International Horror Review: Amsterdamned (dir by Dick Maas)


“You’ve been Amsterdamned!”

Okay, no one actually says that in the 1988 Dutch film, Amsterdamned.  However, I will admit that, while I was watching the movie on Shudder, I said it after every single murder.  Seriously, it’s just too good to resist.  Whatever else you might want to say about this movie, you can not deny the power of that title.  How many people have watched this movie just because it’s called Amsterdamned?  I would guess a few thousand at least.

As for the film itself, it deals with a murderous diver who swims through the famous canals of Amsterdam and kills just about anyone they come across.  Our diver is not one to discriminate when it comes to selecting their victims.  They may start out killing a prostitute but soon, they’re targeting environmentalists, boat captains, cops, and perhaps even the girlfriend of Amsterdam’s top cop, Eric Visser (Huub Stapel).  Visser is one of those cops who drinks too much, doesn’t spend enough time with his daughter, and who is still bitter about his divorce.  It’s nice to see that “Cops Who Play By Their Own Set Of Rules” are not a uniquely American phenomenon.  Of course, since Eric is Dutch, his partner is named Vermeer (Serge-Henri Valcke).  It doesn’t take Eric and Vermeer long to figure out that Amsterdam has a serial killer haunting the canals.

Amsterdamned is a mix of a slasher film and an action film.  The highpoint of the film is a pretty exciting speedboat chase between Eric and the Killer, which features some truly spectacular stunts and which definitely shows that director Dick Maas can handle directing action.  At the same time, though, the film is also full of point-of-view shots of the diver emerging from the canals and stalking their next victim.  The diver is an effectively creepy villain and the film makes good use of the idea that practically anybody or anything could be hiding under the water.  I haven’t been to Amsterdam but I have been to Venice and I can tell you, canals are both beautiful and frightening at the same time.  It’s had not to look down at the water and to consider all of the secrets that could be hidden under that murky surface.  The comparison between the canals of Amsterdam and the canals of Venice is an apt one, if just because Amsterdamned is pretty much a Dutch version of an Italian giallo films.  While it’s not as mean-spirited as the infamous Giallo in Venice, it’s just as much a whodunit as it is a standard slasher film.

It’s a film that has its effective moments, though it’s also a film that has some pretty glaring flaws.  With a nearly two-hour running time, it’s at least 30 minutes too long and the film occasionally seems to get bogged down with the details of Eric’s personal life, as if the filmmakers didn’t understand that all they had to do was tell us that Eric was a hard-drinking, independent-minded detective and we, as experienced film watchers, would be able to fill in the rest of the details for ourselves.  When the killer’s identity is revealed, it’s a bit of a let down and it’s hard not to feel that the movie didn’t exactly play fair with its audience.  Even with all that in mind, though, there’s enough creepy moments to make Amsterdamned worth visiting.

Lisa Marie’s Grindhouse Trailers: 6 Trailers For The Second Thursday In October


We are rapidly reaching the halfway mark of our October horrorthon here at the Shattered Lens. By the time we reach the end of the first half at midnight on Saturday, we will have published over 200 posts. During the second half, we’ll publish …. well, let’s not speculate. You never know. The world could end tomorrow and, as a result, we might never post again. What’s important is that I’m proud of what we’ve accomplished so far and I look forward to seeing what we accomplish during the rest of the month!

(That said, I’m hoping for another 250 to 300 or so posts. 500 FOR OCTOBER! It seems like a reasonable go. We’ll see!)

Anyway, today seems like a good time for another edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse Trailers! And, since today is Jack Arnold’s birthday, it only seems appropriate that today’s edition deals with giant creature features!

  1. Q: The Winged Serpent (1982)

From director Larry Cohen, it’s Q The Winged Serpent! I’ve seen this movie and it’s undeniably entertaining. On the one hand, you’ve got the serpent flying around and looking all dangerous. Then you’ve got David Carradine and Richard Roundtree kind of sleepwalking through their roles. And then, suddenly, Michael Moriarty shows up and gives this brilliant, method-influenced performance. It’s an odd film but it’s hard not to like that Claymation flying serpent.

2. The Giant Spider Invasion (1975)

From Wisconsin’s own Bill Rebane, here’s the trailer for The Giant Spider Invasion! This is probably Rebane’s best film. If you’re trying to frighten your audience, you can’t go wrong with a giant spider.

3. Empire of the Ants (1977)

What’s the only thing scarier than a giant spider? A giant ant, of course! This film is from Bert I. Gordon, a director so obsessed with films about giant monsters that he was actually nicknamed Mr. BIG. (Of course, it also helped that those were his initials.)

4. Food of the Gods (1976)

Speaking of Bert I. Gordon, he was also responsible for this film, Food of the Gods. Like Empire of the Ants, it was based (however loosely) on a novel by H.G. Wells. Two old farmers feed the food of the Gods to the local animals and things do not go well. For some reason, a football player played by Marjoe Gortner decides to investigate. Shouldn’t he be practicing for the big game? Gordon missed an opportunity here by not having a giant-sized Marjoe Gortner.

5. Night of the Lepus (1972)

As frightening as those previous trailers were, can anything prepare you for the terror of killer rabbits!? This movie is proof positive that rabbits look cute no matter who they’re killing.

6. Village of the Giants (1965)

In the end, though, the greatest monster will always be man. By the way, this is another Bert I. Gordon film. Beau Bridges turns into a giant and plots to conquer the world. Only a young Ron Howard can stop him.

I hope you’re having a wonderful October! Never stop watching the shadows!

4 Shots From 4 Jack Arnold Films


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

105 years ago today, future director Jack Arnold was born in Connecticut.  Arnold started his film career making documentaries and he ended it directing episode of The Brady Bunch and The Love Boat.  In between all of that, he directed some of the best-remembered “creature” films of the 1950s.  Anytime you see a movie featuring giant monsters, you’re seeing a film that owes a debt to the work of Jack Arnold.  Arnold also directed the classic Creature of the Black Lagoon.

Today, in honor of Jack Arnold, TSL is proud to present….

4 Shots From 4 Jack Arnold Films

It Came From Outer Space (1953, dir by Jack Arnold, DP: Clifford Stine)

Creature From The Black Lagoon (1954, dir by Jack Arnold, DP: William E. Snyder)

Tarantula (1955, dir by Jack Arnold, DP: George Robinson)

The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957, dir by Jack Arnold, DP: Ellis W. Carter)

When The Quest For Knowledge Goes Wrong: The Terrifying Mad Scientists Of The Pulp Era


by Henry Fox

Where would be without science?  We would have less mad scientists and Halloween would be much less interesting!  The pulp ere was full of men and women of science who had been driven crazy by the search for knowledge.  Today, we pay tribute to the terrifying scientists of the pulp era!

by David Berger

by Frank R. Paul

by George Menendez Rae

by Herman Bischoff

by John Doolin

by Rafael DeSoto

by Rafael DeSoto

by Ralph Joiner

by Robert Fuqua

by Sol Immerman

by Graves Gladney

Horror Film Review: My Bloody Valentine (dir by George Mihalka)


Poor Mabel.

In the 1981 slasher film, My Bloody Valentine, Mabel (played by Patricia Hamilton) is the sweet old woman who has convinced the mayor of Valentine Bluffs to reinstate the annual Valentine’s Day dance.  The dance had been a tradition, up until the great mine explosion of 1960.  Harry Warden was the only miner to survive the explosion, which everyone agreed wouldn’t have happened if the two mine supervisors hadn’t left their post to attend the dance.  (Why two middle-aged men were so eager to attend a teenage dance party is a question that is never really explored.)  Harry went mad in the mine and resorted to eating the other miners to survive.  AGCK!  The next year, Harry killed the two supervisors and was promptly sent off to mental asylum.  Meanwhile, the annual dance was canceled because I guess it was easier to blame the dance than the mining company or the corrupt union bosses.

Mabel, however, has brought the dance back and it’s probably not a minute too soon because the town of Valentine Bluffs is one of the most depressing towns I’ve ever seen.  The sky is permanenlyt overcast.  Everyone spends all day down in the mine, getting covered in soot and trying not to die.  At night, they go to the bar and get drunk and argue with each other.  If the men need to talk about their feelings, they have a drink at the local junkyard.  Among the slashers films that came out in the early 80s, My Bloody Valentine is unique for taking place in an authentically blue collar milieu.  These aren’t upper class teenagers who are about to be targeted by a demented killer.  These are tough men who work hard all day and who are apparently really into Valentine’s Day dances.

Unfortunately, we all know that it’s impossible to move on from a decades-old murder.  No sooner has the Valentine’s Day Dance been announced than some old drunk starts telling everyone that they’re doomed.  People start to get strange and bloody packages in the mail.  A man dressed up like a miner kills Mabel and stuffs her into a washing machine, which seems like an overreaction on the part of The Miner.  It does, however, make one thing very clear.  If even sweet old Mabel can die, then anyone can die.

After Mabel’s death, the mayor and the sheriff announce that the dance is off but those miners are really into Valentine’s Day so they decide to throw a party anyway.  A few of them go down into the mine, which is not necessarily what I would want to do at a party but whatever.  I just don’t like soot.  Unfortunately, our brave heroes go down into the mine at the same time that the Miner shows up at the party and starts killing people.

The assumption, of course, is that the Miner is Harry Warden but most member of the audiences will have seen enough slasher movies to know better.  There’s two obvious suspects.  There’s Axel (Neil Affleck), who has a temper and knows how to use a pickax.  And then there’s TJ (Paul Kelman), who also has a temper and knows how to use a pickax.  Axel and TJ are both in love with Sarah (Lori Hallier) but only one will get to ask her to be his “bloody valentine.”

Among horror fans, My Bloody Valentine is notorious for having been heavily edited to get an R-rating.  Supposedly, cuts were made to every single death scene and, even with the cuts, this is still a notably gruesome film.  The scene involving the showerhead impalement is especially macabre, even if it has obviously been edited.  The Miner is not one of those talkative, quippy, fun-loving murderers that eventually became a staple of the genre.  Instead, he’s notably cruel.  The murders he commits feel personal and calculated.  He’s not one of those movie slashers who just kills anyone unlucky enough to discover Camp Crystal Lake.  Instead, he has a plan.  In the end, the Miner is one of the more frightening of the killers to come out of the early 80s slasher boom.

My Bloody Valentine works far better than it has any right to.  The mine is a notably creepy location and the film does a good job of creating an atmosphere where you really do believe that anyone could die at any minute.  The film plays out like a nightmarish urban legend come to life and it provides an example of the giallo-inspired thrillers that slasher films used to be.  Despite being a Valentine’s Day film, it’s one that your really should watch for Halloween.

When you’re watching either this film or the 2009 remake, be sure to offer up a prayer to Mabel.  With her love of Valentine’s Day, she made it all possible.

Horror On The Lens: Earth vs. The Flying Saucers (dir by Fred F. Sears)


For today’s horror on the lens, we’ve got a sci-fi shocked from 1956.

In Earth vs. The Flying Saucers …. well, the plot is right there in the title.  In a semi-documentary style, this film tells the story of what happens when a bunch of flying saucers come to Earth.  Unfortunately, the inhabitants of those flying saucers aren’t looking to open up a new trading route.  Instead, they want to enslave humanity and, as always, it falls to America to save the world.

This film is probably best known for the scenes of the flying saucers crashing into monuments and buildings in Washington, D.C.  The special effects were done by Ray Harryhausen.

The film was originally black-and-white.  The version below is colorized.  I’m not a huge fan of colorization in general but I do have to say that they did a pretty good job with Earth vs. The Flying Saucers.  While the film may not be as deeply philosophical as Plan 9 From Outer Space, it’s still pretty enjoyable.

Keep watching the skies!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-JcWNK-0AE

Music Video of the Day: Tomorrow Night by Shoes (1979, directed by ????)


On August 1st, 1981, MTV premiered. Over the course of 24 hours, 166 unique music videos were played on MTV.  Yes, there was a time when the M actually did stand for music.

The 80th video the premiere on MTV was this performance clip from Shoes.  There’s not much to say about the video.  The band is there.  They perform.

Enjoy!

The First Videos Shown on MTV:

  1. Video Killed the Radio Star by the Buggles
  2. You Better Run by Pat Benatar
  3. She Won’t Dance With Me by Rod Stewart
  4. You Better You Bet By The Who
  5. Little Suzi’s On The Up by PH.D
  6. We Don’t Talk Anymore by Cliff Richard
  7. Brass in Pocket by Pretenders
  8. Time Heals by Todd Rundgren
  9. Take It On The Run by REO Speedwagon
  10. Rockin’ in Paradise by Styx
  11. When Things Go Wrong by Robin Lane & The Chartbusters
  12. History Never Repeats by Split Enz
  13. Hold On Loosely by .38 Special
  14. Just Between You And Me by April Wine
  15. Sailing by Rod Stewart
  16. Iron Maiden by Iron Maiden
  17. Keep On Loving You by REO Speedwagon
  18. Better Than Blue by Michael Johnson
  19. Message of Love by The Pretenders
  20. Mr. Briefcase by Lee Ritenour
  21. Double Life by The Cars
  22. In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins
  23. Looking for Clues by Robert Palmer
  24. Too Late by Shoes
  25. Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around by Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
  26. Do Ya Think I’m Sexy by Rod Stewart
  27. Surface Tension by Rupert Hine
  28. One Step Ahead by Split Enz
  29. Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty
  30. I’m Gonna Follow You by Pat Benatar
  31. Savannah Nights by Tom Johnston
  32. Lucille by Rockestra
  33. The Best of Times by Styx
  34. Vengeance by Carly Simon
  35. Wrathchild by Iron Maiden
  36. I Wanna Be a Lifeguard by Blotto
  37. Passion by Rod Stewart
  38. Oliver’s Army by Elvis Costello
  39. Don’t Let Me Go by REO Speedwagon
  40. Remote Control and Illegal by The Silencers
  41. Angel of the Morning by Juice Newton
  42. Little Sister by Rockpile with Robert Plant
  43. Hold On To The Night by Bootcamp
  44. Dreamin’ by Cliff Richard
  45. Is It You? by Lee Ritenour 
  46. Tusk by Fleetwood Mac
  47. He Can’t Love You by Michael Stanley Band
  48. Tough Guys by REO Speedwagon
  49. Rapture by Blondie
  50. Don’t Let Go The Coat by The Who
  51. Ain’t Love A Bitch by Rod Stewart
  52. Talk of the Town by The Pretenders
  53. Can’t Happen Here by Rainbow
  54. Thank You For Being A Friend by Andrew Gold
  55. Bring It All Home by Gerry Rafferty
  56. Sign of the Gypsy Queen by April Wine
  57. The Man With The Child In His Eyes by Kate Bush
  58. All Night Long by Raindow
  59. Boys Keep Swinging by David Bowie
  60. Rat Race by The Specials
  61. Once in a Lifetime by Talking Heads
  62. Victim by Bootcamp
  63. Tonight’s the Night (Gonna be Alright) by Rod Stewart
  64. Cruel to be Kind by Nick Lowe
  65. A Little In Love by Cliff Richard
  66. Wild-Eyed Southern Boys by 38 Special
  67. Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush
  68. Celebrate The Bullet by The Selecter
  69. More Than I Can Say by Leo Sayer
  70. A Message To You, Rudy by The Specials
  71. Heart of Glass by Blondie
  72. Oh God, I Wish I Was Home Tonight by Rod Stewart
  73. Kid by The Pretenders
  74. Come What May by Lani Hall & Herb Alpert
  75. I Got You by Split Enz
  76. Sister Disco by The Who
  77. Fashion by David Bowie
  78. Love Stinks by J. Geils Band
  79. Johnny and Mary by Robert Palmer