Author Archives: Jedadiah Leland

Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986, directed by Jerry Paris)

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Police Academy 3 opens with a state in the middle of a fiscal crisis.  Money has to be saved somewhere and the governor (Ed Nelson) has decided that it’s not necessary for the state to have two police academies.  I am not sure why the governor would be the one to make that determination since the previous two Police Academy films established that the academies are run by the city but I guess I should remember that I’m watching a Police Academy film and not ask too many questions.

Which academy is going to be closed down?  Will it be the academy run by Commandant Lassard (George Gaynes) or the one run by Commandant Mauser (Art Metrano, returning from the second film)?  Mauser is willing to use any dirty, under-handed trick to keep his academy open.  Meanwhile, Lassard has his most recent graduating class returning to instruct his latest batch of recruits.  Can Mahoney (Steve Guttenberg) and Michael Winslow’s human sound effects machine save the academy?

When I watched Police Academy 3 this weekend, I was surprised to discover that it wasn’t as bad as I remembered.  Maybe it’s because I watched it immediately after the first two films and my senses were dulled but Police Academy 3 turned out to be an amiable and enjoyably stupid comedy. It helped that two of the new recruits were played by Tim Kazurinsky and Bobcat Goldthwait.  Returning to the roles that they first played in the second movie, Kazurinsky and Goldthwait make for a good comedic team.  As for the rest of the Police Academy regulars, they all do their usual comedy bits like pros and without any fuss.  It’s predictable and sometimes, funny.

Police Academy 3 was the first Police Academy film to have a PG-rating and, as a result, the jokes were still as juvenile and crude as the first two movies but, at the same time, Police Academy 3 seems to have made peace with the fact that it’s target audience was a bunch of adolescent boys dropped off at the theater by their mothers.  Mauser is still regularly humiliated but no one gets a blow job while standing in front of a podium.  This is a Police Academy for the entire family, assuming that your family is easily amused and not too demanding.

Police Academy 3 is a dumb movie and the recurring joke about policemen accidentally entering the Blue Oyster Bar is even less funny the third time that it’s used.  There’s also a Japanese recruit who only seems to be included because, back in the 80s, American films were obsessed with making fun of Japan.  Despite all that, Police Academy 3 is still not as bad as the usual Police Academy sequel.

But what about Police Academy 4?  Check in tomorrow to find out if it’s also better than I initially remembered.

(It’s not.)

Music Video of the Day: Living In A Ghost Town by The Rolling Stones (2020, directed by Joe Connor)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

This may be the first music video of the COVID-19 era.

This song was recorded about a year ago, for the Rolling Stones’s next album.  That’s a project that the Stones are still working on but, over the past month, Living In A Ghost Town has suddenly become very relevant.  This video was shot around the ghost towns in which we are all currently living.

Just think, all of the new and edgy bands haven’t had anything to say about the coronavirus.  The Rolling Stones had a lot to say and that’s why they’re still the world’s greatest rock and roll band.

Enjoy!

Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985, directed by Jerry Paris)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

In an unnamed city that is probably meant to be Los Angeles but which looks like Toronto, a criminal gang known as the Scullions have taken over the 16th precinct.  Led by the loud, marble-mouthed Zed (Bobcat Goldthwait), the Scullions are terrorizing the citizens and harassing one shop owner, Carl Sweetchuck (Tim Kazurinsky), in particular.  The captain of the 16th precinct, Pete Lassard (Howard Hesseman), calls his brother, Eric Lassard (George Gaynes), and asks for the best cadets to have recently graduated from the police academy.

Carey Mahoney (Steve Guttenberg) and a few other of the cadets from the first Police Academy movie end up in the 16th.  Tackleberry (David Graf) is there and so is accident-prone Douglas Fackler (Bruce Mahler).  Bubba Smith is back as Hightower and so is Michael Winslow, the human sound effects machine.  They’re determined to help Lassard’s brother but it’s not going to be easy because they have to work with Lt. Mauser (Art Metrano) who is basically a dick who wants to be captain.  Mauser is exactly like Harris from the first film, except his name is Mauser and, instead of getting his head stuck up a horse’s ass, he gets his hands super-glued to his head.

Police Academy 2 is less raunchy than the first film but still not quite as family friendly as the films that would follow.  There’s still one f-bomb dropped and a few adult jokes, as if the film wasn’t fully ready to admit that it was destined to become associated with juvenile viewers who would laugh at almost anything involving a bodily function.  There is one funny moment where Steve Guttenberg goes undercover to join Zed’s gang, mostly because he’s Steve Guttenberg and he’s even less believable as a gang member than he was as a cop.  The closest thing that movie has to a highlight is Bobcat Goldthwait’s manic turn as Zed and Tim Kazurinsky’s desperation as he watches his store get repeatedly destroyed.  Tackleberry also gets an amusing romantic subplot, where he meets a police woman (Colleen Camp) who loves guns almost as much he does.  Unfortunately, Tackleberry’s romance gets pushed to the side by all of the gang activity.

Police Academy 2 is stupid but, depending on how much tolerance you have for Bobcat Goldthwait, sometimes funny.  It’s not as “good” as the first film but it’s still better than most of what would follow.  Speaking of which, tomorrow, I will be reviewing the first Police Academy film to get a PG-rating, Police Academy 3: Back in Training.

Music Video Of The Day: Sax and Violins by Talking Heads (1991, directed by ????)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

“I wrote the words later for the opening scene of Wim Wenders’Until the End of the World. The movie is supposed to take place in the year 2000, so I spent a lot of time trying to image music of the near future: post-rock sludge with lyrics sponsored by Coke and Pepsi? Music created by machines with human shouts of agony and betrayal thrown in? Faux Appalachian ballads, the anti-tech wave? The same sounds and licks from the 60s and 70s regurgitated yet again by a new generation of samplers? The Milli Vanilli revival? Rappin’ politicos… sell your soul to the beat, y’all? Well, it was daunting… so I figured, hell with it, I’d imagine Talking Heads doing a reunion LP in the year 2000, and them sounding just like they used to.”

— David Byrne on Sax and Violins

Sax and Violins was one of Talking Heads’s final hits before the band broke up in 1991.  It was also one of their final videos and it seems appropriate that the song sounds like both a warning and a celebration.  Whenever I hear “Mom and Pop, they will fuck you up,” I wonder if that was a description of the band’s inner dynamic, which had become Tina Weymouth and Chris Frantz vs David Byrne by the time of the time of the band’s break-up.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the video is all David Byne, with the band’s lead singer singing the song with his trademark look of detachment on his face.

Enjoy!

Police Academy (1984, directed by Hugh Wilson)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

God help us, it has come to this.  After a month and a half being locked down, Lisa and I watched the first two Police Academy movies last night.

The first Police Academy takes place in an unnamed city that appears to be in California.  Due to a shortage of officers, the mayor has announced that the police academy will now accept anyone who wants to apply, regardless of their physical or mental condition.  Naturally, this leads to a collection of misfits applying.  Martinet Lt. Harris (G.W. Bailey) is determined to force all of them to drop out of the academy and he has a point because I wouldn’t trust Michael Winslow’s human sound effects guy to investigate any crimes that were committed in my neighborhood.  What’s he going to do?  Make silly noises while I’m trying to figure out who stole my car?

The leader of the recruits is Carey Mahoney (Steve Guttenberg).  Mahoney is being forced to attend the academy because otherwise, he’ll have to go to jail for disturbing the peace.  Police Academy is a film that asks you to believe that a character played by Steve Guttenberg has not only frequently been in trouble with the law but would also make a good cop. Guttenberg doesn’t really do a bad job as Mahoney.  He’s a likable actor, even if his filmography has more duds than hits.  But he’s still miscast in a role that demands someone like Bill Murray, who could be both tough and funny.

The other recruits include Bubba Smith as Hightower and David Graf as the insane gun nut, Tackleberry.  Kim Cattrall is the rich girl who wants to be a cop and who falls in love with Mahoney.  George Gaynes is Commandant Lassard, who is out-of-it but not as out-of-it as he would be in the sequels.

You have to wonder how many parents, in the late 80s and early 90s, allowed their children to rent the R-rated Police Academy from the local video store without realizing the the first Police Academy is considerably more raunchy than the later sequels.  How did mom and dad react when they walked into the room and discovered their children watching Georgina Spelvin giving George Gaynes a blow job from underneath a podium?  Or how about the scene where recruit George Martin (Andrew Rubin) is spied having a threesome in the girl’s dorm?  The first Police Academy film is definitely made from the same mold as Animal House, Caddyshack, and Stripes.  It’s just not as funny as any of those films.

However, it is funnier than every Police Academy film that followed it.  There’s enough solid laughs to make the first Police Academy fun in a stupid way.  For instance, just about every scene involving accident-prone Cadet Fackler (Bruce Mahler) was funny.  Bubba Smith gets a lot of laughs just by being Bubba Smith in a stupid movie.  It’s also hard not to love it when Cadet Hooks (Marion Ramsey) yelled, “Don’t move, Dirtbag!”  Hell, I even laughed at the sound effects guy once or twice.

All of the Police Academy films are now on Netflix.  Tomorrow, we’ll take a look at Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment.

Cinemax Friday: Dangerous Indiscretion (1995, directed by Richard Kletter)

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Jim Lomax (C. Thomas Howell) is an up-and-coming advertising executive who, one night, picks up the sultry Caroline Everett (Joan Severance) in a grocery store.  What starts out as a one night stand between two attractive people who both buy their own groceries turns into a full-fledged affair with Caroline asking Jim, “Who are you?” after they sleep together and Jim struggling to define his own identity.

Unfortunately, Caroline is married to Roger Everett (Malcolm McDowell), a wealthy and ruthless businessmen who likes to quote the Art of War.  Unlike Jim, Roger knows who he is and what he believes.  He’s an evil businessman who enjoys destroying other people and who gets a kick out of fooling the world into thinking that he’s actually a compassionate philanthropist.  When Roger finds out that Caroline has been cheating on him, he sets out to destroy both her and Jim.  Because Roger is an arrogant bastard, he not only plots to ruin Jim’s life but he brags about it too.  He tells Jim that he’s going to make his life unbearable and he also says tells him that there’s not a thing that he can do to stop him.  It’s not as if Jim has ever read Suz Tzu and, largely due to the commercials that have been produced by Jim’s own firm, the public sees Roger as being a benevolent and sympathetic figure.  Jim and Caroline will have to team up to figure out a way to reveal Roger for being the monster that he is.

The main problem with Dangerous Indiscretion is that it asks us to accept the idea that C. Thomas Howell could be an equal opponent to Malcolm McDowell.  Howell was one of the better actors to regularly appear in straight-to-video and Skinemax films but he’s till no Malcolm McDowell.  As played by McDowell, Roger comes across as someone who eats his enemies for breakfast while Jim is just a callow ad exec who looks like the star of The Outsiders.  It’s Caligula vs. Soul Man and there’s not much debate about who would win that match-up in the real world.  It’s unfortunate that McDowell, who played a variety of different characters at the beginning of his career, later got typecast in purely villainous roles but he’s still charismatic enough as Roger that you know there’s no way that Jim and Caroline could ever outsmart him.  Whenever Jim and Caroline do pull one over him, it doesn’t feel right.

Fortunately, Dangerous Indiscretion is better directed than the average straight-to-video neo-noir and, even if they are outclassed by McDowell, both C. Thomas Howell and Joan Severance give good enough performances that you don’t get bored when they’re on-screen.  (This was actually the second erotic thriller that Howell made with Severance and it’s a definite step-up from Payback.)  As previously stated, McDowell’s the perfect villain.  By the proud standards of late night 90s Cinemax, Dangerous Indiscretion is an entertaining film with a great bad guy.

His Name Was King (1971, directed by Giancarlo Romitelli)

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During the dying days of the old west, John Marley (Richard Harrison) is the bounty hunter that they call King.  When King is hired to bring in the Benson brothers, who are thought to the head of a smuggling ring, he kills one of the brothers.  The gang takes revenge by tracking down and killing King’s brother and then raping his brother’s wife.  Now, King is the one who wants revenge.

Fortunately, the Sheriff, Brian Foster (Klaus Kinski), is an old friend of King’s and seems to be willing to give him the freedom necessary to get his vengeance.  What King doesn’t know is that Foster himself is the head of the smuggling ring and he has plans of his own.

His Name Was King is a short Spaghetti Western.  The version that I saw, which was poorly dubbed into English, only had a running time of 75 minutes.  Since most sources state that His Name Was King has a 90-minute running time, I can only assume that 15 minutes must have been edited out for the American release.  This was often done when Spaghetti Westerns were released in the U.S.  Unfortunately, it makes the plot to His Name Was King feel incoherent and I’m going to guess that the poor editing job is why Klaus Kinski was only in a few minutes of the version that I saw.  It’s unfortunate because, with Richard Harrison sleepwalking through his role, Kinski’s sinister turn was the best thing in the film.

His Name Was King does have a wonderful score from Luis Bacalov but it’s otherwise, in its edited form at least, for Spaghetti Western completists only.

God’s Gun (1976, directed by Gianfranco Parolini)

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During the dying days of the old west, outlaw Sam Clayton (Jack Palance) ride into the town of Juno City and try to take things over.  Because the sheriff (Richard Boone, who reportedly walked off the film before shooting was complete) is old and ineffectual, it falls to the town priest, Father John (Lee Van Cleef), to chase them off.  Father John is hardly your typical priest.  He’s a former gunfighter who, even though he no longer carries a weapon, still knows how to throw a punch.  Though he manages to put Sam and the gang behind bars, they are all eventually released.  The first thing they do is gun down Father John in front of his own church.

A mute child, Johnny O’Hara (Leif Garrett), flees town to track down Father John’s twin brother, Lewis (also played by Lee Van Cleef).  What Johnny doesn’t know is that Sam, who years ago raped Johnny’s mother (played by Sybil Danning), might actually be his father.  When Johnny finds Lewis, he finally manages to communicate what’s happened.  Lewis and Johnny head back to town so Lewis can get his vengeance  The only catch is that Lewis promised his brother that he would no longer carry a gun so he’s going to have to use his wits to get his revenge.

God’s Gun is a strange film.  It was one of the last of Spaghetti westerns but, though the director was Italian, it was filmed in Israel and it was produced by none other than Menahem Golan.  Golan brings the same producing aesthetic to God’s Gun that he later brought to many Cannon films — a few recognizable veteran actors (Jack Palance, Lee Van Cleef), an up-and-coming star (Leif Garrett), an international sex symbol (Sybil Danning), and a spin on a popular genre.  Like many of Golan’s films, the plot is occasionally incoherent and the entire production feels cheap and rushed but, at the same time, it’s hard to resist the mix of Van Cleef, Palance, and Danning.

Adding to the film’s strange feel is that every actor is dubbed, even the ones with trademark voices like Jack Palance and Lee Van Cleef.  Palance sneers throughout the entire film and could be giving a good performance but every time he starts to speak, you hear a voice that is clearly not Jack Palance’s and it makes it hard to get into the story.  There’s also an annoying squawking sound effect that explodes on the film’s soundtrack whenever someone is shot or whenever Lewis makes an appearance.

It’s not all a loss, though.  The Israeli desert is an effective Western backdrop and there are a few good camera shots.  When Lee Van Cleef and Jack Palance have their final confrontation, the picture starts to spin around and it’s pretty cool.  Finally, if you’re a Van Cleef fan, this is a rare chance to see him playing a traditional hero.  Because he’s dubbed, it’s hard to judge Van Cleef’s dual performances but this film does show that he could do more than just be a smirking killer.  He’s actually a pretty convincing priest.  Who would have guessed?

Day of Anger (1967, directed by Tonino Valerii)

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During the dying days of the Old West, Clifton, Arizona is a prosperous frontier town.  The leaders of the town are wealthy and well-connected and the saloon has a strictly enforced policy when it comes to only allowing in the right people.  Frank Talby (Lee Van Cleef), the mysterious man who rides into town one day, is considered to be one of the right people.  Scott (Giuliano Gemma) is not.  Because he was born out of wedlock, Scott is looked down upon by the townspeople.  He makes a pitiful living sweeping the streets and doing odd jobs, all while trying to save up enough money to buy himself a gun.

Talby, who has his own reasons for hating the people of Clifton, takes Scott with him into the saloon.  After Scott sees Talby gun down a local roughneck, Scott begs Talby to teach him how to be a gunslinger like him.  Talby reluctantly takes Scott under his wing and teaches him how to be a real outlaw.  Scott also learns that the town of Clifton was founded by money that stolen during a robbery that Talby originally planned.  Talby now wants his money and his revenge.  Working with Scott as his enforcer, Talby takes over the town of Clifton.

At first, Scott has everything that he ever wanted.  The people who once mocked him now respect him as the second-fasted shot in town.  But when Scott’s former boss, Murph (Walter Rilla), reveals that Talby is not as benevolent a mentor as Scott thought he was, the student and teacher turn on each other.

Day of Anger is one of many Spaghetti westerns that featured an older gunslinger taking a younger one under his tutelage.  Lee Van Cleef is so confident and sure himself that it’s easy to see why Scott would idolize him.  Talby is an interesting character because, as ruthless and cold-blooded as he is, he does seem to sincerely like and care about Scott.  They’re both outsiders and they’ve both been screwed over by the town of Clifton and the movie hints that the aging Talby sees the man who he once was when he looks at Scott.  When Talby offers up one final lesson to Scott and tells him that once a man starts killing, he can never stop, Van Cleef says it with downbeat resignation, as if he realizes that Scott is now the one who will have to live his entire life alone, trusting no one, and always listening for the sound of a gun being cocked in the shadows.  Scott finally gets his gun but now he has to decide whether it was worth losing his humanity and Gemma does a good job playing his character’s arc.  Add to that an excellent score from Riz Ortolani and you’ve got a truly superior Spaghetti western.

One final note: Director Tonio Valerii would later be credited for directing another film about an aging gunfighter and his protegee, though there are rumors that the film itself was actually directed by its producer, Sergio Leone.  Starring Terrence Hill and Henry Fond, the entertaining My Name is Nobody re-imagines Day of Anger as a comedy.

Now They Call Him Sacramento (1972, directed by Alfonso Balcázar)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Sacramento (Michael Forest) is an amiable and laid back Western outlaw who can barely ride his horse and who drifts from town to town.  When he arrives at a local saloon, he meets Big Jim (Fred Harrison) who ridicules Sacramento for only ordering a glass of milk.  What Big Jim doesn’t know is that the milk is Sacramento’s house.  After Sacramento returns, accepts a whiskey-drinking challenge, and proceeds to drink Big Jim under the table, an unlikely partnership is born.

Since it’s the old west and there’s nothing better to do, Sacramento, Big Jim, and Big Jim’s father, Old Tequila (Luigi Bonos), hold up a train and get away with a fortune.  By doing so, they thwart the schemes of an evil banker was planning on robbing the train himself in order to prevent the money from getting to a town of women who the banker wants to evict.  With the banker’s men pursuing them, Sacramento, Big Jim, and Tequila all end up in the town where Sacramento falls in love with the town’s mayor, Jenny McKinley (Malisa Longo).

Now They Call Him Sacramento is an amiable Spanish-made Spaghetti western.  It’s a comedy, one that was obviously based on the very popular series of Italian films that starred Terence Hill and Bud Spencer.  Michael Forest plays the Hill role while Fred Harrison steps into the typical Spencer part.  While Forest and Harrison may not have as strong of a humorous chemistry as Hill and Spencer, they’re still likable in their roles and Forest, in particular, scores just enough laughs to keep the movie entertaining.  (Just watch him trying to get on his horse.)  Now They Call Him Sacramento may be predictable but, like it’s title character, it’s an amiable and likable comedy and the climatic fight scene — in which a fistfight escalates into the entire town has been destroyed — is a minor classic.