Ted Noose | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Jonathan and Mark go back to high school, just in time for prom! I went to four proms over the course of my high school years and I loved every one of them. There is no greater American tradition!

Episode 3.17 “A Night To Remember”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on January 28th, 1987)

It’s time for the prom!

Danny (Mitchell Anderson) wants to ask out Melanie (Kimberly MacArthur) but can’t bring himself to do it because he’s feeling insecure about the fact that his father lost his engineering job and is now working at a gas station. Danny makes extra money working at the local pizza joint but he loses his job when he throws a punch at bully Richard Davies (J. Eddie Peck, future star of Lambada).

Sammy (Joel Hoffman) wants to ask his lifelong friend, Kate (Susan Savage). But Sammy feels insecure because he’s short. When he tries to buy lifts to make himself taller, Richard calls him out right when he’s about to ask out Kate. Sammy is an aspiring stand-up comedian and he’s on the verge of dropping out of school all together. “I can be a comedian or a teenager but I can’t be both!”

Don’t worry, though. Jonathan is their new social studies teacher. And Mark is the coach of the girl’s volleyball team because every assignment is designed, in some way, to humiliate Mark. In this case, Mark takes a volleyball to the nose and spends the entire episode worrying that it’s broken. Mark really can’t catch a break (heh) on this show. He has to drive everywhere. He’s usually the one who has to do all of the hard physical work while Jonathan just appears wherever he wants. Unfortunately, there doesn’t appear to be a union for human angel helpers but then again, it’s not like Mark ever seems to get paid for all of his hard work.

Anyway, the stakes aren’t particularly high in this episode. Both Danny and Sammy eventually find the courage to ask their dates to the prom, though Danny doesn’t do it until he’s actually at the prom. And both of them take some time to tell off Richard. “Still wearing your mother’s underwear?” Sammy asks and Richard turns a dark shade of red as if Sammy has accidentally guessed his greatest secret.

I actually always like these episodes where Jonathan and Mark become teachers. They’re not as depressing as the ones where they end up working at a shelter or a retirement home. This episode was just about giving the students the best prom ever and that’s okay. Not everything needs to be a huge drama! Sometimes, you just need a night to remember.

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, someone dies! OH MY GOD!

Episode 3.5 “Death Watch”

(Dir by Barry Crane, originally aired on October 13th, 1979)

Dennis (Christopher Stone) is a veteran movie stunt driver who has never gotten over the tragic death of his child and the way he was treated by a heartless insurance company. He now drives up and down the freeway, looking for drivers who look like they have good insurance. Using his stunt skills, he causes accidents and then, under one of many assumed names, he files an insurance claim. Dennis’s wife (played by Dee Wallace, who was married to Stone at the time) thinks that Dennis is taking things too far but Dennis is convinced that he’s earned the right to commit insurance fraud. As he puts it, the companies have enough money that it’s not going to hurt them if he steals some of it.

Unfortunately, his latest attempt to cause an accident results in a delivery van swerving to the side of the road and striking two policemen who have pulled over a drunk driver. One of the policeman is series regular Bear (played by Brodie Greer). The other is a guy named Steve (Stephen Parr) who we’ve never seen before but who is quickly established as being everyone’s best friend. Or, I guess, he was everyone’s best friend as he dies shortly after being taken to the hospital. I have to admit that Steve dying was a bit jarring. It’s rare that anyone on CHiPs is seriously injured, much less killed.

The highway patrol officers are shaken by Steve’s death. Ponch and Baker go to the station’s gym and work off their frustration. Jon lifts weights. Ponch takes off his shirt and starts hitting a punching bag and, despite the tragedy of the situation, it was hard not to laugh at the show using it as an excuse for Erik Estrada to once again take off his shirt.

The members of the highway patrol attend Steve’s funeral. It’s pretty somber until Bear rolls into the church in his wheelchair and everyone breaks out into a huge smile. They’re happy that Bear survived but I do have to wonder how Steve’s family felt when they saw all those smiles and heard the officers joking amongst themselves. I guess they should have been happy that Ponch actually wore pants and a shirt to the funeral as opposed to showing up in a speedo. Seriously, if anyone would do that, it would be Ponch.

All of the bad drivers are brought to justice. The driver of the delivery van loses his job. Dennis goes to prison. By the end of the episode, everyone’s in a good mood again. Rest in peace, Steve!

This episode deserves some credit for trying to deal with a serious issue. Death is a big deal. Unfortunately, CHiPs really isn’t the best format for heart-rendering drama. Even after Steve was killed, the show still teased the audience with the promise of another crash. In the end, the main message seemed to be that it was better to lose Steve than Bear …. or, God forbid, Ponch!