“This is the worst trip ever!”

— Monique (Beverly Lynne) in Hell’s Highway (2002)

It certainly is, Monique!  It certainly is.

Hell’s Highway is a stretch of road that runs through the desolate California desert.  The side of the road is decorated with crosses, each signifying another person who lost her or his life on the road.  There are only a few cars on this lonely stretch of highway.  One car belongs to a serial killer who dresses as a priest.  Another car is being driven by veteran porn actor Ron Jeremy, who ends up getting castrated in close-up.

And then there’s a group of college friends on a road trip.  They drink beer.  They smoke pot.  They occasionally stop to camp out on the side of the road.  And they also pick up a hitchhiker named Lucinda (Phoebe Dollar).

Picking up Lucinda was probably a mistake because, as soon as she gets in the car, she starts talking about how much she enjoys killing people.  She then pulls out a gun and tells them, “My name’s not really Lucinda but it’s close enough.”  The road trippers manage to kick her out of the car and drive away.

But it’s not that easy to get rid of Lucinda!

The next day, they once again come across her hitchhiking.  They run her over and then drive off with her large intestine still wrapped around the back bumper.

And yet, Lucinda continues to reappear!  No matter how many times they destroy her, Lucinda always returns…

Like so many of the films that I’ve reviewed for this October, Hell’s Highway is included in the Decrepit Crypt of Nightmares box set.  Like every other film included in that set, Hell’s Highway is a low-budget, direct-to-video gorefest that doesn’t really waste much time with anything as mundane as plausibility.  And yet, for what it is, Hell’s Highway is actually pretty effective.  Lucinda makes for an effectively creepy villain and all of her victims are so unlikable that you won’t feel too bad when they get killed.

Perhaps best of all, Hell’s Highway ends with one of those out-of-nowhere twists that makes so little sense that it becomes oddly brilliant.  Just when you think the film can’t get any stranger or any more implausible, it goes there.  And it goes there with such conviction that you can’t help but slightly admire it.

Perhaps despite itself, Hell’s Highway works surprisingly well.