Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.12 “Home Fires Burning”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

It’s arson and basketball on CHiPs!

Episode 4.12 “Home Fires Burning”

(Dir by Charles Bail, originally aired on February 1st, 1981)

Two arsonists (David Hayward and Michael Cavanugh) are setting RVs on fire as a part of an insurance scam.  One man (Jack Kruschen) who hires the arsonists is horrified when their carelessness leads to a security guard getting seriously injured.  If the guard dies, the man is looking at serious jail time!  (Luckily, the guard doesn’t die and apparently, everyone just forgets about sending his boss to jail.)

Luckily, Baker is there to help track the arsonists down.  Ponch, on the other hand, is busy putting together a Highway Patrol basketball team.  It’s hard not to notice how much time the Highway Patrol spends on stuff like basketball, dirt bike competitions, and drag car racing.  Somehow, Ponch has gone from being the department’s screw-up to now being the guy who is automatically given all of the responsibility.  It’s the Ponch Show and everyone knows it.

This episode was directed by veteran stuntman Charles Bail and it does have some spectacular stunts.  (A car jumping through an exploding RV was my favorite.)  And let’s be honest.  I could sit here and spend hours talking about CHiPs became the Ponch Show during the fourth season and how the rest of the cast was underutilized.  And I would be totally correct.  But the stunts and the car crashes are the main appeal of this show and this episode featured several examples of each.

As such, this was a good episode.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.11 “11-99: Officer Needs Help”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch fixes everything.

Episode 4.11 “11-99: Officer Need Help”

(Dir by Phil Bondelli, originally aired on January 18th, 1981)

Three criminals are stealing trucks from a trucking company.  One of the criminals works for the company but he gets fired, not for his thievery but because he accidentally put a cate of corrosive chemicals on the wrong truck.  Now, the highway patrol has to track down the chemicals and also stop the criminals.

It’s a typical episode of CHiPs.  A man loses his job after he’s wrongly accused of being the thief.  The man’s son (Greg Bradford) helps Jon and Ponch catch the real criminals.  There’s a subplot about all of the members of the high patrol carrying a new device that sends out of a signal whenever an officer’s down.  Grossman accidentally pushes the button while chasing a lost dog.  The emphasis here is on everyone working together and the Highway Patrol going out of their way to always have the best equipment to do their job.  In the end, this is such a typical episode that the whole thing is kind of boring.

Really, for me, the only interesting thing about this episode is that it featured a subplot about a new police dispatcher who spoke with a stammer and who had trouble sending out instructions over the radio.  I had a lot of sympathy for Kathie Lark (Katherine Moffat) because I had a pretty pronounced stammer up until I was about twelve years old.  (It now only comes out if I’m extremely tired or stressed.)  That said, considering just how important the dispatchers are when it comes to the Highway Patrol, I was a bit surprised that Kathie got the job in the first place.  Kathie mentioned that she had previously been a dispatcher in a small town and again, I wondered how she got that job.  To me, it seemed like the Highway Patrol was basically setting Kathie up for failure.

The good thing is that eventually someone gives Kathie some advice that helps her to overcome her nervousness and become an excellent dispatcher.  Do you want to guess who gave her the advice?  Seriously, I dare you to guess who, out of the show’s cast of characters, magically knew exactly the right thing to say to help Kathie out.  If you’re thinking that Ponch was responsible for Kathie becoming a badass on the airwaves, you are exactly right!  Is there no problem that Ponch can’t solve?  Ponch’s advice, by the way, was that Kathie should always imagine that she was speaking directly to him.  The next time that I find myself tripping over a word that starts with B, I’ll try the same thing.

It’s the Ponch Show!  Seriously, there’s nothing that Ponch can’t do!  Beyond that, this was a boring episode.  The California scenery was nice to look at but otherwise, this episode felt like CHiPs on autopilot.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.10 “Forty Tons Of Trouble”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, two sets of thieves cause trouble!

Episode 4.10 “Forty Tons Of Trouble”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on January 11th, 1981)

A group of criminals is stealing equipment from construction sites and selling it on the black market.  An attempt to steal a loader leads to it rolling down a Los Angeles street until Baker is able to jump onto it and crash it into a (hopefully) abandoned building.  Getraer points out that Baker just destroyed a building.  Baker shrugs and says he’s always wanted to do that.

A different group of criminals is stealing parts for their drag racer.  The CHiPs have their own car entered into the drag races.  Of course, it’s driven by Ponch.

After two accidents on the highway and several chases, Baker and Ponch (but mostly Ponch) capture the bad guys.  Paula Kohl (Mary Louise Weller), the owner of Kohl Construction, appreciates the efforts of Baker and Ponch (but mostly Ponch).

In other words, this was a typical episode of CHiPs.  Still, it’s memorable because of the supporting cast.  Amongst the construction site thieves is Robert Englund.  Englund thinks that Sarge (Taylor Lacher) is taking to many risks when it comes to trying to steal loaders and bulldozers but Sarge is like, “I got it under control.”  Meanwhile, amongst the drag race thieves, is Chris Mulkey.  Mulkey doesn’t get to do much but he does get two scenes where he smirks at Ponch.  Sadly, both characters end up getting arrested during this episode but have no fear.  Robert Englund went on to play Freddy Krueger.  Chris Mulkey went on to play the sleazy but strangely likable Hank Jennings on Twin Peaks.

As for the rest of the episode — hey, I don’t ask for much from CHiPs.  As long as there’s a good crash scene and a lot of cool cars, I’m happy.  This episode delivered.  One could ask why Ponch is always the one who gets to do the cool things, like driving in the race and taking Paula out on a fancy date.  Earlier seasons usually tried to portray Ponch and Baker as being equals.  This season, though, has clearly been The Ponch Show.  It’s a legitimate criticism but …. eh.  Sometimes, you just want to watch a chase or two.

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.9 “Crash Course”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

A recently released thief and a bank error are no match for the smiley charisma of Erik Estrada!

Episode 4.9 “Crash Course”

(Dir by Phil Bondelli, originally aired on January 4th, 1981)

Former getaway driver Sonny Matson (Don Stroud) has just been released from prison and he’s fallen back into his old habits.  Everyday, he steals a different car and then robs a different business.  His crimes are getting progressively more bold and Baker is determined to catch him.

Meanwhile, Ponch notices that he has an extra $4,000 in his bank account.  Trying to do the right thing, Ponch reports the discrepancy.  The bank accidentally drains all the money from his account.  With his checks bouncing all over town, Ponch tries to get the bank fix their error.  Good luck with that, Ponch!  Luckily, when one of Sonny’s associates tries to rob the bank, it gives Ponch a chance to play the hero….

It’s The Ponch Show!  Baker may be the one with a personal stake in capturing Sonny but Ponch is the one with big grin and the majority of this episode’s screentime.  Whether he’s thwarting a bank robbery or recruiting all of his co-workers to help him find proof of the bank’s error, Ponch dominates.  Poor Baker.

The best thing about this episode was Don Stroud’s performance as Sonny Matson.  Stroud played a lot of low-level criminals over the course of his career.  With his quick but unfriendly smile, his paranoid eyes, and his cocky attitude, Stroud is actually rather intimidating as Sonny.  Whenever Stroud is onscreen, CHiPs actually feels a little bit dangerous!  That this episode was memorable was largely due to Don Stroud and the hideous 70s decor of Ponch’s bank.  Tacky and dangerous, that’s our CHiPs!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.8 “Wheels of Justice”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, not Ponch can smile his way out of the darkness.

Episode 4.8 “Wheels of Justice”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on December 21st, 1980)

The streets of Los Angeles are dangerous in this week’s episode.

Stan West (Basil Hoffman) is a reckless driver who is constantly causing accidents by driving too fast and making unsafe lane changes.  He gets away with it because he keeps changing his name.

Arthur Holmes (Joshua Bryant) is a drunk who Jon and Ponch have pulled over several times.  Arthur gets away with it by claiming, after every accident, that his wife was the one driving,  Denise (Christine Belford) goes along with it, even though she hates the fact that she’s enabling her husband.

A group of cheerleaders drive around and do their cheers while driving!

Finally, a gas leak at the hospital leads to all the newborn babies being loaded into an ambulance for transport.  When the ambulance is side-swiped by Stan, the babies end up at the station.  Getraer gives everyone a lesson on how to properly soothe a crying baby.  It’s cute but it’s also so manipulative that it leaves you feeling oddly used.  But, hey, at least it’s cute!

This episode of CHiPs took a serious turn towards the end when the drunk driver swerved to avoid the cheerleaders and the end result is that his wife was thrown from the car and killed.  When the car was shown crashing in slow motion, the wife’s mannequin actually fell out of the car.  While I imagine that was probably not planned, it still created a memorably macabre image.  In the end, Arthur ends up sobbing while Denise lies dead just a few feet away from him.  That’s a pretty dark ending for an episode of CHiPs.  Not even a quick scene of the officers holding the babies could change the fact that this was a really downbeat episode.

And you know what?  There’s nothing wrong with that.  Driving drunk is selfish, stupid, and dangerous and CHiPs deserves some credit for not holding back.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.7 “Satan’s Angels”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Bonnie is taken hostage!  It’s good thing Ponch exists because you know no one else on this show is going to able to rescue her.

Episode 4.7 “Satan’s Angels”

(Dir by Phil Bondelli, originally aired on December 14th, 1980)

When confronting a group of outlaw bikers who are harrassing a teenager (Heather Locklear, in her screen debut), Bonnie is kidnapped!  Reno (John Quade) manages to snap her own handcuffs on her wrists and then drags her to a cabin owned by Stan (William Smith) and his wife (Candice Azzara).

Can the Highway Patrol find the cabin?  The cabin is in the mountains it might not be easy to locate.  It’s a good thing that Ponch and Jon just happen have those motorized hang gliders!   It’s California living to the rescue!  Needless to say, Ponch and Jon (but mostly Ponch) are able to swoop in for the rescue.

This episode didn’t do much for me but then again, episodes about hostage situations rarely do.  Once a character is taken hostage, it pretty much causes the action to slow down to a crawl.  There’s only so many times you can listen to someone being told not to even think about escaping before it gets kind of boring.  This episode did feature the great villainous character actor, William Smith.  It had that going for it.  But, otherwise, the episode itself moved very slowly and it didn’t help that Bonnie herself was required to make a lot of very stupid mistakes so that she could be kidnapped in the first place.  When a show’s storyline depends on a previous competent person suddenly being amazing incompetent, it’s an issue.

This episode’s b-plot featured Getraer’s very pregnant wife continually going the hospital, just to discover it was a false alarm.  Getraer’s wife was played Gwynne Gilford who was (and is) married to Robert Pine.  Their son, Chris Pine, was born a few months before this episode aired.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.5 and 4.6 “The Great 5K Star Race and Boulder Wrap Party”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, we have a two-hour episode of CHiPs!

Episodes 4.5 and 4.6 “The Great 5K Star Race and Boulder Wrap Party”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on December 7th, 1980)

There’s a big boulder sitting on a mountain and it’s threatening to roll down onto the highway, where it could not only damage cars but also destroy the home of comedian Milton Berle.  Berle calls the cops and generally gets annoyed with everyone who comes by his house.  They all want to make jokes while the boulder hangs over him like death from above.  I would be annoyed as well!

Ponch and Baker arrange for a demolition crew to come in and try to destroy the boulder.  As Ponch is also in charge of the annual CHP charity fundraiser, Ponch recruits Berle to be a part of it.  Ponch wants a bunch of celebs to take part in a bicycle race.  Berle motions with his cigar and says he’ll play touch football instead.

This two-part episode attempts to recapture the fun of the previous season’s Roller Disco.  A lot of celebrities show up for the fundraiser and Harlan provides a breathless commentary that basically amounts to continually repeating, “There’s George Peppard talking to Johnnie Ray!  Nancy Kulp’s standing in a doorway!  There’s Robert Mandan!  Conrad Bain’s wearing an ascot!  Look at Todd Bridges get down!”  It’s not as much fun this time because there’s no roller skating and there’s no disco music.  Instead, it’s celebs playing the type of dreary games that high schools and church youth groups have used for years to build up team work.  You know that terrible game where people try to move an orange down a line without using their hands?  They play that game.  (My speech and debate coach had us play the game at a sleepover and I’ll just say that having an orange fall into your cleavage is not as much fun as it sounds, especially when you’re the only girl standing in the line.)  An ascot-wearing Conrad Bain runs around in circles while balancing a wine bottle on a tray.  The crowd loves it but I think it would be kind of boring to watch.  There’s also a dunking booth so that the celebrities can send the members of the CHP into a tub of water.  Baker does not participate but Ponch does and you better believe he flashes the biggest smile in the world after he goes down.

There are some other storylines going on, of course.  Alex Rocco and Ken Berry are two racers who supplement their income by robbing homes and trucks.  There’s a freeway pileup that features some slow motion car jumps.  Hey, that truck has “EXPLOSIVES” written on it!  Do you think it will explode!?  Baker helps a kid who needs better parents.  It’s typical CHiPs stuff but the majority of the episode is just a collection of television actors participating in silly games.  “There’s Marcia Wallace talking to Chuck Woolery, having a good time!”  It needed more disco.

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.4 “The Poachers”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch brings us all closer together.

Episode 4.4 “The Poachers”

(Dir by Barry Crane, originally aired on October 19th, 1980)

In the beautiful hills surrounding Los Angeles, Jon and Ponch (but mostly Ponch because, as of the start of season four, this is The Ponch Show) pursue two poachers (Robert F. Lyons and Michael Gwynne).  However, Ponch is not the only one after the poachers.  A Native American grandfather named Nathan (Michael Ansara) is in the hills with his grandson (Tony Raymond) and, together, they shoot arrows at the poachers.

Hey, that’s attempted murder!

Well, no matter.  No one like poachers, least of all me.

While Ponch captures the poachers and befriends the grandfather, the rest of the Highway Patrol spend their time at the drag strip and try to win races and set records.  Ponch insists that he should be the one allowed to represent the force on the track and he’s probably right because he’s Ponch and this is The Ponch Show.  Instead, Sgt. Getraer — who technically outranks Ponch but who knows how long that will last — takes to the track himself and amazes everyone with his speed.  Woo hoo!  Meanwhile, poor Baker stands in the background and perhaps remembers how, when the show started, he actually got to do stuff other than follow Ponch around.

This episode was nothing special.  It was well-intentioned with its anti-poaching storyline but it also featured even more cliches than usual.  Michael Ansara was himself not Native American.  He was born in Syria.  The actors who played his son and his grandfather were also not Native American, at least not as far as I could detect from their IMDb profiles.  In short, this was an episode about the wisdom of Native Americans that doesn’t appear to have featured any actual Native Americans.

All that said, it was nice to Robert Pine get to have some fun with the role of Sgt. Getrear.  Pine’s tough-but-fair performance as Getraer has often been this show’s secret weapon and, in this episode, he at least got to smile for once.  He earned it!

Late Night Retro Television Review: ChiPs 4.2 “Sick Leave”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, death comes to California.

Episode 4.2 “Sick Leave”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on September 28th, 1980)

Andy (Robert Viharo) is a veteran member of the highway patrol who, when he’s not chasing down bad guys, is a student at the the local college.  He wants to become an archeologist and go to Peru.  Unfortunately, Andy has a brain lesion and may not get the chance.  His behavior is erratic.  His vision is failing.  He refuses to admit that there’s anything wrong.  Can Ponch and Jon get him off the street before he gets someone killed?  Andy says that if he wants to die, he wants to go out saving someone’s life and not sitting behind a desk.  An escalating fraternity prank war makes Andy’s dream come true.  The theft of a fraternity’s prized bird sculpture leads to a high-speed chase and several overturned cars.  Andy manages to save a young woman from a crashed car but, when the car explodes, he ends up with a hunk of shrapnel sticking out of his back.  Ouch!  He dies in Baker’s arms.  If Ponch had been the one holding him, one can only assume that Andy would have been magically healed by the power of Estrada.

This is the rare episode of CHiPs in which someone dies.  In fact, I think this is only the third episode in which a traffic accident has led to a fatality.  It happened once during the pilotDuring the second season, several people were killed in a multi-car pileup.  For the most part, though, CHiPs features people who somehow manage to survive the most horrendous of crashes.  Andy is killed by a sharp hunk of metal but, the show suggests, he would have died anyway from the brain lesions.

Along with a rare death, this episode featured a lot of slo mo of doom.  At the start of the episode, Andy’s reckless driving causes Ponch to crash his motorcycle and we get to watch Erik Estrada’s stunt double fly through the air in slow motion.  Later, when Andy runs away from the exploding car, the entire scene is in slow motion.  It works.  There’s a reason why slow motion is so overused.  It’s incredibly effective.

Overall, this episode had good intentions but a somewhat shaky execution.  Robert Viharo went so overboard with his performance that you couldn’t help but wonder why Ponch and Baker were the only ones who noticed that Andy obviously wasn’t doing well.  Not even Sgt. Getraer seems to notice!  The main problem is that silly scenes of the fraternity prank war (one fraternity even rents a helicopter!) were mixed with scenes of Andy’s mind literally shutting down as we watched.  Tonally, this episode was a mishmash.  CHiPs, with its bass-heavy theme and Erik Estrada’s blinding smile, might not have been the right place to try to pull off a heart-rending drama.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.1 “Go-Cart Terror”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

It’s time for the fourth season!  Ponch and Baker — but especially Ponch — continue to keep Los Angeles safe for pedestrians and motorists.

Episode 4.1 “Go-Cart Terror”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on September 21st, 1980)

It’s time for season 4 of CHiPs, a.k.a The Ponch Show!

Seriously, if there’s anything that really stuck out about the fourth season premiere, it’s that Baker’s character was pretty much superfluous.  Yes, Baker was out there on his motorcycle and helped Ponch catch this week’s bad guys, two thieves played by Larry Storch and Sonny Bono.  But, ultimately, it was Ponch who did the important things.

Who coached the CHP-sponsored go-cart team to victory over the fire department’s?  Ponch!

Who rescued a woman from a van after she crashed into a lake?  Ponch!

Who always knew the right thing to say?  Ponch!

Who did everyone talk to when they had a problem?  Ponch!

This episode established that Frank ‘Ponch” Poncherello is the greatest human being who ever lived.  Baker …. well, he tries.  Baker’s nice and dedicated to the job but, in the end, he can only watch with amazement as Ponch solves all of the world’s problems.

I read over on the imdb that Larry Wilcox did not enjoy working with Erik Estrada and he felt that Estrada was the producer’s pet.  Watching this episode, I can see why Wilcox would have felt like that.  It’s hard to believe that, when this show first started, Baker was the competent one while Ponch was the nervous screw-up who kept making mistakes and who always seemed to be on the verge of getting written up.  The fourth season premiere celebrates Ponch as being the supercop who the rest of Los Angeles looked up to.  Sorry, Mr. Wilcox …. you may be the better actor but it’s hard to compete with the Estrada of it all.

As for the episode itself, it was typical CHiPs.  The criminals were captured after being chased on the freeway and a bunch of kids learned an important lesson about proper go-cart safety.  When the go-cart team had to raise money to compete in the next race, Ponch told all the adults that the kids had to come up with a plan because it was their team and the whole point of the go-cart experience was to learn responsibility.  You tell ’em, Ponch!  I mean, goddamn, Ponch is the man!  Anyway, the kids held a car wash and I think the only reason they did that was so the show could have an excuse to have Randi Oakes show up in short shorts and get sprayed by a hose.  I hope Ponch talked to the producers about treating Randi Oakes with respect.

I liked this episode, even though I did feel bad for Larry Wilcox.  It was silly and fun.