Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.16 “Vintage ’54”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, the key words on the highway of California are “team work!”

Episode 1.16 “Vintage ’54”

(Dir by Barry Crane, originally aired on January 26th, 1978)

It’s a three-day weekend and that means the California Highway Patrol even more mayhem to deal with than usual!

For instance, two car thieves are driving up and down the highway, searching for classic cars.  One stolen car belongs to 85 year-old Margaret Downey (Marjorie Bennett), who proceeds to go down to the station and personally demand that Sgt. Getraer find her car.  The thieves are eventually caught, thanks to the entire Highway Patrol working as a team and keeping an eye out for stolen cars.  The emphasis here was on teamwork, which Ponch and Baker just doing their part as opposed to be singled out.

It’s also teamwork that reunites a baby with the family that accidentally left her behind at a rest stop.  Ponch and Baker are the ones who take the baby to the station and they’re the ones who nickname the baby “Princess” and buy her toys but, in the end, it’s the entire Highway Patrol working together that eventually brings the baby back to her grateful parents.

Baker and Ponch do get a moment in the spotlight when a skydiver ends up getting tangled up and hanging from a highway overpass.  Baker is the one who grabs hold of her legs to keep her from falling while Ponch is the one who recruits a crane to help rescue her.  But again, Baker and Ponch are not working alone.  Instead, there are other motorists who help out, some by holding onto Baker and another by allowing Ponch to use his crane.

My point is that this episode was all about people working together to make the world a better and a safer place.  That’s not a bad message and the show delivers it with a good deal of sincerity.  With the exception of the scenery-chewing Marjorie Bennett, everyone is on their best behavior with this episode, with even Erik Estrada toning down his usual overacting.  And, of course, there’s two exciting motorcycle chases, both of which are very well-filmed.  There was nothing particularly amazing about this episode.  It was pretty much a typical hour of CHiPs but it was still very well-done.

Next week, Ponch and Baker have an important lesson to teach about hitchhiking!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 1.15 “Surf’s Up”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Ponch and Baker hit the beach!

Episode 1.15 “Surf’s Up”

(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on January 19th, 1978)

At the beginning of this week’s episode, Ponch and Baker are miserable.

Los Angeles, the city that they’ve taken an oath to protect, is no longer as friendly as it once was.  The highways are congested.  The chases are long and tedious.  The citizens don’t seem to appreciate the highway patrol’s hard work.  When Baker is forced to throw a reckless driver on someone else’s hood in order to arrest him, the owner of the car (Fran Ryan) yells at him for scratching her car and threatens to sue the department.

Ponch and Baker need a break!

At first, Getraer is dismissive of their concerns.  He points out, quite sensibly, that he can’t approve their request for a temporary transfer just because they’re having a bad day.  They work in Los Angeles and not every day is going to be a perfect day.

“Thanks a lot, pal,” Ponch snaps.

“I’m your sergeant,” Getraer starts, “if you want a pal….”

“Join the Police Athletic League, we know,” Baker says.

Fortunately, for Ponch and John, the Malibu division has a few men who have gotten the flu so Getraer, realizing that he doesn’t want to have to listen to Ponch and Jon whine for a whole week, finally agrees to giving them a temporary transfer.

The rest of the episode follows Ponch and John as they patrol Malibu.  It turns out that Malibu has the same problems as Los Angeles but it’s also closer to the beach.  (“You can hear the ocean from headquarters!” an excited Ponch says.)  Not only do Ponch and Baker stop a car theft (and save the baby who was trapped in the back seat) but they also catch a gang of van thieves.  Ponch also takes a few kids from the neighborhood to Disneyland, in order to make up for having incorrectly accused one of them of having stolen a radio and bunch of sunflowers.

Of course, we don’t actually see Ponch at Disneyland.  We just hear about afterwards.  What we do see is Ponch and Baker hanging out on the beach and trying out a jet ski.  As I watched this episode, it occurred to me that CHiPs really wasn’t a police show as much as it was an hour long commercial for California.  The theme of this episode appeared to be, “Even if Los Angeles is too crowded and smoggy for you, you can still go to Malibu, meet and date two flight attendants, and conquer the ocean on a jet ski!”  And really, this show is at its most effective when it focuses on being a travelogue.  I imagine quite a few people watched this episode in 1978 and thought to themselves, “I have to get to Malibu!”

Scenery aside, this is a bit of a dull episode.  The van thieves were not particularly impressive villains and even the show’s famous chase scenes felt a bit perfunctory.  As a drama, this episode fell flat but it worked wonderfully as a commercial.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.14 “Rustling”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, CHiPs makes me cry!

Episode 1.14 “Rustling”

(Dir by Phil Bondelli, originally aired on January 12th, 1978)

This week’s episode of CHiPs featured a scene that brought tears to my mismatched eyes.

A drunk driver (played by G.W. Bailey) swerves across the highway and causes another car to flip over.  While Ponch chases after the driver, Baker goes to investigate the crash.  He discovers that the car’s driver is a 17 year-old girl named Susie (Pamelyn Ferdin) and she has been pinned under the wreckage.  He manages to free her and carry her away from the car before it explodes.  YAY!  Another life saved by Jon Baker, right?

That’s when Susie says that she can’t feel her legs.

That scene got to me.  It was far more well-acted than anything that I think one would normally expect to find on a episode of CHiPs, with both Ferdin and Larry Wilcox bringing a lot of emotional sincerity to their roles.  Susie realizes that she may never walk again.  Baker realizes that, just because he saved her from the car, he can’t save Susie from the other consequences of the accident.  I wanted to cry.  Actually, I did cry.

Now, I should admit that I’m recovering from a sprained ankle and I was doing my ankle exercises while watching this scene.  So, not only did I already have tears in my eyes (seriously, some of those exercises hurt!) but I was also feeling pretty emotional.  But still, even if I was just watching this scene while sitting on a couch, I think it would have had the same effect on me.

Of course, for the record, Ponch does capture the drunk driver (and the driver starts to sob when he realizes what he has done).  And, by the end of the episode, Baker is informed that Susie is going to be okay.  I was happy about that.

Excuse me, I’m starting to cry again….

Okay, believe it or not, that was only a small part of the episode.  The main storyline featured the great L.Q. Jones as a cattle rustler who, when he’s not driving his truck full of stolen cattle, rides a motorcycle.  Fortunately, after a lengthy chase, Baker and Ponch are able to capture him and his accomplice (Paul Tuerpe).  It was a pretty simple story but, at the same time, L.Q. Jones was one of those brilliant character actors who make even the most mundane of characters interesting.

Also, over the course of the episode, Ponch and Baker deal with an irate driver (Mill Watson) who claims that he was only speeding because his gear shift failed.  In court, Ponch is able to prove that the gear shift didn’t break by pointing out that the brake lights would have come on in that case.  (“Your honor,” the defense attorney says, “my client would like to change his plea to guilty.”)  Ponch and Baker also stop a magician and his assistant and are so fascinated by the magician’s tricks that they nearly forget to write his assistant a ticket.

Finally, Ponch arranges for everyone to meet at Baker’s apartment to throw him a surprise birthday party.  Whoops!  Baker’s birthday isn’t for another three months.  Ponch looked at Baker’s personnel file and misread his employment number as being his birthdate.  Oh, Ponch!  Still, the party is a success.  Getraer shows up with zucchini.  The magician shows up and performs a trick that involves tossing milk on Ponch and Baker.  What?  Well, whatever.

What’s important is that one scene that brought tears my eyes.  The rest of the episode may have been generic but that one scene was beautifully done and I’ll never forget it.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.13 “One Two Many”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Baker has a double!

Episode 1.13 “One Two Many”

(Dir by Paul Krasny, originally aired on January 5th, 1978)

This week’s episode of CHiPs opens with a member of the California Highway Patrol pulling over a woman on the highway.  From a distance, he looks a bit like Jon Baker.  However, it soon becomes obvious that he’s not Baker when the fake highway patrolman (played by William Whitaker) says something offensive to the woman in the car.  We don’t hear what he said but the woman announces that she’s never been spoken to so crudely and drives back into traffic.  She also causes a crash as another car swerves to avoid her.  Inside the car, a woman is about to give birth.  Her husband begs for the fake patrolman’s help.  Instead, the suddenly panicked faker drives away.

Fortunately, Baker and Ponch then roll up and they get their day started by helping to deliver a baby.  As usual, it’s Baker who actually knows what to do while Ponch stands around and flashes that blinding grin of his.

Back at headquarters, the woman from the car has filed a complaint against the obscene patrolman.  When she takes a look at the pictures of all of the patrolman who were on duty at the time, she selects Baker.  Knowing that Baker isn’t turned on by anything outside of memories of his life Montana, Sgt. Getraer figures out that there’s a fake cop out there, one who looks just like Jon Baker!

Appropriately enough, Baker and Ponch are the ones who finally arrest him.  Actually, they cross paths with the guy several times, suggesting that God himself means for them to meet.  At one point, Baker and Ponch see a woman named Jobina (Trish Stewart) who is struggling with the fake cop.  They assume that she’s resisting arrest and they grab her.  The fake cop runs off while another real cop — this one from the LAPD — shows up and demands to know what’s going on.  It’s all a bit messy but let’s give credit where credit is due.  William Whitaker is effectively creepy as the fake cop while Trish Stewart gives a strong and emotionally realistic performance as the most prominent of his victims.  After everything she’s been through, she doesn’t want to spend time with any cops, whether they’re real or fake.  The show seems to understand that she has a point.

While this is going on, Ponch is getting on Baker’s last nerve.  Ponch’s RV is being fixed for numerous electronic problems so Ponch moves into Baker’s tastefully decorated apartment.  It turns out that Ponch is not easy to live with, as he really likes to listen to music while he’s sleeping.  As well, Ponch keeps hitting on all of Baker’s neighbors.  In the end, Baker decided to say in Ponch’s damaged RV while Ponch stays in the apartment so let’s just hope the building manager doesn’t find out because next week, both Baker and Ponch might be homeless!

We’ll find out next Monday!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.11 “Name Your Price”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Ponch again fails to get rich.

Episode 1.11 “Name Your Price”

(Dir by Ric Rondell, originally aired on December 8th, 1977)

This week’s episode opens on an unusually somber note for CHiPs.  It begins in a cemetery.  A woman (Jaime Lynn Bauer) is dressed in chic funeral black and appears to be attending a service.  But it soon turns out that she’s actually just making sure that everyone is so distracted by mourning that they won’t notice her stealing a Rolls Royce!

It turns out that a Rolls is not quite as easy to steal as she thought and soon, she finds herself being pursued by Ponch and Baker.  It’s a chase that leads from the highway and into the city and, to Ponch and Baker’s shock, they lose sight of the stolen car.

“How does a Rolls Royce vanish!?” Ponch asks, in shock.

Ponch is a bit distracted himself this episode.  He has been accepted as a contestant on a game show called Name Your PriceName Your Price is obviously meant to be The Price Is Right and Ponch spends the majority of the episode memorizing the price tags on appliances.  Unfortunately, Ponch does not memorize the price tag of a motorcycle and therefore, he turns out to be a bit of a bust when he appears on the show.  As Baker and his date sneak out of the studio, Ponch is humiliated as the show’s host wonders how a motorcycle cop could not know how much a motorcycle costs.

Oh, Ponch — will you ever win!?

It’s not all bad for Ponch.  He and Baker pull over a car and Ponch is excited to discover that it’s occupied by the two stars of his favorite soap opera.  (Does Ponch do anything other than watch television?)  And Ponch also gets to help out when a chicken truck is involved in a minor accident and dozens of chickens end up running around the highway.  As usual, the main emphasis of this episode is on the idea of the members of the highway patrol working together and keeping the streets safe for chickens and humans.  Yes, this episode says, the CHiPs do chase car thieves and arrest criminals.  But usually, they’re just taking care of mundane tasks and getting little thanks and little pay.

This episode was entertaining.  I enjoyed looking at the cars that were stolen.  If you’re going to commit a crime, you might as well commit it for a Rolls Royce.  And the ending with the game show was a lot more effective than the typical CHiPs ending.  Ponch has spent the first 11 episodes of this show destroying motorcycles so it’s a nice bit of humor that a motorcycle would destroy his chance to get rich.  That’s karma!

Next week, Baker and Ponch continue to keep L.A. safe!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.10 “Highway Robbery”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Baker meets an old friend and Ponch is nearly commits a crime.

Episode 1.10 “Highway Robbery”

(Dir by Nicholas Colasanto, originally aired on December 1st, 1977)

There’s a man on a motorcycle who is driving up and down the highways of California.  Whenever he comes across a traffic jam, he pulls up to people’s car and snatches whatever he can.  One man loses his wallet and his watch.  A woman has her purse taken.  When Ponch and Baker arrest him, the thief is revealed to be Leo Norrison (David Wilson), an old high school classmate of Baker’s.

Baker and Leo used to play on the school’s football team.  As Baker explains it, Leo was the student that everyone looked up to.  He was “Mr. Most Likely To Succeed.”  However, Leo fell on hard times after high school.  He won a scholarship to play football in college but then he flunked the entrance exam.  He joined the army but ended up losing his temper and striking his captain.  Now, with a dishonorable discharge on his record, Leo is unemployable and bitter.

Baker offers to help Leo out and Leo seems to appreciate the offer.  But, soon enough, Leo is back to stealing purses.  When Baker and Ponch arrest him for a second time, it’s clear that Leo will not be getting any more chances at redemption.

Wow, what a sad story for an episode of CHiPs!  Larry Wilcox can be a bit of a stiff actor but he actually did a really good job in this episode.  Baker couldn’t believe that his high school hero was now a petty criminal and Leo couldn’t believe that Baker had ever looked up to him.  As I watched this episode, I found myself wondering how many of my old high school classmates were now in jail.

Of course, this episode wasn’t all sad.  For instance, there was a rather lengthy scene that centered around a minor accident involving a traveling circus.  One of the circus’s elephants helped to pull a truck over to the side of the road.  Good elephant!

And then there was Ponch’s storyline.  In this episode, Ponch is even more cringey than usual.  He has grown obsessed with a model in an ad for suntan lotion, to the extent that he’s constantly putting on suntan lotion and he has a cut-out of the ad hanging in his locker.  When Ponch learn that the model is a friend of Getraer’s family, Ponch begs Getraer to set him up on a blind date.  Getraer says it’s not a good idea but Ponch insists.  Finally, Getraer relents.

Ponch shows up at the model’s house and discovers that Getraer is already there, having a glass of brandy with the model’s father (James Beach).  They tell Ponch that “Janey” will be right down.  When Janey (Wendy Fredericks) finally does come down to meet her date, Ponch is shocked to discover that …. SHE’S 15!

Getraer mention that Janey looks older in photographs.  Baker and two other officers — Fitz (Lew Saunders) and Grossman (Paul Linke, a future series regular) — step into the living room and start laughing.  Getraer laughs.  Janey’s father laughs.  Janey accepts Ponch’s flowers and then rests her head on his shoulder as the credits role….

So, just to repeat — SHE’S FIFTEEN!

Obviously, Ponch didn’t know that but still, it’s bizarre to see Janey’s father laughing about a 30 year-old showing up at the house to go on a date with his fifteen year-old daughter.  Getraer essentially set Ponch up to potentially commit a felony and everyone thinks its hilarious.  As the end credits rolled, I kept expecting Chris Hansen to step in the room and demand that everyone have a seat and explain what exactly it is they though they were doing.

Weird episode.  The stuff involving Leo was surprisingly well-done for this show.  The stuff with Ponch was truly cringe-inducing.  I mean, even if Janey had been an adult, Ponch’s obsession with her would have been creepy.  In the end, Baker’s friend went to jail and Ponch was thoroughly humiliated.  I guess it all balances out.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.9 “Hustle”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Ponch gets bowling fever!

Episode 1.9 “Hustle”

(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on November 24th, 1977)

Life is a hustle when you work for the California Highway Patrol.

Ponch and Baker deal with a lot of things over the course of this episode.  While pursuing two motorcycle riders who are suspected of holding up a grocery store, Ponch gets a cigarette tossed on him by a passing motorist.  The suspects turn out to be two women who were just out for an afternoon ride.  They seem to be pretty amused by the whole thing, despite the fact that Baker roughly frisked them as soon as they pulled over.  Luckily, the sight of the hole that was left on Ponch’s uniform by the cigarette (and the boxers underneath) gives everyone an excuse to laugh.

This is not the best time for Ponch to have a wardrobe malfunction because he’s due in court.  Ponch gave a ticket to Sidney Engelhart (Marty Ingels) but Sidney claims that the only person who is guilty of reckless driving is Ponch.  Sidney tries to prove his point by basically stalking Ponch while he does his job.

While Ponch deals with his stalker, Baker pulls over a car being driven by veteran screen actor Broderick Crawford.  Ponch is totally excited to see Crawford but Baker is fairly nonchalant about the whole thing.  When his pen runs out of ink, Baker borrows Crawford’s gold fountain pen and then forgets to return it to the actor, which leads to Baker getting called out at the next morning briefing.

Meanwhile, there’s a huge car accident that leads to Ponch and Baker saving a mother and her baby from a live electrical wire.  Baker also pulls over a man driving a car that only has three wheels and, of course, there are the grocery store robbers to deal with.

And yet, for everything going on, Ponch’s main concern remains the department’s bowling tournament.  As has been a consistent theme so far during the first season of CHiPs, Ponch’s main concern continues to be doing things that don’t have much to do with his actual job.  Whereas Baker comes across as if nothing makes him happier than writing a speeding ticket, Ponch often seems to view policework as something to do until something better comes along.  On the one hand, this does not make Ponch a particularly effective cop.  We’re only 9 episodes into the series and I’ve lost count of the number of times that he’s had to go back to the trailer park to change his uniform.  On the other hand, it is probably a realistic portrayal of how most people view their jobs.  Ponch does enough to get by.

As for the episode itself, this was another “day-in-the-life” style episode.  So far, the first season of CHiPs has been dominated by rather loose plotting.  Ponch and Baker just ride and see what type of trouble they can find on the highways.  As for the bowling subplot, Baker turns out to be a surprisingly competent bowler and Ponch plots to win a lot of money from his fellow officers.  But then Baker sprains his bowling fingers and it looks like Ponch is once again out of a small fortune.  Poor Ponch, he is fortune’s fool!

(I actually have gone bowling a few times.  I’m not any good at it but I’ve been told that the important thing is to jump up and down regardless of what happens.)

This Hustle, I would give a solid B.  The scenery was nice.  There was an exciting motorcycle chase at the start of the show.  The episode was a pleasant-enough diversion, albeit not one that leaves a huge impression afterwards.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.8 “Green Thumb Burglar”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This is such a weird episode.

Episode 1.8 “Green Thumb Burglar”

(Dir by Christian I. Nyby II, originally aired on November 10th, 1977)

This week’s episode is an odd one, largely because it all hinges on the usually uptight Sgt. Getraer suddenly revealing himself to be a fanatic about plants.

When Ponch and Baker roll up to headquarters while on their motorcycles, Getraer is so busy talking to some potted plants that he has set up outside the station that he almost forgets to yell at Ponch.  Getraer is really into taking care of plants and he’s not happy to learn that there is a criminal gang lurking on the highways and stealing plants.  Getraer says that he’s upset because of how much taxpayer money is being wasted due to the thievery but it’s pretty obvious that Getraer is actually taking the robberies personally as a plant lover.

Baker suggests that maybe the plants are being stolen by people who are disguised as city employees.  To me, that seems like a pretty obvious possibility but both Ponch and Getraer are amazed by Baker’s suggestion.  Crooks disguising themselves so that they can commit a crime without anyone calling the police on them?  Seriously, who would have guessed!?  Both Ponch and Getraer are so impressed that they each initially take credit for Baker’s idea.  Baker is quick to let everyone know that he’s the one that figured out the extremely obvious way that the criminals were operating.

And have no fear!  The Green Thumb Bandits are caught by the end of the show.  In fact, they are captured as soon as Baker comes up with his extremely obvious idea.  As is typical of CHiPs, the episode focuses on the cops pursuing the crooks and, as a result, we don’t really learn much about the crooks.  Personally, I would like to know how they came up with the ideas to steal plants.

This is a weird episode, even beyond Getraer’s obsession with plants.  At one point, Ponch and Baker pull over a guy wearing a fuzzy, yellow monster costume.  “It’s PuffnStuff!” Ponch exclaims.  A quick Google search revealed to me that PuffnStuff was apparently a children’s show character in the 70s.  Ponch is really excited to see him but I have to wonder if the actor who played PuffnStuff would actually wear the costume while driving.  PuffnStuff does say that he’s heading to a photo shoot but still, why not put the costume on when he arrives?

(Baker, for his part, does not own a TV and has no idea who PuffnStuff is.)

Finally, Ponch and Baker pull over two middle-aged twins for running a stop sign.  The twins explain that they are the world-famous Tidwell Twins and that they can see the future.  After Ponch laughs at their claim, one of the twins explains that Ponch will have four bad things happen to him.  One will involve a sharp object.  One will involve an authority figure.  One will involve a fire.  (Agck!)  One will involve a romantic disaster.  By the end of the episode, Ponch will have cut his hand on a can of beans, gotten yelled at by Getraer, gotten covered in fire-extinguishing foam, and dumped by his latest girlfriend.  Ponch has the worst luck but at least he got to meet PuffnStuff!

This was a weird episode.  As always, the California scenery was nice to look at and the motorcycles were cool.  But the plot was just all over the place.  At least Robert Pine got to do something other than just yell at Ponch.  He seems to be having fun portraying Getraer’s plant-obsessed gentle side.

Next week …. Ponch takes up bowling?  That’s what the plot description says.  Maybe meeting PuffnStuff inspired Ponch to follow his bowling dreams.  We’ll find out soon!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.7 “Taking Its Toll”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Jon Baker gives up a dream.

Episode 1.7 “Taking Its Toll”

(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on November 3rd, 1977)

Inspired by his hero Joseph Wambaugh, Jon Baker is writing a book.  It’s a novel all about the crazy things that he has seen as a member of the California Highway Patrol.  Ponch is one of the main characters.  Of course, Baker is mostly focusing on all of the times that Ponch has screwed up.  On his writer’s board, Baker has cards that read, “Ponch Falls In Glue,” “Ponch Loses His Bike,” and “Ponch Rips His Pants.”  Ponch, when he discovers what Jon is doing, isn’t necessarily happy about being held up to ridicule but then Baker promises to portray Ponch as a hero, a modern-day Roman centurion who rides his bike like a horse into battle.

This episode provides Baker with plenty of material.  Two blonde surfer dudes are robbing people who are stopped at toll booths and then making their escape in stolen sports cars.  As well, a man crashes his car and, when the highway patrol investigates, they discover a bomb in the back seat!  The bomb squad is called but what about the innocent motorcyclist who is trapped underneath the car?  If the bomb blows up, not only will the motorcyclist be killed but so will Ponch, the officer who is trying to keep him calm.  (Don’t worry, the bomb doesn’t blow up.)  As well, when a truck carrying a bunch of onions has an accident, it leads to onions all over the road!  Ponch, Baker, Bear, and even Gatraer end up shedding some tears while directing traffic.

It sounds like it will make a great book but, unfortunately, Baker discovers that, as a cop, he’s not really allowed to freely write a book about his experiences.  Instead, he has to clear everything with the legal department and then ask permission before even trying to get the book published.  (As Gatraer explains it, the California Highway Patrol has to protect its image.)  To Ponch’s disappointment, Baker abandons the book and throws away his plot cards.  Fear not, though!  Ponch says he’s going to write his own book and even commandeers Baker’s typewriter to do so.

(Yes, a typewriter.  Seriously, I can’t imagine writing anything without having the ability to just highlight a paragraph and delete the entire thing without the click of a button.)

This was one of those day-in-the-life episodes that didn’t really add up to much.  Interestingly enough, the emphasis was often less on Baker and Ponch and more on the idea of the entire California police force — from the Highway Patrol to the Sheriff’s Department to the Bomb Squad — all working together to keep people safe.  The best part of the episode came early on with an exciting chase between Baker and the toll thieves.  For the most part, though, this episode just left me thinking about how an episode that featured Baker writing a book somehow still managed to largely focus on Ponch.  Watching this episode, I could understand why Larry Wilcox was reportedly not always happy with the direction of the show.  Even when its about Baker, CHiPs is still largely the Ponch Show.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.6 “Baby Food”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, Ponch continues to screw up even the simplest of tasks!

Episode 1.6 “Baby Food”

(Dir by Paul Krasny, originally aired on October 27th, 1977)

This week’s episode of CHiPs is yet another story about how Frank “Ponch” Poncharello is terrible at his job.

While riding down the highway, Ponch and Baker find themselves stuck behind a truck that is transporting several boxes of baby food.  Suddenly, the truck’s backdoor slides open and the boxes start to fall onto the highway.  Baker is able to easily dodge the boxes, pull up to the side of the truck, and motion for the driver to pull over.  Ponch, on the other hand, is nearly killed because he comes close to hitting every box that falls out in front of him.  I mean, the boxes are not that big.  I’ve never even driven a motorcycle and I could probably do a better job of avoiding them than Ponch did.

Once the driver of the truck has stopped and the boxes are being reloaded, Ponch and Baker head on their way.  They are heading to headquarters, where they are supposed to be waiting for a call from the courthouse to let them know if they need to come down and testify in a case.  Still, Baker finds the time to pull over and ask two hippies if they need any help changing a flat tire on their school bus.  Baker is perfect and Ponch …. well, Ponch is not.

At headquarters, Ponch hits on the dispatchers, commandeers a meeting room so he can watch his favorite soap opera, and is basically so obnoxious that Getraer kicks both Ponch and Baker out.  After taking some time to rescue a man and his dog from a car that’s caught on fire, Ponch and Baker head over to the trailer park that Ponch calls home.  Ponch wants to change his uniform (which got covered in soot as a result of the fire) and Baker wants to see Ponch’s beautiful new neighbor.  Despite being under orders to remain easily contactable, Ponch accidentally knocks his phone off the hook.

That’s not good because Gatraer actually needs to talk to Ponch.  It turns out that the baby food that fell off the truck is infected with botulism and two of the boxes are missing!  Gatraer has to leave his office and ride his bike all the way to Ponch’s trailer park to let Ponch — who is now wearing a “Keep on Trucking” t-shirt — know about the contaminated baby food.  Gatraer asks Ponch and Baker if they saw anyone scavenging at the scene.  It takes Baker a while to remember the school bus but at least he did remember!  Ponch apparently only has a five-minute attention span.

The hippies are eventually tracked down and their baby is rushed to the hospital, where he recovers.  While Gatraer congratulates Ponch and Baker on finding the contaminated food, he does tell them that they need to stop getting personal calls at the office.  It turns out that Melinda, the trailer park girl that Ponch likes, has been calling HQ and asking to speak to Baker.  Obviously, Melinda knows who has career potential and who is one mistake away from getting evicted from his mobile home.

This episode was enjoyable because it’s always fun to watch people get mad at Ponch.  Larry Wilcox reveals some unexpected comedic abilities in this episode.  (Just look at his face when he realizes Ponch is using a conference room to watch his favorite soap opera.)  I also liked how clean and friendly the trailer park was.  CHiPs originally aired quite a bit before my time but I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the show led to be people moving to California.  I mean, even the trailer parks are nice to look at!