Star Wars: TIE Fighter Anime Short Film

Posted on March 24, 2015 by Arleigh

There’s always been great combos throughout history. Whether it was Lee and Stonewall, Grant and Sherman right up to peanut butter and jelly. Sometimes two things alone and by themselves are very good, but only reach the level of greatness when put together.

This short anime film by animator Paul Johnson (Youtube user Otaking77077) done over four years in the traditional anime style is turning out to be one of the best things to come out this year. It combines two things that were already great on their own, anime and Star Wars, but when put together has reached epicness status.

It even puts the narrative (scored with heavy metal fashion by Zakir Rahman) completely on the side of the Galactic Empire. This is a narrative we rarely get to see since everyone seems to be all in Team Rebel Alliance.

Enough talk…just watch and enjoy.

Film Review: Dragonheart 3: The Sorcerer’s Curse (dir by Colin Teague)

Posted on March 24, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Before I get into this quick review of Dragonheart 3, I better admit that I haven’t seen the first two Dragonheart films. I assume that they all had something to do with dragons. As a result, I can’t tell you whether or not Dragonheart 3 is better than Dragonheart 2 or whether it’s worthy of being associated with the original Dragonheart.

But, then again, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Ultimately, all films — even sequels and prequels — have to be able to stand on their own and be judged based on their own individual merits. And, speaking as someone who knows nothing about the previous films in the series, Dragonheart 3 has a good deal more merit than you might expect.

The film’s plot … well, does the plot really matter? Surprisingly enough, it does. It’s obvious that the filmmakers understood that the main appeal of the film would be to see the dragon but they at least made an effort to keep the film’s non-dragon scenes interesting as well. Taking place in post-Roman, pre-medieval Britain, Dragonheart 3 tells the story of two separate societies that are divided by Hadrian’s Wall. On the “civilized” side of the wall, villagers live in fear of brutish knights who, in the best tradition of governmental overreach, claim to be providing protection but are mostly just interested in collecting exorbitant taxes and bullying the citizenry. On the other side of the wall, fierce warriors live in the wilderness and resist all forms of government control. Meanwhile, an evil sorcerer named Brude (Jonjo O’Neill) plots to conquer both the civilized and the uncivilized.

(And if I wanted to, I could explain how the civilized side of the wall represents our corrupt federal government, the warriors on the other side of the wall represent the grassroots political activists, and Brude represents any number of cynical politicians and so-called “community organizers” who have used those activists to pave their way into becoming a part of the same corrupt government that they claim to be attempting to reform. But, I’ll save that for another day…)

On the civilized side of the wall, cocky Gareth (Julian Morris) wants to be a knight but, when he proves to be too kind-hearted to be an efficient extortionist, he is expelled from the knighthood and told that he can only rejoin if he pays a penalty. Later, that night, Gareth sees a comet fall onto the other side of the wall. Thinking that the comet will contain gold, Gareth sneaks over the wall and goes in search of it.

When Gareth does finally find the comet, he discovers that it contains several eggs and a dragon named Drago (voiced by Sir Ben Kingsley). It also turns out that Brude is also hunting for the dragon and its eggs and, when Gareth is severely injured while fighting Brude’s warriors, Drago saves Gareth’s life with an infusion of blood which leads to Gareth and Drago sharing a heart and becoming psychically linked…

There’s a surprising amount of plot in Dragonheart 3 but it can all be boiled down to this: Brude wants to conquer Britain and he’s cast a spell that allows him to occasionally control Drago. Gareth has to both break the spell and defeat Brude. Along the way, Gareth learns from Drago’s noble example and becomes a stronger knight and a better man.

Against all expectations, it’s all actually rather nice and sweet, with surprisingly good CGI for a low-budget, direct-to-video film. As well, Kingsley brings a wounded dignity to the voice of Drago and Julian Morris gives a sincere and likable performance as Gareth. It’s doubtful that anyone would have noticed if the two of them had just gone through the motions but instead, both of them give performances that elevate the entire film.

However, I have to admit that my favorite character was Rhou (Tamzin Merchant), a warrior who joins with Gareth and Drago to battle Brude. Not only is Rhou fierce and fearless but, much like me, she has red hair! Only 2% of the world has red hair and we all kick ass.

Dragonheart 3 is currently available on Netflix and it’s not a bad way to spend 97 minutes.

The Things You Find On Netflix: The Last House On Cemetery Lane (dir by Andrew Jones)

Posted on March 24, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Usually, I like to think that I can find something to love about any horror film but occasionally, I watch one that is so ineptly produced and so devoid of both horror and subtext that even I have to admit that it’s just not a very good film.

Case in point: The Last House On Cemetery Lane, a British horror film that I watched on Netflix last month. I actually had high hopes for the film, based on the title alone. The title, of course, reminded me of such classic horror thrillers as Last House On The Left, The House On The Edge of the Park, The House At The End of the Street, Last House On Dead End Street, and The House By The Cemetery. These are all films that have their strengths and weaknesses but the main thing that they have in common is that, years and, in some cases, decades after first being released, they still carry the power to either scare or disturb.

The Last House On Cemetery Lane does neither.

In fact, the title itself doesn’t really work because, as far as I can tell, the house is not actually located on cemetery lane. And it’s not exactly the last house on its street either. If anything, it appears to be the only house on its street. To be honest, I can’t even remember if there’s a cemetery located anywhere near the house and, quite frankly, I’m not going to force myself sit through this film for a second time just to find out.

The Last House On Cemetery Lane tells a familiar story. Screenwriter John (who is played by Lee Bane and, giving credit where credit is due, Bane actually gives a pretty good performance) needs to write a script and he needs to get away from the distractions of London. So, he rents a house in Wales. As he tours the house, his real estate agent (played by Tessa Wood) informs him that there’s a blind old woman named Agnes who lives up in the attic but he won’t have to worry about her because he’ll never see her.

Needless to say, John isn’t thrilled about that idea but, after a minute or two of considering it, he decides that he can handle living in a house with creepy old Agnes up in the attic.

Really?

Okay, John is a screenwriter so I’m going to assume that he’s seen a movie before. Doesn’t he know that any time you’re told that there’s a creepy old woman living in the attic that means that something bad is going to happen?

Anyway, John moves into the manor and then he spends a few hours wandering around the nearby village and walking on the beach. He finds a bottle washed up on the beach. In the bottle, there’s a piece of paper that reads “Message.” John laughs and throws the bottle back out into the ocean. And the movie goes on like that for a while. As a veteran movie watcher, I kept expecting the bottle to show back up but it never did. Apparently, that whole thing with the bottle was just included to pad out the film’s running time.

Speaking of running time, this film lasts 112 minutes and you will feel every single one of those 112 minutes. The Last House On Cemetery Lane is literally one of the slowest films that I have ever watched. The deliberate pace may have been intended to work as an atmosphere builder but no … this film has no atmosphere. It’s just kind of there.

Anyway, eventually, some things start to happen. It’s all the usual haunted house crap. Things go bump in the night. Music keeps playing. John meets a mysterious woman (Georgina Blackledge) who has secrets of her own. John runs around the house and demands to know who is haunting it. He talks to the mysterious woman. He knocks on Agnes’s door. Things go bump. Music plays. John talks to the mysterious woman. John knocks on Agnes’s door. John runs around the house and demands to know who is haunting it. He talks to the…

BLEH!

Okay, so you might be getting the idea that not much happens in Last House On Cemetery Lane. And you would be right. What kills the film is that it ultimately becomes so repetitive. There’s only so many times that you can listen to John bitch about living in a haunted house before you just say, “Then move, you jerk!” Ironically, the film probably would have worked just fine if it has just been a 15-minute short. But stretching material this thin out to nearly two hours — well, it just doesn’t work.

I love horror films but The Last House On Cemetery Lane is one to avoid.

Quick Review: It Follows (Dir. by David Robert Mitchell)

Posted on March 24, 2015 by Leonard Wilson

*** Wait! Before starting this, leonth3duke has a wonderful review of It Follows. Read that and then double back here, if you want. . 🙂 ***

I had a jump scare happen to me two hours after seeing David Robert Mitchell’s “It Follows”. As I was relaying the story to my cousin, I heard a loud crash behind me. This caused me to whirl around and jump backwards. Of course, it was just a pair of cats chasing each other around the house, but I guess the movie kind of escalated things for me, mentally. My cousin laughed and said “Okay, this sounds like it’s worth seeing.” It feels good to carry a film around you like that.

It Follows is a subtle horror movie that reminds me of so many other ones – Halloween, Night of the Creeps, Ginger Snaps, The Thing, Under the Skin, The Cabin the Woods, The Babadook, Attack the Block, The Hidden and even Count Yorga: Vampire. It also brought to mind the Slenderman video game, where the player is constantly pursued by a figure that gets closer to them as they look over their shoulder. Perhaps this is where the source of the scares come from, but I’d easily come back to It Follows just for the atmosphere and the music. This movie feels like an 70’s or 80’s film – the kind of movie you’d find tucked away on a low shelf in the back of a mom and pop video store.

It Follows deals with a girl named Jay (Maika Monroe), who finds herself in some serious danger. After sleeping with a guy, Jay is told she’s the recipient of some kind of curse (I can’t think of a better way to describe it, really). The creature can take any form to get close enough to kill her, but is limited in that it can only walk. The only way she can keep it from coming after her is to “pass it on” sexually to someone else. The concept sounds really simple, but it’s actually complex as story plays out. The bulk of the film is made up of Jay and her friends / family wondering what’s after her and where it’s at. The movie makes great use of the camera. Very slow zooms and pans, coupled with long stationary shots force the audience to constantly scan the horizon for threats. There’s even a slow 360 scene that helps paint a picture yet suggest that everyone involved is still kept on their toes regarding the Follower. I had.a number of moments where I either looked away or whispered “Oh crap, behind you!”. The film’s score, created by Rich Vreeland (a.k.a. Disasterpeace) fits so well with the movie, I wondered if he and Mitchell didn’t just pull an E.T. and write the music before the film. It’s a classic, creepy series of selections that feels similar to the Drive soundtrack, but is as strange as Mica Levi’s work on Under the Skin. The score, as of this writing, is available on iTunes. There’s one scene in particular that only uses two high pitched notes back and forth really well. The acting is pretty simple. Monroe is the stand out, playing the lead, but the supporting cast was neither here or there. I can’t say that I’d remember them, but I also can’t say they were bad at all. Is It Follows the scariest film of the year? I couldn’t really tell you. Half of the time, when announcements like that are made, everyone runs to the theatre and then they proclaim the movie did nothing for them. People are impressed by different things. If you are a fan of blood and gore, It Follows might not be for you. There’s very little. Are you looking to be unnerved? Perhaps the film will work better for audiences searching for that. Paranoia is the key to everything here, and It Follows serves it up in heaps on oversized platters. The idea of a slow moving entity that walks while you run has terrified me since Pepe Le Pew and Halloween. For me, it was effective. If audience reaction is any indication, the movie had moments, but not many. When the film ended, there were quiet murmurs yet no real applause (unlike The Raid 2, which had people howling & clapping). The most I can tell you is that I enjoyed it, and will probably revisit it on Friday to see how it holds up with a larger audience. I’ll definitely do the VOD when it appears.