Guilty Pleasure No. 84: Last Action Hero (dir by John McTiernan)


Oh, Last Action Hero.

Ever since this film was first released in 1993, it’s usually held up as an example of a Hollywood fiasco.  The script was originally written to be a modest satire of action films.  The screenwriters wrote the character of Jack Slater, an movie action hero who comes into the real world, for Dolph Lundgren.  Instead, the film became an Arnold Schwarzenegger extravaganza and the studio ended up tossing a ton of money at it.  When the film was originally released, the reviews were mixed and the box office was considered to be disappointing.  (That it went up against the first Jurassic Park was definitely an underrated issue when it came to the box office.)  Ever since then, The Last Action Hero has had a reputation for being a bad film.

Well, I don’t care.  I like The Last Action Hero.  Yes, it’s a bit overproduced for a comedy.  (It breaks my own rule about how no comedy should run longer than two hours.)  Yes, it gets a bit sentimental with ten year-old Danny Madigan (Austin O’Brien) using a magic, golden ticket to enter the film world of his hero, Jack Slater.  If you want to argue that the film should have devoted more time to and gone a bit deeper into contrasting the film world with the real world, I won’t disagree with you.  But I will also say that Sylvester Stallone starring as The Terminator in Jack’s world was actually a pretty funny sight gag.  Danny knowing better than to trust a character played by F. Murray Abraham made me laugh.  Danny’s fantasy in which Arnold Schwarzenegger played Hamlet was made all the better by the fact that his teacher was played by Laurence Olivier’s wife, Joan Plowright.   Danny DeVito as Whiskers the Cartoon Cat makes me laugh as well, even if it is perhaps a bit too bizarre of a joke for this particular film.  (There’s nothing else about the Jack Slater films that would explain the presence of a cartoon cat.)

When you set aside the idea of the Last Action Hero being a symbol of Hollywood bloat and just watch it as a film, it emerges as an enjoyably goofy action movie, one that captures the joy of watching movies (because who hasn’t wanted to enter a movie’s world at some point in their life), and also one that features a rather charming performance from Arnold Schwarzenegger.  (Schwarzenegger, I should add, plays both himself and Jack Slater.  One of my favorite jokes is when the real Schwarzenegger is at a premiere and he mistakes the evil Ripper for Tom Noonan, the actor who played him in the previous Jack Slater film.)  Yeah, the golden ticket is a little bit hokey but who cares?  Underneath all of the special effects and action and money spent on star salaries, Last Action Hero is an action movie and comedy with a heart.  Danny meets his hero but also gets to become a hero himself.  And Jack Slater turns out to be everything you would hope your movie hero would be.  In the end, it’s obvious that a lot of the criticism of this film has more to do with the appeal of riding the bandwagon as opposed to what actually happens on screen.

Last Action Hero is a movie that I’ll happily defend.

Previous Guilty Pleasures

  1. Half-Baked
  2. Save The Last Dance
  3. Every Rose Has Its Thorns
  4. The Jeremy Kyle Show
  5. Invasion USA
  6. The Golden Child
  7. Final Destination 2
  8. Paparazzi
  9. The Principal
  10. The Substitute
  11. Terror In The Family
  12. Pandorum
  13. Lambada
  14. Fear
  15. Cocktail
  16. Keep Off The Grass
  17. Girls, Girls, Girls
  18. Class
  19. Tart
  20. King Kong vs. Godzilla
  21. Hawk the Slayer
  22. Battle Beyond the Stars
  23. Meridian
  24. Walk of Shame
  25. From Justin To Kelly
  26. Project Greenlight
  27. Sex Decoy: Love Stings
  28. Swimfan
  29. On the Line
  30. Wolfen
  31. Hail Caesar!
  32. It’s So Cold In The D
  33. In the Mix
  34. Healed By Grace
  35. Valley of the Dolls
  36. The Legend of Billie Jean
  37. Death Wish
  38. Shipping Wars
  39. Ghost Whisperer
  40. Parking Wars
  41. The Dead Are After Me
  42. Harper’s Island
  43. The Resurrection of Gavin Stone
  44. Paranormal State
  45. Utopia
  46. Bar Rescue
  47. The Powers of Matthew Star
  48. Spiker
  49. Heavenly Bodies
  50. Maid in Manhattan
  51. Rage and Honor
  52. Saved By The Bell 3. 21 “No Hope With Dope”
  53. Happy Gilmore
  54. Solarbabies
  55. The Dawn of Correction
  56. Once You Understand
  57. The Voyeurs 
  58. Robot Jox
  59. Teen Wolf
  60. The Running Man
  61. Double Dragon
  62. Backtrack
  63. Julie and Jack
  64. Karate Warrior
  65. Invaders From Mars
  66. Cloverfield
  67. Aerobicide 
  68. Blood Harvest
  69. Shocking Dark
  70. Face The Truth
  71. Submerged
  72. The Canyons
  73. Days of Thunder
  74. Van Helsing
  75. The Night Comes for Us
  76. Code of Silence
  77. Captain Ron
  78. Armageddon
  79. Kate’s Secret
  80. Point Break
  81. The Replacements
  82. The Shadow
  83. Meteor

The Eric Roberts Collection: Devil’s Knight (dir by Adam Werth)


2024’s Devil’s Knight opens in the kingdom of Veroka.  A group of thieves all discuss what they’ve stolen over the course of the day.  The leader of the thieves is named Orwell.  Another thief — played by Daniel Baldwin — is named Camus.  The group is joined by as stranger named Sigurd (John Wells), a man who has only one eye.  He tells them the story of how he and his friends — The Lost Blades — were hired to vanquish the fearsome Bone Devil….

Yep, it’s one of those type of movies.  There’s a lot of sword fights.  There’s a lot of monsters.  There’s a hint of sorcery, though not as much as you might expect from a movie like this.  The thieves are named after philosophers.  The huge cast is full of streaming stars and a handful of actors who are known for appearing in just about anything.  Kevin Sorbo plays Baldur, the noble head of the king’s guards.  Angie Everhart plays the Duchess who speaks French despite living in a mythical kingdom.  Eric Roberts shows up as Lord Sussex.  He only onscreen for a few minutes, though he does get a few funny lines.  Sadly, Roberts doesn’t even get to fight a monster.  At least Sorbo gets a big battle scene.

Here’s the thing, though.  Taken on its own terms, Devil’s Knight is a lot of fun.  You can tell it was made by people who have a genuine love for the sword and sorcery genre and there’s enough intentional humor to keep things interesting.  With the exception of some blood splatter, there’s also a definite lack of CGI.  The monsters are played by actual actors wearing costumes and under makeup and it’s surprisingly effective.  The film’s plot is not always easy to follow.  In the tradition of many medeival legends, the film’s story really is just one random incident after another, the majority of which lead to a fight and at least a few deaths.  The cast is huge but few of the characters are still alive by the end of the movie.  Monsters aren’t something to mess with and I actually appreciated that the film was willing to even kill off the characters who usually survive a film like this.  It really did create the feeling that anyone could die if they ran into a monster in a hallway.  (Even the stereotypical princess-who-wants-to-be-a-warrior character was taken in a surprising direction.)  The film moves quickly with a lot of energy and enthusiasm.  I enjoyed it.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Star 80 (1983)
  2. Runaway Train (1985)
  3. Blood Red (1989)
  4. The Ambulance (1990)
  5. The Lost Capone (1990)
  6. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  7. Voyage (1993)
  8. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  9. Sensation (1994)
  10. Dark Angel (1996)
  11. Doctor Who (1996)
  12. Most Wanted (1997)
  13. Mercy Streets (2000)
  14. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
  15. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  16. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  17. Hey You (2006)
  18. Amazing Racer (2009)
  19. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  20. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  21. The Expendables (2010) 
  22. Sharktopus (2010)
  23. Beyond The Trophy (2012)
  24. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  25. Deadline (2012)
  26. The Mark (2012)
  27. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  28. Bonnie And Clyde: Justified (2013)
  29. Lovelace (2013)
  30. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  31. Self-Storage (2013)
  32. A Talking Cat!?! (2013)
  33. This Is Our Time (2013)
  34. Inherent Vice (2014)
  35. Road to the Open (2014)
  36. Rumors of War (2014)
  37. Amityville Death House (2015)
  38. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  39. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  40. Enemy Within (2016)
  41. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  42. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  43. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  44. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  45. Dark Image (2017)
  46. Black Wake (2018)
  47. Frank and Ava (2018)
  48. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  49. Clinton Island (2019)
  50. Monster Island (2019)
  51. The Reliant (2019)
  52. The Savant (2019)
  53. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  54. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  55. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  56. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  57. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  58. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  59. Top Gunner (2020)
  60. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  61. The Elevator (2021)
  62. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  63. Killer Advice (2021)
  64. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  65. The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)
  66. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  67. Bleach (2022)
  68. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  69. Aftermath (2024)
  70. The Wrong Life Coach (2024)
  71. When It Rains In L.A. (2025)

Film Review: Running Red (dir by Jerry P. Jacobs)


I have to admit that I feel a little bit cheated by the 1999 film, Running Red.

I figured that, with a name like Running Red, the film would be about a redhead who did a lot of running.  Since I am a redhead that does a lot of running, I figured that I would be able to relate to this film.  Unfortunately, while it’s true that the film does feature a redhead, she doesn’t get to do much running.  In fact, she doesn’t really get to do much of anything.  Katherine (Angie Everhart) is mostly just there to support her husband, except for those moments that she thinks he’s cheating on him because he’s lied to her about being a former mercenary.

Her husband, who is played by Jeff Speakman, goes by the name of Greg.  He’s got a beard and he sells real estate and he has to go on a lot of business trips.  However, before he grew the beard, Greg’s name was Grigori and he was apparently a Russian even though, even in the flashbacks that open the film, he never had a Russian accent.  Grigori was a part of some sort of weird Russian military unit but he grew disgusted with the ruthlessness of the unit’s leader, Alexi (Stanley Kamel).  After one particularly brutal mission, Grigori dropped his submachine gun to the ground.  In the movie, this is shown to us in slow motion so we know what that this isn’t just a standard shot of a soldier carelessly dropping a loaded weapon.  No, this shot is significant.  This is the …. SLO MO OF DISILLUSIONMENT!

Anyway, a few years pass and Grigori is now Greg and he’s married to Katherine and they have a daughter.  When two meth addicts steal Greg’s SUV (with his daughter in the backseat), Greg promptly steals an ambulance and chases them down.  Using his Russian combat training, Greg beats up the two men.  He thinks that no one has seen him but it just so happens that some old busy body was outside with a video camera.  Greg makes the news!

Unfortunately, the news report is seen by Alexi.  Alexi tracks Greg down and demands that Greg help him out with a few more missions.  Wishing to protect his family, Greg agrees.  He winds up not only lying to his wife about why he suddenly has to go to Detroit but he also misses her high school reunion!  (She even had her old cheerleading outfit cleaned for the special occasion.)  Greg really should know better than to lie to a redhead.  He also should have known better than to think Alexi was ever going to leave him alone.  Greg soon discovers that Alexi isn’t going to be satisfied with just a few missions.  In fact, Alexi wants Greg to assassinate a city councilman who either supports or opposed the construction of a stadium.  To be honest, I kind of had a hard time keeping straight how everyone felt about the stadium.

It may seem as if the filmmakers weren’t that concerned with coming up with a coherent plot and that’s because they weren’t.  The entire film has a make-it-up-as-you-along feel to it.  That makes the plot impossible to follow but it also leads to a few moments that are so over-the-top and weird that you can’t help but kind of love then.  At one point, Jeff Speakman steals a bus and uses it for a high-speed chase.  A little later, he ends up getting into multiple fights on a luxury yacht.  I’m not sure who he was fighting or why they were fighting but it really didn’t matter.  All that matters is that most of the fights were well-choreographed and the action was quick-paced and didn’t have too many slow spots.  Jeff Speakman was a professional martial artist.  Judging by this film, he couldn’t act worth a damn but he could throw a convincing punch and he looked good hitting people.  It’s best not to demand too much from a film like this.  After all, Running Red never said it was going to be anything other than a silly action movie.

That said, I’m a bit disappointed that Katherine didn’t get to do more because, as played by Angie Everhart, she had the potential to be an interesting character and, like me, she was lucky enough to be one of the 2% of the population that has naturally red hair.  That said, Running Red is both frequently dumb and often entertaining.  It delivers what the majority of viewers will be watching it for (i.e., mindless action) and there’s something to be said for a film that is at peace with what it is.

On a personal note (and yes, I’m aware that it’s kind of silly for me to say that when all of my reviews are, more or less, personal notes), I watched Running Red on YouTube as a part of this week’s #MondayActionMovie live tweet.  The version that I saw featured French opening credits and the first few minutes of dialogue were also in French before abruptly switching over to English.  I have to admit that I was a little disappointed when everyone suddenly started speaking English.  I was looking forward to tweeting along in French!  Oh well!

Worst of the Worst: Mad Dog Time (1996, directed by Larry Bishop)


Mad_dog_time_4841Remember how, in the 1990s, every aspiring indie director tried to rip off Quentin Tarantino by making a gangster film that mixed graphic violence with quirky dialogue, dark comedy, and obscure pop cultural references?  That led to a lot of terrible movies but not a single one (not even Amongst Friends) was as terrible as Mad Dog Time.

That Mad Dog Time was terrible should come as no surprise.  Most directorial debuts are.  What made Mad Dog Time unique was the sheer amount of talent that was assembled and wasted in the effort to bring this sorry movie to life.  As the son of Joey Bishop, director Larry Bishop was Hollywood royalty and was able to convince several ridiculously overqualified actors to play the thinly drawn gangsters and rouges who populated Mad Dog Time.  Much like the Rat Pack movies that his father once starred in, Larry Bishop’s debut film was full of familiar faces.  Some of them only appeared for a few seconds while others had larger roles but they were all wasted in the end.  Hopefully, everyone was served a good lunch in between filming their scenes because it is hard to see what else anyone could have gotten out of appearing in Mad Dog Time.

Mob boss Vic (Richard Dreyfuss) has just been released from a mental hospital.  With the help of his main enforcer, Mick (Jeff Goldblum), and a legendary hitman named Nick (Larry Bishop, giving not only the worst performance in the film but also the worst performance of the 1990s), Vic is going to reassert his control over the rackets.  Vic also wants to find his former mistress, Grace Everly (Diane Lane) but he doesn’t know that Grace is now with Mick and that Mick is also having an affair with Grace’s sister, Rita (Ellen Barkin).

(Grace and Rita are the Everly Sisters!  Ha ha, between that and all the rhyming names, are you laughing yet?)

Anka and Byrne

Ben London (Gabriel Byrne) has taken over Vic’s nightclub and, while singing My Way with Paul Anka, tells Vic that he should take an early retirement because he’s a paranoid schizophrenic.  Before he can deal with Ben, Vic has to kill all of his other rivals, all of whom are played by actors like Michael J. Pollard, Billy Idol, Kyle MacLachlan, Gregory Hines, and Burt Reynolds.  The bodies start to pile up but Jimmy the Undertaker (Richard Pryor, looking extremely frail in one of his final roles) is always around to make sure that everyone gets a proper burial.

And there are other cameos as well.  Joey Bishop is the owner of a mortuary.  Henry Silva is wasted as one the few gangsters to stay loyal to Vic.  Christopher Jones, who previously co-starred with Larry Bishop and Richard Pryor in Wild In The Streets before dropping out of a society, plays a hitman who pretends to be Nick Falco.  Even Rob Reiner shows up a limo driver who talks too much.

Almost every poorly paced scene in Mad Dog Time plays out the same way.  Three or more men confront each other in a room.  Hard-boiled dialogue is exchanged for an interminable length of time until someone finally gets shot.  You would think, at the very least, it would be watchable because of all the different people in the cast but none of the actors really seem to be into it.  Richard Dreyfuss and Jeff Goldblum resort to smirking through their scenes while Gabriel Byrne often appears to be drunk.  Whenever he’s in a scene, Burt Reynolds seems to be trying to hide his face and it is hard to blame him.  There were many terrible movies released in the 90s but none were as bad as Mad Dog Time.