Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

This week, David Cassidy gets married and Tina Louise meets the Blood Countess!

Episode 3.15 “Unholy Wedlock/Elizabeth”

(Dir by Rod Holcomb, originally aired on January 12th, 1980)

Danny Collier (David Cassidy) has come to the Island with his best friend, Ken Jason (Eddie Mekka).  Danny’s fantasy is to finally marry his fiancée over the weekend.  As he explains to Tattoo and Mr. Roarke, he’s tried to get married several times in the past and, every time, something happened that kept him from getting to the ceremony.  This weekend, though, he’s going to get married on the island and Tattoo is going to throw him a wonderful bachelor party!  When Mr. Roarke questions whether Danny really loves his wife-to-be, Danny explains that his fiancée is rich!

The main problem with this fantasy is that, from the start, Danny comes across as being a total jerk.  David Cassidy plays the entire role with this bizarre intensity that makes him come across as being an entitled frat boy.  I didn’t care about Danny and his wedding and, as a result, I really didn’t care when Danny woke up to discover that he had married Christie (Misty Rowe), the dancer from his bachelor party.  Danny was desperate to get the marriage annulled, even though it had already been consummated.  Unfortunately, Tattoo was of little help.  When Christie suddenly disappeared, Danny was arrested for her murder!

Wow, that took a turn.

Not to worry, though.  Danny escapes from jail, goes to a Fantasy Island dive bar, and discovers that Christie faked her own death so Danny could marry the woman that he has been pretending to love.  But then Danny realizes that Christie is who he loves so he stays married to her.  I felt bad for Christie since Danny came across as if he was destined to be bitter and washed-up by the time he hit 30.

You may have noticed that I said Tattoo was the one who explained to Danny that his marriage could not be annulled.  That’s because Mr. Roarke had a mission of his own to deal with in this episode.  When Lisa Corday (Tina Louise) came to the Island, her fantasy was one that caused Mr. Roarke much concern.  Haunted by nightmares, Lisa wanted to visit the castle that she frequently saw in her dreams.  Roarke immediately knew that the castle was the home of the infamous Elizabeth Bathory, the Hungarian noblewoman who was convicted of and executed for bathing in the blood of virgins.  Apparently, Mr. Roarke played a role in trapping Elizabeth Bathory’s evil spirit inside of her castle and Elizabeth was using Lisa to get revenge on Roarke!  (It should not be overlooked that, as a name, Lisa started out as a shortened version of Elizabeth.  Then, everyone realized how pretty the name was on its own that Lisa soon became more popular than Elizabeth.)  Roarke accompanied Lisa to the castle and, when Elizabeth’s spirit possessed Lisa, Roarke was there to battle Elizabeth, rescue Lisa, and banish Elizabeth back to Hell.

Wow, that’s pretty intense for Fantasy Island!

The Elizabeth Bathory storyline was so well-done and energetically acted by both Tina Louise and Ricardo Montalban that it more than made up for all the nonsense with David Cassidy.  The castle was wonderfully creepy and Tina Louise portrayed demonic possession with the best of them.  The whole storyline was wonderfully melodramatic and over the top.  It also took advantage of the fact that, after three seasons, we’re still not quite sure who Mr. Roarke is.  This episode suggests that Roarke has been around for a very long time and that he’s even more powerful than previously hinted.

Thanks to the evil efforts of Elizabeth Bathory, this was one of better episodes of Fantasy Island’s third season.  Not even David Cassidy could bring it down.