The SPM Trilogy Revisited : “The Slumber Party Massacre”

Posted on February 19, 2013 by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

Ah, the folly of youth. When we’re young, we’re so determined to prove we can “make it on our own” that we’ll turn our backs on opportunities that might serve us better in the long run just because they would mean answering to “The Man” in the short term. A hot-shot young chef (a nauseating demographic which our nation is currently, and quite literally, under absolute fucking assault from) will bypass the chance to apprentice under a master of his craft in a popular and established kitchen in order to go start up his own restaurant that will be lucky to last out the year. A promising young journalist will eschew the opportunity to work as a “beat” reporter on a local paper in order to start up a “cutting edge” news website with “attitude” that folds when they can’t get any advertisers. A way-too-full-of-himself young lawyer will say “no thanks” to a “lesser” offer from a major, established firm in order to start his own personal injury practice before realizing that there are already 10,000 other guys in town doing the exact same thing. There’s no doubt about it, my friends — we don’t know jack shit when we’re young, but we know we know better than anybody else.

All of which is to say, I guess, a couple of things : one, that I’m older and wiser now and will gladly give up the “freedom” and “total control” I have over my own website in less than a goddamn heartbeat in order to go work for somebody who actually pays me to write this shit; and two, that back in 1982 a semi-recent USC film school grad named Amy Holden Jones, who was considered something of an up-and-comer behind the camera in Hollywood at the time, turned down the chance to be Steven Spielberg’s cinematographer on a little something called E.T. in order to direct a much littler something for Roger Corman called The Slumber Party Massacre.

I’m sure she’s not kicking herself too badly over that decision today.

Corman, of course, as he always seemed to, had an angle figured with this one, as well — in order to deflect, or at least try to deflect, some of the rampant feminist criticism that was just starting to be directed at the “slasher” genre back then, he’d take the largely (okay, entirely) symbolic step of hiring women to both direct (Jones) and script (Rita Mae Brown) his latest girls-take-off-their-shirts-and-get-butchered-for-being -“slutty” opus, therefore “proving” that he, himself, had no problem with the fairer sex —only his movies did.

To their credit, both Jones and Brown obviously knew full well what they were getting into here (hell, how could you not?) and decided to play the whole thing up for all it was worth by indulging in blatant self-parody at more or less every turn. Their escaped-from-the-loony-bin killer, one Russ Thorne (Michael Villella) is given essentially no motivation whatsoever and goes after his victims with the most overtly phallic power drill ever conceived of; he’s thrust into the middle of a high school all-girls’ basketball team slumber party (hence, ya know, the title) by the most contrived set of circumstances possible; and every one of the nubile young targets of his kill-spree is a paper-thin, less-than-two-dimensional cipher rather than being anything like an actual, proper character.

As far as any kind of plot synopsis goes, that’s probably all you really need here, if not more — after all, you know the drill (sorry!), right? The party’s hostess, Trish (Michelle Michaels), despite being listed first in the credits, isn’t gonna be the last girl standing (or limping, or writhing, or crawling), that honor goes to picked-on-for-being-aloof-quiet-and-too-much-better-at-basketball-than-the-others (she’s even a new girl at school, to boot! How many different ways can you say “virgin” without just blurting it out?) Valerie (Robin Stille). All the proceedings here follow the typical cut-and-dried formula more or less to a “T,” with a heavy dose of self-awareness being basically the only wrinkle added into the mix, apart from “keep your eyes open for an early turn by future ‘scream queen’ semi-star Brinke Stevens.”

None of which is to say that I didn’t enjoy The Slumber Party Massacre — the fact of the matter is, this one of those flicks that I always kinda turn to when I want to turn my brain off. It’s solid, if unspectacular, tongue-in-cheek fun, leaves a pleasant-enough grin on your face, and keeps you reasonably involved for its brief-but-just-right-all-things-considered 77-minute run time. If ol’ Russ was as smart and efficient at his job as Holden was at hers, he might still be running around sticking his power drill in high school girls today. And yeah, I realize that last sentence sounded every bit as unsubtle as this movie is, that was kinda the — errrmmm — point (damn! Just can’t help myself).

Being that this movie and its two sequels (part two being even more OTT farcical than this one, part three being something of a “back-to-basics” straight-to-video affair) have a semi-sizable cult following, Shout! Factory made the wise decision to release ’em all together in one collection on (two-disc) DVD and (single-disc) Blu-Ray. Since I’ll be going to the “effort” of reviewing ’em all here in the next few days, I’ll just take it one at a time with the technical specs and extras. The Slumber Party Massacre is presented in a 1.78:1 widescreen remastered transfer that looks pretty damn stunning, and the remastered mono sound is perfectly serviceable, as well. There’s a really good little “making-of” featurette included , a photo still and poster artwork gallery, and director Jones is on hand for a full-length commentary track. The original theatrical trailer, a smattering of trailers for other titles in the “Roger Corman’s Cult Classics” series, and a solid set of liner notes by Jason Paul Collum round out the package.

If you don’t have the time, money, or inclination to break new ground — and let’s face it, Roger Corman never had any of the above — you could do a lot worse than to tread the same ol’ familiar territory with a little bit of style, self-deprecating wit, and a quick little wink to the audience. The Slumber Party Massacre certainly delivers on each of those counts, and while I’ll never be fully on board with those who view this thing as some sort of “classic,” it’s definitely a good — if thoroughly predictable — time.

I’m older and wiser now, remember? I’m perfectly happy to take what I can get.

Tag It And Bag It : “Toe Tags”

Posted on February 16, 2013 by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

A few weeks back, Lisa Marie blamed/credited me for the fact that she even watched, let alone reviewed, director/star/editor/cinematographer Darla Enlow’s 2003 shot-on-video, direct-to-DVD 68-minute opus Toe Tags, so I’m returning the — ahem! — favor by blaming/crediting her for the fact that I’m gonna do the same thing (well, I say “gonna do” only as it applies to reviewing this flick, since I first watched it several months ago, then gave it a second look last night). See, I kinda think it would be amusing to make Through The Shattered Lens the only site on the entire internet with two different reviews of this movie. Granted, I haven’t checked every single website in the entire universe to make sure this claim holds water, but it’s a pretty safe bet, since I doubt that more than a few hundred people have even seen this thing — and most of them were probably either friends with, or related to, somebody who had something to do with its production.

Shot for around $30,000 in Tulsa, Oklahoma — where SOV slashers got their start with Blood Cult way back in 1985 — the “action” in this film centers around a series of murders at the supposedly high-end Valley Creek apartment complex, where the dynamic police duo of Detectives Mark Weiss (Marc Page) and Kate Wagner (Enlow) are investigating a grisly series of slayings, with a twist — every corpse that comes into the morgue by way of Valley Creek ends up with its titular toe tag going missing somewhere along the way.

One thing that really stands out here : the movie was quite obviously all shot in the same apartment complex, with one notable exception —- it’s evident that the landlady’s supposed “apartment” is actually an honest-to-God house and is located elsewhere. So that leaves us with a rather incongruous bit of easily-noticeable movie less-than-magic — while the “police station” where a good chunk of this story takes place is almost without question an office in an apartment complex, the supposed headquarters of the actual apartment complex is not in the apartment complex! Hey, when ya only got 30 grand ta play around with, ya do what ya can.

Enlow doesn’t have much eye for style or perspective when it comes to the camera work, but I do give her points for at least trying to do something more other than simple point-and-shoot stuff, even if her attempts are largely failures, and she’s definitely to be lauded for managing to convince a steady stream of generally pretty attractive women to drop their tops in front of her camera for probably little to no money, but beyond that Toe Tags doesn’t really stand out in any way, shape, or form. The script, by one John Overbey (about the only thing Enlow didn’t do herself when it comes to this flick is write it), takes a pretty straightforward story and messes it up by heaping a bunch of ex-love-interest drama on both of the cops (it turns out they had both been sleeping with separate victims of the killer previously — and Kate makes it clear to Mark that she’s fair game if he feels like taking a crack at her during their off-hours) and having some seriously unconventional, if not downright illegal, police procedural shit towards the end when the captain thinks he’s got the identity of the murderer sussed out, so be prepared to suspend your disbelief beyond its usual, already-stretched-thin levels for this one. As for the “twist” finale, well — you’ll not only see it coming a mile away, but it’s waving its arms in the air, wearing a helmet with a flashing light on it, and setting off road flares.

On the splatter front (hey, admit it, that’s pretty much what you’re watching a movie like this for, apart from the tits), Enlow and her shoestring crew do a pretty nice job with the gore EFX all told, and considering the whole thing runs barely over an hour, the body count is fairly impressive. My best guess is that most of the budget for this one was consumed in an effort to make the numerous murders look reasonably realistic, and by and large it pays off, so hey — credit where it’s due.

Toe Tags is available either as a stand-alone DVD from Brain Damage Films (as pictured at the outset of this review), which probably contains a fair amount of extras (assuming you actually want to know more about how this was made), or you can see it like I did, as part of the “Crazed Killers” six-movie, two-disc set from Mill Creek’s sub-label specializing in microbudget/ homemade horrors, Pendulum Pictures. It’s presented full frame with stereo sound, both of which are unspectacular but perfectly adequate considering (which probably isn’t such a bad overall description of the film itself).

The folks who made Toe Tags obviously had a pretty good time with the whole thing, at least if the rather self-indulgent little “blooper reel” that plays during the end credits is any indication (without it the film would clock in under an hour), and I’m glad they enjoyed themselves — I just wish I had as much fun watching it as they did acting in, shooting, and directing it. I’ve certainly seen far worse fare on these Pendulum compilation discs, but often the clunkers are so bad as to be truly memorable, even if for all the wrong reasons. This one just kind of comes on your screen, tries to do its job, and calls it a day. It doesn’t make a mess of you home while it’s in it (like, say, its disc-mate Las Vegas Bloodbath), but it’s not the kind of interesting, unpredictable guest you’re likely to invite around again.

I appreciate all the effort and energy Enlow put into just getting this thing made, and she’s certainly to be commended for that alone as well as for busting her tail to make the financial pittance she had to work with go farther than it probably had any right to, but at the end of the day, the Toe Tags title is an appropriate one — this flick is dead on arrival.

Which Way Forward For The “Batman” Movie Franchise? Take Eighteen : Costume Survey Results!

Posted on October 22, 2012 by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

Well, the votes are in, and the most popular choice among commentators on this blog for the costume that batman should wear in our new hypothetical trilogy is — not the one in the picture above. By my count we had three votes for the radically different Batman Beyond-style suit, and one for the 1970s-style suit. I can see good arguments to be made for both, but neither, I fear is quite what this new trilogy needs. Nope, the suit that, to me, best fits in with the version of Batman we want to portray here is the costume from Batman : The Animated Series. Let me tell you why —

First off, we’re going for something of a “throwback” iteration of the character here. Less emphasis on physical action, more on detective work. Less grim n’ gritty, and more heroic — but the character should be as mysterious, I feel, as ever. I think the animated series-style suit, as shown above from the Batman : Arkham City costume selection menu, speaks to those qualities a little better than the others. The Batman Beyond suit is too futuristic and too inaccessible to the general, non-Bat-fan public, and the 1970s-style suit , in contrast, goes a bit too far in the other direction , in my opinion — it’s too closely associated with the comic bookas people remember it from their youth.

Now, there are certainly a couple things I’d change even with the animated series-style suit — I’d ditch the yellow oval around the bat, for sure, and lose the blue trunks, hood, and cape in favor of black — but I would keep the lighter grayish-black of the overall costume and then have the bat, sans yellow oval, be very dark black. But one thing I’d definitely leave as unchanged as possible are the exaggerated, whited-out eyes. Let’s face it — we’ve seen Batman’s eyes in every Bat-film, as well as the 1960s TV series, and it’s getting old. Whiting out his eyes gives him added anonymity and a more fierce and determined look.

But how’s he gonna see, you ask? Good question. remember the scene in The Dark Knight where he lowered those blinders over his eyes, whiting them out, and it gave him a kind of night vision? It looked pretty damn cool, didn’t it? Well, I propose the same thing, only it can be adjustable — he can see infrared-style, or with “heat-sensor” type vision, or with a type of “X-ray vision,” or even just standard — all depending on the verbal command he gives his suit via his cowl mic. In addition, the whited-out eyes will function as a type of transmitter to relay visual information back to the Batcave, something we’ll see in the very next scene that I get into. And yes, I changed the font for this paragraph on purpose just to drive home the point I’m trying to make here in the closest way that WordPress will allow.

So that’s how I see things. Even if you, dear reader, disagree with my choice, I hope I’ve laid out my reasoning for why I’ve decided the way I have in a way that makes both aesthetic and logical sense. To me, this costume is both mysterious and heroic and has a sort of retro high-tech feel without being a goddamn suit of armor like we’re used to seeing him wear in recent films.

So that’s it on the costume front, when next we rejoin this series — which will probably be in about a week or so, I’ve got some horror movie reviews to catch up on before Halloween — we’ll jump back into the story proper, so I look forward to seeing all of you back with me then!

Which Way Forward For The “Batman” Movie Franchise? Take Seventeen : Costume Survey

Posted on October 19, 2012 by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

One of these days, I probably really should get around to playing the Batman : Arkham City video game. Of course that means buying a video game system of some sort and that will inevitably lead to getting more games and more games means less time for things like movies and comics. It could even mean less time with my wife, at which point I know I’d be well and truly beyond all help. So I think I’ll refrain.

But still — a fair amount of what we’ve been discussing in this little (okay, not so little) Bat-thread of mine seems to revolve around ideas presented in this Arkham City game, and it’s rather flabbergasting that I’m freely swiping so many concepts for my imaginary new Bat-movie-trilogy from something I really have no first-hand experience with — but hey, that’s the way it goes sometimes, I guess. All of which brings us to the above-reproduced CG menu from the game.

How does that follow, you ask? Well, we’re at the point in our first Bat-flick where, having hinted at aspects of the costume in silhouette-fashion, and having given the new Batmobile it’s so-called “full reveal,” it’s time for Batman to arrive at the Gotham City docks and crash the little party Lucchesi and his men are holding there, so now seems like as good a time as any to show the Bat-costume in all its glory, hence the picture at the top of the post — which also comes, no surprise, from Arkham City. Apparently you can actually pick which of the various Bat-suits used over the years you want your Batman character to wear in the game, and that pic represents the menu of options that you as a player have to choose from.

Let me start by saying that none of them are exactly perfect for what I have in mind for Batman’s look in this new trilogy, but one of them sure comes damn close, in my opinion. Keep in mind, we’ve already shown that this particular iteration of the Batman is wearing his Kevlar-armor bodysuit underneath his costume, so the suit serve as his armor in and of itself as it has in the Christopher Nolan and, to a lesser extent, Tim Burton Bat-films. So that rules out, going from left to right, option three and six as pictured. So — it’s survey time! In the next, shall we say, 24 hours, should you feel so inclined, please chime in here and let me know the following :

*Which of the remaining options you would choose for Batman to wear in the new hypothetical trilogy;

*And which one you think I have picked out.

If nobody responds — it is the weekend after all — I’ll just chime in tomorrow night with my own choice, as well as detailing the small change or two (or three) I’d make to get things exactly as I picture them. Any and all opinions are welcome, of course, but in the end, as they say, there can be only one, and being the dictator of this thread means I’ll have the final say, but if you can lay out a solid argument in favor of your selection, it may just be enough to get me to change my mind!

Until tomorrow night, then!

Which Way Forward For The “Batman” Movie Franchise ? Take Sixteen : The Batmobile!

Posted on October 18, 2012 by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

This actually isn’t a diversion from where we were in the plot of our hypothetical Batman I film. Well, okay, not too much of a diversion.

If you’ll recall, when we last left things the other day, Vincent Lucchesi, Gotham City crime “boss of all bosses,” was headed out to oversee an important shipment coming into town that his guys had neglected to find replacement “security” for once the cop-on-the-take they’d hired to fill that role, the always-crooked Lieutenant Flass, had been sent upriver by Harvey Dent and Jim Gordon. All of which means it’s time to cut to some semi-momentous shit that we’ve all been waiting for (assuming there’s a “we” out there still reading this interminably long series), namely our first scene of the Batman in costume, followed in short order by the debut of this new bat-trilogy’s version of the Batmobile.

So shouldn’t I be doing a post on the Bat-costume first, and then get to the car? Yeah, I suppose that would make sense, but bear with me while I explain how this whole little scene plays out in my mind —

We’ll cut from Lucchesi storming out of his plush penthouse office to Bruce Wayne attentively analyzing a series of shipping manifest numbers on the giant screen of his Bat-computer deep in his cave. Alfred is standing by, attentive as ever, while Bruce says something along the lines of “so if the pattern of Lucchesi’s shipments holds, his next one should be coming in tonight.”

“You intend to be there to meet it, sir?”

“That’s the plan, Alfred. Getting an entire crate of whatever it is he’s shipping in is out of the question, but if I can just get enough to fill up this vial, I’ll transmit an image through to you for analysis.”

“I shall be at the ready then, sir.”

“And speaking of ready — it’s time I got that way myself.”

At this point Wayne will press a button on a keypad control and a plexiglass case containing a Batsuit will rise up from the floor, but I’m thinking for now we should see it only from behind, and that his “dressing” scene should amount to shots of him suiting up in his kevlar under-suit, maybe snapping some gauntlets on his hands, etc. — no full view of him in costume yet, just hints of the overall picture, if you will. This will be followed up by an obscured shot of him breezing by Alfred and mouthing the word “car” into his cowl-mic, at which point a stone dais will rise from the deeper recesses of the cave revealing, in all its glory, the new Batmobile!

Now, when it comes to exactly which Batmobile we’re talking about here, I admit I hunted high and low through various online image archives to find what I felt would be the perfect model. I’m not interested in a repeat of Christopher Nolan’s “Tumbler,” nor did I want a carbon-copy version of Tim Burton’s more classically-inspired ride, although something more akin to the Burton version, based as it was on an amalgamation of several of the better comic book designs, was what I had in mind. Still, the picture-perfect model well and truly escaped me, until —

I found that image reproduced at the top of this post. It’s a conceptual CG mock-up by a guy named Danny Gardner done for the Batman : Arkham City video game. Never having played the game myself I can’t say for certain whether or not it’s the car — or, hell, one of the cars — Batman uses in it, but I think for the overall tone of this new imaginary Bat-trilogy of ours, it’s pretty well goddamn perfect. I’m sure whatever Hollywood designers were working on this film if it ever came to pas would want to tweak it here and there, obviously, but as far as a “this is the kind of thing we’re going for” blueprint goes, I think it’s great. It’s sleek, it’s modern, it’s bad-ass, and yet it’s got something of a timeless quality to it that I think would ensure it ages well along with the film itself. It would also blend into the night pretty seamlessly. What say you, dear readers?

And now, with the car out of the way, tomorrow we can finally get to the business of a “full reveal,” as the saying goes, of the Bat-costume itself!

Which Way Forward For The “Batman” Movie Franchise? Take Fifteen : Meet The New (Crime) Boss

Posted on October 15, 2012 by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

The man you see pictured above is one Carmine Falcone, (former, as far as current Bat-continuity goes) crime boss of Gotham City. You may remember him from Batman Begins, of course, where he was played by Tom Wilkinson — a curious choice being that Mr. Wilkinson neither looks nor sounds especially Italian, but whatever.

He’s also largely immaterial to this post given that we’ve already established that the Harvey Dent/Jim Gordon/”Bat-Vigilante” trifecta has already locked him away at the start of our hypothetical Batman I movie, but the slack left in the absence of him and the other incarcerated Crime Lords has been picked up, to an extent, in our imaginary flick by one Vincent Lucchesi, a name I dropped earlier but that we now will be meeting in earnest for the first time in a scene that, I freely admit, is heavily influenced by Nolan’s first Bat-flick.

Now, I confess — last time around, I left you with the distinct impression that our next segment would revolve around a TV interview with Bruce Wayne, but looking at things more closely over the last couple of days, I’ve decided that now might be a good time to introduce Mr. Lucchesi, since he’s going to figure prominently in this (again, completely imaginary) film, and because I think I’d like to show Batman in action for the first time at right about this point — although, fair warning, that’s going to be our focus tomorrow : one thing at a time, as always!

Anyway, I started this post with a picture of Falcone because Lucchesi is an entirely invented character (at this point — he’s going to eventually become a fairly well-known member of the Batman “Rogues’ Gallery,” but again, let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves!) but he’s a bad-ass Gotham crime boss, and if you want to find pics of a bad-ass Gotham crime boss to kick off your blog post with, you’re stuck with Falcone images — this one, needless to say, from Loeb and Sale’s Batman : The Long Halloween (yes, again!).

If you’ll recall, busting Lucchesi has proven tough for the Dark Knight Detective because his deepest, darkest, most well-hidden secret seems to be that he’s importing an entirely legal, if obscure, experimental liquid compound through a string of front companies, and it seems only logical that in the two-day interregnum between Bruce Wayne’s “official” return to Gotham and his Monday morning chat-show appearance, he might want to have a look at one of these shipments in his Bat-persona.

To that effect, our next scene will show Lucchesi in a plush, Penthouse-type office, smoking an imported cigarette in a long holder, and meeting with a few of his less-than-trusted henchmen. Their conversation will be revolving around a shipment coming in that night, and Lucchesi will naturally ask who’s been tasked to provide “security” for the set-up. When one of the goons replies “Flass,” Luchessi will slam his fist on the desk and yell “Flass??????? You imbecile! Dent and Gordon just sent him upriver this morning!!!!!!!!!!,” thus hearkening back to our “Meet Jim Gordon” scene from a posts (but only a few minutes, movie-wise) ago. “Aren’t you clowns on top of any of the information that’s going around this town?”

“Gosh, we’re sorry, Mr. Lucchesi, so many guys been going down it’s gettin’ kinda hard to keep up!,” one of the toadies will stammer in response, to which Lucchesi will reply,” Well, it’s gettin’ too damn late to bring in anybody else, and I sure as hell can’t leave it to you nitwits, so it looks like I’m just gonna have to go down and oversee this operation myself. We’re at too critical a stage right now to leave it to a bunch’a goddamn amateurs!” At that point Lucchesi, immaculately dressed in an expensive Italian suit, will grab his equally-expensive Italian overcoat and hat and storm out of his office, his lackeys in tow behind him as he swears on his mother’s grave extreme vengeance, delivered with interest, upon Harvey Dent for all the trouble he’s been causing his operation.

If he knew the gruesome fate that was in store for him, he’d have stayed back at the office and farmed the job out after all —

Which Way Forward For The “Batman” Movie Franchise? Take Fourteen : The “Return” Of Bruce Wayne

Posted on October 10, 2012 by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

Okay, I’m cheating a bit this time around, by starting this post with the sort of image I’d ideally like to end the segment of our hypothetical Batman I movie that we’ll be discussing today with, but whatever. It’s a cool screencap from DC’s quite-nicely-done animated version of Frank Miller and David Mazzuchelli’s classic Batman : Year One, and it speaks to the profound emptiness that Bruce Wayne still feels at the center of his life as a result of the cold-blooded murder of his parents. Simple, somber, and reflective, it’s a pretty powerful little image.

And is exactly the opposite of how I’d like this whole little return-that-isn’t-really-a-return-because-Wayne-has-been-sneaking-in-and-out-of-Gotham-to-construct-his-batcave-and-establish-Batman-as-a-presence-in-the-city-prior-to-his-official-arrival-for-some-time-now part of the movie to begin.

The arrival gate at Gotham International airport should be literally packed with reporters, photographers, flashbulbs going off and the like — maybe even a couple of rather presumptuous young ladies with flowers — and a press aide/PR flak informing all and sundry that “Mr. Wayne will be sitting down with the media on Monday morning to address any and all questions as to his past activities and future plans.” The throng should literally begin pushing in towards Wayne as he smiles and good-naturedly holds his hand in front of his face while he offers some lame line like “please, friends, I’m flattered by all the attention, and it’s great to be home, but trust me when I say my travels have been exhausting and right now there’s no such thing as a good angle from which to photograph me.” A quick “Key To The City”-type presentation from the Mayor and a couple other local dignitaries before he exits the airport might even be in order, though it should be quick and Wayne should be both engaging yet totally non-specific if he’s called upon to, as the old expression goes, “say a few words.”

The bedlam should continue unabated as Bruce heads to his waiting limousine, Alfred assuming chauffeur’s duties in the front, and by the time he’s reached the car he should look truly, well, not so much exhausted as just plain bored with the attention already. Message to the audience : this is a guy on a mission, who is by nature uncomfortable with the limelight but won’t let that sort of thing distract him from his ultimate aims, one of which is, he already understands to his sometimes-chagrin, presenting an upstanding public image for himself as a responsible civic leader. In other words, the “front” of being a “playboy” that we’re used to seeing from him in other iterations of the character is definitely not going to be a part of this series.

Which is not to say that he’s going to be all business, either — humanizing the Bruce Wayne persona is a big part of what this little imaginary trilogy of mine is all about, and my hope is that, as further details unfold, how I intend to portray this “more human” side will become readily apparent. If it’s not, then I won’t have done my job properly.

Anyhow, after exchanging the briefest of pleasantries with the ever-faithful Mr. Pennyworth, an exchange that ends with an admittedly predictable “just take me home, Alfred,” the last image we’ll be left with as far as this whole early segment of the film goes will ideally be one very much like the picture we started things out with here — Bruce Wayne, silent and alone, brooding over his parents’ tombstones on the “stately Wayne Manor” grounds. The media interview mentione a moment ago that he’ll be giving, and that we hinted at in an earlier post in this series, will be the focus of our attention when I return to this (go ahead, say it — never-ending) series in a few days’ (that’s the plan, at any rate) time!

Which Way Forward For The “Batman” Movie Franchise? Take Thirteen : A Brief Aside, Followed By A Recap Of Where We Are Now

Posted on October 9, 2012 by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

By most, if not all. accounts, Neal Adams is one of the most significant artists to ever draw the Caped Crusader — some might even argue the most significant. You’d never guess as much, though, if you were unfamiliar with Adams’ previous work and all you ever saw of his art was the picture of a rather deranged-looking Bruce Wayne reproduced above. To be fair, though, said panel is from the pages of Batman : Odyssey, truly one of the most flabbergasting superhero comics I’ve ever laid eyes on, and which DC will be collecting in hardcover format just a few short days from now (assuming they stick to their publishing schedule, which is sometimes a rather iffy proposition).

When word first got out that Adams was returning to Batman, reaction in the fan community was ecstatic — when the first issue of the series itself came out, though, reality set in and people suddenly remembered that while Adams was — and for the most part remains, don’t let that pic sway you too much — a fantastic visual storyteller, he’s also, well — a unique, shall we say, writer, as evidenced in the past by his creations such as Ms. Mystic (still the only comic I’ve ever seen that shows a deer in the woods throwing up!) and the astonishingly stupid Skateman. Needless to say, once it became apparent (like, on page one of issue one) that Batman : Odyssey was going to have a lot more to do with Adams riding his many personal hobby-horses than it was going to concern itself with indulging in trivialities like telling an actual coherent story, negative reaction was both swift and merciless.

On the most liminal level, I suppose, the numerous (and voluminous) critics are right — there’s no doubt that Batman : Odyssey is a tremendously self-indulgent work, with Adams ensuring prominent roles for all his favorite supporting characters such as Ra’s Al Ghul (who he co-created) and contriving a “plot,” painfully circuitous as it is, that somehow manages to get Batman riding on the back of a fucking pterodactyl inside the center of the Earth, thus ensuring that he gets a chance to expound — at great length! — about the “hollow Earth,” or, as he prefers to call them, “expanding Earth,” theories that he holds near and dear to his heart. I’ve even seen this series referred to as the comics equivalent of Tommy Wiseau’s The Room on more than one occasion.

But you know what? I’m here today to tell you that all the naysayers out there are wrong. Sort of. Sure, Batman : Odyssey makes no rational sense whatsoever — that’s the best thing about it! Whatever happened to liking a book just because it’s pure, stupid, unadulterated fun? We’re talking about a guy who dresses up like a bat and fights crime! It’s too late to demand to “grittiness” and “realism” in a Batman story from the very outset! Just roll with it, folks, and enjoy the unhinged ride! Besides, if Grant Morrison wrote a comic that featured Batman riding around on dinosaurs inside the center of the Earth, he’d be getting praise heaped on him for being “post-ironic,” and for “celebrating the nonsensical values inherent in the super-hero genre” — yet when Adams does it it’s proof that he’s “lost a step,” is “out of touch with the modern comics readership,” and, most insultingly, that he might be just plain “losing his grip on reality.” What’s up with that double-standard?

Okay, yes, Neal’s older now, and his art is a lot more —- uhhhmmmm — “free-form,” to be generous about it, and loosey-goosey than it used to be, but it’s still head and shoulders above any of the guys working on the monthly Bat-books today, all of whom are determined to reflect in their visual renderings the oh-so-somber tones of the uber-serious writers like Scott Snyder who are handling the scripting chores. All in all, while it admittedly goes waaaaayyyyy too far in the other direction, Batman : Odyssey is the perfect antidote to the modern version of the Dark Knight Detective, which has become mired in the act of taking itself far too seriously for its own good.

Most of the book, too, is narrated by a curiously shirtless Bruce Wayne, which brings us around to , I suppose, the actual subject of today’s post, which is the next step in the plot of our hypothetical Batman I movie, namely the “official” return of Bruce Wayne to Gotham City.

As you’ll recall if you’ve been following this series of posts, when last we left things, our guy Bruce had hopped a train west in preparation for catching a flight back home that was to signal the public end to his decade-plus-long sojourn to parts unknown. Needless to say, we know what the press and public doesn’t, which is that Gotham’s favorite (read : wealthiest) son has actually been ducking in and out of town for a couple years putting his “batcave” together, and setting to work as the as-yet-unnamed “bat-vigilante” in the evenings, as well (so as to avoid one rather obvious, but to my knowledge never-before-asked, question, namely : isn’t it awfully convenient that the Batman starts to turn up in town at pretty much the same time as the return of the prodigal Mr. Wayne?). We then segued into a series of brief introductory segments featuring most of the more prominent members of the series’ supporting cast — Jim Gordon, Harvey Dent, and Selina Kyle/Catwoman, respectively — and now it’s time to pick things back up with the media circus that’s sure to greet Brucie-Boy from the moment he touches down on the tarmac.

We’ll get to all that tomorrow, though. For now, I leave you with one last thought vis a vis all the Neal Adams-bashing that’s been going on in the comics world over the last year-plus : guess who’s getting the last laugh? Neal Adams, “senile and over the hill” as he is, just inked an apparently-quite-lucrative deal to write and draw a six-part, sure-to-be-heavily-promoted, X-Men “event”-style miniseries for Marvel. It’ll probably be scoffed at by the quasi-sophisticated “elite” readership out there — you know, the folks who, if they were so fucking discerning, wouldn’t be reading superhero comics in the first place — but sell like hotcakes regardless. And while it’s sure to make very little, if any, conventionally-defined sense, it’ll probably still be better than Avengers Vs. X-Men by a ludicrously wide margin.

Which Way Forward For The “Batman” Movie Franchise? Take Twelve : A Few Words About Catwoman

Posted on September 30, 2012 by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

It occurs to me that before we delve into the “meat,” so to speak, of our story any further, I should take a brief step back and say explain what I have in mind for Catwoman , at least conceptually, in our little hypothetical series, and since my last post ended with her on-screen introduction, and I’ve mentioned a time or eight that she will be playing a major part in the Batman I, II, and III trilogy, now is probably as good a time as any to give folks an idea of what I view the “ideal” Catwoman for this series to be like.

Which doesn’t mean I’m going to drop names as to who should be playing her. Sorry. Casting ideas are waaaaayyyy down the road a piece, after our plot is all laid out, so we’re not going anywhere near all that — yet. Can’t say I blame you for trying, though!

Anyway, as you know, I never pic our introductory graphics for these pieces by accident, so if you want to know what sort of Catwoman I’m picturing for this series, she’s right there on top of this post. I know, I know — a real Julie Newmar style “feline fatale” would be great, but that , again, (sigh) “just wouldn’t fly with a contemporary audience,” and is also way heavier on the camp than her character requirements in this reboot call for, where — without giving a way too much! — she’s going to go from Batman’s flirtatious friend/foe to essentially “full-time” love interest to, at a very crucial point, the voice of his conscience.

But, again, we don’t want to get ahead of ourselves. Obviously, Catwoman is always going to be sexy — she can’t help herself! — but we don;t want to go too overtly heavy on the sex appeal a la the Halle Berry version of the character. The PVC bondage look of Michelle Pfeiffer’s incarnation is out, too. And Anne Hathaway’s super-contemporary look is a bit too non-feline and frankly eschews the more “old school” vibe we’re going with from top to bottom here.

So — the cartoon Catwoman it is. Not, of course, that I would want, or even expect, her to look exactly like that once she hits the screen. I’m just saying that her overall visual aesthetic should be based on, or at the very least inspired by, that sort of look. It’s a map, not the destination itself. Just so we’re clear on that.

One thing that I definitely want to emphasize in this series, and that I thought Nolan did a nice job with is The Dark Knight Rises, is that Batman and Catwoman come from very different “sides of the tracks,” so to speak, socio-economically speaking. While I wouldn’t come right on out and portray her as being a prostitute like Frank Miller and David Mazzuchelli did in Batman : Year One, it should be clear that she’s seen her fair share of hard times and that she isn;t necessarily proud of everything she’s done to provide for herself and, as we’ve already seen in our last post, her younger sister. This is somebody that’s called Catwoman not just because she loves her furry feline friends, but because she’s had to bite, scratch, and claw for everything she’s got.

So that’s how I see the overall shape of her character, with several blanks to be filled in as we continue filling in plot details. On a “housekeeping” note, I’ll be taking the next couple days off from doing any sort of blogging, but this series should be resuming on either Wednesday or Thursday. I’ll be doing quite a bit of writing on horror movies during the month of October, but should hopefully still have time to do one or two entries in this Batman series every week, as well, so look for something a bit more balanced in terms of my overall output in the days and weeks to come — I won’t be ignoring this series for two or three weeks as I did a little while back there, but I won’t be making new entries almost daily as I’ve managed to do for the last week or two, either. I think one or twice a week — heck ,maybe three times — is enough to sustain the interest of most folks without having this series consume all my writing time, but we shall see.

In any case, as always, I look forward to your thoughts, dear reader, on today’s matter at hand. What sort of Catwoman would you consider to be ideal?

Which Way Forward For The “Batman” Movie Franchise? Take Eleven : Other Principal Players

Posted on September 27, 2012 by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

Hello once again, friends, and welcome to yet another in this seemingly endless series on relaunching the Batman franchise for the silver screen. Our introductory graphic this time around comes from the rather lackluster Batman : Earth One graphic novel, which I don’t really recommend anyone actually read, but I’m kicking things off with this picture because it’s a pretty accurate depiction of how I’m thinking Jim Gordon ought to look in this movie, and where this story falls for him chronologically in terms of his career. More about which in a very brief moment —

So, as we left things yesterday, Bruce Wayne was on his way back to Gotham, having headed west Boxcar Willie-style and spent most of the trip daydreaming about his past, giving us a pastiche of origin/background scenes to either tell us what we already know about his origins or tease us with aspects we may not be as familiar with. It seems to me that this point in our hypothetical Batman I would be a pretty good time to introduce our other key cast members before lunging into the media circus that will await Batman in his “civilian” identity when he “officially” returns home.

First off I think police commissioner Jim Gordon (who, it should be noted, will be holding the “top cop” job from the start of this series) merits a quick intro, and while I hate to say “any scene showing him to be a good cop at this point will do,” the truth of the matter is — any scene showing him to be a good cop at this point will do. I’m thinking a little confrontation with his former partner, the hopelessly corrupt Lieutenant Flass, would serve our purposes well, maybe with Gordon on the right side of a set of cell bars and Flass on the wrong side, with some dialogue between them along the lines of Gordon near-taunting Flass about being sent upriver along with the rest of Carmine Falcone’s men, while Flass retorts limply with something like “way to sell out your old partner, Jimmy-boy, you got to the top on the backs of 80 good cops you sold out,” and Gordon responding with “80 cops, maybe, but good cops? Don’t kid yourself, Flass — anyway, just came to say goodbye, Harvey Dent will be seeing you in court in a few hours, and he’s batting .1000 with his conviction rate.”

Which will, of course, naturally lead to a scene showing Harvey Dent, maybe eating a bowl of cereal at home, with his wife, Gilda, in the background. He’s got a newspaper opened up next to him on the table, and Gilda asks who’s on his docket that day. He mentions the names of four Falcone deputies, including Flass. She says he must be feeling confident since he doesn’t have any legal briefs in front of him. “Just catching up on what’s happening around town?” She takes the paper and says “what is happening around town — besides you and Gordon finally cleaning up all the garbage?” At this point she takes a look at the article he was reading and says “ahhhh, the notorious cat-burglar — is she on your radar screen next?” “No need to be jealous, honey, the truth is she won’t be on my radar screen until Jim and his boys actually catch her,” all of which, of course, will lead us to —

A rather shabby-chic, semi-Bohemian-looking apartment in an obviously run-down part of town, where, dawn breaking, a lithe figure slinks in through an open window in a rather skin-tight outfit. She shoos about a dozen cats aside before reaching into a sewed-in compartment on her costume and taking out a couple pearl necklaces, diamond rings, and a wad of large bills, which she quickly locks away in a safe in her closet. A disembodies voice asks “Selina? Is that you? And we see the voice belongs to a 16-or 17-year old girl who’s still in bed, a few cats laying around her. Selina removes her mask and goggles, leans over her young charge, kisses her on the forehead, says “ssshhhh — yes, it’s me — just back from work — go on back to sleep, you’ve still got an hour or so before school,” and with that, we’ve “met,” at least in passing, the three most significant supporting cast members in our series not named Alfred.

So that’s the intros out of the way — next up we’ll have the much-talked-about-on-this-blog-already “return” of Bruce Wayne to Gotham, so please check back tomorrow if you’re interested in the details of just exactly how all that’s going to play out!