Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Gopher almost gets rich!

Episode 5.5 “Country Blues/Daddy’s Little Girl/Jackpot”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on October 31st, 1981)

I have to admit that I groaned a bit when I saw that Florence Henderson was going to be one of the passengers on this week’s cruise.  I still haven’t quite recovered from the trauma of reviewing The Brady Bunch Variety Hour and, whenever Florence Henderson showed up on any of these shows, she always had to sing a song.  Florence wasn’t a bad singer but she wasn’t a particularly interesting one either.  I remember that she always seemed like she was trying too hard to be Barbra Streisand whenever she performed a song of the Brady Bunch Variety Hour.  Her version of Broadway and easy listening was always adequate without being very memorable.

And, on this cruise, Florence does sing.  She’s playing Annabelle Folker, a country singer who is hired to provide entertainment for the cruise.  She sing a few country songs and speaks with a thick (and not very convincing) country accent.  Annabelle is happy to discover that her childhood friend, Martin Correll (James Noble), is on the cruise with his uptight girlfriend and campaign manager, Barbara (Carol Lawrence).  Martin — or Blinky as Annabelle calls him — is thrilled to be reunited with Annabelle.  Barbara is less enthused and she eventually tells Annabelle that, if Martin is ever going to be a success in politics, he can’t spend all of his time with a country singer who says whatever pops into her head.  What’s weird is that Annabelle decides that Barbara is right.  She and Martin aren’t meant for each other.  Martin is too much of a career politician.  In the end, Martin leaves with Barbara and Annabelle leaves alone.  It was a weird story.  Annabelle came across like a stalker but Barbara wasn’t particularly sympathetic either.  Martin was just kind of wimpy.

Meanwhile, Marcy Crane (Randi Oakes) boards the boat with her father, Richard Simmons (Mason Adams).  Marcy’s just gotten a divorce and Richard is very protective of her.  At first, he’s concerned when she meets Dr. Jonathan Hunt (Frank Bonner), a veterinarian.  Once Marcy explains that she’s not going to rush into another relationship and she’s just looking for casual sex, her father gives the couple his blessing.  This was an oddly inconsequential story.

Finally, Gopher finds a bag that’s full of money!  After he counts the money, he discovers that he is now $47,612 richer!  (Adjusted for inflation, that’s the equivalent of $130,000 today.)  Or, at least, that’ll be the case if Gopher keeps the money.  But Gopher’s a good man at heart so, ultimately, he tells Captain Stubing about the money.  Stubing says that money will be Gopher’s if no one claims it at the end of the cruise.  And indeed, it turns out that the money was not lost by any of the current passengers.  Gopher’s happy until he spots a little old woman crying on the dock in Los Angeles.  She says that she took a cruise two weeks ago and lost a bag with her life’s savings.  Gopher gives her the money.  Awwwww!

This was a sweet story and it was kind of nice to see Gopher get a plotline.  Fred Grandy was a likable actor and I always like the episodes where Gopher reveals that he’s actually got a good heart underneath his goofy exterior.  This story did feature one rather silly fantasy sequence, in which Gopher imagined riding in a limousine with Stubing as his chauffeur, Julie as his wife, and Viki as a little beggar child.  It was kind of a weird fantasy, to be honest.

One good story out of three does not make for a great cruise.  I enjoyed Gopher’s plotline but the other two stories alternated between being dull and annoying.  This was not a great cruise.