Sledgehammer (1983, directed by David A. Prior)


Long ago, an adulterous couple was beaten to death by someone weilding a sledgehammer while one of the victm’s 8 year-old son watched.  Ten years later, a bunch of stupid college kids decide that the farmhouse would be a great place to throw a party.  Great idea!  After a lot of filler, including a length foodfight, one of the partiers tells the story of the murder and then suggests holding a seance so that they can talk to “ghosts and goblins.”  Everyone agrees.  At first, it seems like the seance is just an extended practical joke but soon, a killer with a sledgehammer shows up.

Sledgehammer was an early direct-to-video slasher film.  It was directed by David A. Prior, who later went on to become one of the buseist DTV directors of the 80s and 90s.  Starring in the film was Ted Prior, brother of David.  Ted plays Chuck, who is not sure whether or not he wants to marry his fiancee, Joni (Linda McGill).  There’s a scene where Chuck and Joni walk through a fied in slow motion.  It adds nothing to the plot but it did add to the running time, which I imagine was the intent.  There are, in fact, several slow motion sequences in the film.  There’s so much slow motion that it’s hard not to laugh whenever the frames start to slow down.  It’s an 87 minute film but it feels like at least 20 minutes of that is due to the slow motion.

Sledgehammer is slow and dumb but it’s hard to really dislike it.  The cast may be amateurish but they also appear to be having a good time and the decision to film almost the entire movie in what was then David Prior’s apartment is actually likable in a low-rent, anyone-can-make-a-movie way.  The opening credits are written in generic 80s computer font and the movie ends with a lengthy “You have been watching” style montage of the cast.  It’s like bad 80s synthesizer music, cheesy but impossible to hate.  As for the killer, he’s stuck wearing a cheap mask but the sledgehammer is a good weapon and it actually makes him more threatening than many of his knife and axe wielding comrades.

Sledgehammer is not great.  It’s not even the best thing from the 80s to be called Sledgehammer.  (David Rasche rules!)  But it’s better than many other direct-to-video slashers.  What it lacks in creativity, it maes up for with ethusiasm.

Game Review: AardVarK Versus The Hype (2021, Truthcraze)


AardVarK versus The Hype is an entrant in the 2021 Interactive Fiction Competition.  All of the entries can be browsed and experienced here.

This year is 1997 and the students at the local high school have been transformed into blood-coughing, murderous zombies by the Hype, a new soft drink.  It’s up to the members of the world’s great garage band, AardVarK, to defeat the Hype but doing so is going to involve solving some puzzles and spendng a lot of time at a convenience store.

This is an intentionally strange game and it takes a while to get used to the format but I dug it.  There are four members of AardVarK and, throughout the game, you switch back and forth from which member of the band you’re playing.  Sometimes, it can be difficult to keep track of which band member you are but I still appreciated the game’s ambition.  This might be the first true enemble Interactive Fiction game that I’ve ever played.

The story is full of goofy, self-referential humor.  Imagine if Kevin Smith wrote an IF game and you might have some idea of this game’s skewed perspective.  It’s a fun game, though, full of odd dialogue and strange scenes.  Some of the puzzles do have weird, out-there solutions but fortunately, the game comes with a HINT section that will help you out.  The best thing to do with a game like this is to just type whatever pops into your head and see what happens.  The joy here is from the journey and seeing just how weird things can get!

Play AardVark Versus The Hype.

Music Video of the Day: Kid by The Pretenders (1979, directed by ????)


On August 1st, 1981, MTV premiered. Over the course of 24 hours, 166 unique music videos were played on MTV. Yes, there was a time when the M actually did stand for music.

According to Chrissie Hynde, Kid is about a mother who has a conversation with her young son after he discovers that she works as a prostitute.  As Hynde put it, “Not all songs are autobiographical.”  The video was shot in an amusement park, contrasting the happiness of kids at play with the sadness of the kid being addressed in the song.

Enjoy!

The First Videos Shown on MTV:

  1. Video Killed the Radio Star by the Buggles
  2. You Better Run by Pat Benatar
  3. She Won’t Dance With Me by Rod Stewart
  4. You Better You Bet By The Who
  5. Little Suzi’s On The Up by PH.D
  6. We Don’t Talk Anymore by Cliff Richard
  7. Brass in Pocket by Pretenders
  8. Time Heals by Todd Rundgren
  9. Take It On The Run by REO Speedwagon
  10. Rockin’ in Paradise by Styx
  11. When Things Go Wrong by Robin Lane & The Chartbusters
  12. History Never Repeats by Split Enz
  13. Hold On Loosely by .38 Special
  14. Just Between You And Me by April Wine
  15. Sailing by Rod Stewart
  16. Iron Maiden by Iron Maiden
  17. Keep On Loving You by REO Speedwagon
  18. Better Than Blue by Michael Johnson
  19. Message of Love by The Pretenders
  20. Mr. Briefcase by Lee Ritenour
  21. Double Life by The Cars
  22. In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins
  23. Looking for Clues by Robert Palmer
  24. Too Late by Shoes
  25. Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around by Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
  26. Do Ya Think I’m Sexy by Rod Stewart
  27. Surface Tension by Rupert Hine
  28. One Step Ahead by Split Enz
  29. Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty
  30. I’m Gonna Follow You by Pat Benatar
  31. Savannah Nights by Tom Johnston
  32. Lucille by Rockestra
  33. The Best of Times by Styx
  34. Vengeance by Carly Simon
  35. Wrathchild by Iron Maiden
  36. I Wanna Be a Lifeguard by Blotto
  37. Passion by Rod Stewart
  38. Oliver’s Army by Elvis Costello
  39. Don’t Let Me Go by REO Speedwagon
  40. Remote Control and Illegal by The Silencers
  41. Angel of the Morning by Juice Newton
  42. Little Sister by Rockpile with Robert Plant
  43. Hold On To The Night by Bootcamp
  44. Dreamin’ by Cliff Richard
  45. Is It You? by Lee Ritenour 
  46. Tusk by Fleetwood Mac
  47. He Can’t Love You by Michael Stanley Band
  48. Tough Guys by REO Speedwagon
  49. Rapture by Blondie
  50. Don’t Let Go The Coat by The Who
  51. Ain’t Love A Bitch by Rod Stewart
  52. Talk of the Town by The Pretenders
  53. Can’t Happen Here by Rainbow
  54. Thank You For Being A Friend by Andrew Gold
  55. Bring It All Home by Gerry Rafferty
  56. Sign of the Gypsy Queen by April Wine
  57. The Man With The Child In His Eyes by Kate Bush
  58. All Night Long by Raindow
  59. Boys Keep Swinging by David Bowie
  60. Rat Race by The Specials
  61. Once in a Lifetime by Talking Heads
  62. Victim by Bootcamp
  63. Tonight’s the Night (Gonna be Alright) by Rod Stewart
  64. Cruel to be Kind by Nick Lowe
  65. A Little In Love by Cliff Richard
  66. Wild-Eyed Southern Boys by 38 Special
  67. Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush
  68. Celebrate The Bullet by The Selecter
  69. More Than I Can Say by Leo Sayer
  70. A Message To You, Rudy by The Specials
  71. Heart of Glass by Blondie
  72. Oh God, I Wish I Was Home Tonight by Rod Stewart

Hellgate (1989, directed by William A. Levey)


In what we’re told is supposed to be the 1950s (even though everybody looks and dresses as if they’re from 1989, the year this film was shot), a group of bikers murder a young waitress named Josie (Abigail Wolcott).  Josie’s father hacks the biker’s to death with an axe and, years later, uses a magic blue crystal to bring Josie back to life.  However, Josie is inow a succubus who wanders along the highway and waits to be picked up by random travelers.  She brings them back to a ghost town called Hellgate, where her father uses the gem to turn them into zombies or ghosts or something.  Jose’s latest target is a college student named Matt (Ron Palillo), who is heading up  to the mountains to meet up with his girlfriend and another couple.  When Matt gets distracted by Josie, will he be able to escape or will he lose his mortal soul or whatever is that supposed to be going on in the town of Hellgate?

This is a confusing film.  It actually feels like a hodgepodge of outtakes from several other films which were just put together in an attempt to salvage something and hopefully make some money from the undemanding direct-to-video market.  That Hellgate still has a cult following despite being an incoherent mess is proof that the film’s producers were not totally clueless.  People will watch almost anything if there’s a promise of nudity.  Hellgate delivers that, though much of the nudity comes from Ron Pallilo so I can only imagine how the film’s target audience of teenage horror fans reacted to that back in 1989.

This movie does indeed star Ron Palillo, better known for playing Arnold Horseshack on Welcome Back, Kotter.  (In the Gabe Kaplan stand-up routine that inspired the show, Arnold’s last name was actually Horseshit but they had to clean it up for network TV.)  Pailillo was in his 40s when he was cast as a college student and he looked closer to 50.  Still, every woman in the film falls all over herself at the sight of Ron Palillo, even the ones who aren’t trying to steal his soul or whatever it is that Josie is actually doing in this film.  Ron Palillio tries really hard to convince us that he’s a college stud but it’s impossible to look at him without thinking, “That’s Horseshack with a few extra years on him.”

If the story and the acting aren’t bad enough for you, Hellgate was also filmed in South Africa in the late 80s, at a time when Apartheid was still the law of the land and Nelson Mandela was still imprisoned.  Most of the supporting actors are South African.  They try and struggle to sound like they live in the American southwest.  It’s hard to see what the film got out of being filmed in South Africa, other than the fact that it was cheap.

Like most really bad movies, Hellgate has got a cult following but it’s not worth the trouble.  Unless you’re the world biggest Ron Pallilo fan (no judgment here!), this is one you can skip.

Game Review: And Then You Come To A House Not Unlike The Previous One (2021, BJ Best)


And Then You Come To A House Not Unlike The Previous One is an entrant in the 2021 Interactive Fiction Competition.  All of the entries can be browsed and experienced here.

And Then You Come To A House Not Unlike The Previous One is one of the best text adventure games that I’ve ever played and since the joy of discovery is one of the best things about this game, I don’t want to spoil too much of it in this review.  In this game, the time is the distant past.  You are Emerson and you’re fourteen years old.  Your best friend is a girl named Riley.  Riley will soon be moving all the way to Wisconsin.  As the game begins, you bicylce over to her house.  As it rains outside, you two play the games on her computer.

Will you try to beat Infinite Adventure, a series of seemingly simple games where you have to solve puzzles to advance to the next adventure?  Will you once again play the Wizardry knock-off, the one where you kills monsters and find junk?  Will you try out the educational game that Riley’s mother is testing?  Or will you get really brave and risk the sordid world of strip poker?  It sounds simple but there’s a catch.  All of the games are connected and your future and Riley’s future will be determined by the decisions you make.

This is an ingeniously clever game and it will spark nostalgia for the days when everyone owned a bulky personal computer and crude graphics were the only thing that was needed to spark a player’s imagination.  But it’s also a game about friendship, love, and growing up. It’s also not an unnecessarily difficult game and your patience will be rewarded.  I got one of the good endings and I’ve never felt happier about how an IF game ended.  The film is full of great characters, from Riley to the people who you meet while playing the games on Riley’s computer.  I can’t wait to play this one again and see what I may have missed the first time around.

Play And Then You Come To A House Not Unlike The Previous One.

Music Video of the Day: Oh God, I Wish I Was Home Tonight by Rod Stewart (1980, directed by ????)


On August 1st, 1981, MTV premiered. Over the course of 24 hours, 166 unique music videos were played on MTV. Yes, there was a time when the M actually did stand for music

Proving that the music gods have a sense of humor, MTV followed the sublime video for Blondie’s Heart of Glass with yet another video from Rod Stewart.  This performance clip is one of the 16 Rod Stewart videos that were played through MTV’s first day of broadcast.

Enjoy!

The First Videos Shown on MTV:

  1. Video Killed the Radio Star by the Buggles
  2. You Better Run by Pat Benatar
  3. She Won’t Dance With Me by Rod Stewart
  4. You Better You Bet By The Who
  5. Little Suzi’s On The Up by PH.D
  6. We Don’t Talk Anymore by Cliff Richard
  7. Brass in Pocket by Pretenders
  8. Time Heals by Todd Rundgren
  9. Take It On The Run by REO Speedwagon
  10. Rockin’ in Paradise by Styx
  11. When Things Go Wrong by Robin Lane & The Chartbusters
  12. History Never Repeats by Split Enz
  13. Hold On Loosely by .38 Special
  14. Just Between You And Me by April Wine
  15. Sailing by Rod Stewart
  16. Iron Maiden by Iron Maiden
  17. Keep On Loving You by REO Speedwagon
  18. Better Than Blue by Michael Johnson
  19. Message of Love by The Pretenders
  20. Mr. Briefcase by Lee Ritenour
  21. Double Life by The Cars
  22. In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins
  23. Looking for Clues by Robert Palmer
  24. Too Late by Shoes
  25. Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around by Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
  26. Do Ya Think I’m Sexy by Rod Stewart
  27. Surface Tension by Rupert Hine
  28. One Step Ahead by Split Enz
  29. Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty
  30. I’m Gonna Follow You by Pat Benatar
  31. Savannah Nights by Tom Johnston
  32. Lucille by Rockestra
  33. The Best of Times by Styx
  34. Vengeance by Carly Simon
  35. Wrathchild by Iron Maiden
  36. I Wanna Be a Lifeguard by Blotto
  37. Passion by Rod Stewart
  38. Oliver’s Army by Elvis Costello
  39. Don’t Let Me Go by REO Speedwagon
  40. Remote Control and Illegal by The Silencers
  41. Angel of the Morning by Juice Newton
  42. Little Sister by Rockpile with Robert Plant
  43. Hold On To The Night by Bootcamp
  44. Dreamin’ by Cliff Richard
  45. Is It You? by Lee Ritenour 
  46. Tusk by Fleetwood Mac
  47. He Can’t Love You by Michael Stanley Band
  48. Tough Guys by REO Speedwagon
  49. Rapture by Blondie
  50. Don’t Let Go The Coat by The Who
  51. Ain’t Love A Bitch by Rod Stewart
  52. Talk of the Town by The Pretenders
  53. Can’t Happen Here by Rainbow
  54. Thank You For Being A Friend by Andrew Gold
  55. Bring It All Home by Gerry Rafferty
  56. Sign of the Gypsy Queen by April Wine
  57. The Man With The Child In His Eyes by Kate Bush
  58. All Night Long by Raindow
  59. Boys Keep Swinging by David Bowie
  60. Rat Race by The Specials
  61. Once in a Lifetime by Talking Heads
  62. Victim by Bootcamp
  63. Tonight’s the Night (Gonna be Alright) by Rod Stewart
  64. Cruel to be Kind by Nick Lowe
  65. A Little In Love by Cliff Richard
  66. Wild-Eyed Southern Boys by 38 Special
  67. Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush
  68. Celebrate The Bullet by The Selecter
  69. More Than I Can Say by Leo Sayer
  70. A Message To You, Rudy by The Specials
  71. Heart of Glass by Blondie

Mute Witness (1995, directed by Anthony Waller)


Billy (Marina Zudina) is an FX makeup artist who is working on a movie in Moscow.  The movie is a cheap slasher, directed by Andy (Evan Richards), who is dating Billy’s sister, Karen (Fay Ripley).  One night, after shooting on the slasher film has ended for the day, Billy stumbles upon another film crew shooting what she initially thinks is a porno.  Instead, it turns out to be a real-life slasher film as the film’s star is brutally murdered while Billy watches.  Though Billy manages to escape from the killers, the police refuse to take her claims seriously.  Working with a private detective named Larsen (Oleg Yankovsky), Billy tries to prove that she saw what she saw while also trying to avoid being killed the snuff film crew and the Russian mob.

Mute Witness is an intense, clever, and suspenseful thriller from the mid-90s.  It has never got as much attention as it deserves, despite an intriguing premise, a sympathetic protagonist, and an international setting.  The film was shot on location and Moscow proves to be the perfect setting for a chilling story about greed, corruption, and murder.  When Mute Witness was filmed, the collapse of Soviet communism was still a recent event and there were still a lot of questions about what type of country the new Russia was going to become.  The Russian mob was still a relatively new concept to many people.  In Mute Witness, post-Soviet Moscow is a dark and menacing place where no one is who they say they are.  It’s a city where people can easily disappear, money can buy immunity from scrutiny, and where the horrors of a slasher film can’t begin to compete with the horrors of reality.  Though the film was made when Boris Yeltsin was still in charge of Russia, it feels very much like a prediction of the Putin era.

Alec Guinness makes a cameo appearance in Mute Witness.  He only appears in one scene but he makes an undeniable impression.  His scene was filmed in Germany, months before the rest of the film was shot.  (Due to his busy schedule, it was the only time that Guinness was available.)  Guinness reportedly did the scene as a favor to director Anthony Waller and offered to do it for free.  Genuine class, indeed!

Though Mute Witness was overshadowed by the success of Scream, it was still enough of a critical and cult success that Waller was offered a studio picture.  Unfortunately, that film turned out to be An American Werewolf in Paris.  Waller has only directed two films since American Werewolf in Paris.  That’s a shame as Mute Witness was an auspicious debut and stands the test of the time as one of the better horror thriller to come out of the 90s.

Game Review: Closure (2021, Sarah Willson)


Closure is an entrant in the 2021 Interactive Fiction Competition.  All of the entries can be browsed and experienced here.

In Closure, you play the best friend of Kira. Kira has just broken up with her longtime boyfriend. Because she wants to find, for sentimental reasons, a photograph that was taken of the two of them during happier times, she breaks into his dorm room to search for it. When she can’t find it, she texts you. She sends you a description of the dorm room and asks you for advice. You can text back with command like “search the desk,” “look in the closet,” and “leave the room.”

The last command is one that I sent a few times because I’m not a teenage girl and I guess I had the stereotypical male response to Kira’s problem. Sad over a breakup in college? Leave the dorm room, suppress all of your emotions and your feelings, drink until you pass out, wake up with a monster hangover, keeping going out and turning off every girl you meet by constantly talking about your ex, and, after everyone finally tells you that they’re getting sick of hearing about it, move on with your life. That worked in college (or, at least, everyone always pretended that it worked in college) but it wouldn’t make for a very good or emotionally rewarding IF game.

Closure, however, is a good IF game. Once I accepted that I wasn’t going to be able to talk Kira into leaving the dorm room, I helped her investigate and solve the mystery of why her boyfriend had dumped her. At first, I thought the texting approach would make for an awkward game but it actually ended up working pretty well and the game ends with a good message about moving on and yes, closure. It also ends with a suggestion of things that you could tell Kira to try the next time that you play the game. This is a simple but rewarding game, one that can be played more than once.

Play Closure.

Music Video of the Day: Heart of Glass by Blondie (1978, directed by Stanley Dorfman)


On August 1st, 1981, MTV premiered. Over the course of 24 hours, 166 unique music videos were played on MTV. Yes, there was a time when the M actually did stand for music.

After airing the video for A Message To You, Rudy, MTV re-showed the video for In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins.  This was followed by the 71st video to makes it MTV premiere that day, Heart of Glass by Blondie.

I was actually surprised to discover that this video hadn’t been featured on this site before because, to me, it just epitomizes an era.  But I was actually even more surprised to discover that MTV only aired it once on August 1st.  MTV found time play and re-play 11 Rod Stewart videos throughout the day but they could only find time for one airing of Heart of Glass?

Though it’s now one of the band’s signature tunes, Heart of Glass was controversial when it was first released.  Many felt the Blondie, which had come to prominence as a part of the punk movement, was selling out by going disco.  The song, though, is actually very punk in spirit, even if it does have a disco beat.

This video was directed by Stanley Dorfman, the British music video director who also created the deathless Top of the Pops for the BBC.  Because of the appearance of Studio 54 in the video’s opening moments, it was originally rumored that the video was shot there.  Instead, it was filmed at a club that closed down shortly after filming.  When asked, Blondie’s Chris Stein couldn’t even remember the name of the club but thought that it might have been called Copa.

Finally, shortly after it was first released, the song was featured on an episode of WKRP in Cincinnati and the band felt that show played a huge role in making the song a hit.  They even sent the show’s producer a gold record as a way of thanking them.  That gold record could be seen in several episodes, hanging in the bullpen.

The First Videos Shown on MTV:

  1. Video Killed the Radio Star by the Buggles
  2. You Better Run by Pat Benatar
  3. She Won’t Dance With Me by Rod Stewart
  4. You Better You Bet By The Who
  5. Little Suzi’s On The Up by PH.D
  6. We Don’t Talk Anymore by Cliff Richard
  7. Brass in Pocket by Pretenders
  8. Time Heals by Todd Rundgren
  9. Take It On The Run by REO Speedwagon
  10. Rockin’ in Paradise by Styx
  11. When Things Go Wrong by Robin Lane & The Chartbusters
  12. History Never Repeats by Split Enz
  13. Hold On Loosely by .38 Special
  14. Just Between You And Me by April Wine
  15. Sailing by Rod Stewart
  16. Iron Maiden by Iron Maiden
  17. Keep On Loving You by REO Speedwagon
  18. Better Than Blue by Michael Johnson
  19. Message of Love by The Pretenders
  20. Mr. Briefcase by Lee Ritenour
  21. Double Life by The Cars
  22. In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins
  23. Looking for Clues by Robert Palmer
  24. Too Late by Shoes
  25. Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around by Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
  26. Do Ya Think I’m Sexy by Rod Stewart
  27. Surface Tension by Rupert Hine
  28. One Step Ahead by Split Enz
  29. Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty
  30. I’m Gonna Follow You by Pat Benatar
  31. Savannah Nights by Tom Johnston
  32. Lucille by Rockestra
  33. The Best of Times by Styx
  34. Vengeance by Carly Simon
  35. Wrathchild by Iron Maiden
  36. I Wanna Be a Lifeguard by Blotto
  37. Passion by Rod Stewart
  38. Oliver’s Army by Elvis Costello
  39. Don’t Let Me Go by REO Speedwagon
  40. Remote Control and Illegal by The Silencers
  41. Angel of the Morning by Juice Newton
  42. Little Sister by Rockpile with Robert Plant
  43. Hold On To The Night by Bootcamp
  44. Dreamin’ by Cliff Richard
  45. Is It You? by Lee Ritenour 
  46. Tusk by Fleetwood Mac
  47. He Can’t Love You by Michael Stanley Band
  48. Tough Guys by REO Speedwagon
  49. Rapture by Blondie
  50. Don’t Let Go The Coat by The Who
  51. Ain’t Love A Bitch by Rod Stewart
  52. Talk of the Town by The Pretenders
  53. Can’t Happen Here by Rainbow
  54. Thank You For Being A Friend by Andrew Gold
  55. Bring It All Home by Gerry Rafferty
  56. Sign of the Gypsy Queen by April Wine
  57. The Man With The Child In His Eyes by Kate Bush
  58. All Night Long by Raindow
  59. Boys Keep Swinging by David Bowie
  60. Rat Race by The Specials
  61. Once in a Lifetime by Talking Heads
  62. Victim by Bootcamp
  63. Tonight’s the Night (Gonna be Alright) by Rod Stewart
  64. Cruel to be Kind by Nick Lowe
  65. A Little In Love by Cliff Richard
  66. Wild-Eyed Southern Boys by 38 Special
  67. Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush
  68. Celebrate The Bullet by The Selecter
  69. More Than I Can Say by Leo Sayer
  70. A Message To You, Rudy by The Specials

The Crush (1993, directed by Alan Shapiro)


Darien or Adrian?  Adrian or Darien?  Who does Alicia Silverstone play in The Crush?  It depends on which version you saw.

When the movie came out in theaters, she was named Darien because she was based on a real girl named Darien who writer/director Alan Shapiro claimed was obsessed with him.  When the real-life Darien saw the movie and saw that she was portrayed as a psycho stalker, she was understandably pissed off and she sued Shapiro.  As a result, when the film was re-edited for TV and later released on video, Darien suddenly became Adrian.

Whether Silverstone’s playing Adrian or Darien, the movie is still fairly lackluster.  This movie came out when Alicia was still known for playing the lead in several sexually-charged Aerosmith videos and it features her doing the whole Lolita thing, which was very popular in the 90s.  She becomes obsessed with her neighbor, Nick (Cary Elwes).  Nick tries to be nice but when it become obvious that he’s not going to risk going to jail even if the the girl next door does look like Alicia Silverstone, Adrian/Darien starts trying to make his life Hell.  She also tries to kill Nick’s girlfriend with a bunch of bees.  Nick’s girlfriend is played by Jennifer Rubin, who was one of the best of the straight-to-video actresses of the 90s.

(Unlike Alicia’s other pre-Clueless starring turn, The Babysitter, The Crush was not straight-to-video but probably would have been if not for those Aerosmith videos.  The Babysitter is also not very good but it’s an unsung classic when compared to The Crush.)

The Crush is one of those movies that got a huge push when it came out.  MTV was all over it and the commercials were edited to make it look like a steamy thriller starring the girl that every boy had a crush on in 1993.  I can’t remember if the movie got an R-rating or a PG-13 but I do know that my friends and I were bummed out when we were told we weren’t allowed to see it.  Later, we rented it on video and discovered, not for the first time, that we were misled.  The movie itself is really tame and Alicia’s miscast.  She actually seems too level-headed to be the type who would try to kill Jennifer Rubin.  Cary Elwes goes through the whole movie with a pained expression on his face, like he’s wondering how he went from The Princess Bride to this.  Kurtwood Smith plays Alicia’s father and he was always good as a bad parent.  It’s also always good to see Jennifer Rubin, even if her role here doesn’t allow her to show off the wicked playfulness that made her a late night Cinemax favorite.  She definitely should have been a bigger star.

The main lesson to learn from The Crush?  If you are going to portray an acquaintance as a murderous psycho, at least be smart enough to change the name.  It will save you a lot of money and trouble.