Retro Television Review: T and T 3.12 “Thief of Hearts”

Posted on July 5, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, Terri’s ex-boyfriend is in town and T.S. is largely indifferent.

Episode 3.12 “Thief of Hearts”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on March 24th, 1990)

Terri’s ex-boyfriend from college, Zack (Patrick McKenna), is in town. He tells her that he’s in town testifying as an expert witness in a trial but soon, he also reveals that he’s involved in another get-rich-quick-scheme. He’s looking for investors to fund a search for a treasure that was lost at sea. While Turner reacts with his usual indifference, Terri worries that Zack is conning all of her friends.

This was a bizarrely inconsequential episode of a show that, by its third season, had pretty much lost whatever reason it once had for existing. It’s an episode about Terri dealing with her past and her future but since we really don’t know much about Terri — beyond the fact that she suddenly showed up at the start of the third season and everyone on the show has been acting like she’s always been around — there’s not really much emotional resonance to be found in an episode about her having to deal with a former boyfriend who might be a conman. Watching this episode, I again reflected on how weird it is that no one ever mentions Amy or why she’s no longer on the show. I’ve always assumed that, since they share the same last name, Terri is meant to be Amy’s sister but it seems odd that her ex-boyfriend wouldn’t even ask how Amy or any other member of Terri’s family is doing.

This episode wasn’t a total loss. Patrick McKenna gave a pretty good performance as Zack. And I’ll admit that I did laugh when Detective Hargrove went from trying to arrest Zack to agreeing to invest in his scheme. For the most part, though, this was an episode that didn’t add up to much. Mr. T looked even more bored than usual.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.11 “A Place In History”

Posted on June 28, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Are you ready to get back into T and T?

Yeah, me neither.

But I made a commitment to review the show so here we go!

Episode 3.11 “A Place In History”

(Dir by Alan Simmonds, originally aired on March 17th, 1990)

Phil (Sean McCann), the new cut man at Decker’s gym, impresses everyone when he throws one solid punch that breaks the nose of a cocky boxer. Phil tells them that he learned how to take care of himself back when he was better known as Lucky O’Mara.

OH MY GOD, everyone says, LUCKY O’MARA!

Apparently, in the 50s, Lucky O’Mara was a gangster who was famous for stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. His picture was never taken and his mysterious disappearance led to a legend growing all over Canada about what happened to Lucky O’Mara. (He was the Toronto version of D.B. Cooper, I suppose.) After the local media gets wind of Phil’s story, he becomes a celebrity. Everyone wants to interview Lucky O’Mara. And at least one person — a veteran mafia hitman — wants to kill Lucky O’Mara.

Only Turner, Terri, and Detective Hargrove are skeptical of Phil’s story. When Hargrove summons Phil to the police station and announces that he’s going to be arrested for a murder that Hargrove says Lucky committed, Phil comes clean and admits that he’s not Lucky. And it all turns out that Phil wasn’t going to be arrested anyway. It was just a clever ruse on the part of Hargrove and Terri.

At the end of the episode, Phil is back to working as a cut man and no one at the gym seems to be all that upset about him lying to them. Phil tells Turner that he actually is Lucky O’Mara. Turner shrugs.

Wow, what a nothing episode. The idea was intriguing but the episode did little with it. You kind of have to wonder how it is that a busy policeman like Hargrove and a busy attorney like Terri have time to fake arrest someone. I mean, aren’t there real arrests that need to be made? Worst of all, T.S. Turner spent most of this episode sitting in his office. He didn’t growl at anyone. He didn’t threaten anyone. He didn’t get mad at anyone. What’s the point of T and T if you’re not going to use the T that most people are probably watching for?

This episode was typical of the third season of T and T. It didn’t add up too much and Mr. T really didn’t seem like he wanted to be there anymore. I know how he feels but there’s only a few more episodes to go and I’m going to review everyone of them.

Mini Retro Television Review: T and T 3.10 “Silent Witness”

Posted on May 24, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi, everyone! I sprained my wrist yesterday and today, it still hurts to type so today’s review is going to be a quick one. You might even call it a mini-review!

Episode 3.10 “Silent Witness”

(Dir by Alan Simmonds, originally aired on March 10th, 1990)

When a bank is robbed, a young deaf boy named Vito (Daniel DeSanto) is the only witness to catch sight of one of the robbers without his mask on. The police bring in T.S. to keep an eye on the kid until it is time to testify.

This was a sweet episode. Mr. T, who has occasionally seemed a bit bored with the third season of this show, really brightened up when he was acting opposite DeSanto. One gets the feeling that both T.S. and Mr. T are naturally protective of kids. It was nice to see Mr. T being warm-hearted instead of grumpy and annoyed. It felt like a flashback to the first season, when T.S. Turner was still an earnest idealist.

Proving that everyone has to start somewhere, the great character actor Henry Czerny shows up here as a corrupt cop.

This episode suffered a bit due to its short running time. Stuffing an hour’s worth of plot led to things occasionally feeling a bit rushed.

The episode ended with Vito watching Turner argue with a detective (Richard Fitzpatrick) and finally speaking, for the first time in the episode. “Stop!” Vito says. It was a nice note to end on. Stop arguing and just be happy that the case has been solved.

And that seems like a good place to stop this review.

Scenes That I Love: Mr. T Predicts “Pain” in Rocky III

Posted on May 21, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I saw that today was Mr. T’s birthday and, for a while now, I’ve been reviewing T and T, a Canadian detective show that he starred in for three seasons. I figured I could have shared a scene that I love from T and T but there really aren’t any scenes from T and T that are worth loving. Besides, we all know what we immediately think of when it comes to Mr. T.

For today’s scene that I love, here’s Mr. T as Clubber Lang in Rocky III:

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.9 “Movie Madness”

Posted on May 17, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, things get really, really silly.

Episode 3.9 “Movie Madness”

(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on March 3rd, 1990)

Fritz and Nobby are back!

Who?

Fritz (Dominic Cuzzocrea) and Nobby (Avery Saltzman) are two criminals who appeared in two episode of the second season of T and T. The first time they appeared, they pulled a gun on T.S. Turner and threatened to kill him, The second time, they were portrayed a bit more comedically as lovable bunglers. This third episode finds Fritz and Nobby at their most cartoonish.

Fritz wants to rob a Chinese jewelry store that happens to be right next to Decker’s gym. So, he and Nobby walk into the gym and tell Decker that they’ve reformed and they want to shoot a boxing movie starring him. Decker agrees to act. (“I could have been a contender!” he announces.) Then Terri shows up and demands to know what Fritz and Dobby are doing at the gym so they ask her if she wants to be the female lead. (“I have always depended on strangers being kind,” she says.) The boxing movie becomes a love story. Then, when the gym starts shaking due to the efforts to break through the wall that the gym shares with the jewelry store, Fritz explains that they’re testing the special effects for the big earthquake scene. It’s a boxing love story disaster film!

Where is T.S. Turner during all of this? Well, he doesn’t show up until the final 10 minutes of the episode. He immediately suspects that Fritz and Nobby are up to no good. “I’m going to pull the plug on your permanently!” he growls.

One would think that Fritz and Nobby would be smart enough to get out of the gym but they still try to blow up the wall, even with Turner nearby. That’s a big mistake as Turner proceeds to grab them and turn them over to the police.

What a weird episode. First off, Decker has been dumb in the past but he’s never been this dumb. Secondly, Terri apparently knows Fritz and Nobby despite the fact that she wasn’t around during the second season. Not only has this show failed to explain why Amy is no longer on the show but it also continually acts as if Terri has always been present despite not showing up until the start of third season. We’re just mean to accept that Teri has always been the second T in T and T. (How Orwellian.) Finally, T.S. Turner is absent for most of the episode. Why would you go to the trouble to build a show around Mr. T and then not use him?

This was all pretty silly and pretty dumb, even by T and T standards. Remember when this show at least pretended to be a crime drama?

Oh well. There’s only a handful of episodes left! We’ll make it.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.8 “The Mysterious Mauler”

Posted on May 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Mr. T enters the wrestling ring and we all wonder what took so long. Seriously, T and T, do you not realize who is starring on your show?

Episode 3.8 “The Mysterious Mauler”

(Dir by Alan Simmonds, originally aired on February 24th, 1990)

Teri and T.S. Turner are hired to investigate a series of accidents that have afflicted the wrestlers of the Galactis Wrestling Federation. With the GWF royal championship coming up, all of the contenders are being taken out of contention before they even step into the ring! Teri and T.S. think that a wrestler known as the Masked Mauler may be involved but the head of GWF, Mr. Barnum (Elias Zarou, chewing every available piece of scenery), refuses to reveal the Mauler’s true identity. Instead, Mr. Barnum is more interested in putting a “hood” on T.S. Turner and sending him into the ring.

From the start, this episode confused me. It opened with Terri excitedly telling T.S. that their money woes were over because they had been hired by an insurance company to investigate all of the accidents that have been taking place in the GWF. Now, I could understand the company hiring Turner because he’s an established detective but this episode seems to suggest that Terri is now a private investigator as well. But, in every previous episode, Terri has been portrayed as being an attorney who is almost as prominent and as successful as her sister Amy. Terri suddenly working for an insurance company as an investigator doesn’t really make sense. Aren’t the Taler sisters supposed to be crusading attorneys who have dedicated their practice to defending the little guy from heartless corporations? But now, Terri is suddenly an enthusiastic insurance investigator. Terri sold out!

And yet, this episode actually isn’t that bad, at least not by the usual standards of T and T. From the minute I learned this episode was set in the world of professional wrestling, I knew that Mr. T would eventually end up in the ring while wearing a sparkly uniform and that’s exactly what happened. Mr. T perfectly fits into the flamboyant world of pro-wrestling and he certainly does seem to be in a good mood in this episode. From the second season on, T and T has often failed to take advantage of the fact that half of their duo was Mr. T. This episode allows Mr. T to be himself.

As for the Mauler, his identity is eventually revealed. He owns a pizzeria and wears a mask so that his wife won’t discover that he’s a wrestler. The Mauler may be fearsome in the ring but, outside of it, he’s just trying to live a peaceful life and make an appetizing pizza. Good for him!

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.7 “A Lesson In Values”

Posted on May 3, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In this episode, Terri finally get to show what she can do in court.

Episode 3.7 “A Lesson In Values”

(Dir by Clay Borris, originally aired on February 17th, 1990)

While working late at the courthouse, Terri stumbles across a homeless man named Nesmith. Nesmith explains that he’s not a drug addict or a drunk or a criminal or anyone dangerous. He’s just a man who lives on the streets and travels the country, jotting down his thoughts in notebooks. Terri is charmed by Nesmith and offers to find him room at a nearby hostel. Nesmith accepts the offer but then drops dead of a heart attack.

Terri takes it upon herself to serve as executor of his estate. In his will, Nesmith asks that all of his money — several thousand dollars — be left to his friend and traveling companion, Junior Grayson. Turner tracks down Grayson, which is about all T.S. Turner does in this episode. Instead, the entire episode revolves around Terri trying to prove that Nesmith’s will is legitimate. Nesmith’s wife (Fran Gebhard) and her sleazy attorney (John Stocker) want the money for themselves, despite the fact that Nesmith left home 12 years previously and had little contact with her afterwards.

It took seven episodes but Terri finally gets to be at the center of an episode. Unfortunately, it’s a pretty predictable episode and it’s also one that presents the homeless as being not people in need of support but instead as whimsical truth-tellers who enjoy living on the streets. As played by Kristina Nicoll, Terri is not a particularly credible attorney. I mean, Amy was definitely an underused character but you never doubted that she knew what she was doing in court. Terri, on the other hand, seems to think that suggesting that the judge will be a big meany head if she doesn’t find for Grayson is an effective argument.

In the end, Grayson does get the money but, because Nesmith’s owed a bunch of back taxes (Come on, Canada, the mans dead!), Grayson will only be getting a few dollars. That’s okay, though. Grayson knows that there’s more to life than money. Grayson gives Terri all of Nesmith’s notebooks and the episode ends with Terri starting to read them while Turner and Decker box in the background. (Seriously, Turner does next to nothing in this episode and, from what we do see of him, he just seems to be annoyed in general.) Personally, I was hoping that the episode would end with Terri announcing that she was going to get the notebooks published so that everyone could know who Nesmith was.

Another strange thing about this episode is that the actors playing Nesmith and Grayson were not credited. I sat through this show a handful of times, looking for their names but they were never listed. (And they’re not listed at the imdb either.) The actor playing Grayson gave a heartfelt performance and was this episode’s redeeming factor. I wish I could credit him.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.6 “Take My Life Please”

Posted on April 26, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, the Canadian Mafia (*snicker*) is making trouble.

Episode 3.6 “Take My Life Please”

(Dir by Alan Simmonds, originally aired on February 10th, 1990)

Phillip Phillips (played by Robert Cait) is a stand-up comedian who makes jokes about the mob. His mafia-themed humor has made him the hottest comic in Canada but it’s also led to him having a run-in with two men who say that they work for the mob. After they beat him up, Phillip goes to Terri and T.S Turner for help. Terri totally wants to help out Phillip, especially after he explains that he can’t just change his act because “I do mob jokes!” Turner, oddly enough, seems rather indifferent to the whole thing. Maybe he misses Amy.

After being absent for the past two episodes, Terri does return in this episode and she actually gets to do quite a bit. In fact, since T.S. doesn’t really seem to care that much about Philip and his attempts at comedy, Terri actually ends up doing most of the investigating. What Terri does not do is mention where Amy has gone or why everyone is acting as if Terri has always been around. We are six episodes into the third season and the show still hasn’t bothered to explain why a major character has just vanished. It’s disconcerting. I mean, did something bad happen to Amy? Is that why they’re pretending like she never existed? Could Turner’s indifferent attitude actually be the result of the depression that he feels over losing the person who launched the appeal that put him back on the streets? Poor T.S.!

As for this episode, I have to admit that I’m a bit skeptical that Phillip, or any comedian working the Toronto comedy circuit, could become a superstar by exclusively making jokes about the Mafia. I mean, Phillips isn’t Jerry Lewis playing Las Vegas in the 50s and he’s not Don Rickles joking with Joey Gallo in New York in the 70s. This certainly isn’t Sicily, where it requires a lot of courage to run the risk of upsetting the Mafia. This is Canada. And while Canada certainly does have a Mafia that played an important role in smuggling liquor into the United States during prohibition, it’s still hard to believe that Canada is so mob-infested that a hacky comedian like Phillip could become a star with jokes like, “Remember the mob spelled backwards is bom.”

Of course, in fairness to the episode, it does eventually turn out that the two men who are threatening to Phillip are not actually affiliated with the Mafia. Instead, they’ve been hired by a comedy club owner who wants to scare Phillip into hiring him as his agent. That’s actually a fairly clever twist on the episode’s part but it still requires us to believe that the painfully unfunny Phillip is on the verge of superstardom. It just doesn’t work.

Personally, I think this episode should have been about T.S. Turner launching a career as a stand-up comedian. Seriously, talk about a missed opportunity.

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.5 “Decker’s Ex”

Posted on April 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Decker takes the ring.

Episode 3.5 “Decker’s Ex”

(Dir by Ken Girotti, originally aired on February 3rd, 1990)

One night, Beth Knightley (Wendy Lyon, who horror fans will immediately recognize from Prom Night II: Hello Mary Lou) comes home to discover two masked men tearing up her house. They tell her that they are searching for a computer disk that was taken by her deceased husband. They give her 24 hours to find the disk. If she doesn’t comply, she dies. If she goes to the police, she dies. If she tries to leave town …. “you get the idea,” as the main bad guy says.

Having been ordered not to go to the police, Beth instead goes to her ex, who just happens to turn out to be gym owner Decker (David Nerman). Decker asks T.S. to help them out but, when the men show up at the gym, it turns out that Decker doesn’t need any help. Because Turner made the mistake of going to the police and ended up being interrogated by the FBI, it falls to Decker to beat up the bad guys. Decker does just that and he does it rather easily. The Canadian Mob is not sending their best.

(Actually, since this show obviously takes place in Canada, you have to wonder what the FBI was doing north of the border.)

The majority of this episode was taken up with Beth and Decker talking about why their marriage failed. Beth had plans while Decker just had dreams. It really wasn’t anything that I hadn’t heard in a hundred other shows and movies but David Nerman and Wendy Lyon had a likable chemistry and they were convincing as two people who would have once taken a chance on each other. David Nerman was the only member of T and T‘s supporting cast to stick with the series through all three seasons and it’s nice that he was given an episode where he got to be the hero.

(Still, it’s interesting that T.S. apparently didn’t know that Decker was once married, considering that the show previously established them as being lifelong friends.)

Speaking of the show’s supporting cast, this was the second episode of T and T to feature just one T. Again, Kristina Nicoll is featured in the opening credits but the character that she plays, Terri Taler, is neither seen nor mentioned during the show. Just as with last week’s episode, I have to wonder if this was shot before Nicoll was actually hired for the show.

This episode also features no mention of why exactly Amy is no longer working with T.S. The obvious reason for Amy’s absence is that Alex Amini didn’t return for the third season. But, in-universe, it just seems strange that T.S. never mentions her. I mean, T.S. would still be in prison if not for her. Show some appreciation, Turner!

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.4 “Cry Wolf”

Posted on April 12, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, someone from the past shows up but it’s not Amy.

Episode 3.4 “Cry Wolf”

(Dir by Alan Simmonds, originally aired on January 26th, 1990)

While filming footage for what is sure to be a riveting cinematic essay on urban decay, high school student Martina (Joanne Vannicola) films a drug deal going to down in an abandoned warehouse. (The world of T and T was full of abandoned warehouses where people were either selling drugs or hiding stolen money.) Unfortunately, Martina runs out of film before actually capturing the drugs being exchanged. Everyone who sees the footage says that it doesn’t prove anything.

Martina decides to take justice into her own hands. I’m not really sure why. Martina’s obsession with tracking down the drug dealers and getting them arrested feels somewhat unhinged and it’s a bit disturbing to see coming from a teenager. I mean, Martina doesn’t know the drug dealers. She is apparently not a user of cocaine. She’s just decided that these people deserve to be taken down by her. One gets the feeling that Martina is going to grow up to be a member of the secret police.

Martina’s investigation leads her to a suburban couple who capture her and make plans to eventually kill her. Fortunately, Martina’s best friend is Joe Casper (Sean Roberge) and he is able to enlist his mentor, T.S. Turner, to save Martina’s life.

That’s right! Joe’s back. He was a semi-regular during the second season, appearing in the opening credits even though he rarely got to do anything on the show. Still, the return of Joe would, in theory, be the perfect opportunity for the show to explain what happened to Amy. Amy and Joe were close, after all. It seems like it would be natural for Joe and Turner to say something about missing Amy and perhaps provide us with a clue as to why Amy has been replaced by Terri.

However, that doesn’t happen. In fact, Turner acts as if he barely knows Joe, despite the fact that he practically adopted him during the second season. “Why are you kids always here?” he growls when he sees Joe and Martina in Decker’s gym. And seriously, why is everyone always in Decker’s gym? The place is a dump! And is there no one at the gym who could tell T.S. that the hot pink bodysuit that he wears while boxing looks kind of silly?

Anyway, T.S. goes down to the suburbs and saves Martina. As usual, it doesn’t take much effort because the drug dealers are all kind of wimpy whereas T.S. Turner is Mr. T. It was only as things ended that I realized that Terri didn’t even appear in this episode. With Amy gone and Terri not being all the important, T and T is feeling more and more like T.

This episode was pretty dumb but I did appreciate that the drug dealers were essentially just two suburbanites who had no idea what they were doing. That was a nice twist. But otherwise …. yeah, pretty dumb.