Well, this is dumb.

1987’s Doom Asylum opens with a tragic auto accident.  Attorney Mitch Hansen (Michael Rogen) is out for a drive with his girlfriend, Judy (Patty Mullen).  When Mitch crashes his car, Kiki loses a hand and dies on the spot.  Mitch lives but he’s so horribly disfigured that everyone assumes that he’s dead and he’s sent to the morgue.  When two coroners attempts to slice him open, an angry Mitch responds by killing the coroners.  Personally, I imagine that Mitch could have just sued them for malpractice because he was, supposedly, an attorney.  Oh well, whatever.  Mitch looks like crap now and he has a bunch of surgical tools.  Now, he just needs a deserted asylum and a bunch of dumbass teenagers.

Ten years later, a bunch of dumbass teenagers show up at a deserted asylum.  They want to have a picnic.  Unfortunately, a local riot grrrrl band is already using the asylum for band practice.  The two groups try to co-exist but it proves to be difficult.  The band sees the teenagers as being sell-outs.  The teens view the band as just being noisy and obnoxious.  Water-filled condoms are tossed at the teens.  Meanwhile, one of the teens shuts off the power so the band can no longer practice.  One of the teens is played by Kristin Davis, years before she would find fame as Charlotte on Sex and the City.  Another one of the teens is Kiki (Patty Mullen), the daughter of Judy.

Anyway, Mitch is also living in the asylum and he gets annoyed with both the band and the teens so soon, he’s following everyone around and using his stolen surgical tools to kill anyone that he manages to catch alone.  Making Mitch’s job easy is the fact that everyone keeps wandering off by themselves, even though the asylum is obviously a dangerous place and it often doesn’t make any sense to wander off.  It also helps Mitch that both the teens and the members of the band never seem to actually try to run or anything whenever Mitch shows up with a surgical drill or with a bone saw.  Instead, they just kind of stand there while Mitch drills out their brains.  Poor Kristin Davis actually sits down in a chair while Mitch is approaching her, as if she figured that she might as well be comfortable for whatever was about to happen.  This being a late 80s slasher film, Mitch has a series of one-liner, the majority of which appear to be related to his former profession as an attorney.  Unfortunately, the sound quality is so bad that I had a hard time understanding the majority of his quips.

Give credit where credit is due, the deserted asylum is a wonderfully creepy location and, just judging from all of the graffiti on the walls, I assume it was also an authentic location as well.  The scenes were the camera prowls through the deserted hallways were genuinely effective.  But, otherwise, the film can’t overcome the combination of bad acting, a seriously lame script, and some risible attempts at comedy.  There’s a lot of blood but it ultimately doesn’t add up to anything more than another generic slasher.