Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back, Kotter 1.9 “Mr. Kotter, Teacher” and 1.10 “The Reunion”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Mr. Kotter fights for his job and, even worse, has to have to dinner with two old acquaintances from his high school days.

Episode 1.9 “Mr. Kotter, Teacher”

(Directed by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on November 4, 1975)

Gabe tells Julie a joke about two men who were both named Bernstein.  The punchline is, “You don’t want me, you want Bernstein the Spy on the second floor!”

At school, Gabe has got a problem!  When Woodman step into the room to observe Kotter’s teaching style, he’s stunned to discover that Kotter and the Sweathogs are sitting in a circle on the floor and that they’re talking about their future ambitions.  Freddie says he wants to own the world’s tallest building and call it the Boom Boom Building.  Barbarino says that he wants to be an actor like Marlon Brando and then he and Epstein act out a scene from The Godfather.  (Incidentally, John Travolta does a pretty good Brando.)  Gabe is amused but Woodman is not.  Woodman demands that Kotter teach from the textbook.  Kotter points out that the textbook is out-of-date and there’s nothing in it to which the Sweathogs can relate.  Woodman promptly suspends Gabe and orders him to attend a disciplinary hearing.

This episode suffers from a bit of early installment weirdness and it wouldn’t surprise me if it was originally meant to air earlier in the season.  For instance, Woodman is a lot meaner than usual.  Over the past eight episodes, Woodman has often gotten frustrated and annoyed with Kotter but there’s also been a grudging respect between the two.  That Woodman would be shocked by Kotter’s teaching methods and would try to get Kotter fired as a result doesn’t really fit in with what we’ve previously seen of Woodman.  In fact, when Woodman previously taught Gabe’s class, he revealed himself to be a good teacher who was willing to engage with the students on their level.  Previously, Woodman has been grumpy and eccentric but he’s never really been malicious.

As well, in this episode, Kotter’s suddenly gets a best friend named Charlie Piper (Arnold Soboloff).  Charlie is a science teacher who drinks alcohol from a beaker.  He attends Gabe’s disciplinary hearing as a character witness and, at one point, mentions that he’s known Gabe ever since the school year began …. four week ago.  Again, it’s hard to believe that the previous eight episodes all occurred over the span of just a month.

Fortunately, the Sweathogs sneak into the disciplinary hearing.  Eptein and Washington pretend to be window cleaners.  Horshack pretends to be a janitor.  Vinnie shows up dressed as a cleaning woman.  They all testify that Gabe is the best teacher that they’ve ever had.  The arbiter of the case, Ms. Riley (Hope Summers), is moved by their testimony and Gabe keeps his job, though he is told to start using the text book.  Gabe responds by putting the book on his head and teaching the Sweathogs about good posture.

Back at his apartment, Gabe tells Julie a joke about his grandmother and a cursed ring.

This episode wasn’t bad, it just felt out of place.  I appreciated Gabe’s defense of his students, in which he argued that they weren’t dumb but that they just needed a teacher willing to speak to them about their lives as opposed to someone just requiring them to memorize facts and figures.  But, as I said before, Woodman is a lot more effective as a half-crazed eccentric than as a flat-out villain.  Again, we’ll just describe this episode as being the result of early installment weirdness.

Episode 1.10 “The Reunion”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on November 18th, 1975)

Gabe asks Julie if he ever told her about the time that his Aunt Lucille took driving lessons.  “No,” Julie says, “but I think I’m going to hear about it.”  Not noticing that Julie doesn’t sound particularly enthused about hearing about any of this, Gabe explains that his Aunt Lucille had no idea how to signal when she was making a turn.  Julie gives him a pity laugh.

Despite all the jokes, Gabe is not in a good mood.  Two of his high school acquaintances, Lyle (Michael Taylor) and Mary Frances (Bridget Hanley), have invited themselves over for dinner.  Not only does Gabe resent the fact that Lyle and Mary Francis always seemed to be “perfect” in high school but Julie is also planning on cooking her tuna casserole!  In fact, Gabe seems to be more upset about the tuna casserole than about having to spend a night entertaining Lyle and Marcy Francis.

Naturally, after Gabe complains about the reunion during his social studies class, the Sweathogs put on their best suits and show up on Gabe’s fire escape while he’s entertaining Lyle and Mary Francis.  The Sweathogs even bring food because they somehow know how terrible Julie’s tuna casserole is.  Gabe confesses that he may not be as rich or as perfect as Lyle and Mary Francis but he’s happy because he’s getting to teach a great group of kids.  Lyle explains that he was always jealous of Gabe because Gabe got to have fun as a Sweathog while Lyle always had to be “perfect.”  Gabe learns that it was silly for him to be insecure and Lyle learns that there is more to life than just being fabulously wealthy.  Awwwwwww!

Later, Gabe tells Julie a joke about an Italian man singing opera while barbecuing.  The meat gets set on fire.

This episode wasn’t bad.  It was interesting to see Gabe revealing that he’s not always happy about being an underpaid teacher who is probably never going to be able to afford a big apartment and it was also kind of touching to see how much both Gabe and his students cared about each other.  Still, you do have to wonder why Julie keeps making the tuna casserole since literally no one in New York City is willing to eat it.

Next week: Vinnie gets a tutor!

Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back, Kotter 1.7 “Classroom Marriage” and 1.8 “One Of Our Sweathogs Is Missing”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Freddie wants to get married and Epstein loses his confidence.

Episode 1.7 “Classroom Marriage”

(Dir by Bob LoHendro, originally aired on October 21st, 1975)

In their cluttered little apartment, Julie is shocked to discover that Gabe is not only awake at midnight but that he’s also sitting out on the fire escape with a basketball.  Gabe explains that he’s depressed.  He knows that there’s something going on with the Sweathogs but none of them trust him enough to come to him.  In a perfect example of “Be careful what you wish for,” the phone rings.

Julie answers the phone and tells Gabe, “It’s Boom Boom.”

“Boom Boom who?” Gabe replies.

Of course, it’s Freddie “Boom Boom” Washington.  Freddie says that he and his girlfriend need Gabe’s advice and that they’re on their way over.  No sooner has the call ended then someone knocks on the door.  Julie answers it and Vinnie, wearing a trench coat, rushes into the apartment.

After explaining that he can’t afford to be seen talking to a teacher, Vinnie explains that Freddie is planning on getting married.  Suddenly, someone else knocks on the door.  Vinnie hides in the bathroom.

Rosalie Tosty (Debralee Scott) enters the apartment, wearing a trench coat because she doesn’t want anyone to see her talking to a teacher.  She explains that Freddie is getting married.  Someone knocks on the door.  Rosalie says she’ll hide in the bathroom.

“Vinnie’s in there!” Julie says.

Rosalie smiles and says that’s fine before joining him.

Kotter opens the door and Epstein, wearing a trench coat and a fake mouth on the back of his head, enters the apartment.  Epstein says that Freddie is getting married and Vinnie is driving everyone crazy with his attempts to talk Freddie out of it.  Someone knocks on the door.  Epstein hides in a closet.

Again, Kotter opens the door.  Horseshack enters, wearing a gorilla mask.  He explains that he’s fine with Freddie getting married because he thinks it’s very romantic.  Someone knocks on the door.  Horseshack ducks out the window and hides on the fire escape.

Once again, the door is opened.  Freddie enters, accompanied by his girlfriend Vernajean (Vernee Watson).  Freddie explains that they’re getting married because Vernajean’s father is moving to Staten Island and Freddie can’t stand the thought of her living in a different borough.  Gabe attempts to talk them out of getting married by talking about how difficult it would be for them to even find someone in New York City to marry them.  “I mean,” Gabe says, “you could lie about your age and go to Maryland but….”

Freddie smiles.  “We could lie about our age and go to Maryland!”  Freddie thanks Gabe for the advice and then leaves.

This whole sequence is an example of the first season of Welcome Back, Kotter at its best.  Yes, it’s very busy and frantic but the entire cast shows off perfect comedic timing, from John Travolta and Debralee Scott to Robert Hegyes and Ron Palillo.  Robert Hegyes is especially funny as he captures Epstein’s mix of earnest eccentricity.  And, to top it all off, the expression of Gabe’s face when he realizes that he’s accidentally convinced Freddie to get married is simply priceless.

Fear not.  The next day in class, Gabe has Freddie and Vernajean do an exercise where they pretend to be married.  They’re able to handle having Horseshack as their son but the pretend marriage pretty much falls apart as soon as Gabe shows up and demands that they pay him the rent.  In the end, Freddie admits that he only asked Vernajean to marry him because he was afraid that she would forget about him after she moved to Staten Island.  Vernajean assures him that could never happen.  Awwwwww!

This was a sweet and funny episode.  When Gabe ended the episode with a corny joke about his astronaut uncle, Buzz Kotter, you couldn’t help but feel that Gabe had earned the right to make his little joke.  He did a good job.

Episode 1.8 “One Of Our Sweathogs Is Missing”

(Dir by Bob LoHendro, originally aired on October 28th, 1975)

Gabe tells Julie a rather macabre joke about his uncle who is marrying his fourth wife.  Julie asks about the other three wives.  Gabe explains that the first and second wives died from eating poisoned mushrooms and the third died from a fractured skull “because she wouldn’t eat the poisoned mushrooms.”  Yikes!  It’s hard not to feel that Gabe was warning Julie about rolling her eyes at any more of his jokes.

Meanwhile, at the school, the Sweathogs are excited when Todd Ludlow (Dennis Bowen) challenges Epstein to a fight.  However, they are shocked when Epstein — voted most likely to take a life — is easily beaten by Ludlow.  After Vinnie, Freddie, and Horseshack have a good laugh over Epstein and his black eye, Epstein runs off and disappears for three days.

Feeling guilty, Barbarino sets up Epstein Central in the classroom:

Mr. Woodman comes by, searching for his red phone.  When the phone rings, Woodman insists on answer it himself.

It turns out that Julie is calling for Gabe, in order to tell him that Epstein has shown up at their apartment and locked himself in the bathroom.  While Gabe heads home, Julie asks Epstein if he wants anything to drink.  Epstein replies that he’s not worthy of anything good to drink but he would happily accept a flat and warm beverage.

Fortunately, Gabe shows up.  Epstein agrees to come out of the bathroom as long as Gabe promises not to look at him.  While Gabe stares at the lamp, Epstein explains that he only came by the apartment to say goodbye.  He feels that his fearsome reputation was the only thing that Epstein had going for him.  (Awwwww!  Poor Epstein!)  Gabe finally looks away from the lamp and tells Epstein that he’s a smart and energetic young man with a lot of potential.  Seriously, this scene was so achingly sincere and well-acted by Gabe Kaplan and Robert Hegyes that it was impossible not to be touched by it.

Anyway, it all works out in the end.  The other Sweathogs show up on Gabe’s fire escape and they declare their friendship for Epstein.  Epstein agrees not to run away.  He calls home and tells his mother that he’s okay.  His mother tells him to have dinner with the Kotters because his family has already eaten that day.  The audience laughs but that’s actually one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard.

With everything resolved, Gabe tells Julie a story about his Uncle Bernie, who never took a bath.

Like the one that preceded it, this was a funny and surprisingly sweet episode.  Welcome Back, Kotter is turning out to be a lot better than I was expecting.

Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back, Kotter 1.1 “The Great Debate” and 1.2 “Basket Case”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

Well, I don’t have anyone but myself to blame.

Ever since I started doing these retro television reviews, people have been suggesting that I should review an old 70s sitcom called Welcome Back, Kotter.  I only knew a few things about Welcome Back, Kotter.  I knew that it was the show that made John Travolta a star.  I knew that it was Marcia’s favorite show on The Brady Bunch Hour.  I knew that Gabe Kaplan played Gabe Kotter, a teacher who returned to his old Brooklyn neighborhood to teach a bunch of students known as the “Sweathogs.”  (Bleh!  What an unappealing nickname.)  It didn’t sound like something I wanted to watch but, being the polite person that I am, I always said, “If it’s ever streaming somewhere, I will.”  The unspoken assumption, of course, was that the show would never be streaming anywhere.

Then, one day, I looked at Tubi and….

Again, I have no one to blame but myself.

As for the show, it was based on the stand-up routines of its star, Gabe Kaplan.  It followed former Sweathog Gabe Kotter (played, of course, by Kaplan) as he tried to teach a new generation of Sweathogs at James Buchanan High in Brooklyn.  Gabe was married to Julie (Marica Strassman).  They lived in a small Brooklyn apartment and Gabe was constantly forcing his wife to listen to corny jokes about his family.  At the school, Gabe’s principal was Mr. Woodman (John Sylvester White), a former history teacher who disliked the Sweathogs.

As for the Sweathogs themselves, there were several but only four were really important.

Vinnie Barbarino (John Travolta) was the handsome but dumb one.

Freddie Washington (Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs) was the cool basketball player who would often say, “Hi, there” in a very deep voice.

Juan Epstein (Robert Hegyes) was the one most likely to kill someone.

Arnold Horseshack (Ron Pallilo) was the nerdy one with the high-pitched voice.  In Kaplan’s original stand-up routine, his nickname was Arnold Horseshit but I doubt that was ever mentioned on the show.

And, of course, there was the theme song.  Welcome Back, Kotter was written and performed by John Sebastian, whose previous claim to fame was appearing on the stage at Woodstock while stoned out of his mind.

Okay, let’s do this thing.

Episode 1.1 “The Great Debate”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on September 9th, 1975)

The very first episode of Welcome Back, Kotter opens with teacher Gabe Kotter (Gabe Kaplan) making out with his wife, Julie (Marcia Strassman), on the couch in their little Brooklyn apartment.  Kotter suddenly stops kissing his wife so that he can tell her a joke about the time his uncle slept in the same bed as his secretary and told her that if she wanted to be “Mrs. Kotter for the night,” then she should get out of bed and close the bedroom window herself.  Julie laughs.  Personally, if my romantic partner stopped kissing me specifically so he could tell an adultery joke, I don’t know if I would laugh.  I’d probably be more like, “What are you trying to tell me with that?”

Fortunately, the theme song starts up and rescues the audience from that awkward moment.

The next day, Gabe goes to work at James Buchanan High School.  He teaches the remedial class, which is populated by underachieving students who have been nicknamed “the Sweathogs.”  Gabe discovers that the Sweathogs have painted a rather garish mural on the wall of the classroom.

Vinne Barbarino (John Travolta) gets up and explains what the mural’s about.

Gabe is impressed by the fact that young John Travolta is a hundred times better looking and charismatic than anyone else in the school.  But Gabe still insists that the Sweathogs wash off the mural.  The Sweathogs agree, before revealing that they also painted the top of Gabe’s desk.

In the teacher’s lounge, Alex (James Woods) makes fun of Gabe’s stupid students.  Gabe make fun of Alex for writing plays with names like “Fiddler On My Sister.”  Alex says that his debate class can defeat Gabe’s class.  Gabe accepts the challenge and….

Wait a minute!  JAMES WOODS!?

Yes, that is indeed a youngish James Woods playing Alex, the school’s pretentious drama teacher.  Woods is okay in the role.  There’s not a whole lot to be done with the character as he’s pretty much just an uptight strawman who is there to be humiliated by Kotter and his class.

As for the debate itself, the resolution is that “Humans are naturally aggressive.”  Alex’s class argues in the negative while Kotter’s class argues in the positive.  Alex’s class is uptight and wears sweaters.  The Sweathogs show up in garish costumes.  With the help of Epstein (Robert Hegyes), Barbarino argues that Jack the Ripper and Atilla the Hun prove that people are naturally aggressive.  When Mr, Woodman (John Sylvester White), who is moderating the debate, says that they need a timekeeper, Sweathog Arnold Horschack (Ron Pallilo) enthusiastically volunteers.

“Can he tell time, Mr. Kotter?” a flustered Woodman asks and I’ll admit that I did laugh.  John Sylvester White delivered the line perfectly.

Sweathog Freddie Washington (Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs) then makes his case but, because his only experience with public speaking is in church, he gives a sermon.  “He isn’t following the rules!” one of Alex’s students shouts.

While Alex’s star debater makes his case, the Sweathogs heckle him so aggressively that the student has a nervous breakdown and starts screaming, “SHUT UP!” at them.  As Kotter points out, this proves that humans are naturally aggressive.  Woodman announces that “This debate is called on account of dumbness.”

Back at the apartment, Gabe tells Julie a joke about Larry and his pet toad.

I have to admit that I enjoyed this episode quite a bit more than I was expecting to.  Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, John Travolta, Ron Pallilo, and Robert Hegyes had a lot of comedic chemistry as the main Sweathogs and Gabe Kaplan did a good job of projecting a much needed sincerity in the role of Mr. Kotter.  He seemed to truly care about his students.  This was definitely a good episode to start the series off with.

Episode 1.2 “Basket Case”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on September 16th, 1975)

At the apartment, Gabe tells Julie a joke about how his childhood bully beat up his father.

At school, it’s time for the Sweathogs to take a history exam.  Barbarino has all the answers written on his arm but, fortunately, Gabe shows up with water and a paper towel.  Horseshack tries to distribute the tests in another classroom but Gabe stops him.  Epstein shows up with a note excusing him from the exam because of his bursitis but Gabe tosses the note away as soon as he notices that it is signed “Epstein’s Mother.”  Freddie, meanwhile, doesn’t think that grades matter because he’s made the basketball team.  In fact, he draws a picture of himself as “Stilt Man” on his test paper.

When Gabe fails Freddy, the basketball coach and Mr. Woodman ask him to reconsider.  The Sweathogs ask him to reconsider.  And Freddie tells Kotter that he’s not going to take a makeup exam.  Kotter challenges Freddie to a basketball game.  If Freddie win, he passes.  If Kotter, who was basketball star in high school, wins, Freddie retakes the test.  Freddie agrees and….

Well, it turns out that a game between a middle-aged, out-of-shape teacher and a high school star athlete goes about as well as you might expect.  We don’t see the game but we do see Mr. Woodman and the basketball coach carrying a delirious Kotter into the teacher’s lounge.  Freddie apparently destroyed Kotter on the court but he’s so impressed by Kotter’s determination that he agrees to retake the test anyway.

Back at the apartment, Kotter tells Julie a joke about why he never wears hats.  Apparently, he felt his head was too big.  Poor guy.

Again, this was not a bad episode.  I was worried that Kotter would somehow beat Freddie at basketball while the audience went wild but, instead, the episode got laughs by being honest.  There was no way Gabe was going to win that game.  Interestingly enough, this episode was as much about Gabe dealing with the fact that he was getting older than it was about getting Freddie to take his grades seriously.  Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs was particularly strong in this episode.  It may have been a comedy but Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs played it like a drama and, as a result, the stakes felt real.

So, the first two episodes of Welcome Back Kotter took me by surprise.  Will the rest of the show be this good?  We’ll find out over the weeks to come!