The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: Sharktopus (dir by Declan O’Brien)


Half Shark….

Half Octopus….

All Man!

No, wait a minute.  That’s not right.  Let’s try that again.

Half Shark….

Half Octopus….

All Killer!

There, that’s it!  That’s our Sharktopus!

Produced by the legendary Roger Corman, Sharktopus originally aired on the SyFy channel in 2010.  It tells the story of S-11, a creature that is half-shark and half-octopus.  How exactly did S-11 come to exist?  Well, blame the government!  The government wanted a new weapon and apparently, it didn’t bother them that the weapon would have no practical use beyond going rogue and killing civilians.  Dr. Nathan Sands (Eric Roberts, the one and only) created the sharktopus with the help of his daughter, Nicole (Sara Malakul Lane).  When S-11 swims off on its own and starts eating human beachgoers, Nicole teams up with mercenary Andy Flynn (Kerem Bursin).  Nicole and Andy think that they’ve been sent to destroy S-11 but it turns out that Nathan has other plans.

Let’s just state the obvious.  This is the greatest film ever made.  Okay, well …. maybe it’s not the greatest.  Some people would probably say that it’s not even that good but I think they’re overthinking things.  What it comes down to is that there really aren’t as many films out there about shark/octopus hybrids as you might think.  When it comes to this very specific genre of horror films, Sharktopus is the best.

This is a film that understands why the audience is watching.  We’re watching because we want to see Sharktopus action!  So, while the film does contain its fair share of scenes of Nicole and Andy searching the ocean, the majority of the film is still made up of Sharktopus attacks.  You don’t really get to know any of the victims, though I did feel bad for the gentleman who shouted, “Oh no!  Not like this!” as he was pulled down to the ocean by S-11’s tentacles, but that’s okay.  It’s all about the Sharktopus, a creature that is so ludicrous that it’s impossible not to like it.

Another thing that’s impossible not to like is the fact that Eric Roberts is in this film.  The last time I checked, Roberts had a total of 641 acting credits listed on the imdb.  He’s appeared in every type of films — from Oscar-nominated prestige films to low-budget faith-based films to Lifetime films to …. well, films like Sharktopus.  But regardless of the film, Roberts always seems to be trying his best or, at the very least, he comes across like he’s genuinely amused by the absurdity of it all.  Roberts has a lot of fun in Sharktopus, playing his mad scientist character with a twinkle in his eye and a barely suppressed evil smile.  Dr. Sands takes genuine pride in his creation and it’s kind of hard not to get caught up in his enthusiasm.

Sharktopus is a fun movie.  It’s a low-budget and deeply silly epic and it you can’t enjoy the sight of shark/octopus hybrid creeping across the beach than I don’t know what to tell you.  In fact, Sharktopus was popular enough with SyFy audiences that it would return for a whole series of films in which it battled hybrid monsters.  Go Sharktopus!

On a final note, keep an eye out for Roger Corman while watching this film.  He plays a man on the beach who watches as a treasure seeker is dragged off to the ocean.  When he realizes that she dropped a valuable coin while being taken away, Corman walks out on the beach and grabs it for himself.  Hopefully, he sold that coin and used the money to go on a nice vacation.  If anyone’s earned it, it’s Roger Corman!

 

Horror Scenes That I Love: “Oh No! Not Like This!” from Sharktopus


Today’s horror scene that I love (and the inaugural entry in this year’s collection of Horrothon scenes) comes from the 2010 film, Sharktopus!  And here it is:

A lot of people have made fun of this scene over the years but put yourself in the shoes of this unfortunate painter.  Here you are.  You’re just doing your job.  You’re painting the side of a boat.  It’s not glamorous work.  It probably doesn’t pay very well.  But you’re doing your best and you’re collecting a paycheck and you’re taking care of your family.  It hasn’t always been easy.  When you first got out of prison, you never thought you’d be able to find a job.  Everyone wanted to do a background check.  Your parole officer kept busting your ass.  You were tempted to go back into a life of crime.  You kept thinking about the old crew and wondering if they were still hanging out on the street corners, murking and doing time.  But then the boat painting people said, “We know you’ve had some problems.  But you’re damn good with a paint brush.”

And then suddenly, this happens.  You wanted to die surrounded by your family.  You want your last words to be, “I did okay, didn’t I?”  Instead, you’re getting grabbed by an shark/octopus hybrid.  Who wants to die that way?  “Oh no!  Not like this!” is one of the most honest lines in the history of horror cinema.  It perfectly captures the existential dread that one undoubtedly feels while being pulled into the ocean by a sharktopus.

Bravo, Sharktopus.  Bravo.

6 Trailers That Are Better Than Sharknado


Hi, everyone!  The Trailer Kitties decided to take this week off but luckily, they found a replacement to go out and put together another edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Film trailers.  

This week, we present you with 6 trailers for 6 films that are better than Sharknado.

1) 2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)

2) Swamp Shark (2011)

3) Sharktopus (2010)

4) Dinocroc Vs. Supergator (2010)

5) Dinocroc (2004)

6) Crocodile 2 (2002)

What do you think, Trailer Amphibian?