13 For 13: Cellar Dwellar (dir by John Carl Buechler)


1987’s Cellar Dweller opens with Jeffrey Combs playing an artist.

Sitting in his art studio (located in the cellar of his home), Combs draws a picture of a monster and he adds a few Lovecraftian occult symbols and — uh oh! — the monster comes to life and start to destroy everything that Combs holds dear.  Combs discovers that he can stop the monster by setting his drawings on fire but, in the process, Combs also destroys himself.

This ten minute prologue features Jeffrey Combs at his best, bringing his neurotic Re-Animator energy to the role of the artist who discovers just how dangerous an active imagination can be.  One reason why Combs is a horror icon is that he can win your sympathy even while playing a character who does some objectively stupid and terrible things.  Unfortunately, once the prologue is over, so is Jeffrey Combs’s role in the film.  He may be first-billed but he doesn’t appear after the opening credits.

The film jumps forward to 1987.  Cartoonist Whitney Taylor (Debrah Farentino) is the latest artist to take residence at Mrs. Briggs’s Institute For The Arts, which just happens to be in the same house that was once home to Jeffrey Combs’s artist.  Mrs. Briggs (Yvonne DeCarlo) is a noted critic of modern art.  In fact, Whitney and Mrs. Briggs disagree so vehemently about art that you really do wonder why Whitney would apply to the Institute in the first place.

There’s a few artists at the Institute.  Norman (Vince Edwards) is a tough guy writer.  Philip (Brian Robbins) is a bad boy artist.  Amanda (Pamela Bellwood) is a former rival of Whitney’s and the two still hate each other.  (Whitney seems to rub a lot of people the wrong way.)  Best of all, there’s a performance artist named …. LISA!

Lisa is played by Miranda Wilson.

Frustrated with Amanda, Whitney gives into her worst instincts and draws a cartoon the features a monster killing her rival.  Uh-oh.  Soon, the monster has reemerged from the cellar and Amanda has disappeared.  One-by-one, the other residents are picked off and their deaths appear in Whitney’s cartoons.  The monster claims that he dwells wherever there is imagination but Whitney is convinced she’s figure out a way to destroy him and bring everyone back.  Has she?  You’ll have to watch the film to find out!

Produced by Charles Band’s Empire Pictures, Cellar Dweller is an enjoyably macabre little tale.  It’s only 77 minutes long and the fast pace makes the film feel like an extended episode of a horror anthology series.  The monster and the plot feel like they could have been lifted from a 50s horror comic and the other artist are all memorably eccentric.  The cast appears to be having a ball.  It’s a fun treat for horror fans like you and me.

Cellar Dweller was directed by special effects specialist John Carl Buechler and he does a good job with the monster.  It’s both intimidating and kind of goofy at the same time.  A year after Cellar Dweller, Buechler directed his best known film, Friday the 13th Part VII — The New Blood.  That film too was likably goofy.

Horror Film Review: Tales From The Darkside: The Movie (dir by John Harrison)


First released in 1990 and based on a horror-themed television series that was created by the one-and-only George Romero, Tales From The Darkside: The Movie is an anthology film.  Usually, I can’t stand anthology films because it seems like the viewer only gets one good story and has to sit through two or three mediocre stories to get to the worthwhile stuff.  However, I have to say that I really enjoyed all of the stories featured in Tales From The Darkside: The Movie.

The film opens with a wrap-around story, featuring Timmy (Matthew Lawrence), a young boy who is chained up in a pantry and who a local witch named Betty (Debbie Harry) is planning on cooking for a dinner party.  Timmy tries to distract Betty from her kitchen duties by telling her three stories.

The first story features Steve Buscemi as a nerdy college student named Edward Bellingham.  On the verge of getting a much-needed scholarship, Edward is framed for theft by two of his classmates (one of whom is played by Julianne Moore) and loses the scholarship.  Edward responds by doing what anyone would do.  He unrolls an ancient parchment and brings to life a mummy who kills his rivals.  A very preppy Christian Slater plays Andy, the smug brother of one of the victims who seeks revenge against Bellingham.  In a surprise twist, Bellingham is able to get some vengeance of his own.

The second story features William Hickey as Drogan, an annoying old man who is convinced that he is being stalked by an evil black cat.  Drogan hires a hitman (David Johansen) to kill the cat but, as we all know, black cats are far more clever than anyone realizes.  The story ends on a notably grisly note because cats rule!

Finally, the third story features James Remar as a struggling artist who, one night, discovers that the stone gargoyle that sits atop of his apartment building is actually alive.  After witnessing the gargoyle kill someone, the artist promises never to reveal that the gargoyle exists.  “Cross your heart?” the gargoyle asks before flying away.  Later, the artist meets a mysterious woman (Rae Dawn Chong) who helps him to become a success on the art scene.  However, even after he marries the woman and they start a family, Remar is still haunted by his memories of the gargoyle.

As I said at the start of this review, I’m not a huge fan of anthology films but I really liked Tales From The Darkside: The Movie.  All three of the stories are equally good and there’s really not a slow spot to be found.  This is a horror anthology that manages to balance scares and laughs without becoming too silly or forgetting that the movie is meant to be a horror story.  Steve Buscemi, Christian Slater, and James Remar are stand-outs amongst the cast.  Even the wrap-around story had a good ending!

If you’re going to watch an anthology film for Halloween, allow me to recommend Tales From The Darkside: The Movie!