Molly David | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Jonathan and Mark help out a vet.

Episode 5.7 “The Squeaky Wheel”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on June 16th, 1989)

Jonathan and Mark attempt to turn Wayne Secret (Robert David Hall) into a disability activist. Having lost his legs in Vietnam, Wayne wants to live a quiet life with his wife (Deborah Benson) but, while staying at a recently renovated hotel, he is woken up by a fire alarm. With the the elevators not working and no ramps, Wayne is forced to depend on the kindness of a stranger who carries him down a flight of stairs. The fire turns out to be a false alarm but the experience leads to Wayne protesting the fact that the hotel is not wheelchair accessible.

The owner of the hotel not only agrees to make changes to the building but he also offers Wayne a job. Things are looking up for Wayne! But, when a gang of young men harass him and his wife at a drive-in movie, Wayne snaps. He buys an Uzi and then heads down to their clubhouse to take them out. Luckily, Jonathan appears and talks Wayne out of becoming a mass murderer. Wayne goes on to receive a “man of the year” award while Jonathan beats up the leader of the gang.

This episode felt very familiar. In the past, this episode would have featured Mark’s brother-in-law, Scotty. Instead, it features Wayne, who is not a particularly compelling character. I think that this episode would have worked if it had just focused on Wayne advocating for wheelchair accessible buildings. I also think it would have worked if it had just focused on Wayne’s anger to the gang and his struggle to let go of his bitterness over his war experiences. Unfortunately, trying to cram both those storylines into one 45-minute show led to the whole thing feeling half-baked.

There was one poignant scene in this episode. It opened with Mark and Jonathan visiting the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Mark got excited when he came across Michael Landon’s star. “Never heard of him,” Jonathan shrugged. “I forget you’ve been dead for forty years,” Mark replies. It captured Jonathan and Mark’s friendship, which was always been one of the more underrated aspects of Highway to Heaven. That said, it was also a bit of a sad scene as the episode itself aired a day after the death of Victor French and Landon himself would pass away nearly two years later.

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, the CHiPs team investigates an accident and a guest star gives a really terrible performance.

Episode 4.20 “Dead Man’s Riddle”

(Dir by Michael Caffey, originally aired on May 10th, 1981)

An accident in the mountains causes three cars to explode and one driver to die. Since the dead driver was a captain with the Los Angeles fire department, the MAIT Team is sent out to recreate the accident and to try to figure out what happened. They know that at least three cars were involved in the accident. One driver died. One driver is in the hospital. And the other driver appears to be missing. Getraer suspects that the accident could be due to people racing each other in the mountains.

What makes this episode odd is the casting of Joanna Kerns as psychiatrist Colleen Jacobs. She’s assigned to the MAIT Team. She actually drives through the mountains frequently and she even gets involved in racing sometimes. In fact, she saw one of the cars right before the accident! At first, she doesn’t bother to share this with anyone. Instead, she just sits in the background with a guilty look on her face. Finally, Jon Baker — in an unmarked car — tricks her into trying to race him. That’s when she finally confesses….

….and faces absolutely no consequences! Oh sure, Getraer gets a little annoyed and says that it would have been helpful if Dr. Jacobs had been honest from the start. But Dr. Jacobs is allowed to continue to work with the MAIT Team. Even though she intentionally withheld evidence from investigators, she’s not charged with obstruction. Ponch tells her that she’s getting a chance to redeem herself which I don’t think is police policy. No one comments on the fact that, even though she was worried that she may have previously caused a fatal accident, she still tried to race Baker. Does no one care that, at the very least, she appears to have no impulse control?

Making things even stranger is that Joanna Kerns gives one of the worst performances that I have ever seen as Dr. Jacobs, delivering half of her lines as if she’s struggling not to laugh. Even when she’s admitting her fear that she may have been responsible for the accident, she still seems like she’s on the verge of breaking out into laughter. It’s very odd.

Speaking of odd, an eccentric old man named Max (Owen Brooks) claims that he saw a UFO before the crash. (Dr. Jacobs laughs when she repeats this.) It turns out that he just saw a hubcap flying through the air.

In the end, it’s proven that the captain was not at fault in the accident. That’s all that anyone really seems to care about. I assume that Dr. Jacbos and Baker then proceeded to race each back to Los Angeles.