Shane Black wrote a couple of my favorite action movies during my teenage years, LETHAL WEAPON and THE LAST BOY SCOUT. His scripts are characterized by strong violence balanced out by a healthy amount of comedic banter. That lethal (pun intended) combination made Shane Black a star in his own right, with his work being very much in demand. In 1994 he sold his script for THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT for the unheard price of $4 Million. After hitting this payday, Black would go dark for the next decade and not release another screenplay until 2005’s KISS KISS BANG BANG, which was also his directorial debut. 

THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT opens with Samantha Caine playing Mrs. Claus in her small town’s Christmas parade. She has a nice boyfriend, an 8 year old daughter, and she’s a member of the PTA. This is pretty good for a lady that doesn’t remember a damn thing about her life prior to 8 years ago. After celebrating her friends at a Christmas party, she’s driving a soused old man (Alan North) home when she hits a deer and flies right through the window and lands on a snowbank. This wakes up some of her memories and she starts having a few quick flashbacks and some odd dreams from her past, including the name Charly Baltimore. She also learns that she can easily break a buck deer’s neck and handle knives like a champ! Around this same time, low-rent private detective Mitch Hennessy (Samuel L. Jackson) who has been paid a retainer by Ms. Caine to be on the lookout for any clues related to her past, gets lucky and finds a letter from Caine to a supposed former lover. He heads her way to give her the update. When a local news program shows the beautiful Ms. Caine in the parade, some enemies from her past see the story and head to town to try to kill her. Surviving the attempt on her life, and now with Hennessy by her side, Samantha leaves to find out who she really is and unravel the secrets of her past. Is she a chef? Is she a school teacher? Is she a badass hit woman named Charly Baltimore? The fun is in finding out! 

Geena Davis is so good in her role as Samantha Caine / Charly Baltimore. She’s simultaneously beautiful, funny, sexy, cute as a button, and badass. She was married to the director, Renny Harlin, when the film was made and they both went all out to create a strong, female action hero. I think they succeeded admirably. Samuel L. Jackson is just so good in this type of role. He’s sarcastic and funny, a little sleazy, and very much a reluctant hero who does the right thing when he has to. In 2019, Jackson would go so far as to tell late night host Jimmy Fallon that Mitch Hennessy is his personal favorite role. The remainder of the cast is fine, with Brian Cox particularly standing out. His declarative statement about the ultimate results of a small lapdog continually licking his asshole really hit home for me and is reason enough alone to watch this film.  

Ultimately, even though I personally went to see it during its theatrical run, THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT underwhelmed at the box office in 1996. It grossed around $90 million worldwide on a budget of around $65 million. But that’s fine to me, I enjoyed it in 1996, and I enjoyed it again when I watched it today!