Ryan Carnes | Through the Shattered Lens

When one of your in-laws is a psycho, it’s going to lead to some tense family gatherings. There’s just no way to get around it. Have you seen those Vrylar commercials where people are screaming at random strangers or the mother is locked away in the kitchen and sobbing all the way through her daughter’s birthday party? Well, that’s nothing compared to what it’s like to have a murderer drop by a wedding, a reunion, or even a funeral.

From the start of Psycho Sister-in-Law, we know that Zara Downes (Lydia Hearst) is not the ideal in-law. This is largely due to the seeing Zara murder a woman in Las Vegas. Now, admittedly, the woman that Zara murdered was kind of mean and she was keeping Zara from finding success as an actress but it’s 2020 and there are other ways to deal with an annoying co-worker. Murder is never the answer!

Zara, of course, claims that she has had a difficult life. Her father was very rich man but Zara grew up without him. Instead, he gave most of his attention and affection to his son, Nick (Brando Eaton) and his fiancée, Callie (Diora Baird). That’s largely due to the fact that Zara was the result of an affair that he had while married to Nick’s mother. Still, when Mr. Downes dies, Zara is invited to the reading of the will.

When the will is read, Zara is annoyed to discover that she’s inherited less than both Callie and Nick. So, Zara sets out to ingratiate herself with Nick and his pregnant wife, Haley (Andrea Bowen). Zara also goes out of her way to try to upset Callie. When Nick says that he’s considering giving their father’s mansion to Callie, Zara puts her evil plans into overdrive.

And really, who can blame her? It’s a really nice house! I mean, I know I say that about almost every Lifetime film but Psycho Sister-In-Law really does feature one of the nicest mansions that I’ve ever seen. Obviously, I don’t want to compare myself to Zara because she does kill a few people over the course of the movie but still, I’m not totally sure that I wouldn’t go a little bit crazy over that house myself.

Most Lifetime films do require a certain suspension of disbelief. That’s something that we’ve all come to accept about the Lifetime genre and I’m certainly not going to complain about it. The fact that people in these movies often make stupid mistakes is one of the things that make them so entertaining. (And before we get too judgmental regarding fictional characters, who among us hasn’t made a stupid mistake or two?) That said, Psycho Sister-In-Law really stretches that suspension of disbelief to its breaking point. I mean, it’s nice that Haley wants everyone to get along but, at some point, you really do have to be willing to put your foot down and say, “Hey, if you’re obviously plotting on killing everyone in the house, you’re going to have to leave.” Zara’s villainy was so obvious that you really did have to wonder if Haley and Nick were just being intentionally blind to it.

That said, the melodrama is certainly embraced and the house is really nice. There’s a neat and unexpected twist towards the end of the movie and Lydia Hearst appears to be having a blast playing her murderous role. It’s a fun movie, even if Nick and Haley’s naiveté will have you rolling your eyes until you’re dizzy.

There are a few lessons that I’ve learned from Lifetime movies in general and the film Mommy Group Murder in specific.

First off, don’t live in the suburbs. Like, seriously, don’t do it. Yes, the houses are big and everyone’s got a nice lawn and there’s always some hot guy working shirtless across the street from you. Yes, it may seem like a nice and fun place to live but don’t be fooled. You want to know why all those pretty and handsome people are living in the suburbs? Because they’ve all got something to hide! The minute they see you and your sensitive husband and your baby moving into the big, white house next door, they’re going to start plotting against you. Next thing you know, strangers will be putting cameras in your house and having sex on your kitchen counters and you’ll be hearing weird noises at all hours of the night.

(Of course, I already live in the suburbs so I’m learning this lesson a bit too late. Admittedly, my suburban neighborhood seems to be a bit safer than the average Lifetime suburban neighbor. I have yet to find any hidden cameras in the house and the kitchen counters are thoroughly cleaned every day.)

Lesson number two: no matter how appealing the mysterious mansion next door might look, resist the temptation to break in and look around. In fact, for that matter, don’t even accept an invitation to visit. Nothing good ever happens in those mansions. There’s always either a dead body hidden in an ice chest or someone chained up in the basement. Once you discover something like that, you’re pretty much required by law to get involved and go to the police. So, seriously, think before you invade.

Lesson number three: You know that person who shows up out of nowhere and suddenly wants to be your new best friend? DON’T TRUST THEM! When all of your old friends or your husband says that they think there’s something strange about your new BFF, LISTEN! And when you discover that your new best friend is using an alias, ask yourself why. Don’t just shrug and say, “Well, she just changed her name. Big deal.”

Finally, lesson number four — and this is one that was specifically driven home by this movie: Don’t join a mommy group! Sure, it’s tempting. I mean, you’re suffering from crippling depression. You’re having nightmares about someone trying to kidnap your baby. Your new best friend suggests that maybe you need to join a mommy group so that you can talk about all of this with people who actually understand what you’re going through. It seems like a great idea but, if Lifetime has taught us anything, it’s that these mommy groups always lead to secrets, lies, and murder!

That’s what Natalie (Leah Pipes) discovers after she befriends the mysterious Grace (Helena Mattsson). Natalie and Grace are the center of Mommy Group Murder, a film which aired on Lifetime back in March.

Plotwise, Mommy Group Murder may seem like a typical Lifetime film. Suburbs, adultery, murder, and a best friend that no one listens to until it’s too late, it’s all here! However, Mommy Group Murder also features a wonderfully nuanced performance from Leah Pipes and a few twists and turns that take the movie to a slightly darker place than the average Lifetime film. Director Nick Everhart emphasizes the darkness at the heart of the film’s story, opening with a harrowing montage of Natalie struggling to bond with her daughter and ending with a shadowy sequence that has as much in common with a horror film as a Lifetime film.

Mommy Group Murder is a nicely done, melodramatic thriller. Watch it and learn.