Last night, my sister and I wanted to watch a movie.  Since she knows that I love baseball, she pulled up every movie on Tubi that had the word “baseball” in the title.  We nearly went with a sweet movie about a first baseman who promises his son that he will hit a home run every time he steps up to the plate.  I thought that sounded unrealistic so Lisa suggested we instead try High & Outside: A Baseball Noir.

High & Outside is not a terrible movie.  It is just relentlessly depressing and unpleasant.  Phil Harding (Phil Donlon) is a 35 year-old minor league player who still thinks he has a chance to make it to the major leagues.  His team manager (Ernie Hudson) fires him at the start of the movie.  Phil goes home and spends a day trying desperately to save his career and make some money, whether by selling drug or by becoming a coach.  Meanwhile, his poor father, Len (Geoffrey Lewis), is a former baseball great who has suffered from two strokes and who is making money signing baseball cards.  Facing the threat of being sent to a nursing home, he gives his championship rings to his nurse (David Proval) and sends him to the pawnshop to see what he can get for them.

That’s what the entire movie is like, just one scene after another of two helpless men watching as their lives fall apart.  Len was one of the greats but he spent so much time playing baseball that he neglected his wife and marriage.  Phil did the same thing but he was never great so no one will ever ask him to sign a baseball card.  I have no doubt that it’s an accurate portrayal of what happens to many athletes after their playing days are over but it is not pleasant to watch and it’s so dark and depressing that it gets boring and it feels pointless.  Phil was such a jerk that I didn’t care what happened to him.  The only really likable character was the nurse.

We should have picked the home run movie.