Welcome to The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!!!  It’s October- Horror Month!!! I will be reviewing many great and terrible films for your reading pleasure.  My advice to you Gentle Readers: decorate your house, turn the lights down low, read my posts, like them, retweet them, tell your friends and family about them BECAUSE if you don’t demons will get you! Here we go!!!

I am watching a man have extreme explosive diarrhea and cough up furballs, when I think, some poor asshole paid to see this.

Escape From Tomorrow is a quasi horror film about a man on vacation with his family to Disneyworld and things go absurdly weird and boring.  It’s black and white, which gives it a good eerie feel.  It is, in fact, filmed entirely at Disney World and Disney Land. My expectations were raised- too bad for me.

The dad is fired in the first scene over the phone right before he takes his family to tour Disney World.  Upon entering the monorail to the park, the dad ogles and passively stalks two girls.  One of the ladies he ogles is Annet Mahendru – “Nina” – from The Americans and the other is a REALLY young lady.  He ogles them both on the monorail, in line, and pretty much all over the park.  His stalking is the only part of the movie that is moderately creepy and scary.  At so many points in the show I thought, Dude, your children are right there! Gross!

They arrive at the most wonderful place on Earth to find people coughing.  The dad goes on rides and hallucinates.  You expect it to get scary and it fizzles out like a damp sparkler. Eventually the mom and dad go to different parts of the park and the Dad is left to stalk the two girls again, but he gets distracted and blacks out and wakes having sex with a woman who looks a lot like a sexy version of the wicked witch in Snow White – It’s weird. The story gets rapidly off the rails and you have to grab at plot points like wet tissue paper. There’s a “Cat Flu, a ridiculous scene inside of Epcot, and redneck in scooter; it’s truly nonsensical and dull.  SNORE.

This is why the film fails to do anything but disappoint: he had done it- Randy Moore got into Disney and did pure guerilla filmmaking.  However, he forgot to have one thing: a story.  OOPS!!! Maybe he left the story at Universal Studios?! I hear the shark can really startle you on the tram!  From written accounts, Moore was so worried that he would be sued, he edited the film in South Korea.  What a waste of cash!  Disney realized quickly what I did- the film sucks and isn’t worth the paper to file suit in Court.

There was ONE and ONLY one part of the film that was compelling.  The dad had a drinking problem.  He does drink …. A LOT, but the movie strays from that interesting plot point to go off on some boring surreal tangent.  If the movie got away from the surreal bullshit and focused on the dad ruining his family and himself at Disney because of alcoholism, it would have been the most moving story about drinking since Leaving Las Vegas.  Moore, however, squandered that great opportunity and will either learn from this mistake or go into Real Estate.

He did manage to film in Disney without anyone giving a shit, which is novel and a bit impressive.  Also, I have to be stingy with my “As” and “Fs”.  Therefore, I give

Escape From Tomorrow a “D”.