unauthorized SBTB uploads but they don’t seem to care much about Hang Time.

Anyway, early Wednesday morning, I forced Megan to watch an episode because I wanted her to hear one line that always amused me. The episode opened, as they often did, with a basketball game. However, for this game, the main characters (including a very young Anthony Anderson) were forced to spend the entire game on the bench while the backup players hit the court and …. uhm, lost. In fact, they lost bad. It turned out the main characters were being punished for getting fake IDs and driving drunk.

About 15 minutes into the episode, one of the backup players is injured but when he limps over to the baseline or the sideline or whatever they call it in basketball, he yells at the coach that he wants to keep playing because, unlike some people, “I CARE ABOUT THE TEAM!” And then coach sends him back into the game despite the fact that the he can barely walk! For some reason, that’s always made me laugh. The coach taught his players a lesson by forcing someone who did nothing wrong to play injured. What a guy!

The Love Boat (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

The Love Boat and another ship traveled to Alaska, where the captains competed to see who was the best. Apparently, it was a promotional gimmick but the competition turned personal when the son of the rival captain decided that he would rather work on the super mellow Love Boat as opposed to his father’s boat. Anyway, it was silly but Alaska looked lovely. Plus, Sonny Bono was on the episode as some sort of hyper corporate guy.

The Office (Weekdays, Comedy Central)

Comedy Central did an Office marathon this week. On Monday, I watched a few episodes from season 2. They kept me happy as I wrote 2,300 words on Monster, one of the most depressing movies ever made. (Look for that review on Monday!) Then, on Tuesday, I watched a few episodes from season 3 while I was writing another 2,000 words about the making of The Godfather Part III. (Look for that post on Monday as well!)

By the time Wednesday rolled around, Comedy Central had started on season 5, which is when the show started to get uneven and, not coincidentally, Ed Helms’s role started to get larger. However, there were still some classic episodes during season 5, like the Golden Ticket episode and The Michael Scott Paper Company arc. Those also just happened to be the episodes that I watched.

By Thursday, we were into season six and …. eh. Season six is when Jim and Pam started to get a bit insufferable in their smugness and there was that whole weird thing where Jim was briefly co-manager. Megan and I watched the Gossip episode and The Meeting episode and we both agreed it was actually kind of rude of Jim to go behind Michael’s back with his whole co-manager idea. We then did a little shopping. When we came back, we caught my two favorite episodes of that season — Scott’s Tots and The Shareholder’s Meeting.

Hey there, Mr. Scott, whatcha going to do? Whatcha going to do? Make our dreams come true!

Parking Wars (Weekday Mornings, A&E)

On Thursday morning, I forced Megan to watch an episode of Parking Wars with me, just so she could understand what I’m always complaining about. For 30 minutes, as we watched the action in Detroit and Philadelphia, I said, “See? This is totally how fascism comes to be accepted!” Megan said she agreed with me, though I think she may have just been saying that …. which is fine! Just as long everyone agrees.

Sabrina, The Teenage Witch (Fuse, Monday Morning)

Sabrina felt that all of her academic accomplishments were being taken for granted so she cast a spell which caused everyone to go crazy over every little thing she did. Needless to say, an important lesson about humility was learned.

As far as I’m concerned, this is the only show about Sabrina, The Teenage Witch that matters. Talking Salem for the win!

Saved By The Bell: The Junior High Years (a.k.a. Good Morning Miss Bliss) (Netflix)

At December 26th, at midnight, my sister Megan and I sat down and watched six episodes of Saved By The Bell. Well, we didn’t actually just spend 2 and a half hours watching them. We were talking and cleaning and laughing and doing other things. But still, we had the show on and we did occasionally pause long enough in all of our other activities to see what was going on.

The episodes that we watched were from the infamous Junior High years. That was when the show aired on the Disney Channel and it was set in Indiana and Slater, Kelly, and Jessie were not on the show. Instead, the show centered around Miss Bliss (Hayley Mills), a British widow who somehow ended up teaching social studies at a junior high in Indiana. At the time, the show was called Good Morning, Miss Bliss. Good Morning, Miss Bliss was canceled after 13 episodes but was then relaunched on NBC, with Zack, Screech, Lisa, and Mr. Belding all somehow relocating to California. The Miss Bliss episodes could probably be written off as non-canon, if not for the fact that many of them were re-aired as episodes of Saved By The Bell, with special introductions in which Zack would say, “This is from when we were in junior high.” It didn’t make any sense but Saved By The Bell just didn’t care.

Anyway, the first episode of Good Morning, Miss Bliss featured Zack lying to a girl about the fact that he was only in the 8th Grade. The girl was played by a very young Carla Gugino, who went on to do much better things with her career. Anyway, Zack learned an important lesson about lying but apparently not important enough to inspire Zack to actually be honest in any future episodes.

The 2nd episode that we watched featured a love letter that kept getting read by the wrong people. Mr. Belding thought Miss Bliss was in love with him. Miss Bliss thought Belding loved her. Lisa thought …. ugh, I’m getting a headache just thinking about it. The most interesting thing about this episode is that the whole stupid plot was later reused in one of the Tori episodes of regular Saved By The Bell.

The third episode that we watched was one of my favorites of the Miss Bliss episodes. Miss Bliss teaches her students about the stock market by investing some of her own money in a stock of their choosing. However, Zack desperately needs money so he invests the money in potatoes. Miss Bliss is furious when she finds out and yells at everyone, which was fun because Miss Bliss was always a bit too perfect to be believed so it was nice to see that, deep down, she was a neurotic mess. Fortunately, she forgave everyone by the end of the episode.

Episode #4 features Zack’s friend Nikki refusing to dissect a frog. Miss Bliss took Nikki’s side but was still upset when Nikki stole all of the frogs. Meanwhile, Mr. Belding was panicking because he thought another school was trying to recruit Miss Bliss so he let Miss Bliss have anything that she wanted. However, Mr. Belding soon realized he was mistaken and promptly took everything back. TAKE THAT, MISS BLISS!

Episode #5 left Megan and I totally confused. Zack was upset because Miss Bliss was dating his father. The divorce of the Morrises had been hard on Zack and, as a result, Zack was totally acting out. What’s weird is that Zack’s parents were NOT divorced in the high school episodes of Saved By The Bell. It’s almost as if the writers just didn’t care.

Finally, Episode #6 featured Screech getting targeted by the school bully. However, it turned out that the bully was just upset because he was illiterate. That would have upset me too. Having learned a valuable lesson about bullying, Megan and I decided we had watched enough Saved By The Bell for that morning.

On Monday morning, we watched the remaining 7 Miss Bliss episodes. Again, we didn’t just watch. We talked and laughed and made plans while the show played in the background. To be honest, we probably paid even less attention on Monday than we did on Sunday. By this point, we’ve both got every episode of this stupid show memorized so it’s not like we really had to focus to know what was going on.

Episode #7 was a school dance episode. I guess, technically, it was the first ever SBTB dance episode. Mr. Belding was worried about a fight breaking out at the dance. A first actually did break out at the dance between Zack and his loser friend, Mickey. Mickey liked a girl but she liked Zack. Fortunately, Miss Bliss was there to save the day.

In Episode #8, Zack got out of taking a midterm by releasing Screech’s pet rats in the school. Megan and I found the idea of a school closing down because of rats to be hilarious. Seriously, I’ve seen rodents running around college campuses, ducking from classroom to classroom. Anyway, due to Zack’s selfishness, it appeared that Miss Bliss would miss out on her chance to be named Teacher of the Year. Fortunately, everyone teamed up to help her because, of course, the entire school revolved around keeping her happy.

In Episode #9, Zack and his other other loser friend, Nikki, teamed up for a class project but Zack expected her to do all the work. (Boooo!) It led to a rift in their friendship but Zack fixed it all by apologizing in front of the entire class. Megan and I both agreed that was probably an awkward experience for all the other students who were forced to sit through it.

Episode #10 found the junior high in the midst of a prank war. Who pranked Miss Bliss and ruined her ugly sweater!? Everyone thought it was Screech and the class held a mock trial as opposed to just burning him at the stake. Screech was acquitted and it turned out that he was actually framed by Miss Bliss, who wanted to teach the class about the jury system. Neither Megan nor I cared much for this episode and we agreed that it was proof that Miss Bliss was a terrible teacher who didn’t really consider what being forced through a mock trial could do to a young student’s psyche.

Episode #11 was the silliest episode of all. It turned out that Miss Bliss’s former student, Colleen Morton, was now a pop star named …. STEVIE! Zack made a bet with everyone that he could get a kiss from Stevie. He did get a kiss, but it was from Colleen. It was only later that Zack figured out that Colleen and Stevie were one in the same! Zack lost the bet, even though he was being honest about having been kissed by her. So, I guess the lesson here is that Saved By The Bell took place in a post-truth world.

Episode #12 featured Zack pledging to some sort of weird ninth grade fraternity. The frat demanded that Zack mistreat all of his friends and then, after Zack had lost everyone’s friendship, they revealed they were just playing a joke on him. For some weird reason, Miss Bliss was the principal while Mr. Belding taught home room. At first, everyone thought that Miss Bliss was both the perfect principal and the perfect teacher but then it turned out that Miss Bliss didn’t actually bother to get permission from the school board for any of the “good” things that she did and all of her solutions backfired. TAKE THAT, MISS BLISS!

Finally, we ended things with the 13th and final episode of the Miss Bliss years. Miss Bliss’s mentor showed up at the school and helped to teach her class. His unorthodox methods were frowned upon by Mr. Belding. Personally, I think Belding had a point but whatever. The important thing is that Megan and I survived all 13 episodes.

Silk Stalkings (Tubi)

I decided to binge all 8 seasons of the stylish 90s crime show, Silk Stalkings. This show also airs on one of the retro channels, ZLiving. It was a stylish show about rich people doing bad things, often while undressed. The first few seasons starred Rob Estes and Mitzi Kapture as Chris and Rita, two detectives who worked together to solve crimes and who generated endless amounts of sexual tension.

My sister Megan and I watched the pilot on Monday. Chris and Rita investigated the murder of a model. Not surprisingly, the pilot was mostly about introducing Chris and Rita and establishing that they were attractive people who would be worth watching. The pilot did a good job of just that. Estes and Kapture had obvious chemistry from the start. Even overly cutesy things — like calling each other “Sam” — were charming when they did it. A good deal of time was devoted to Rita recovering from an aneurism, with gave the audiences a chance to see just how much Chris cared about his partner. It was sweet, even if I have to agree with Rita that Chris was being a bit overprotective. After the pilot, Megan and I watched two more episodes. Chris and Rita investigate an old rich man who was shooting snuff films in his private sex dungeon and Rita came to terms with the tragic details of her father’s death. And then, a rich car salesman was found floating in the ocean. Fortunately, Chris and Rita were able to bring his very attractive killers to justice!

On Tuesday, we watched an episode in which Chris and Rita solved the murder of a wealthy (naturally) man who was killed on a golf course by an assailant who wielding a meat hook! AGCK! It was a grisly case but the important thing is that everyone involved was attractive. Rita got shot towards the end of the episode. She survived but Megan and I were still like, “Awwwwww!” when Chris got all worried about it. This was followed by a fun episode in which Chris and Rita investigated the murder of a Congressman. You might be surprised to learn that investigating the death of a politician involves talking to a lot of half-naked people. Chris and Rita (especially Chris) were up for the job! This episode also featured a cute little subplot where Chris tried to help Rita deal with her insomnia. Rita had a big poster that simply read, “ART!” in her bedroom.

The first episode that we watched on Wednesday featured Chris and Rita investigating the murder of a half-naked,rich woman. This led to a scene in which they arrested a naked man who, standing in his hot tub, announced that “I heard you would need a semen sample. I was just getting warmed up for you.” Meanwhile, Chris reconnected with an ex-girlfriend who was now working as a stripper. Reconnecting, in this case, meant spending a lot of time at the beach. It was a fun episode. The second episode found Chris and Rita investigating the murder of a sleazy tabloid publisher. Of course, if this show had been made today, he would have just owned a clickbait factory and his death would have been live-streamed. Chis was also upset that Rita had a date with a guy that she barely knew. The date, of course, led to wild limo sex because seriously, what else are you going to do in a limo?

We got things started on Thursday with an episode about a decadent socialite who was drowned in her own pool. Chris and Rita eventually discovered that the killer was a psycho named James who, ironically enough, also ended up dying in a pool. Of course, James killed himself by jumping into the water while holding a sander. We then watched an episode featuring Chris and Rita investigating a murder that had been committed by a bunch of frat boys. Megan and I both agreed that frat boys were the worst!

The Steve Wilkos Show (Weekday Morning, Channel 33)

Hey, Steve Wilkos! Giving lie detector tests and changing lives! Good for you, Steve! I watched your show on Wednesday morning because I was waking up and getting ready for my day and I was basically too busy to change the channel! Get the Hell off my stage!

The Tribe (Pluto TV)

The Tribe is a British/New Zealand co-production that ran for five seasons in the last 90s and the early aughts. It takes place in a future in which all of the adults have been killed by a mysterious virus, leaving behind only children and teenagers who have all formed “tribes,” and who are having to grow up in a world ruled by fear and anarchy. A friend of mine has been recommending this show to me for a while. One of my New Year’s resolutions was to finally check it out!

And that’s what I did. On Saturday morning, around 2 a.m., I watched the first episode on Pluto. It was pretty good. It quickly set up the premise and introduced the characters. Actually, it did quite a bit in just 25 minutes. After meeting in an abandoned city, the main tribe took refuge in a mall. Meanwhile, on the outside, a group of teenagers drove around in a cop car, the siren wailing ominously. It was was an intriguing opening and, after watching the first episode, I decided that The Tribe would be one of the shows that I would binge over the course of 2022.

The Twilight Zone (Saturday and Sunday, SyFy)

I got a few episodes of SyFy’s annual Twilight Zone marathon. On Saturday, I saw Burgess Meredith break his glasses. I saw the one with the hitch-hiker who kept saying, “Going my way?” And I saw one of my absolute favorite episodes, The Monsters Are Due On Maple Street. On Sunday, the highlight included Twenty-Two (“Room for one more!”), Peter Falk playing Castro in The Mirror, The Hunt (in which a man realizes that only Hell would refuse to allow dogs), The Bard (in which Shakespeare met Burt Reynolds), and The Changing of the Guard with the great Donald Pleasence!

The Young and the Restless (Weekday mornings, CBS)

Because I had so much fun with Days of Our Lives on Tuesday, I decided to watch The Young and The Restless on Wednesday. Unfortunately, the episode of Y&R that I saw was a bit dry, with a lot of scenes of people standing around and talking about a lawsuit. It was kind of boring but at least everyone looked good!

What Lisa and Megan Watched Last Night #95: California Dreams 3.10 “Daddy’s Girl” (dir by Patrick Maloney)

Posted on December 1, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’ve been spending the weekend visiting my sister Megan and her family. Last night, Megan and I watched yet another episode of the mediocre yet oddly entertaining 90s sitcom, California Dreams.

Why Were We Watching It?

So, last night, after everyone else in the house was sound asleep, Megan and I were awake and doing some sisterly bonding, which — when you’re a member of the Bowman clan — usually concludes with watching something silly.

But what to watch? Because I have the greatest big sister in the world, Megan happens to have every season of Saved By The Bell: The New Class on DVD and, at first, I was really tempted to suggest that we watch something from the storied history of Bayside High. But, when I actually thought about it, I knew that we simply had to watch yet another episode of California Dreams.

Last night, we watched a handful of episodes but I specifically decided to review the “Daddy’s Girl” episode because it was the episode that preceded the Family Trees episode, which just happens to also be the last episode of the show that I reviewed for this site.

(As some of our regular readers my remember, it’s been nearly a year since Megan first introduced me to this show when, during the Christmas holidays, we sat down and watched the 4th season episode, Dancing Isn’t Everything. )

What Was It About?

Future steroid addict Tiffani Smith (Kelly Packard) is worried because her father has been alone ever since her parents got divorced. (I assume that the Smiths got divorced though it’s never specifically stated, beyond Mr. Smith saying, “Ever since your mother left…” So, it’s entirely possible that Tiffani’s mom may have joined a cult or something.) Tiffani arranges for her father to meet Ariel (Kristine Sutherland), a woman who claims to be an expert in dolphins. Mr. Smith and Ariel hit it off and, at first, Tiffani is super excited!

However, Mr. Smith is soon spending all of him time hanging out with Ariel and a jealous Tiffani ends up having one of those extremely elaborate and plot-specific nightmares that always seem to happen on California Dreams. So, with the help of Ariel’s criminal record, Tiffani breaks up her dad’s new relationship.

Problem solved, right?

Nope. Now that Mr. Smith is alone again, Tiffani feels guilty and seriously, you have to wonder if there’s ever been a more wishy-washy character than Tiffani Smith. So, Tiffani tries to get Ariel and Mr. Smith back together by singing them a song.

Meanwhile, in the B plot, Mark (Aaron Jackson) has come up with a computer program that tells Samantha (Jennie Kwan), Tony (William James Jones), Jake (Jay Anthony Franke), and Lorena (Diana Uribe) that none of them are compatible. Since this was made in the 1990s, everyone automatically believes anything determined by a computer to be true and, as a result, there are mass breakups.

What Worked?

As soon as Ariel first stepped into Sharky’s, Megan and I immediately exclaimed, “Buffy!” That’s because Ariel was played by Kristine Sutherland who is better known for playing Joyce Summers, the mother of Buffy the Vampire Slayer! This, of course, led to Megan and I imagining a scenario where Tiffani’s dad turned out to be a vampire and Buffy had to destroy him. That was a lot of fun.

I thought it was funny just how terrified Tony was of having to listen to Mr. Smith talk about humpback whales. It made me smile.

What Did Not Work?

To be honest, this episode really had a pretty bad message and I’m glad that I didn’t see it whenever it originally aired because it probably would have given me a lot of false hope. Tiffani’s father goes out with Ariel because Tiffani wants him to. He breaks up with Ariel because Tiffani wants him to. And then, eventually, they get back together again because Tiffani is really sorry and really wants everything to be better.

This episode takes place in a world where a daughter can heal a broken family just through sheer willpower and desire. It’s a world where, even if that daughter screws everything up, all she has to do is let everyone know how sorry she is and then sing a pretty song and magically, everything will be better. It would be nice if that was true but it’s not and that’s one of the hardest lessons to learn when you’re young and convinced that, since everything is somehow your fault, you’re also capable of fixing it all and making everyone happy again.

On a less serious note, do the members of the California Dreams ever do anything other than eat? Seriously! Almost every episode seems to feature them whining about how they don’t have any money and yet, they spend all of their time at Sharky’s eating. If Mark is really struggling financially, maybe he shouldn’t have ordered that expensive desert.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

As usual, I related to Lorena because she had really pretty hair and the best fashion sense of anyone on the show. Plus, I’ve got a weakness for bad boys who wear big, bulky jackets.

As I told Megan last night, much like Tiffani, I also spent a lot of my teenage years wishing that I could sing a song that would somehow make everything better.

“Lisa Marie,” Megan said, “that’s sweet but you know you can’t sing.”

And she’s right. I can’t carry a tune to save my life.

Lessons Learned

Humpback whales are boring.

What Lisa and Evelyn Watched Last Night #89: California Dreams 3.11 “Family Trees” (dir by Patrick Maloney)

Posted on September 11, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, my BFF Evelyn and I watched yet another old episode of California Dreams.

Why Were We Watching It?

As I’ve explained before, my sister Megan got me hooked on this silly old show called California Dreams last Christmas. For whatever reason, I continue to find myself oddly intrigued by this mediocre 90s sitcom. While I was on my vacation last week, it occurred to me that it had been a while since I last shared and reviewed an episode of California Dreams on this site so I resolved that, as soon as I got back, one of the first things I would do would be to remedy that situation.

As for how Ms. Evelyn ended up watching it with me — well, Evelyn’s a very good friend.

What Was It About?

It’s time for another wacky class assignment! Since the members of the California Dreams all have the exact same class schedule, that means that they all get the same assignment: to research their family trees.

All the Dreams discover that they come from distinguished backgrounds, except for Tony who opens up one book to one random page and, after spending less than a minute reading, announces: “My ancestors were slaves!”

So, Tony claims to be descended from royalty and, because everyone at Pacific Coast High School is an idiot, they’re soon carrying him around on their shoulders and talking about setting up a royal harem.

Things are looking pretty good for Tony but then, as often happens on this show, a ghost visits him during the night and sets him straight.

What Worked?

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m usually pretty lenient when it comes to judging old episodes of California Dreams. After all, it was made back in the 90s and, especially when compared to something like Saved By The Bell: The New Class, the members of the cast did the best that they could with the material they were given.

But seriously, of all the episodes that I’ve viewed on YouTube so far, Family Trees is without a doubt the worst. Good intentions aside, absolutely nothing worked in this episode.

Strangely enough, however, the fact that it is so truly bad makes this episode oddly fascinating. The fact that nothing works is what makes this episode watchable.

What Did Not Work?

Where to begin?

Okay, first off — I understand that this show was probably written with the best of intentions but are we to seriously believe that, before getting this particular class assignment, Tony apparently had no idea about the history of slavery in the United States?

Secondly, who could have guessed that all you had to do to research your family history was check out a book from the library and then open it up to a random page?

Third, Tony getting visited by the ghost of an ancestor reminded me of the fact that, just a few episodes later, Sam would be visited by the ghost of an ancestor! One gets the idea that the show’s writers were perhaps running out of ideas.

Fourth, what is the deal with the lack of classrooms at the high school? I swear, every class that they take seems to be located in that same tiny classroom.

Fifth, the Dreams did not perform during this episode. Couldn’t they have written a special “Be Yourself” song in order to make Tony feel better about himself? It seems selfish not to.

However, this episode’s biggest problem was pointed out by Evelyn when she said, “Why is everyone at that school so easily impressed?” And, seriously, she is so totally right.

Let’s say that one day, Arleigh informed me that he was descended from royalty. Would that cause me to treat him any differently? Well, of course, it would! I mean, who isn’t impressed by royalty? (Myself, I consider Pippa Middleton to be my royal role model.) However, eventually, I would stop calling him “your highness” and begging him to say stuff like, “I declare him to be an outlawwwwwwwwwww!” and things would get back to normal here at the Shattered Lens. However, the students at PCHS are so impressed by Tony’s claim to be descended from a king that they immediately form some sort of odd cult of personality.

And why, if they’re so impressed by Tony’s claim to royal lineage, are they not impressed by the fact that Lorena is legitimately descended from power?

Seriously, that school sucks.

“OMG! Just like me!” Moments

As usual, I related so much to Lorena that I’m tempted to think that my cousin might be Mario Lopez.

(As far as my family tree is concerned, I am of Irish-Italian-Spanish-German ancestry, with a bit of French mixed in there as well. If I was in that class, they’d have to set aside an entire week for me to give my full report.)

Lessons Learned

Surf dudes with attitude are kinda groovy. Especially when they’re feeling mellow…

What Lisa and Evelyn Watched Last Night #82: California Dreams 3.16 “The Treasure of PCH” (directed by Patrick Maloney)

Posted on June 8, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, my BFF Evelyn and I watched yet another episode of the 90s sitcom, California Dreams.

Why Were We Watching It?

As I’ve mentioned in my previous posts about California Dreams, I started watching this show because all of the old episodes of Saved By The Bell: The New Class were taken down from YouTube.

Actually, last night was my fourth or fifth time to watch this particular episode. For the past few weeks, I’ve been meaning to do a write-up on The Treasure of PCH and each time, I’ve ended up not having time to get it written. However, since this feature is called What Lisa Watched Last Night, that meant that each day I tried to write this review, I also had to rewatch the episode the night before. Last night, as I sat through the Treasure of PCH for yet another time, I promised myself that I would not let this day end without writing the review you’re currently reading.

Evelyn was watching with me because I asked her too and she’s the best! That said, she did say that she’s never going to forgive me for making her watch this episode. (Then again, she said that after the last episode we watched, as well…)

What Was It About?

Fueled by their mellow take on California reggae (yeah yeah yeah), the California Dreams are rich! Well, they’re not really rich but they are making more money than they’ve ever made before. Lorena (Diane Uribe) is concerned that the Dreams are getting greedy. Jake (Jay Anthony Franke) argues that the Dreams don’t care about money.

Jake’s belief is touching but rather odd, especially when you consider the fact that, in the previous episode, the Dreams dishonored the memory of Sam’s (Jennie Kwan) grandmother in order to make money and the fact that, in the very next episode, Tiffani (Kelly Packard) would be driven to abuse steroids in order to make money. In fact, just about every episode of California Dreams seems to be about the Dreams doing something weird and/or stupid to make money.

Maybe Jake just isn’t that smart.

Anyway, Lorena bets Jake that greed can tear people apart. They proceed to come up with a plan to test everyone’s loyalty. Will the Dreams prove Jake right or will they behave in the exact same way that they behave in every other episode of this show?

What Worked?

I always enjoy the Lorena-centric episodes, just because Lorena’s the character that I tend to have the most in common with.

I actually appreciated the fact that Lorena and Jake’s plan fell apart because they made a fairly believable mistake. Admittedly, it’s a pretty stupid mistake but, for the most part, this episode is about people acting stupid.

“Gotta find the money…gotta find the money…” I have to admit that I laughed at that. That said, for someone so intent on finding the money, Sly (Michael Cade) didn’t really seem to be looking as much as he was just randomly running about.

“DIAMONDS!” Jay Anthony Franke’s delivery of this line was so over-the-top that it was oddly charming.

What Did Not Work?

“Surf dude with attitudes…” Seriously, the blandness of that song never ceases to amaze me. (And who is that old guy fishing?)

It’s difficult to take the show’s lesson seriously when that lesson is more or less dependent upon everyone acting like a total idiot.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Since this episode was pretty much dependent upon everyone acting like a total and complete idiot, I would like to say that there weren’t any “Oh my God! Just like me!” moments in the entire show.

However, I do really like diamonds…

Lessons Learned

Greed can tear apart even the best friendships…or something like that.