Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.4 “Blood For Blood”

Posted on October 28, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bike patrol is busy!

Episode 3.4 “Blood For Blood”

(Dir by Gary Winter, originally aired on August 24th, 1997)

Last week, Pacific Blue attempted to deal with Rave Culture.

This week, it’s Hip Hop Culture!

Rapper Gangster 47 (Ross Leon) is gunned down while leaving a concert. Gangster 47’s daughter (Meagan Good) is convinced that the hit was ordered by Gangster 47’s rival, Trigger Dog (Ten’l Brunson). Now, I will just admit right now that I’m having a hard time writing this review because I can’t type out the name Trigger Dog without laughing. Even though everyone says that Trigger Dog’s feud with Gangster 47 was all for show, Gangster 47’s daughter is determined to shoot Trigger Dog.

Fortunately, noted gangsta rap fan Chris Kelly is on the case. Seriously, Chris is portrayed as being a fan of Gangster 47. Over the course of the previous 38 episodes, we have seen absolutely nothing about the very white and the very uptight Chris that would lead us to believe that Chris would be a fan of anything other than military marches but this episode opens with her rolling her eyes when TC says that rap isn’t real music. Chris tells TC that he needs to realize there’s more to music than the Bee Gees. Ouch! You tell him, Chris. And seriously, take that, Bee Gees! How Deep Is You Love now, huh!?

Chris and TC have been assigned to protect Gangster 47. Why exactly the bike patrol is protecting a celebrity who has been getting death threats — as opposed to real cops and real bodyguards — is never really addressed. Gangster 47’s daughter hates cops. When Gangster 47 is gunned down in a drive-by, it seems like his daughter has a point. Gangster 47 isn’t killed but he is in the hospital.

The show’s producers obviously figured out that it would be a little bit awkward for the show’s almost entirely white cast to be dealing with a case involving two gangsta rappers so we meet a supercool black detective named — I’m not making this up — Wishbone (Derek Morgan). Wishbone mainly exists to clasp hands with TC and to back-up Chris, as if the show is saying, “See? These two aren’t as dorky as they seem. Wishbone likes them!” With Wishbone’s help, they come to realize that Gangster 47 was shot by a white man and Trigger Dog is innocent.

The white man is a serial killer named Strob (Todd Cattrell) who is apparently trying to bring about the Biblical apocalypse by murdering celebrities or something. TC spots him on the beach but, in order to chase after him, he has to get on his bike and this leads to urgent close-up of TC dialing the combination of his bike lock. Hey, TC, if you had a car, you would have already arrested Streob by now!

While this is going on, Victor’s girlfriend, Linda (Vaitiare Hirshon) has witnessed a murder and, if she testifies, she may have to go into the witness protecting program! That’s a big deal but, of course, Palermo acts as if it’s nothing because Palermo never seems to get that people actually have lives outside of whatever he needs at any given moment. Victor doesn’t want to lose Linda. Conveniently, the murderer pulls a gun on Victor, which gives Victor the perfect excuse to gun him down. Palermo’s like, “Did he shoot first?” and Victor says, “Sure.” Victor then asks Linda to marry him.

Personally, I just find it interesting that, with all the crime happening in Santa Wherever This Show Takes Place, it just takes five people on bicycles to catch all the bad guys. I mean, if that works in Santa Monica, maybe it’ll also work in New York after Mamdani is elected. Let’s hope so!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.13 “Outlaw Blues”

Posted on July 29, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, there’s way too much happening on the Boardwalk.

Episode 2.13 “Outlaw Express”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on December 8th, 1996)

Mahmoud (Shaun Toub) is selling cheap jewelry on the boardwalk. He gives Chris a “silver” necklace that makes her neck turn green. Uh-oh, someone’s allergic to tin!

Palermo’s daughter is hanging out with some extreme athletes who are pressuring her to take part in increasingly dangerous pranks on the boardwalk so that they can film them for their web site!

Two criminals are hijacking trucks and then forcing merchants to sell stolen goods! When they see that one truck driver is wearing a tie-dyed t-shirt, they shoot him in the back and then tell him, “Say hi to Jerry for me.” (I’m guessing they were referring to Jerry Garcia and not Jerry Springer but who knows with this show.)

Finally, Victor’s mother is staying at his apartment which means Victor can’t get laid!

Wow, there’s a lot to deal with this week. When a show tries to juggle this many plots, it really does remind you of the importance of having clearly defined and compelling characters. Pacific Blue doesn’t have any of that so this episode kind of sucked. We are 24 episodes into this stupid show and I still can’t tell the difference between Victor, TC, and Palermo whenever they’re riding their bikes. That’s a problem. 24 episodes in and Chris still doesn’t have a personality beyond being annoyed by everyone she talks to. That’s another problem.

(“I didn’t catch your first name Officer Kelly,” Mahmoud says. “Officer,” Chris replies, deploying the power glare.)

Seriously, just think about how much it would suck to be a victim of the crime, call 911, and then have these douchebags show up.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.7 “Line In The Sand”

Posted on June 17, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the beach gets dangerous.

Episode 2.7 “Line In The Sand”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on October 6th, 1996)

There’s a lot going on in this episode, leaving me to wonder if maybe this episode was edited together from two or three other episodes that, for whatever reason, were never aired in their original form. Seriously, it’s an oddly put together episode, with two very dramatic stories and one silly story and absolutely no tonal consistency whatsoever.

A kayaker keeps trying to kayak where he’s not wanted so two surfers beat him up. When the kayaker continues to kayak, the two surfers break into his home and …. put his girlfriend in a coma? Seriously? That seems like an overreaction. How exactly are these two getting away with this? Every episode of Pacific Blue leaves me more and more convinced that bicycle cops are a terrible idea. These surfers aren’t brilliant criminals or anything. Real cops would have been able to stop them.

Even with his girlfriend in a coma, the kayaker continues to kayak. So, the surfers punch out two other guys and steal their jet skis so they can chase the guy. But the kayaker leads them under the pier, which leads to one surfer colliding with a wooden support beam and the washing up on the beach, where he’s promptly arrested by Palermo.

“She woke up,” Palermo explains, referring to the kayaker’s girlfriend. Apparently, this whole thing was just a sting to arrest the surfers but did allowing the surfers to beat up two innocent jet ski owners play into the plan? If the girlfriend woke up and identified them as her attackers, why not just arrest the surfers on the beach instead of making them chase the kayaker?

Yes, it’s good the guy’s girlfriend woke up but consider this. She wouldn’t have been in a coma to begin with if Santa Monica had a real police force. Seriously, how can two surfers cause this much havoc without getting arrested before it reaches the point that they’re breaking into someone’s house and putting his girlfriend into a coma? It is explained that they have a lawyer who represents them free-of-charge in return for surfing lessons. I can’t think of a single lawyer who would do that. Most lawyers need money to pay their bills and stuff.

One of the surfers is named Weed so Palermo got to say, “Hold on, Weed!” at one point. That made me smile.

Meanwhile, a random woman became obsessed with Victor and started painting pictures of him. When Victor rejected her, she tore her clothes and accused him of attempting to rape her. Victor was charged with rape but we never actually saw anyone arrest him. Cory went undercover as Victor’s girlfriend in order to get the woman to attack her. Somehow, this led to the charges against Victor getting dropped, though it didn’t actually do anything to disprove the woman’s claim.

Finally, Elvis — the Pacific Blue mechanic played by David L. Lander — wanted to join a swinger’s club but he was told he would have to bring a woman with him. Elvis asked Chris to accompany him. By this point, Elvis should know that Chris’s character only exists to humiliate people who ask her to do things. Chris isn’t interested in swinging but Elvis continue to look. To be honest, I didn’t even realize that Elvis was still on the show.

This was a dumb episode. Let’s leave it at that.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.4 “Bangers”

Posted on May 13, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Victor gets a plot.

Episode 2.4 “Bangers”

(Dir by Charles Siebert, originally aired on September 14th, 1996)

Victor del Toro, who often doesn’t get to do much on this show, finally gets a storyline of his very own. Unfortunately, it involves trying to keep a young man for his old neighborhood from joining a gang. One thing that you can always count on whenever you watch any sort of cop show from the 90s, if there’s a Latino cop in the cast, he’s going to have to keep someone from joining a gang. It was one of the biggest cliches on the 90s.

And don’t get me wrong. Gangs are a reality in America and they are a problem. At the same time, though, is there a reason why every time a Latino appeared on a show like this, they always seemed to either be in a gang or on the verge of joining a gang? Not every Latino family is poor, not every young Latino male is struggling with the pressure to join a gang, and for that matter, not every Latino with a tattoo is a member of a street gang.

While Victor dealt with the gangs moving into the neighborhood, Chris and Corey decided to rent an apartment together. Needless to say, things didn’t go well. Corey reveals that she is hyperorganized and likes to keep every surface in the apartment clean and spotless. (I don’t really see what that’s a problem.) Chris is revealed to be a slob who hangs her clothes around the kitchen and who pours a box of cereal out on the floor because she’s tired of Corey always cleaning. Isn’t Chris supposed to be a hotshot fighter pilot? I mean, up until this episode, there was absolutely nothing about her character that would suggest that she was incapable of picking up her clothes. I would think that, being a member of the Air Force, she would actually have had some sort of discipline drilled into her. It’s kind of like how soldiers still tend to stand at attention even while visiting their families. Anyway, this storyline ends with Chris throwing food around the apartment and Corey grabbing a pair of scissors and attacking Chris’s laundry …. wait, what? I’m sorry, this is psychotic behavior.

Don’t worry, though. Chris and Corey share a laugh about it and agree to remain friends but not roommates. Uhm, Chris …. Corey took a pair of scissors to your clothes. I mean, I don’t like sloppy people either but I generally don’t try to destroy their possessions.

Of course, the main problem with this episode is the same problem that all of the episodes have had. They’re cops on bikes! They wear shorts and polo shirts and they spend all of their time insisting that they’re real cops even though it’s obvious that they aren’t. Real cops don’t ride bicycles with baskets on the back.

This episode did not leave me with much confidence in California law enforcement.