Rob Mayes | Through the Shattered Lens

So, put yourself in the shoes of Megan (Samaire Armstrong).

You had a wonderful husband. You had a young child. You were out driving one day and, because you took your eyes off the road, you ended up having a head-on collision with another vehicle. You survived. Your husband did not. Your child is dead. What do you do?

Well, Megan decides to check herself into a mental hospital and it’s there that she stays for the next four years. Because she checked herself in, she can also check herself out. Eventually, she decides to do just that. Her doctor thinks that Megan isn’t ready to reenter society but Megan is determined to return to her hometown and reunite with her brother.

Her brother, Greg, lives in a house on a hill that overlooks the ocean. It’s a big house that towers over the otherwise dead end small town below. As Duke (Rob Mayes), the local bartender puts it, it doesn’t look like it belongs in the town. Greg has lived in the house since the death of his and Megan’s parents but when Megan arrives, Greg is nowhere to be found!

When Mega asks around town, everyone insists that they’ve never heard of this mysterious Greg. At first, Megan thinks that it might be because Greg was always a bit of a recluse. But, as the days drags on and she can still find no sign of her bother, Megan starts to think that something has happened to Greg. Could it be a conspiracy or could it all be coincidence?

Or ….. is it possible that Megan never had a brother to begin with!? That’s certainly what the unhelpful sheriff (Bart Johnson) seems to think. In fact, the only person who seems to have any faith in Megan is Duke but Duke has a shady history of his own. Duke not only is a former burglar but he has plans that require more money than he probably possesses. Is Duke to be trusted or is he lying about what he knows?

And who put that rattlesnake in Megan’s car!?

Yes, the plot of He’s Out To Get You raises a lot of questions. They’re all answered and some of the answers are more satisfactory than others. This is one of those films that sets up an intriguing mystery but which doesn’t quite come up with a satisfying solution. To be honest, though, none of that really matters because — OH MY GOD, THE HOUSE IS FREAKING GORGEOUS!

I have often stated on this site that one of the main things that I love about Lifetime films is seeing the huge houses in which they take place. I mean, Lifetime has featured a lot of truly stunning homes. But I don’t know if Lifetime has ever featured house quite as impressive as the one in He’s Out To Get You. Seriously, this house is huge and it’s tastefully decorated and it has a nice pool and, most importantly, the view is absolutely to die for! Would I kill to own that house? Well, maybe not quite but I’d definitely consider it.

As for the rest of the film, it’s well-acted and the villains are properly hissable. I liked Duke, the morally ambiguous bartender and I thought Rob Mayes did a great job with the role. That said, the house is definitely the star.

Seriously, it’s beautiful.

So, today was the first day of SyFy’s final Sharknado week. Leading up to next Sunday’s premiere of The Last Sharknado, SyFy is not only going to be rebroadcasting some of their classic shark films but they’re also going to be premiering a new film every night of the week.

(I’m in Killer Shark Heaven! Yes, the real one…)

They got things started tonight with Deep Blue Sea 2.

Now, before anything else, I should clarify that Deep Blue Sea 2 made its television premiere tonight but the movie itself has actually been out for a while. As opposed to the Sharknado films, Deep Blue Sea 2 was not specifically produced for or by the SyFy Network. Instead, the production honors go to Warner Bros, the same company that distributed the first Deep Blue Sea. Way back in April, Deep Blue Sea 2 was released on Blu-ray, DVD, Digital HD, and VOD and it actually did quite well for a straight-to-video release. There were enough fans of the original film that the sequel was able to rank in the top 10 of VOD releases for two straight weeks.

So, Deep Blue Sea 2 was not produced by the Asylum. Perhaps it would have been better if it had been.

Deep Blue Sea 2 retells the basic story of Deep Blue Sea, just on a much smaller level. Whereas Deep Blue Sea featured an army of big, scary sharks, the sequel features one really big shark and a bunch of baby sharks, all of which are cute but deadly. Whereas the first film was distinguished by detailed set design that gave the underwater laboratory a lived-in feel, the sequel features a lab that is frequently so dark and underlit that I often had a hard time distinguishing one actor from another. Whereas the first film features recognizable actors like Samuel L. Jackson and Stellan Skarsgard getting eaten by sharks, the sequel features a cast that, with the exception of Michael Beach, is largely unknown.

And while the entire cast is undeniably talented and does the best that they can with what they’ve been given to work with, everyone in the film is playing a type. Michael Beach is Durant, the pharmaceutical billionaire who, despite what happened in the first film, is breeding super intelligent sharks and drinking their blood. (You read that right.) Danielle Savre is Misty Calhoun, the shark conservationist who thinks that mankind is to blame for all the troubles in the world. Rob Mayes is Trent Slater, the Navy SEAL who knows how to fight sharks. Nathan Lynn is Aaron, the nerdy virgin computer guy. Kim Syster and Jeremy Jess Boado are the obviously doomed married couple. Darron Myer is the guy who you know is going to die as soon as you notice that he doesn’t take off his tie, even when he’s in an underwater lab. And then you have Cameron Robertson as the guy who sticks his arm down a shark’s throat and Adrian Collins as the diver who thinks it’s a good idea to taunt sharks that can literally jump out of the water and bite your head off.

Of course, as soon as everyone’s in the lab, the super smart sharks rebel and the majority of the cast ends up getting eaten. There’s no big shock there. Some of the gore effects are well-done. Faces are ripped off with panache and one unfortunate victim falls apart as soon as he’s pulled out of the water. Michael Beach has a lot of fun with the role of the ranting Durant and it was impossible not to smile whenever he would smirk off Misty’s outrage. For the most part, though, Deep Blue Sea 2 moved too slowly and didn’t feature enough shark action. That said, I think this is the first shark film that I’ve ever seen in which the sharks actually growl at people and that’s got to be worth something.