The TSL Grindhouse: Mitchell (dir by Andrew V. McLaglen)


I come here to defend Mitchell.

First released in 1975, Mitchell does not have a great reputation.  It’s often described as being one of the worst of the 70s cop films and Joe Don Baker’s performance in the lead role is often held up to ridicule.  A lot of that is due to the fact that Mitchell was featured on an episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3000.  Last year, for my birthday, my friend Pat McCurry actually hosted a showing of the MST 3K version of Mitchell.  I laughed all the way through it.  It was a funny show and most of the jokes uttered by Joel and the Bots landed.  That said, I wish they hadn’t been so hard on Joe Don Baker.  Baker was an outstanding character actor, one whose good ol’ boy persona sometimes kept people from realizing just how fiercely talented he actually was.

Here’s the thing with Mitchell.  Just because a film is snarkable, that doesn’t mean that it’s a bad film.  Just because there are moments in a film that inspire you to talk back to the screen, that doesn’t make it a bad film.  Some of the most enjoyable films that I’ve ever watched were enjoyable specifically because they were made to inspire the audience to talk back to the characters.  Whatever flaws you may want to find in Mitchell, it’s an entertaining film.  The plot may be impossible to follow but who cares?  When you’ve got Joe Don Baker, John Saxon, and Martin Balsam all in the same film, does the plot really matter?

This is a film that you watch for the personalities involved.  Balsam plays a wannabe drug lord who always seems to be somewhat annoyed.  Someone once describes Bernie Sanders as always coming across as if he was about send his meal back to the kitchen because it was too cold and that’s a perfect description of Balsam’s performance in Mitchell.  John Saxon plays a sleazy rich guy who murders a burglar and then tries to cover up his crime.  Saxon is calm, cool, collected, and completely confident that his wealth will get him out of anything.  And then you’ve got Joe Don Baker as Mitchell, wearing an ugly plaid suit, drinking beer the way that I drink Diet Coke, and continually pretending to be dumber than he actually is.  There’s an interesting subtext to these three characters and how they interact.  Saxon and Balsam play criminals who are both rich and who both think they can get away with anything because they’ve got money.  Mitchell is a complete and total slob, a guy with a cheap apartment, a cheap suit, and absolutely no refinement at all.  Mitchell uses his good old boy persona to get the bad guys to continually underestimate him.  He ultimately turns out to be smarter and actually more ruthless than any of them.

Joe Don Baker throws himself into the role of Mitchell and there’ actually a lot of intentional humor to be found in his performance.  Baker doesn’t play Mitchell as being a supercop.  Instead, he plays Mitchell as being a blue collar guy who gets absolutely no respect.  Even when he’s on a stakeout, a random kid starts arguing with him.  (Mitchell loses the argument.)  Mitchell’s a jerk who busts his hooker girlfriend (Linda Evans) for having weed on her but he’s also the only one who could stop Balsam from doing whatever it is that Balsam thinks he’s trying to do.  (Again, don’t spend too much time trying to understand the plot.)  Mitchell’s super power is that he’s a slob who doesn’t give up.  To paraphrase Road House‘s Dalton, he plays dumb until it’s time not to be dumb.

As I said, it’s an entertaining film.  Where else are you going to see a not particularly high-speed chase between two station wagons?  Where else are you going to see John Saxon in a dune buggy or Joe Don Baker in a helicopter or Martin Balsam as the captain of a yacht?  Where else are you going to see a film that features its hero saying, “Yep, that’s grass,” before arresting his lover?  Mitchell is fun and entertaining and I’ll always defend both the movie and its star.

Mitchell (1976, directed by Andrew V. McLaglen)


Mitchell (played by Joe Don Baker and don’t you forget it) is a detective who rubs everyone the wrong way because he’s a huge slob.  In order to keep Mitchell from investigating a murder committed by a mobbed-up lawyer named Walter Deaney (John Saxon), Mitchell’s superiors order him to conduct surveillance on businessman James Arthur Cummings (Martin Balsam).  Cummings is in the export/import game, which can only mean that he’s looking to smuggle heroin in the United States.  Mitchell balks at having to spend hours sitting in a car and watching a house but he finally agree to do it just so he can show up his superiors.  “I’m going to get Deaney and Cummings!” he says.

In order to get Mitchell off of his back, Deaney sends him a prostitute named Greta (Linda Evans).  Mitchell doesn’t have any problem having sex with Greta but he does have a problem with her smoking grass.  After spending two nights with her, he hauls her off to jail for possession because the only intoxicant that Mitchell needs is Schlitz beer.

Eventually, both Deaney and Cummings get tired to being harrassed by this slob so they team up to kill him.  This leads to both a dune buggy accident that has to be seen to be believed and an exciting helicopter chase.

Mitchell is best-known for having been featured on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.  Everyone remembers Joel and the bots making savage fun of Joe Don Baker and commenting on the plot’s incoherence.  What is less well-known is that the version that was shown on MST 3K was a heavily edited version that was missing some key scenes.  Earlier today, I watched the unedited version of Mitchell.  It’s still pretty bad but the plot does make slightly more sense.  In the unedited version, we actually learn why John Saxon just vanishes from the movie and we also see the end result of Mitchell’s final confrontation with Cummings, instead of just cutting away.  Even more importantly, in the unedited version, we discover that Mitchell spends the entire movie being threatened, abused, and insulted.  It makes it easier to understand why he’s in such a terrible mood throughout the entire film.  The unedited version of Mitchell is not much better than the edited version but it is a tougher and more violent film in every way.

Mitchell is usually described as being a take on Dirty Harry but it’s actually more of a French Connection rip-off.  The slovenly Mitchell has more in common with the erratic Popeye Doyle than with the cool and collected Harry Callahan.  Unfortunately, Mitchell doesn’t have any scenes that can compare to the chase scene from The French Connection nor does it have that film’s gritty, semi-documentary tone.  Whereas Doyle and Callahan got results through being smart along with being tough (Dirty Harry, for instance, goes out of its way to show that Callahan is dogged investigator and not just a trigger-happy cop), Mitchell just annoys people until they try to kill him.

For all the shit that Joe Don Baker has taken for starring in Mitchell, his performance is not that bad.  He’s convincing as a borderline fascist cop who doesn’t get much sleep and who doesn’t trust anyone.  It’s just that Mitchell, as written, is never a likable hero.  Instead, he’s the type of hero who busts his girlfriend because she has a tiny amount of grass in her purse.  Of the villains, John Saxon is believably sleazy as Deaney but Martin Balsam sleep walks through his role as Cummings and, even in the unedited version, his plan never makes much sense.  Balsam and Saxon should switched roles.

Finally, no review of Mitchell would be complete with including the lyrics of the haunting Mitchell theme song, sung by Hoyt Axton:

“My my my my Mitchell
What do your Mama say?
What would she do
if she knew you
were fallin’ round and carryin’ on that way…
Crackin’ some heads, jumpin’ in and out of beds
and hangin’ round the criminal scene…
Do you think you are some kind of a star like the guys on the movie screen…

Well oh my my my Mitchell
What would your captain say?
If he knew you was hangin’ round
Eatin’ with the crooks and shootin’ up the town
Know you been out there, roundin’ up the syndicate
succeedin’ where the others have failed
Oh my my my Mitchell
You shoot ’em just to get ’em in jail
When they take a look in the record book, they’ll find you got a lot of class…

The whole shebang, arrestin’ painted ladies for a little grass
Oh my my my Mitchell!”

“Mitchell!”

The cover of the unedited Mitchell DVD features Joe Don Baker from Walking Tall, Linda Evans from Dynasty, and a publicity still of John Saxon. Martin Balsam, however, does appear to have been taken from the film.