Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

What I’ve long-feared has happened.

Tubi has removed the original Fantasy Island from its site.  The recently-canceled Fox version can be viewed but not the original.  Don’t get me wrong.  I liked the new Fox version.  But these are Retro Television Reviews and a show that premiered in 2021 is not yet retro.

Fortunately, quite a few episodes are on YouTube and it’s probable that the original complete series will again end up streaming somewhere.  So, I’m going to try to continue to review this show.  I can’t guarantee that I won’t run out of episodes at some point.  For instance, it doesn’t appear that much of seasons 6 or 7 can be found, even on YouTube.  (Unfortunately, it appears that only the first three seasons of Fantasy Island have been released on DVD.)  But I’m going to do my best!

Episode 3.5 “The Chain Gang/The Boss”

(Dir by Michael Vejar, originally aired on October 19th, 1979)

Tattoo has decided that he wants to be an artist!  Mr. Roarke demands to know why because God forbid Tattoo have a life outside of spotting the plane.  Tattoo admits that he wants to get the island women to pose for him.  Mr. Roarke orders Tattoo to abandon his art career and head down to the docks to meet the plane.

The plane is carrying two guests who hope, much like Tattoo, to change their lives.

Cindy Carter (Donna Mills) is a switchboard operator who has a crush on her boss, Brent Bailey (Brett Halsey).  Her fantasy is to be the boss of her own company.  Mr. Roarke grants her wish and soon, Cindy is in charge of her own multi-national corporation.  In fact, her corporation owns Brent Bailey’s business!  Cindy also gets a executive assistant named Gary Pointer (Roddy McDowall).  Unfortunately, it turns out that Brent isn’t a very nice person and he’s been siphoning money out of the pension fund.  He threatens to frame Cindy to keep her from approving an audit of the fund.  However, with Gary’s support and eventual love, Cindy stands up to Brent and reveals his wrong-doing.  Mr. Atwell (Stacy Keach, Sr.), the presumed-dead head of the company, suddenly shows up at the stockholder’s meeting and announces that he faked his own death to discover who was embezzling from the pension fund.  The stockholders applaud as Brent Bailey is taken away from the police.  It’s all rather silly and melodramatic but the likable presence of Roddy McDowall kept the story entertaining.

Meanwhile, Mike Jenner (Dennis Cole) came to the Island to confront Eddie Collins (Cameron Mitchell), the criminal that Mike believes murdered his father and framed him for a theft.  (There’s a lot of theft in this episode.)  Mr. Roarke reveals that Eddie lives in a nearby fishing village.  Mike goes to the village, spots Eddie, and punches him.  Eddie hits back….

….and both of them are sentenced to spend a year on a chain gang!

Fantasy Island has a chain gang!?  And the chain gang is overseen by a redneck named Captain Hawks (R.G. Armstong)!?  Why has this never been mentioned before?  I mean, is it normal to sentence paying guests to spend a year on the chain gang?

Anyway, Eddie and Mike set aside their difference and break out out the prison camp.  (Fantasy Island has prison camps!?)  During their escape, Eddie gets trapped in quicksand.  Mike does eventually rescue him but only after Eddie confesses to having framed Mike’s father.  As soon as Eddie confesses, Mr. Roarke shows up in his jeep.  Apparently, Mike is now free to leave the Island with his fiancee (Pat Klous) while Eddie is sent to the Fantasy Island prison for the rest of his life.  Much as the other fantasy was saved by the reliable likability of Roddy McDowall, this episode was saved by Cameron Mitchell’s grouchy presence.  One could always trust Mitchell to give it his all while playing a bad guy.

With the fantasies taken care of, Tattoo returns to his art.  When he asks his model to pose naked, she destroys all of his paintings while Mr. Roarke laughs and laughs.  Mr. Roarke really does hate his assistant.