Okay, so after months and months of it being strangely cold and pleasant down here in Texas, this week the temperature suddenly shot up to 100 degrees and everyone’s going outside and mowing their freaking lawns. Which means that it smells like freshly cut grass outside (BLEH!) and every time I step through the front door, my allergies go insane and I end up getting sick! Seriously, I was so sick last night that I ended up staying in for the night and resting, which for some reason my evil sister took as an invitation to attempt to “braid” my hair. Anyway, as I sit here trying to get the tangles out of my hair (ouch!), why not check out the latest edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers?
The title of this weekend’s edition, by the way, is a really obvious homage to a film directed by Otto Preminger. And no, it’s not Skidoo.
For some reason, this anthology seems to pop up on TBS, TNT, USA,, and WGN a lot. Actually, is WGN actually a cable station? It sounds made up. Anyway, I hate anthology films. Seriously, they always suck so bad and the people who make them are always so freaking proud of themselves. I mean, seriously — what’s going on with that? Anyway, it seems like every time I come across it, I end up seeing the part where Emilio Estevez gets attacked by the Bishop of Battle.
Yes, I’ve done some research and guess what? This film is Italian! Yay! Anyway, this trailer informs us that somebody has given all the animals at the zoo a “deadly” dose of PCP. Okay, so if it’s a deadly dose, then why do they apparently end up going crazy and attacking humans? I mean, seriously, shouldn’t they be dead?
Okay, I first came across the trailer on YouTube many months ago while I was searching for film clips for an abandoned post about teaching-centric grindhouse films. This trailer has, for some reason, become something of an obsession of mine and it’s because I still have some doubts as to whether or not this film actually exists. Because, seriously, the trailer is just like a check list of every cliché that we associate with an out-of-control school thriller. And then it stars Jim Belushi? Seriously, this can’t be a real movie. Except I did some research and apparently, there’s a lot of people who think it is real. And you can order it off of Amazon. Not that I’m planning on doing so because Jim Belushi is just like bleh to me.
4) The Giant Spider Invasion (1975)
Judging from this trailer, an equally appropriate title for this film would have been The Countryass Girls Who Run Around In Their Underwear Invasion. While that may sound like stereotyping, it’s okay because I actually am a countryass girl who runs around in her underwear. Seeing as how we’re always getting victimized in movies like this, I’ve started a support group for us, called Hicks In Panties or HIP for short.
Anyway, I actually have some trouble watching this trailer because — Oh. My. God. — I hate spiders! Like I was talking to a friend of mine once and she told me about this time she was on a horse and she ended up riding right through a spider’s web and I was just like, “Girl, how are you still alive? I’d have to kill myself I’d be so worried about having little spider eggs hatching in my nasal cavities after something like that.” Anyway, she said that didn’t make any sense at all so I think she’s kinda fooling herself.
Disco Godfather! This was Rudy Ray Moore’s follow-up to Dolemite. I haven’t seen either one of them but this trailer features two of my favorite things: poetry and dancing!
Okay, let’s end this edition with a little bit of redhead empowerment with the trailer for Lee Frost’s Police Women.
On a final note, stop mowing your freaking lawn, people! Lisa needs to go out for the weekend!
Through the Shattered Lens 
The Principal is definitely one of my guilty pleasure flicks. It’s like an exploitation version of the very serious Morgan Freeman film “Lean On Me”.
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lol, I have to say that despite being bleh on Jim Belushi (largely as a result of seeing him in commercials for According to Jim over the years), it looks like he gives a fairly okay performance here. And I recognize that “This School is Mine” gangleader from somewhere as well. He looks a little old for a high school student though.
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Well, most of these kinds of “School-as-hell-must-be-saved” flicks have students looking like they belong in junior high and college. They never have any kids of the right age. LOL
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Yeah, evil sisters are the worst.
Regarding the Principal, am I hearing correctly when, at the 0:44 mark, Lou Gossett claims that the students are bringing druids into the school?
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I think he might be saying drugs, but I think it would be much more awesome if he meant druids.
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No. I’m with Erin. That sounds like “Druids” to me. Which would make perfect sense, of you think about it. It’s sad, really. Just another community that doesn’t provide adequate funding to fight Druids, for Druid counseling and rehabilitation, etc. That school district should enlist the aid of the local Druids Task Force, and appoint a Druid Czar.
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Hopefully, at some point, someone in Washington will just have the courage to admit that it’s time to end the war on Druids and legalize them. That said, I’m pretty sure that the man says “drugs,” albiet in the most over-the-top way possible. 🙂
Or, he could have been saying, “Druigs,” a combination of drugs and druids. Perhaps he felt he didn’t have time to mention that both of them were issues so he just combined them into one all-purpose term.
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Yes, yes…I see what you are saying. I suppose the amalgamation “Druigs” is possible.
That would be a real problem, what with the overdoses and tripping, along with the sun dials, human sacrifices, and pesky erectation of giant stone monuments. How could anyone get any learning done in such an environment? And I thought my school was bad. The Halloween dance would probably be a blast, though.
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The main concern would be having to deal with the roving bands of people with messyass hair coming down from Vermont and building random stone circles. You have to deal with them before you can even think about dealing with people on druigs.
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Watching the trailer for Nightmares made me feel my age. I can still remember when we thought that the Bishop of Battle was really high tech stuff. 🙂
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Agreed! LOL
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Always liked that one, especially that Estevez’s gun worked in real time. That walkman on his hip through was huge. 🙂
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Is that what that was? Honestly, I just thought he had a tape recorder hanging on his belt. Seriously, everyone in the early 80s must have had some serious back trouble if they were walking around with those things weighing them down.
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“The years teach much which the days never knew.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson. 😉
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I love your six trailers, Wanda June. Especially “The Giant Spider Invasion” — Bill Rebane is one of my all-time favorite shoestring-budget directors.
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The Great Spider Invasion is one of those trailers that I love just because it stands in such stark contrast with what we would get if one of the major studios decided to make (or remake) The Great Spider Invasion today. If this film were made today, the spiders, of course, would be a CGI creation that would be technically perfect but just wouldn’t have the charm of the gleefully fake spiders used in this trailer.
Of course, if the film were made today, it would also probably be converted into 3-D, would be directed by Michael Bay, and would require ten screenwriters to pound out the story. (And they would still probably end up filming with an unfinished script…)
That’s what I love about films like The Great Spider Invasion and Birdemic (which I am going to review sometime soon, still trying to get my head around that one). If nothing else, these films stand as a testament to what one filmmaker with next to no money can do. 🙂
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I don’t know if CGI spiders wouldn’t have the charm. Perfect example of CGI spiders…giant ones…with so much charm and personalities were the ones for “Eight-Legged Freaks”. 🙂
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I tried to watch Eight-Legged Freaks but then, if I remember correctly, a cat was killed so I took out the DVD and threw it away. 😦 I think, far too often, we forget that dogs kills a lot more people on a daily basis than cats and spiders combined. In fact, you’re more likely to be killed by a rabid dog than by a rabid human.
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I actually saw “The Giant Spider Invasion” at a theater. I don’t remember a whole lot about it, except that the Skipper from “Gilligan’s Island” – Alan Hale = played the Sheriff. The only line of dialogue I remember was Sheriff Skipper saying. “Did you ever see that movie, ‘Jaws’? Well, this makes that look sick.” (Let’s see Bay’s screenwriters come up with a script of that caliber.)
I will say, there were a couple of (as mentioned, non-CGI) scenes where the truly giant spider ate someone, and they were most unpleasant to watch. If you were already creeped out by spiders, this film would not help your situation any.
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I actually did kinda get the impression from the trailer that, though cheap, the spider was at least occasionally effective. 🙂 Of course, to be honest, you can’t go wrong with giant spiders. Seriously, who isn’t scared of spiders?
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