The TSL’S Daily Horror Grindhouse: Night of the Seagulls (dir by Amando de Ossorio)

Posted on October 7, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Blind Dead returned for a fourth and final time in 1975’s The Night of the Seagulls!

That’s right, Night of the Seagulls was Amando de Ossorio’s final Blind Dead film. After having the Blind Dead somehow turn up on a boat in The Ghost Galleon, Night of the Seagulls returns to the more familiar ground made famous by Tomb of the Blind Dead and Return of the Evil Dead.

That said, it really wouldn’t be a Blind Dead film if there was too much continuity so, once again, we get an entirely new origin story for the Blind Dead. Yes, they’re still undead Templars and yes, they still practiced witchcraft in the 1400s and were executed as a result. But now, the Templars apparently rise from the sea every seven years and, for seven consecutive days, they demand that the local villagers chain a virgin to a rock so that she may be sacrificed.

What I’m wondering if how exactly the villagers figured out that this is what the Blind Dead want. The Blind Dead never speak. In fact, they’re so decayed that if one of them tried to speak, it’s probable that his lower jaw would fall off. So, how do the villagers know that every seven years, they have to offer up seven consecutive virgins?

Who knows? Maybe the Blind Dead are actually just like, “Why do the villagers keep demanding that we kill all of their virgins? We just want to hang out and chill. Oh well, we don’t want to be rude so I guess we better do some killing…”

I mean, seriously, it just seems like this entire problem could have been avoided.

Anyway, there’s a new doctor in town. Dr. Henry Stein (Victor Petit) and his wife, Joan (Maria Kosti), can’t understand why none of the villagers want to talk to them or why the old doctor is so eager to get out of the village. I think some of the problem may have to do with the fact that Henry is one of the angriest doctors that I’ve ever seen. When he first shows up at the village, he demands to know where his house is. When the villagers ignore him, he barges into a bar, grabs one random guy, and tosses him up against the wall. WHERE IS THE HOUSE!? he demands.

Seriously, Doctor, calm down. I wouldn’t go to that guy for checkup. He might get mad and throw something at me if I told him that I occasionally forget to take my ADHD meds. That would be scary.

Since the doctor and his wife are new in town, they don’t really get the whole virgin sacrifice thing. In fact, they attempt to keep one virgin from being sacrificed and this leads to the Blind Dead laying siege on their house. For the most part, it probably would have been better if they had just minded their own business…

Night of the Seagulls can’t really compare to the first two Blind Dead films. It takes a little bit too long to get going and everyone in the movie is pretty unlikable so you really don’t care whether the Blind Dead kill them or not. (At the same time, as opposed to Tomb of the Blind Dead and Return of the Evil Dead, no one is unlikable enough for you to root for the Blind Dead insteaf.) That said, the Blind Dead are still scary and decaying and, after being stuck on that boat all through the previous film, they’re riding horses again! And yes, they ride them in slow motion and yes, it looks freaking badass!

Night of the Seagulls is an okay Spanish horror film. It may not be a perfect send off for the Blind Dead but it’s not terrible either.

6 Trailers On The Way To A 1,000

Posted on July 30, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi. Good morning. I’m sitting here in my beloved Pirates shirt with my hair a big mess and an aggressive kitty trying to dig his claws into my thigh as a sign of affection as I try to complete this thing known as “waking up” but I’m still a happy girl and I’ll tell you why.

First off, we’re only six posts away from hitting that magical 1,000th post. And, once we hit a thousand, Arleigh is going to give us all a 50% raise on our current Shattered Lens salary. Yay! I know I can really use the money as I’m getting ready to go back to school and get my master’s.

Secondly, I’m happy because it’s Saturday! And that means it’s time for 6 more of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers.

1) The 10th Victim (1965)

This trailer is for the Italian satire/sci-fi film The 10th Victim. As this trailer makes clear, the film’s American distributor wasn’t quite sure how to sell this particular film.

2) Chained Heat (1983)

By contrast, the distributors of Chained Heat appear to have known exactly who would be sitting in their audience. Chained Heat has a reputation for being one of the sleaziest of the Women in Prison films and that’s saying something. I actually saw this playing on cable once though I was kinda *ahem* tied up at the time and as such, didn’t pay too much attention to it.

3) Penitentiary (1979)

Continuing on a prison theme, here’s the trailer for Penitentiary. This film was made by Jaama Fanaka, the director of Welcome Home, Brother Charles.

4) Delinquent Schoolgirls (1973)

Yeah, I haven’t actually seen this film but I’m going to guess that the trailer is probably more exploitive than the actual film. This is a classic example of the exploitation tease. Also, this is yet another example of a ’70s trailer that makes me go, “Ewwwwww!” at the sight of a dumpy man running around in his man panties. I mean, seriously — ewwwww, 1970s, ewwww!

5) Manhattan Baby (1982)

The title makes it sound like a second-rate Broadway musical but actually, Manhattan Baby was (along with the far better remember New York Ripper) Lucio Fulci’s follow-up to the brilliant Beyond trilogy. I’ve sat through this film a few times and I’m still not sure why it’s called Manhattan Baby. Maybe Fulci was trying to start a trilogy of New York-themed horror films. Maybe The House By The Bronx was meant to be next…

6) Return of the Evil Dead (1972)

This is the sequel to Armando De Ossorio’s Tombs of the Blind Dead and, arguably, the best of the Blind Dead films.

My Top Ten Books About The Movies

Posted on April 6, 2010 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I love movies and I love books so I guess it would stand to reason that I love books about movies the most of all. (I also love movies about books but there are far fewer of those, unfortunately.) Below are my personal favorites. I’m not necessarily saying that these are the ten greatest film books ever written. I’m just saying that they’re the ones that I’m always happy to know are waiting for me at home.

10) Soon To Be A Major Motion Picture by Theodore Gershuny — This is one of the great finds of mine my life. I found this in a used bookstore and I bought it mostly because it only cost a dollar. Only later did I discover that I had found one of the greatest nonfiction books about the shooting of a movie ever written! Gershuny was present during the filming of a movie called Rosebud in the early 70s. I’ve never seen Rosebud but, as Gershuny admits, it was a critical disaster that managed to lose a ton of money. The book provides a fascinating wealth of backstage gossip as well as memorable portraits of director Otto Preminger and actors Robert Mitchum (who was originally cast in the lead role), Peter O’Toole (who took over after Mitchum walked off the set), and Isabelle Huppert. If nothing else, this book should be read for the scene where O’Toole beats up critic Kenneth Tynan.

9) Suspects by David Thomson — A study of American cinema noir disguised as a novel, Suspects imagines what would happen if George Bailey from It’s a Wonderful Life fell in love with Laura from the movie of the same name. Well, apparently it would lead to Sunset Boulevard’s Norma Desmond having an affair with Chinatown’s Noah Cross and to one of George’s sons, sensitive little Travis, getting a job in New York City as a Taxi Driver. And that’s just a small sampling of what happens in this glorious mindfuck of a novel.

8 ) Profondo Argento by Alan Jones — Long-time fan Alan Jones examines each of Dario Argento’s films (even Argento’s obscure historical comedy The Five Days of Milan) and proceeds to celebrate and (in many cases) defend Argento’s career. Jones also interviews and profiles several of Argento’s most frequent collaborators — Daria Nicolodi, Asia and Fiore Argento, Simon Boswell, Claudio Simonetti, Keith Emerson, George Romero, Lamberto Bava, Michele Soavi, and many others. Jones’ sympathetic yet humorous profile of Luigi Cozzi is priceless.

7) Spaghetti Nightmares by Luca Palmerini — Spaghetti Nightmares is a collection of interviews conducted with such Italian filmmakers as Dario Argento, Ruggero Deodato, Umberto Lenzi, Lucio Fulci, and others. Among the non-Italians interviewed are Tom Savini (who, as always, comes across as appealingly unhinged) and David Warbeck. (Sadly, both Warbeck and Fulci would die shortly after being interviewed.) What makes this interesting is that, for once, Argento, Fulci, et al. are actually being interviewed by a fellow countryman as opposed to an American accompanied by a translator. As such, the subsequent interviews turn out to be some of the most revealing on record.

6) Sleazoid Express by Bill Landis and Michelle Clifford — Landis and Clifford’s book is both a history and a defense of the old grindhouse theaters of New York City. Along with describing, in loving and memorable detail, some of New York’s most infamous grindhouses, they also write about some of the more popular movies to play at each theater. Along the way, they also offer up revealing profiles of such legendary figures as David Hess and Mike and Roberta Findley. Reading this book truly made me mourn the fact that if I ever did find myself in New York City, I won’t be able to hit the old grindhouse circuit.

5) Beyond Terror: The Films of Lucio Fulci by Stephen Thrower — Fulci has always been a terribly underrated director and, indeed, it’s easy to understand because, in many ways, he made movies with the specific aim of alienating and outraging his audience. It requires a brave soul to take Fulci on his own terms and fortunately, Stephen Thrower appears to be one. Along with the expected chapters on Fulci’s Beyond Trilogy and on Zombi 2, Thrower also devotes a lot of space to Fulci’s lesser known works. Did you know, for instance, that before he became the godfather of gore, Fulci specialized in making comedies? Or that he also directed two very popular adaptations of White Fang? Thrower also examines Fulci’s often forgotten westerns as well as his postapocalyptic sci-fi films. And, best of all, Thrower offers up a defense of the infamous New York Ripper that, when I read it, actually forced me to consider that oft-maligned film in a new light. That said, Thrower does admit to being as confused by Manhattan Baby as everyone else.

4) Immoral Tales by Cathal Tohill and Pete Toombs — Tohill and Toombs offer an overview of European “shock” cinema and some of the genre’s better known masters. The book contains perhaps the best critical examination of the work of Jean Rollin ever written. The authors also examine the work of Jesus Franco and several others. This is a great book that reminds us that the Italians aren’t the only ones who can make a great exploitation film.

3) Eaten Alive by Jay Slater — This book offers an overview of the Italian film industry’s legendary cannibal and zombie boom. Along with reviewing every Italian movie to feature even the slightest hint of cannibalism or the living dead (this is one of the few books on Italian cinema that discusses both Pasolini and Lucio Fulci as equals), Eaten Alive also features some very revealing interviews with such iconic figures as Catriona MacColl, Ian McCullough, and especially Giovanni Lombardo Radice. Radice, in fact, also contributes a memorable “guest” review of one of the movies featured in the book. (“What a piece of shit!” the review begins.) Memorable reviews are also contributed by Troma film founder Lloyd Kaufman who brilliantly (and correctly) argues that Cannibal Holocaust is one of the greatest films ever made and Ramsey Campbell who hilariously destroys Umberto Lenzi’s infamous Nightmare City.

2) The Book of the Dead by Jamie Russell — If, like all good people, you love zombies then you simply must do whatever it takes to own a copy of this book. Starting with such early masterpieces as White Zombie and I Walked With A Zombie, Russell proceeds to cover every subsequent zombie film up through George Romero’s Land of the Dead. Russell offers up some of the best commentaries ever written on Romero’s Dead films, Fuci’s Beyond Trilogy, Rollin’s Living Dead Girl, and Spain’s Blind Dead films. The pièce de résistance, however, is an appendix where Russell describes and reviews literally ever zombie film ever made.

1) All The Colors Of the Dark by Tim Lucas — This is it. This is the Holy Grail of All Film Books. If you’ve ever asked yourself if any book is worth paying close to 300 dollars, now you have your answer. This one is. Tim Lucas offers up the most complete biography of director Mario Bava ever written. In fact, this may be the most complete biography of any director ever written! Lucas examines not only Bava’s life but also every single movie that Bava was ever in any way connected to, whether as a director or as a cameraman or as the guy in charge of the special effects. This is 1,128 pages all devoted to nothing but the movies. This is the type of book that makes me thankful to be alive and I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Tim Lucas for writing it.