Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

It’s time to go back to the Island.  Smiles, everyone, smiles!

Episode 6.18 “The Devil Stick/Touch and Go”

(Dir by George McCowan, originally aired on March 19th, 1983)

I had mixed feelings about this episode.

On the one hand, we do learn a little bit about Tattoo’s past in this episode.  We discover that he lived in Paris before coming to Fantasy Island and becoming Roarke’s assistant and we learn that he may have been a taxi driver.  At one point, his life was saved by a woman named Susan Henderson (Georgia Engel).  To repay her, Tattoo arranges for Susan to come to the Island so that she can pursue her fantasy of getting concert pianist Carter Ransome (Bernie Kopell — who I love on The Love Boat but who is just plain miscast here) to fall in love with her.  Even though Roarke says it will only be for the weekend, Susan is okay with that.  Of course, things get complicated.  Roarke also asks Tattoo how he plans to pay for the fantasy.  Since when does Roarke care about money?  Seriously, after all of the free fantasies that he’s handed out!?  Give Tattoo a break, Roarke!

On the other hand, this fantasy featured Georgia Engel.  Georgia Engel was an actress who specialized in playing very nice women who rarely spoke above a whisper.  Ever since I’ve started doing these retro television reviews, I’ve watched countless episodes featuring Georgia Engel as quirky women who refuse to speak above a whisper.  At first, it didn’t bother me.  Then I watched Jennifer Slept Here, a short-lived sitcom co-starring Georgia Engel.  It was while watching Jennifer Slept Here that I found myself yelling, “SPEAK UP!” whenever Georgia Engel appeared onscreen.

I feel bad because Georgia Engel, in every role that I’ve seen her play, came across as being a genuinely kind soul but the whispering thing …. oh my God, it just annoys the Hell out of me.  And that was certainly the case with this episode.  It was nice to learn more about Tattoo’s life and I’m glad that everyone found love but I’m sick of having to strain to understand or even hear the dialogue whenever Georgia Engel guest stars on one of these shows.

The other fantasy, I liked a bit more.  Carl Peters (Dean Butler) comes to Fantasy Island to meet a woman who has loved for afar, Hallie Miller (Crystal Bernard).  It turns out that Hallie lives on a village on the other side of the Island.  Roarke warns that it’s a weird village that’s never gotten over the execution of a witch several centuries earlier.  At first, I was like, “Since when is there a town on the other side of the Island?” but then I remembered that, during the first season, there was a whole fantasy that took place in fishing village that happened to be on the Island.  Anyway, this fantasy is supernatural-themed and I always like it when Fantasy Island embraces its supernatural origins.

It was an uneven trip to the Island this week but what can I say?  I like island trips!