Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, the Kotters find a new apartment!  Say goodbye to that iconic closet.

Episode 3.8 “What a Move”

(Dir by Nick Havinga, originally aired on October 20th, 1977)

At school, Gabe asks Mr. Woodman if he ever told him about his uncle who went to a psychiatrist because he thought he was a radiator and he needed help to stop hissing.

“I can hiss too, Kotter!” Woodman snaps.

Why is Gabe telling his joke to Mr. Woodman?  Well, Julie hates his jokes and she’s also busy trying to find a new apartment.  The babies cannot grow up in a one-room apartment, especially one that is continually being broken into by the Sweathogs.  But this is New York in the 70s and a rent-controlled place is not easy to find.  Thanks a lot, Mayor Beame!

Fortunately, Epstein has a solution.  His uncle Mo owns a building and has a place to rent.

“You don’t want to move to Puerto Rico!” Woodman exclaims but Epstein explains that Mo is from “the other side” of the family.

It’s a nice apartment and with the help of the Sweathogs (because apparently, neither Julie nor Gabe know anyone outside of those four students), Julie and Gabe pack up and leave their old place.  They nearly leave the babies behind but, after Julie yells at Gabe, they go back and get them.

The new apartment seems like a great place except Uncle Mo (Herb Edelman) has a strict no baby policy and no sooner have the Kotters moved in than Mo is telling them to get out.  Epstein is so upset about his uncle’s behavior that he uses it as an excuse to start skipping school.  This is a crisis!  However, when an offended Julie and Gabe inform Mo that they will be leaving immediately, Mo asks if they wouldn’t rather threaten to sue him.  It turns out that Mo fights with his tenants for fun and he doesn’t mean half the stuff he says.  Gabe obliges by pretending to yell at him and Mo allows Julie, Gabe, and the babies to all stay.  Personally, I’m not sure I would want to live with a landlord who threatens to illegally evict me for snots and giggles but whatever.  I guess in Mayor Beame’s New York, you took what you could find.  Damn you, Mayor Beame!

Having taken care of all that, Gabe tells Julie about his Uncle Ellwood.  Julie dramatically rolls her eyes as the new apartment is christened with Gabe’s sense of humor.

Weird episode.  Watching it, one gets the feeling that the producers were trying desperately to find a way to renew the spark of Julie and Gabe’s marriage.  Marcia Strassman was notoriously unhappy with the the first two seasons of the show, going so far as to speak publicly about her dissatisfaction.  Season 3 seems to feature a lot more of Julie and Gabe’s marriage and Julie is getting to do a lot more than she did in the previous seasons but there’s such a visible hostility between Gabe Kaplan and Strassman that it’s a bit awkward to watch.  It makes one wish that the show could just return to Gabe telling the Sweathogs not to steal or fight other gangs.  The new apartment is nice but it takes more than moving to save a marriage!